- This topic has 42 replies, 41 voices, and was last updated 1 year ago by
.
- Posts
In my opinion🤔 it is quite common and natural to have thoughts that are divergent from our own perception of our sexual identity.
Our sexual identity is not always aligned and corresponded with our gender identity.
For example, I know I have a polymorphic or fluid sexual identity (as they say in modern times) and my gender identity is a TGirl.XOXOX from Italy 🇮🇹
Greta ❤️
Interesting topic indeed. I don’t have any answers but I’m experiences the same thoughts. I’ll hang out here and see what people say.
Cece –
This is an interesting topic.
For myself, I have had encounters with males a number of times in my life but have always considered myself heterosexual. Since coming out a few years ago though I have rethought where I am and considered myself bi, though I haven’t acted on those feelings. Recently, after a discussion with a friend, I have rethought it again and would consider myself to be pansexual.
It will be interesting to see what others have to say.
XOXO
SuzanneCece –
This is an interesting topic.
For myself, I have had encounters with males a number of times in my life but have always considered myself heterosexual. Since coming out a few years ago though I have rethought where I am and considered myself bi, though I haven’t acted on those feelings. Recently, after a discussion with a friend, I have rethought it again and would consider myself to be pansexual.
It will be interesting to see what others have to say.
XOXO
SuzannePerhaps it is ingrained in our psyche which has been molded by societal norms to have two sexual aspects thus suppressing these thoughts and actions by conditioning. Is there some kind of natural reason which manifests itself as there is a lot of evidence that intimacy between same sex is not new in history, different societies had different attitudes. While looking for labels to explain your feelings the reality is that you are just being yourself as it is there quite naturally.
I don’t have any actual data to back this up, but I’d like to think many more men have these kinds of thoughts/fantasies than care to admit. I also would like to think WAY many more men have tried or have fantasized about crossdressing than care to admit. I think our CD status sort of give us license to acknowledge such things in ourselves, and we are the more psychologically healthy for it.
For me, I would say I am attracted to women On many levels. I think women are beautiful, hence why I believe is one reason I want to be one so badly. I love everything about them and want to be them so badly. I haven’t been intimate with a woman in a long time but would like to be, with me as a woman also. I have had intimate times with men while dressed. I am not necessarily attracted to them, but I enjoy the feeling of being a woman that they give me when they are with me. That’s my thought anyway.
I’ve been with several men over the years ever since I was a teen. I’ve also been with several women and I really loved that. But, a few years ago, I met a guy that really rocked my world. He treated me as his girlfriend in every way. He would open doors from me, buy me little gifts, hug and kiss me everytime I saw him. He would take me to his bed and make love to me. I loved that so much. He moved away so I haven’t been with a man since. I really miss being in a strong man’s arms and making love to him. I hope that I can find a guy again.
Denise
I agree, I have little doubt most men fantasize about being with another man. I certainly do, but never have, and doubt I ever will. No doubt women do the same, but it is more acceptable for them to do and act on…just another odd inconsistency in our society.
Do we as crossdressers have more such fantasies? I suspect probably so because we are thinking outside the box and we are pushing societal norms already. Plus some/many are already on a different part of the gender curve. I tend to have such thoughts more frequently when dressed, but still when in drab as well.
hi all
this very interesting to me also, while i consider myself heterosexual and normally wouldn’t dream of being otherwise , but when dressed en femme my thoughts drift not to men but to other crossdressers, the thought of being with a hairy mean just has never appealed to me. But the thought of being intimate with another crossdresser has definitely crossed my mind, having said this then i suppose i could dwell in being a crossdresser lesbian, that is where my thoughtt transgress to.
Wendy
CeCe, thanks for the question. My SO and I had this talk a while back and I didn’t really have to think of the answer I just replied I’m Bi, but I feel that I would act more on the urge of being with a man while dressed as a woman. Didn’t get much of a response but I could see the wheels were turning.
I’m enjoying the honesty in all the replies.
Sherri
I love women ! And wouldn’t change my feeling about that I’m in a relationship with a wonderful understand women who gets me and how I am, it’s a miracle for me she also knows I am not interested in men in any sexual way,
I was 19 years old Once while in Mexico City my buddies and I were out clubbing getting tore down drunk when out of know where a young man started chattering away in Spanish and smiling from ear to ear creeping me out ? So I said to him no Habla Espanol me amigo so this young man puts his hand on mine too take me to the dance floor I said Que Paso ? He said something to me I didn’t understand and my buddy sitting there just starts roaring with laughter I said what the hell what’s going on my buddy Jorge says he thinks your cute and would like to dance maybe buy you a drink ??? I’m like wait What ? Well needless to say that went over like a led balloon in short I made sure that I removed that smile from his face along with some teeth … No I’m not bragging and I’m sorry .
I’m not Gay I do not have a fantasy to be with a man, I love women and the clothes we share lol.. I have mellowed out over the years and I wouldn’t react like that again I would definitely have to get NO across in another way, this was 1982 and I was 19 not to mention being totally drunk in Mexico City living life..
I’m not Gay in anyway be careful who you approach, I will not talk $h1t about gay ppl or the transgendered community that would make me a hypocrite I’m a man who likes to wear dresses !
