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What do you think of the old fashioned hen party? Ladies used to get together for tea, biscuits and talk for a few hours. No alcohol, no sexual overtones, just a chance to meet and greet without pressure. Once a group of regulars has been established then they can rotate whose house they meet at. It’s a step toward going out in public without some of the pressure of public places. You are surrounded by trusted friends and can just be yourself. Being new to a group might be a challenge but could also be very rewarding as relationships deepen. Sometimes a group will decide to have their meeting out at some venue in the larger world, for those who are interested. I often ponder how to get something like this going.
Dear JJ,
How quant you refer to these social events as hen parties. My Mother and her bridge club, neighbor ladies, family gatherings, bet your panties that alcohol and adult conversation was involved.
What you are describing is a CD/TRANS social group. They may meet at a safe venue for regular meetings and plan group activities.
The woman who did my first makeover and ran a transformation business from her home would throw parties in her home, or occasional safe group trips out. They started fairly regularly, but then were irregular and less frequent. One of the reasons was for those who wanted to avoid the bar scene as a place to get together.
As we got to know many of the regulars, it was just regular conversation. It wasn’t “girl talk” such as fashion, makeup, boys, etc., just how have you been, what’s new.
One problem with rotating homes is that not everyone is free to dress at home, let alone bring others dressed into their homes. Some people need to come in male mode, dress for the event, and leave in male mode. Not everyone has the same space in their homes, or parking arrangements. You may have to arrange for food and share costs or charge an up front fee. Then you get the no-shows and have to deal with their share of the cost. The host(ess) probably has to do some extra cleaning before the event. It becomes difficult.
Meeting out of the home alleviates some of these problems because people can order what they want, and you may even be able to get separate bills so that the people who order less don’t have to subsidize those who order more. The space issue and parking issue is most likely solved. Those who have to change will likely have to arrange meeting up with someone early or not attend.
There is no perfect solution that meets all people’s needs. You just have to do the best you can. Meetup is a good place to see if there is interest, although the organizer has to pay a hefty fee twice a year. You can try to collect on that with “dues” to share the cost.
Hey JJ, that sounds like a great idea to me. You girls in the US seem so much more outgoing and have more bravado than us girls in Europe. Is there anyone in the Belgian area who would like to follow up this idea?
And JJ, let us know how starting up such a group went (so that we can learn from your successes).Thanks
Hugs
ChristineIt’s a tough logistics problem generally solved by a social group that meets regularly at a hotel. There was a group that had a unique solution way back in the 1950’s in the New York Catskills area called Casa Susanna. You can look it up on Wikipedia or google it. It would be great fun to have a place like that again but we have several conventions each year that can scratch that same itch and allow us to meet up and make friends. Definitely on my to do list as soon as I am able.
Hi JJ, Our very own Martha (@matty) here on CDH has created just such an event for the folks here in the Midwest. While it’s not in a house and there is alcohol and food available to those interested, it is similar to your hen party. Martha has made arrangements with a friendly bar that has extra room. So once a month Martha has a meet and greet and people drive as much as 3 hours to attend and have a wonderful time. Some even come with SO’s. Many get a motel room and stay over. It is very well organized and Martha is the most gracious host and organizer. I’m sure that Martha’s parties could be a similar model for the hen party that you describe. Perhaps there is a bar or pub or public room that is centrally located within a few hours driving of others that could form a group. Then it only takes a grand conductor like Martha to keep things in check and running smoothly. I’m sure that Martha would be willing to share her secrets for how she runs things if you ask her. I hope that helps. Marg
Ah yes, Casa Susanna, a fascinating piece of our early history from the late 1950s & early 60s. It provided secluded privacy, a requirement for virtually all of Susanna’s guests.
Fast forward to the present. While hotels provide comfy meeting venues for CD groups, they still do not offer complete privacy for those who require absolute privacy. Moreover, groups who meet at hotels normally will charge annual membership fees, as well as meeting fees to pay for the hotel room in which they meet, as well as social event fees. Charges can add up quickly.
There are alternatives for getting together with other girls, if one thinks out-of-the-box. CDH offers some great resources for meeting other girls in your own geographic area. Utilize resources in the local community, as well. All the better if you live in a large LGBT-friendly city.
Concerning conferences, in August & September 2023, there will be two separate conferences held in Atlanta, Georgia:
Atlanta Comfort Conference & The Paradise Conference
Reservations are underway already for both these conferences.
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