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About me,
I’m a MTF Heterosexual crossdresser/Transgender. I told my wife before we were married. My siblings know. I also told one of my my daughters. My children, grandchildren, friends, and co-workers are unaware of my crossdressing and likely would not be accepting. I’ve been dressing for 65 years and I’m a Lifetime member of TRI-ESS.
When crossedressed at home, or travel with my wife we act as friends. I engage in full dress at home twice a week while my wife is away at work. There is nothing sexual between us when I’m dressed in my fem attire. When I travel dressed as a male, or when I’m dressed as my male self around the house we are husband and wife as a normal heterosexual couple. My wife and I enjoy a normal heterosexual relationship although my crossdressing has negatively impacted our intimacy as my desire to dress more often has increased. As a result of my wife’s deep love and commitment for her man/husband she tolerates my compulsion, and for brief periods of time and will sacrifice her own dignity to support my happiness and need to crossdress! We have set boundaries and it works for us having mutual respect for each other. We are looking to start or become members of a group for crossdressers and their SO, in CT. or RI. or MA. for get togethers and friendship. If interested email; elise.elise8652@gmail.com and introduce yourself.
Recently we went to Las Vegas. I wore age appropriate Dress. Went to dinner with my friend (Wife) in Vegas. We went to shows, Hells Kitchen, Gallagher’s Steakhouse, other fine dining and hit the Casinos. I spent four days in fem and changed outfits three to four times a day. When we Hit the Casinos, did breakfast, lunch or dinner we had not one problem.
I don’t pass and had no problem letting people know I’m a man who likes dressing as a female. Upon being honest and open with those I came in contact with I was treated with respect. I feel honesty is the best rule of the day and I found people treated me as just another person when I acknowledged that I was aware my appearance was atypical.
We are planning our next trip, possibly to Fantasia Fair in P-Town October 16th-23rd. When traveling I really don’t care what others say or think, even though I know I do get looks and comments. I need to be true to myself and to my wife. I have no problem correcting someone who refers to us as ladies or calling me ma’am, as there is no way I’d pass for or as a woman! My wife on the other hand is beautiful and does not deserve to be judged as anything less simply because she is in my company. I don’t like to be patronized and don’t appreciate when people are trying to be politically correct! You have but one life, so be all you can be and remember you are who you are and I am who I am.
I dress in age appropriate clothing as much as possible, dresses, skirts, leggings, tunics, jeans and slacks. I do wear a mini skirt or mini dress occasionally. I dress more frequently, at home two times a week and have now started to venture out dressed, but only in states or towns where I won’t be recognized.
I’m Not interested in transitioning, I’m strictly heterosexual and have a loving relationship with my wife. While dressed as female we act as friends and have no intimacy. We’ll travel, and while I’m dressed in my female clothes, we’ll have separate rooms and act as two friends enjoying a trip together. We have the same routine at home as I dress twice a week while my wife is away at work. She shows tolerance if she should see me dressed before she leaves for work. On those days we sleep in separate bedrooms so I can wear my lingerie to bed. While dressed as my male self we’re a normal heterosexual couple. Dressing is just part of who I am and I balance my life accordingly. I feel very strongly about the boundaries we have set so my wife and I can continue a healthy relationship. She has her man five nights a week and I’m free to dress in fem twice a week, and also while on the one or two trips we plan to take during the year. Transitioning is not for me; I have a wonderful life and wonderful wife. As a heterosexual male I would not consider transitioning but will continue MTF Crossdressing.
Thanks for letting me share,
Elise
Your story is quite amazing. I admire your discipline and guidelines. Your wife is very impressive too
Hi Elise what a wonderful life you have as the support of wife/girlfriend its a special arangement which is beautiful so happy for you hugs girlfriend ..
Stephanie Bass
Hey Stephanie,
33 years of marriage and still working on getting it right. She is a very special woman and not only the love of my life but my best friend!!!
Thanks for your comment,
Elise
Hi Elise, and welcome. Many of us are heterosexual cross dressers who love to get in touch with our feminine side. In my case it has made me a much better person. By the way, I take exception to your comment that you do not ‘pass’. From your profile photo I would differ. So many of my girls friends feel the same way. I tell them to go to Walmart and watch the CIS women coming out. Many would not ‘pass’ and they are natural born women. But also, as my good friend Kandi Robbins says, the key is NOT ‘passing’ but ‘blending’. From your comment about age appropriate clothing,etc. you have that down to a science. Hugs, Paulette
Paulette,
Thanks for the kind words. I can tell you when I look in the mirror I see a much different person from the one in the photos. I think we all see this beautiful sexy person while dressed and made up and looking in the mirror, then as we see ourselves in the photographs it’s reality. I’ll note some girls can pass but I’m afraid I can’t. I am who I am!!!
