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Hello. My name is Sammy. I am new to this. My spouse of 15 years has recently let me know he wants to try cross dressing. I have been only supportive towards him, trying to reassure him and make sure he is comfortable. I am struggling with my feelings. I love him so much, and am so thankful that he fits comfortable enough to share this part of himself with me and I don’t want to share all my feelings with him because I don’t want him to feel ashamed or not accepted. I am hoping to find a support network for myself to talk through my feelings while being accepting of my spouse.
Hi Sammy!
Welcome to CDH! You’ve definitely taken some good steps, and big ones too! Support, love and compassion are key. To know that he feels safe with you is HUGE!! Im sure you have some “mixed” feelings and thats totally understood. There are plenty of people here that can help you. There’s even forums specifically for just wife’s/SO’s to talk and discuss. Another important thing to keep in mind is that its OK to not totally understand it, because HE may not totally understand it yet. Its a journey to face together.
Best wishes to you
Robyn
Thank you so much for your reply. I know he is still trying to figure this part of himself out as well. I am looking at it as a journey we will take together. I don’t want to express any reservations I may have to him because I WANT him to be completely open with me. I want to be his safe place. And I truly want to help him. If I were to express all that I am feeling l, I fear it would make him feel ashamed. I requested to join the SO group.
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I cannot say enough how marvelous that is. YES!! Be completely open and honest is critical. Be he safe place to fall, because right now he feels extremely vulnerable. So take great care to ensure he feels safe and secure. Just like a woman would want to feel. The more “negative” stuff, YES, keep that more private and discuss that with other GG’s who can help you work thru it.Personally – I think you are waaaaay further along than most! You’ve got a great handle on this already. Your approach is great. take it light, easy and positive with him.
Big Hugs – Robyn 🤗❤️
Hi sammy.
I hope you can get some help on here. Ive not been on long and have found help and compassion from my fellow cd. My partner has just found out today about my secret life and i know right now the world us going through her mind. I want her to open up to me and same for me, i know how you feel might make your partner hurt but as ive said to mind that i have been hurting in side for 40 years and just want to be open.
Please understand that they are clothes and are only unacceptable because we live in a world that doesnt understand at times, your partner is still that same person the same heart and soul, but likes to wear clothes that are beautiful.
Im going to accept everything my partner says and like yours hope that our true love can see past the clothes and see the inner soul.
Message me if i can help at all.
I hope your partner finds acceptance and that you can both explore your femininity together. 💗 I low from my perspective, I have had a wide range of emotions. It’s been difficult to navigate, and it’s all so new and fresh. But above all else I love my husband for who he is and want to accept and love every piece of him. If your wife ever wants to talk to someone else who is also new to this and going through the same, she can reach out! I joined this site to gain more insight and also to look for a supportive group, maybe it would benefit her as well.
HI Sammy
I think you have done the right think in not only trying to understand your partners needs but also trying to find out what this thing is all about. This is a very difficult time for both of you but if you both love each other there will be a way through this. It will take time, it will need compromise on both sides, but it’s not the end of the world. If you an manage a sensible and fair accommodation of each other’s take on this situation you have the basis for not only an acceptable long term relationship but a great one! Good lucked for the future to both of you…….xx
Sammy, welcome to CDH. This a great site that offers help and support to all that seeks it. You have already identified the one main factor in CD relationships. “Love” your SO is still very much the person you love. You show compassion, and sympathy, and willingness to learn all about his need to dress. Communication, and supporting each other is now vital. Many of us here have strong marriages, raised kids, even though we like to dress. Yes it’s a bumpy road, but if you are both strong love will win. You probably have a lots of questions, and answers to find. We’ll there is a lot of girls here who may have the answers or can help you, please, please, feel free to ask, or if you simply need to talk, there is huge amount of friends on here who will listen and support you Sammy. There is even a forum for SO of CDs too. Wishing you both the best, Amanda xx
Hi Sammy,
It is highly likely that your husband has been thinking and struggling with this issue for a very long time. He is handing his heart and emotions over to you, with the hope that you will still love and respect him, for the person that you have been married to for those 15 years. It is extremely difficult to tell anyone about the inner you, especially when those words go something like this: Oh and by the way, I feel natural and at peace when I am wearing a bra with the weight of breasts hanging from my chest. And, while we are on that subject – I would like your input on what style of bustier would work best for me ?
Those few words spoken to your spouse are absolutely gut wrenching to say ! Just be aware that he has gone through that admission to you, hundreds of times in his head, and has finally gotten up the courage, that he can say them.
It sounds like you are on a path to working to understand him. Ultimately, all that most of us want is to be loved and respected for who and what we are, and to be accepted by our loved ones on that level. The clothes do not change who we are, they just allow us to be more real in how we live our lives.
Sammy:
It is so critically important for you to remember that whatever specific choices the two of you may make, you have taken the most important step which is to be open and honest with each other. I strongly suspect there are no absolutes about how our wives feel about this part of our lives in CD. I fervently wish mine would even consider a discussion on the idea. Each time I have tried she immediately shuts down.
You and your husband have a wonderful opportunity to grow together into a new part of your life together. Do not waste the chance to share. Be thankful that your love for each other transcends all else.
V
Sammy …Welcome , this is certainly the place you’ll find many of the answers you are seeking. For you it would be extremely difficult. The shock I’m assume and now what to do, what to do for him, do for you and to whats happening between you two. We had many talks and through this agreements and guidelines were set and together were slowly working it out. But Cdh and it’s resources helped my wife and myself understand more about our individual troubles. I learned more about myself and she with help from a wonderful group we have here exclusive for my wife where many GG gals like yourself and I see you’ve already joined it, that’s wonderful and that in its self will help you in many ways. Look into other forms written by others who talk about their experiences, their questions they may ask with many offering help and advice so everyone can understand better on so many confusing topic . Many face this troubling ordeal but be assured you have support and help from everyone here . Relax, get comfortable and enjoy being part of this wonderful community that really does care for all that passes through our doors. The best to you both as you venture through these new paths together . Very happy meeting you and welcome.
Stephanie 🌹
Hello Sammy.
I think it’s great that not only have you both have created a relationship of openness and honesty, but that you are taking such soft steps in this dramatic new chapter of your marriage.
The information, support and experience on offer here for you is immense and I hope it brings you to a good place.
Hi Sammy, and Welcome to CDH. EVERY person is welcome here that wants to be a part of this special slice of life. Thank you for accepting what your husband has told you. Please remember that the acceptance, support and comfort that you are showing to him, is returned to you also, it is a two way street. Please do not forget yourself and your feelings and don’t get lost from who you both are as a loving couple, first and always. I have seen several marriages end up sideways on a bad track through not caring for each other both ways emotionally, but I have also seen a few that truly prospered after learning this huge secret a husband has carried for years in his life.
Communicate openly. NO yelling or name calling. You are both going to cry at some point, so stock up on Kleenex. Above all else, DO NOT give up on each other, 15 years is a lot of investment in each other to let slip away.
We are all here to help you with your questions as much as we possibly can, and we come from almost every walk of life you can imagine, so the shared experience level is as high as your eyes.
PaulaF
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