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I don’t need a “Thank you” or a reply, although I do appreciate any and all feedback you do leave for me.
Mainly I just need to vent about today!
Samantha; strong, confident, sexy, “I am women”. These are the things that come to my mind when I think of her. Today, I completely gave up on her! (Grrr, getting teared up typing this now). I don’t know why I’m being such an emotional girl right now…maybe some weird “That time of the month” thing? Anyway, today I was going to get dressed in Samantha mode and hit the streets of the French Quarter, it’s a beautiful day one of those awe inspiring one’s. Dress up time, fun fun! Sexy jeans, Saint’s shirt, my “girls” and all the cute accessories to polish off my girl next door look. Make-up, no problem, can do it with my eyes closed. I’m aseasoned vet at this point in my CD career. Throw on my pore concealer, then time to glue on my fake eyelashes. Not today, I fumbled around with them, glueing them on everywhere but my actual eyelids. Becoming ever more frustrated with every attempt to put them on my face. The towel was thrown into the ring, I packed all my make-up up and hastily ripped off my cute little outfit! I had just become overwhelmed and stressed out with defeat from some damn fake eyelashes! I know just don’t worry about them and just do the make-up like normal without the lashes. Well, ladies…I CAN’T do that, it’s ALL or nothing for me. This may seem silly to some; no matter how trivial the task I have do it to the best of my ability, OCD maybe so.
I failed Samantha today! I just walked away from her because I couldn’t do my lashes, WTF! Why? Why, couldn’t I get them on, I have done them a hundred times, even in a car. Why, did I just say F it today, when all I wanted today was to be Samantha so badly? So many whys…I don’t know the answers. I do know tomorrow is another day. I will rally back. I guess everyone just has a bad day from time to time. Thanks for listening to my rant…I just had to get it out I guess.
-Samantha Roarke-
Hi Samantha,
Its OK hun we all have those days.
It may not be eyelashes but it can be anything.
I am a mechanic by trade and I have days when I say I would be a good mechanic if my hands didn’t get in the way.LOL
I am sad you didn’t get to go out though .
It sounded wonderful ,sexy jeans and a saints shirt I love it.
I wish I had your courage to do that.
You lost a day to a fake eyelash.
I lose every day to no courage.
Love Patty
[postquote quote=247106][/postquote]
Patty,
Thank you for the kind words. I mean I just about broke down in tears, over a stupid eyelash! And NO I’m not on any hormone treatments lol. I was just super mushy today. As for courage; I never tell people this, but I too am sometimes scared sh1tless. I just smile and keep walking love!
-SR-
When we move into expansion, there is a part of us that wants to contract. Sometimes contract wins.
This seems to be no more evident than in CDs. When I expand into my feminine self, the contract part seems to be just waiting to pounce.
My antidote is to focus on the joyous, ecstatic feeling of being Lorie in full expression.
And, being genderfluid, I sometimes just let it go and be androgynous or even masculine for a little while.
And being emotional is something that I revel in, knowing it is part of my feminine self that is finally able to express in my heart. Lovin it!
Hugs, Lorie
Samantha,
….words failing me a little bit so please bear with me….
So sorry this happened to you
Sorry I didn’t read this sooner than 8 days old
Would love to give you a great big hug, sit and chat with you over a cup of coffee.
Have you tried magnetic eyelashes ? I haven’t tried any fake eyelashes yet but I have heard some of the magnetic ones work very well.
Big Hugs
Autumn
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