- This topic has 14 replies, 10 voices, and was last updated 3 years ago by Michelle Newman.
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- January 11, 2021 at 9:25 am #430887
For me its hard to say: Hello i am. Cause i dont know exactly who i am. Thats why i joined here. I hope it helpes me figuring out.
When i made my profile here i went to the chat and got a warm welcome. Thanks to all the lovely ladies that where there!
So some in the chat know a bit from story. But here it is:
When i was a little boy we went camping with the family. I had my own tent. One night there was a big thunderstorm and my tent broke down and all my stuff was soaked. My clothing my sleepingbag everything.
So there was only 1 kid about my size and that was a girl. So her parents gave me some clothes to wear. At first i didnt liked it. But after a few minutes i loved it. When had to give them back i even got mad.
After that there was a long time i didnt do anything like cd. In puberty i did it at some occasions. But when i started doing it frequently was when i was 30 i think.
All the time i was pretending to be a real man. Doing like i am intrested in sports and things like that. Trying real hard all times is killing. Pretending to be something your not.
Than i met my wife. I got new friends. And the shame started. Not for my wife she liked it. But for the world. For my self. So i tossed all my feminine clothes in the charitybox. (My lovely leather boots!) i am still sad about that.
Than came a few quiet years. I got merried we bought an rv. And we traveled. I love traveling!!
Than came 2 traumatic events wich i hope no one ever haves to encounter. Even thinking about it chills me to the bone.
After that the need to let my feminine side out came back. And it hit hard real hard. It started with buying some pantys online. And nowe i am wearing skirts dresses and everything.
I am starting the day with doing my eyes. Even though i am going to work. In my workclothes.
I am letting my hair grow. I think it is going way to slow! And when the shops open again (lockdown here) i am getting my ears pierced!
I am on a waiting list for mental healthcare. The traumatic events made me real depressed. In combination with not knowing who i am.
I know i am not a sis gender man. I am non binair. Or i am a trans woman. This is what is going on in my mind every moment i am awake.
And some times i am in a really bad place. Thats when the shames comes and hits me hard. Than i jut feel like i am a monster that shouldnt be on the world.
Luckily my wife is supper suportive.
Sorry for the long story. I am realy glad i found this warm suportive community! If you have any questions just ask!
- January 11, 2021 at 9:33 am #430891Anonymous
Hello Merel
Welcome to CDH.
Glad you found the site.
Hugs
Jessica
- January 11, 2021 at 9:48 am #430907
Merel . trying to figure who we are is certainly a taunting task but now you are among friends. We understand how you must be feeling and here is a good place to explore and discover who you are. Many here experience different paths but all have a common goal to transform ourselves to be that lady we feel inside. Meet with them ,talk to and share each others experiences through this wonderful world we have chosen. Enjoy your time with us and know your part of a caring community of support and acceptance for all , welcome
Stephanie 🌹- January 11, 2021 at 10:11 am #430927
Thanks for the encouraging words! Means a lot to me!
- January 11, 2021 at 1:43 pm #431016Anonymous
I’ve been trying to figure out who I am for 50or so years now and its only recently I can say with any degree of certainty that im krissy and krissy is me as for years I would deny every time I got caught dressing that I was a crossdresser! I even said one time that I did it for a bet to get some money💰 but recently its dawned on me that if I didn’t try to be krissy it would eat me up which it has done in the past. So now I’m happier knowing that im being the person I should be and its no big deal if I dress as a woman as I am a woman inside.
- January 11, 2021 at 1:36 pm #431014Anonymous
Nand se Merel
Jy is in die beste plek op aarde!!!We understand, there comes a time when you don’t ask why… just enjoy the freedom!!
Talk and we will listen, nothing to be ashamed of amonsts us Gurlz.
Hugs Roxie.
- January 11, 2021 at 3:15 pm #431050
Hi Merel,
Welcome to CDH. I’m glad you found us.
– Robyn
- January 11, 2021 at 3:30 pm #431058
Hi Merel,
Welcome to CDH! Sorry to hear about your boots. I hope you have found a new pair.
Alice
- January 11, 2021 at 9:20 pm #431241
[postquote quote=431058]
Unfortunately no new boots yet…. No new shoes at all yet. Lockdown here after that i will go shopping!
- January 12, 2021 at 1:12 pm #431559
Hi Merel, Teralynn here. Welcome to our wonderful online community. I noticed you are from the Netherlands. We don’t get many members from there, but your English is so good you will have plenty of CDH sisters to communicate with from all over the world. I commend you for letting your wife know early on about your crossdressing It solves a lot of potential problems right away. Give her a hug for me for being so understanding and supportive. I picked up 2 things in your introduction post I would like to comment on. First – dont get caught up in the whole labeling of what you are thing. Live your life in a way that makes you happy and productive. Others may consider it appropriate to label you as one thing or another, but do you really need to have that in order to live happily? Secondly, if you are having feelings of guilt and shame for crossdressing, then becoming a member of CDH may help you deal with those feelings positively. Look around this site and get to know some of our fabulous members. A lot of them have had similar feelings but have come to realize that their crossdressing journey makes them happy. There are a lot of perfectly legitimate reasons why people crossdress and none of them I have researched make them weird, crazy or evil. Who have you hurt by your crossdressing? Chances are nobody! The most important person in your life – your wife – knows and accepts you as you are. So do yourself a big favor and accept your crossdressing as part of who you are! No guilt! No shame! Just enjoy your life with your wonderful wife. If I can ever be of service please feel free to contact me through this site and let me know how I can help. A post on my home profile page wall or a private message will get the fastest response. – Blessings from Teralynn
- January 12, 2021 at 10:58 pm #431731
Hey Terralyn
Thanks for your reply. Its another big help. I am struggeling with som issues and i think every girl does or did. So cdh is a big help to me. And i hope i get help from a therapist soon. Some times the darktimes get the best of me. But it is slowely getting better!
- January 12, 2021 at 2:18 pm #431576
[postquote quote=431241]
Hi Merel,You’re right about the lockdown. Hope you find a fantastic sale.
Alice
- January 12, 2021 at 2:25 pm #431580Anonymous
Hi
Boots maketh the Lady!! You can never have too many pairs!! 🤗Hugs Roxie.
- January 13, 2021 at 1:47 pm #432015
Hi, hello, and welcome to Crossdresser Heaven! You have just arrived at the best and greatest CD site on the web! CDH has tons of very helpful crossdressing information, tips, and support from real people just like you! We highly encourage new CDH members to ask questions no matter how trivial you think they may be, as we are happy to answer to the best of our ability. We also love a well written profile, this helps everyone to get to know you better as the beautiful woman you are! We hope that you enjoy your stay here at CDH, as we are happy to have you as a part of our wonderful crossdressing community.
Thank you, Samantha Roarke
- January 26, 2021 at 5:39 am #438441
Welcome Merel!
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