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I cannot believe I am doing this…but I am glad that I can.
When I was eight or nine, I had to stay overnight with two of my little girlfriends…but had nothing to sleep in…ther mom put me in a little satin night shirt.
I presume many of you know how that worked out…..it stuck. Unfortunately, it stuck in the rural south in the 1970’s and eighties….so, while I have been in and out of women’s clothes in shameful privacy for three decades or so…I never had any chane nor hope of being out, at all. Through a 23 year marriage, now over, a 20 year Navy career, and being Mr. Manly Man….there was not much room for She/Her/me.
I never thought there would be. My new love, R. is an out and proud polyamorous bisexual woman, usually with bright purple hair, in your face attitude and the biggest heart ever.
Well….she doesn’t miss much, and found me out….It was my intention to not bother her with it…but she drug it out of me, and was immediately supportive, and we are feeling our way. A few days ago I finally broke down and offered to show her all my clothes…She was excited and proud of me for it….and eager…..and promptly made me chuck most of it…
…..We hit the thrift stores together and she shopped like a madwoman for me….we left with three big bags of clothes. Ordinarily, I detest shopping for clothes…that may have been the first time in my life that it was fun…
And….so….we go on…She asked me if there was a name, and of course I had never given it any thought, so she helped me, and we settled on Rowan Ailbhe (“ail-vah”) and I will prefer to be called Rowan.
I do not go out in public…for alot of reasons…but mainly right now because I am finding it hard to let go of my beard….sigh. But that is ok for now…I don’t need to.
Rowen I’m happy your now here . It sounds like an exciting time for you right now and to have someone beside you to enjoy your passion. Facial hair, I hear you, for over 40 years my mustache was my pride and joy. I have never shaved it off, my wife of 40 years is never see me without one, nobody has then suddenly this year with all the changes happening to me the love of dressing , femininity that I’m revealing became too much to me and then it happen . GONE! !. and now I just love it and it certainly does help my feminine appearance. You think? .it took this to convince me and I’m sure in time you’ll see it too. Happy your here, many friends to be made and most of all many here to talk and share our experiences. Enjoy your journey ahead. 🌹
A Great Big hug WELCOME to CDH, Rowan! Glad you found us. Any questions or advice…just ask any of the girls, we are happy to be able to help. You are a very lucky person, to have such a supportive wife, as you will read, a few of us have had problems. Bless her heart. A personal thank you to the US Navy and her fly-boys and ships……you saved my Cavalry units bacon a number of times in Nam. Bless you all. Good luck……..how about a removable beard?????
Best regards……….
Lady Veronica Graunwolf
Rowan, I can relate to a lot of what you are saying. I also was married for over 20 years to my first wife, am a military veteran, and usually wear a beard (mostly because 1. I look like I have no upper lip – without lipstick, anyway – and 2. my wife of eleven years has not seen me without it much). I also just joined this group recently looking for support and reassurance from like-minded individuals. I didn’t think I would ever do this either.
You are fortunate that your current SO is supportive. I’m still closeted and am still struggling with whether or not to tell my wife about the “other me”. None of my family or friends know about my crossdressing and I am still trying to decide if I can even tell anyone.
I have in the last several months tried dropping many clues by shaving off body hair and wearing more daring underwear (bikinis, silk, even sneaking in a pair of women’s silk panties) and expressing feelings about feminine traits in men, but I’m pretty sure that as of now my wife wouldn’t approve. Sigh.
Sorry this post became so long. As I said, I’m new here and just starting to let this all out.
[quote quote=74145]Rowan, I can relate to a lot of what you are saying. I also was married for over 20 years to my first wife, am a military veteran, and usually wear a beard (mostly because 1. I look like I have no upper lip – without lipstick, anyway – and 2. my wife of eleven years has not seen me without it much). I also just joined this group recently looking for support and reassurance from like-minded individuals. I didn’t think I would ever do this either. You are fortunate that your current SO is supportive. I’m still closeted and am still struggling with whether or not to tell my wife about the “other me”. None of my family or friends know about my crossdressing and I am still trying to decide if I can even tell anyone. I have in the last several months tried dropping many clues by shaving off body hair and wearing more daring underwear (bikinis, silk, even sneaking in a pair of women’s silk panties) and expressing feelings about feminine traits in men, but I’m pretty sure that as of now my wife wouldn’t approve. Sigh. Sorry this post became so long. As I said, I’m new here and just starting to let this all out. [/quote]
Hugs! I am sorry you have to deal with that. Yes..it is difficult to be constricted. The weight off of my shoulders…(and on to my chest ;^P ) is nice.Hang in there though!
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