Thanks Elise
Hi Elise, I am 74, and at my age I don’t care what others think about me only what I think about myself. Frankly, if you are happy and comfortable in your own skin don’t worry about others. The neat thing about the world we live in is everyone is so self-absorbed they wouldn’t notice us even if we were naked! Hugs, Paulette
It sounds like you two have a balanced lifestyle that suits you both…. congratulations on achieving what so many can only dream of.
You are incredibly lucky to having such a supportive wife. An amazing story, sounds like you had a fun time. Thanks for sharing.
Xoxo,
Dani
Hello Elise,
Welcome to our amazing CrossDresserHeaven (CDH) site. So glad you have joined us here. Feel free to explore all that our site has to offer.
The Warmth, Compaasion and Hospitality of our community members can be found throughout the site.
Please do make use of the forums and articles or public chat room and friendships offered here on CrosDresser Heaven.
At any Membership level, You can contact any of us via [ PM ] Private Messages. You can find that link on each member’s Wall under their Profile picture.
Also, you may find what you need such as Help Center or Ambassadors by using the links in the top R/H drop down 3 bar [ hamburger ] menu.
Here is a good link to review the membership levels and the privledges for each. Such as Private Chat, Groups, etc.
https://www.crossdresserheaven.com/membership-account/membership-levels/
Regards,
Terri Anne, Ambassador
=========== Link to our public Chat room ==============
Hi Elise and welcome to CDH. I joined in mid December and am absolutely loving it. I have met alot of the girls and have found them to be very welcoming and caring bunch. You will find the same I’m sure. If your pic in your profile is you then I think you’re being to hard on yourself. You appear to be a passable mature lady to me. I’d love to chat anytime.
Love,
Trish
Elise,
Thank You for so much sharing in your article..unlike you, my wife continues to process my CD revelation which was revealed in the 40th year of our 50 year marriage…she prefers that Leonara dresses when she is not home, she out 2x a week which affords me the opportunity to express my feminine side.. as much as I wish that my wife share my feminine side as you explained in your article your wife’s acceptance… however “don’t ask don’t tell” continues to work for us
Give your wife a hug… she is very special and thank you for your very informative article….
Regards, LeonaraHi Elise, im Ragina. So happy to have you with us here. I too enjoy just being who I am. Often we are our own worst critic. I think you look great, and many people do tell me that I look pretty as well. It takes time for some of us to really start to see the woman in the mirror. Im getting there as I develop my own style. It’ll come,and soon youll see a pretty good looking woman emerge. Much love and respect, Ragina.
Hello Elise
Welcome! This is a great place to share your knowledge of all things feminine, and learn a lot too. Thank you for your introduction!
Hugs,
Lara
Welcome Elise! I enjoyed learning about your life and relationships, but I’ll also admit to a degree of envy. I beleive that the quality of relationships speaks the the quality of the people in them. In other words, you and your wife must be pretty great people.
Elise, welcome. Thank you for sharing your story. I’m happy for you that you have an accepting spouse.
May I offer you up a comment? When someone calls you “ma’am” or refers to you and your spouse as “ladies,” you can always smile at them and give (silent if you prefer) thanks. Even if they have you “made” as a man wearing a dress, they are respecting how you present yourself.
I’m an MTF Crossdresser and I ALWAYS take it as a compliment when someone calls me “ma’am.”
Good luck on your journey.
Renee,
Thanks for the comment, I prefer to lay it out there and call an ace an ace and a spade a spade. My wife’s dignity and given the fact that I don’t pass I feel the need to say it as it is. As I said in my Bio, I found more people treated me as just another person when I acknowledged that I was aware my appearance was atypical. I actually carried on several conversations with different people after explaining my fem dress. I prefer to let people know I am who I am. I appreciate your comments and insightful input.
Thanks,
Elise
Elise isn’t it wonderful when you have support from someone so close to ones heart . Having your wife’s acceptance certainly makes this journey most fulfilling. I too enjoy this but with full agreement as she needs to be a important part in these decisions. Liberty’s are a blessing and never taken for granted . You now have many here too to enjoy expressing yourself with total acceptance and a confinance to explore more. Happy to welcome you and enjoy your time with us.
Stephanie 🌹
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