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After 50 years just coming to terms with my need to crossdress, due to my gender fluidity. I mainly feel female, but feel no need to transition, just to be more feminine, and have done all my life, and have struggled with my mental health due to coping with this, and recently this has been becoming more and more necessary.
I am not interested in men, and happily married to the same woman for almost 30 years, who I have only very recently come out to, mainly due to my internal frustration during the Covid lockdown.
I have come here to try and understand myself and get tips on managing, and dressing.
Just ordered my first outfit of my own, and looking forward to it, after spending years borrowing first my mothers and sisters, and latterly my wives clothes.
Welcome to CDH, I hope you find this wonderful place as helpful and friendly as I have!
And wow! I reckon there’s loads of us coming to terms with new realities after the lockdown, some good some not so good. I also only came out to my wife in March this year.
dm anytime if you want to chatSeraphina or Seren xx
Hi Sharon, welcome. I’m from the UK too. CDH is a great place! I’m sure you’ll love it. Tanya.
Hi Sharon,
Welcome to the friendliest place on Earth. I’m from the UK but I’ve been living in the US for the past 15 years. You’ll find so many people here who have been through what you’re going through now, especially in terms of coming out to your spouse. I hope she can accept this side of you. Don’t be afraid to ask questions. That’s what we’re all here for, to support each other. Make yourself at home.
Diana
Sharon
We certainly love sharing our experiences as much can be learned . Get comfortable and start browsing our wonderful site and explore more about yourself , open up your true feelings and discover where your paths may lead. Meet many of our ladies who love to offer their advice and tips to better your understanding in our love for dressing. very nice meeting and hope to see you here soon. Look forward to your outfit. It is special to have your own..
Stephanie 🌹
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Strangely positively. More concerned for me that I had kept it hidden than for herself. She has anxiety about it, then talks to me, tells me that she then realises that I am the same person that she married, but is concerned of what other people may think of me. The first time she saw me in stockings after I told her it turned her on. She suggested I get my ears pierced. She has been thinking about trying makeup on me for when we are alone (we currently have our son and his girlfriend in the house 24/7). Sunday morning I put on a dress and stockings and laid on the bed reading, and she came in, smiled, and laid alongside me, and she was ok with it. I think we are going on a journey together now. I just hope it works out.Hi Shanon
Wow, you’re very lucky…shame you have the kids there!
The fact it turned your wife on is amazing. I don’t know if I have the courage to go for it. I did tell her the other day when we were having a drunken discussion about fantasies that I’d like her to put stockings on me but she hasn’t followed up on it in any way, probably because we aren’t having sex and aren’t in a great place intimately.
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Sorry I didn’t answer “how I told her”We both recently read “Grayson Perry, Portrait Of an Artist As a Young Girl” by Wendy Jones.
I almost told here whilst we were talking about that, whilst she was reading it after me.
We were in the kitchen, I was getting emotional and apologising for being stroppy the last few days.
She asked what was going on, did I not love her anymore.
I told her no, it was an internal frustration, and discussed my recent over-grooming (hair removal) and said that was part of something coming out of me. I then told her I had been secretly crossdressing my whole life, we have been all locked in the house together since February, and I have had no room to express myself. She asked about my sexuality (do I fancy men when I am like this), whether I want to change gender, why do I do it, how, when, how did she not notice, why I had kept it from her.
I was totally open and honest, some questions I didn’t have the answers to, as I hadn’t asked them of myself, and gave an answer later after beginning to understand myself. I told her of my earliest memories, and how I had managed, and apologised for stretching and ruining certain items of her clothes over the years.
Her current anxiety is if I change, now it is out, get too feminine, will I annoy her. Time will tell. I don’t know how it will effect me, and how that will effect her. We’ll just have to deal with it together.
Hi Sharon
lovely to see you here and love your profile and intro post !
I’m originally a ‘Moonraker’ from Devizes – so another Wiltshire girl – but now live in Cornwall.
Also like you I have not progressed my transition as I am happy with being me and have a very supportive partner !
Yell if you want to chat any time
hugs
Dawn x
Hi Sharon, Teralynn here. Welcome to our wonderful online community Luv! I am so glad you found us and decided to become a member. I am equally glad you finally told your wife about your desire to crossdress. It appears that you have a really wonderful wife! She is definitely a “keeper” in my book! Since you have been married for so long and you only revealed your crossdressing recently, I can only imagine the strain you must have been under all those years! The feelings you had to deal with all that time are not easy to handle. A lot of crossdressing people succumb to feelings of guilt and shame which you may have experienced also. Wherever your crossdressing journey takes you, having a supportive wife and an online community of crossdressing people available to interact with can be of considerable help to you. I also recommend that you encourage your wife to join the significant others group one of our other members mentioned to you in another welcoming post! As supportive as she is, I am sure she has anxiety about what the future holds for the two of you. Being part of a support group can help her deal with any anxiety she has! If I can ever be of service please feel free to contact me through this site and let me know how I can help. A post on my home profile page wall or a private message will get the fastest response. – Blessings
Hi Tina
Welcome to CDH it’s always lovely to see another girl from the UK here, you must be excited getting your first outfit! But be warned, one outfit is never enough!! If you want to chat, PM me any time.
Hi Sharon and welcome to CDH. I’m very glad you joined our happy little family. Have a look around the site and where you feel comfortable, join in.
Finally coming to terms with your crossdressing after 50 years must be both a great relief and yet still somewhat scary. I’m glad your wife is supportive, that helps tremendously. It’s good that you don’t have gender dysphoria. I’m sure that makes everything a whole lot tougher to deal with. I’m an androgyne, which I see under the genderqueer identity, but I understand gender fluidity. Until fairly recently I felt much the same thing although instead of feeling mainly female I felt and feel sort of like a simultaneous mix of male and female. And being bipolar I definitely understand doing what you need to do for your mental health. I get the feeling that’s more than just a phrase for you, isn’t it?
Welcome again to the family and I hope you find what you’re looking for here.
Thanks Andrea, where in the UK are you?
Yes, very excited but nervous. I only have lingerie atm, which I go out in sometimes under normal clothes then have to try to remove when I get home before my wife sees. I sometimes wear panties to bed and although the risk is exhilarating, the thought of being caught is stressful. I’ve never been out fully dressed, or have any outfits. That’s a big step. Kind of need to find a partner in crime!!
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