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Hi Janelle,
Cross dressing is different for everyone. My experience and interest in dressing femme is likely much different that others on this forum, or your spouses. I came out to my wife 3 years ago, after 10 years of marriage. It came as a shock for her as well, but she was willing to allow me to open up about my journey. I can tell you from personal experience, the initial ‘coming out’ can be very stressful. Your spouse may go through periods of extreme emotion as they navigate their femininity. If you’re willing to listen to their desire and feelings about dressing understanding will likely come in time. Natalie.
Hello Janelle
I’m very interested in your reaction to finding out. The fact you are here says you are curious and caring and probably not totally freaked out.
I’ve been here a few months and have really been taken by the intro statements. We all have roughly the same story. I’d like to follow your thoughts as you hear and read them.
It’s a good bet that your husbands history is not much different.
I myself have not told my wife. Though I’m considering it more and more. The stories about the girls with accepting and supportive wives make me want to get to that place.
Nice to meet you. Hope we can be in touch.
MeeshelleJanelle Nice meeting you. Your a very special spouse and your partner is so fortunate. This is certainly the place you’ll find many of the answers you are seeking. Totally understandable in your reaction, you may be experiencing feelings of betrayal, being lied to, a breech of trust or just simple thoughts of “are you kidding , seriously ” And a dynamics of your relationship have been brought into question. The ‘Is he gay?’ Question is a common one, or you feeling he is somehow less of a man for wanting to cross dress.
Been here a long time, most of us are just normal heterosexual men who love to experience what women can but normally prohibited by societal pressures about gender steeeotypes. We just want to try what you can freely experience if you want, make up, a far more interesting range of clothing and accessories, wonderful fabrics and colours. Maybe we want to try something different from the normally ‘drab’ options we have in menswear, shoes etc.
He has probably kept it a secret as he is terrified he would lose you if you found out. Had you known when you were dating would it have adversely affected your opinion of him. And the longer the secret is carried on the harder it is to admit it. He was maybe also afraid you would question his sexuality, think of him as less of a man, something which hurts. For me, and many others, perhaps your husband included it is only looking different for a bit, to stand out, enjoy experiencing new things. I think I look fab when dressed, others may disagree but it’s good for my soul. Perhaps like a hobby or addiction, not trying to play down the angst you are feeling but there are worse addictions to have.
I hope you can keep the lines of communication open, come to terms with it, and come to some kind of compromise. In relationships we all have to compromise to some extent.
I saw the shock from my wife as for us we were married for many years and only a short while ago that I opened up to her . The biggest concern was the mistrust I caused. Seeing her and the hurt that it caused was hard. We had many talks and through this agreements and guidelines were set and together were slowly working it out. But Cdh and it’s resources helped my wife and myself understand more about our individual troubles. I learned more about myself and she with help from a wonderful group we have here exclusive for my wife where many GG gals like yourself could receive the help and support to get the answers your wanted to know. This group – private ( wives and significant others ).
https://www.crossdresserheaven.co
For you special ladies where Cders are not allowed. Meet with them and get the support you need. Look into other forms written by others who talk about their experiences, their questions they may ask with many offering help and advice so everyone can understand better on so many confusing topic . Many face this troubling ordeal but be assured you have support and help from everyone here . Relax, get comfortable and enjoy being part of this wonderful community that really does care for all that passes through our doors. The best to you both as you venture through these new paths together . Very happy meeting you and welcome.
Stephanie 🌹
Hi Janelle, The very fact you are reaching out to learn more is a testimony to how much you care for him. Many wives take the opposite approach and the marriage is irrevocably harmed. Sine there are so many reasons a man chooses to crossdress I suggest you talk it through and try to determine the reason. Hopefully it is something you can both accommodate in your marriage. I know my wife and I have worked things out, and that is important to me since we will be married for fifty years in June. Hugs, Paulette
Hi Janelle,
Welcome, it is lovely to meet you, I hope you find the help and support here for you and your partner.
I have a very supportive wife and she has known about Tara from very early in our relationship. We have always been open and honest with each other, at times it has been challenging but we have worked through this.
If you want to ask any questions please feel free to message me.
Tara.
Hi Janelle nice to meet such a wonderful supportive and accepting wife .. As you have come here you are intrested in everything abour you Husband/Girlfriend .. Im another one that has a wonderful supportive wife as we have been married now 39 + years and i came out to her just after marrage and we had many discussions but she accepted right away and a wonderful work in progress since then.. As we live in a area that i cant go out its a at home girl time for me so listen and talk to her and have fun like my says its fun to have a girlfriend to play dressupp with he he ..
Stephanie Bass
Hello Janelle,
Welcome to our amazing CrossDresserHeaven (CDH) site. So glad you have joined us here. Feel free to explore all that our site has to offer.
The Warmth, Compaasion and Hospitality of our community members can be found throughout the site.
Please do make use of the forums and articles or public chat room and friendships offered here on CrosDresser Heaven.
At any Membership level, You can contact any of us via [ PM ] Private Messages. You can find that link on each member’s Wall under their Profile picture.
Also, you may find what you need such as Help Center or Ambassadors by using the links in the top R/H drop down 3 bar [ hamburger ] menu.
Here is a good link to review the membership levels and the privledges for each. Such as Private Chat, Groups, etc.
https://www.crossdresserheaven.com/membership-account/membership-levels/
Regards,
Terri Anne, Ambassador
=========== Link to our public Chat room ==============
Janelle welcome. Thank you for reaching out and researching the issue. You are special and I can tell you care. It really is not something one can change. It will always be there. I cannot explain it, but it is a fact. The reason you are here is proof enough or she would not have even told you about it. Something very secret and shared with you. Feel special because you are in reaching out.
Chrissy
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