I apologize to those who this might offend ..
Love this topic Cece since I’m probably a good case study in the matter. I considered myself straight in my teens but by my late teens I got incredibly strong urges to want to be in a relationship with a guy and experience everything that came along with it. I theorize that it was probably wearing lingerie to bed every night that made me feel so extremely feminine that it pushed me towards wanting a guy. Right around that time I found out that one of the guys in my circle of friends was bi and leaned towards wanting to be with another guy – not to mention he was so good looking and had a great personality – I went for him and we’re still together to this day and I’ve loved every minute of it, let me tell you the perks are incredible.
It’s not that unusual for CD’s to have these thoughts flash through their mind on occasion. We are after all trying to emulate women. It’s crossed my mind a few times but is quickly forgotten about because I am not sexually interested in men. An attractive, feminine crossdresser might be a different story however.
Outwardly, I am as hereto as the next “bloke” in my day to day life. (OK, I underdress 24/7 and wear femme nightwear to bed every night).
But in terms of attraction to others. I prefer women, but when dressed the idea of spending time with another feminine crossdresser and “exploring” each other, has a certain “unreachable” appeal.
IE “Two lesbian CD’s”.
But if I did so and my beloved found out, that would be the end of the relationship.
I just could not live with that idea, so it aint gunna happen.
An occasional fantasy is to be wined, dined and seduced my a man when dressed. But “see above”
Caty.
Hi Caty!
You capture my feelings so well! Being a lesbian CD has a very special allure. Not much thought about ‘men’, but so many wonderful fantasies and desires about other ‘gurls’ like us. We will never figure it out, will we? So just enjoy is my approach. Thanks again for your thoughtful reply.
hugs, Stephie
Hi CeCe, well, personally and this is only me as I cannot possibly speak for anyone else anyplace. I’m purely heterosexual. Presenting as a male, I enjoy the intimacy with my spouse and have done so for years, (and lots! of times) as well as with my ex- before she left for her own reasons (and that was not one of them). I have no interest in other males as a male, don’t even imagine it (I was once presented in my teens with that opportunity, but I easily walked away from it). But, as I said, I’m totally heterosexual, and if I had ever transitioned, I fully expected that that would have stayed with me, and I would then have appreciated and enjoyed the intimacy of being with a man, and today, but only when dressed, I can still imagine it, and which I don’t consider it with other women. But, that’s me. YMMV
Hugs, ChloëC
I think it’s fairly common and I think generally not considered gay if your presenting as a woman, not that it matters. For me I have those thoughts dressed or not as I identify as bisexual in my male and female versions. I’m in a monogamous hetro marriage, and she knows all about me. I wouldn’t cheat so these are just fantasies. I’m extremely happy in my situation but it would be a lie if I didn’t think about being taken out for dinner and dancing with a cute guy.
From early on in my teen years I had thoughts about being with a man, but (keeping it clean here) the thoughts were about the package, and my eyes still checked out the girls. I married at a young age and I’m still married to my college sweetheart, as a reference I am in my Medicare years now. In my late 50’s I dabbled with a small portion of the possible male/male encounters. I would say those encounters were intoxicating to finally fulfill that life long wonder, but it was just a physical thing, that didn’t have the same intimacy as encounters with my life long partner. So I guess I identify as a heterosexual with a bi curious side that has been satisfied that likes dress girly. My eyes still roam to the females, but I have never been even close to wanting to pursue another.
I have found that the more I have given into my feminine side, the more interest I have in men. Maybe it was there all a long but I have just started to acknowledge it over this past year. I still like women, so I have come to the conclusion that I am Bi. But even if a handsome man wanted me, I couldn’t act on it because I am married.
Hugs, Liara
A lot of interesting answers. I have never desired a man and I still do not. Happily married and thus could never go there anyway. That said I have developed a interest in crossdressing men. The thought of sharing myself with another. I think in my case it would lead to regret. Plus in my situation it would be cheating. Something I would never do.
Well, I am devoted to my wife and have no intentions of having any sort of intimacy with anyone else. It’s just not something that I would do. However, even if I wasn’t, I have no attraction to men whatsoever. I have had a few instances of men taking an interest in me, while being out dressed. I normally enjoy a good conversation. I sensed when it was turning into something else.
I dress because I like it. It allows me to feel complete and centered.
After reading some of the responses you have received on this subject I feel I am slightly outside the norm. I first started to deal with my bisexual thoughts when I tried on my first dress at age 14. It took what seemed like a life time to come to the conclusion that I was attracted to both sexes. When I accepted it as part of who I am it made being me a lot easier. So the answer would be yes. I am mostly attracted to other crossdressers like myself when I am dressed.
I’m not sure what came first. The urge to dress or the urge to have sexual encounters with anyone. Male or female that is.
I came to realize I really want both. My life however has centered around “normal” sexual relations w/ women and of course my SO. (Not for the last 3 plus years though!)
I had digressed, and I found I do like being with men. Not much but it’s happened and I wish (now) I had more and had done more when I was in a better situation to have done so.
Hi Cece, thanks for posting a great question!
This is one of those topics that I suspect we all may wonder about or struggle with, depending on where on the transgender spectrum we fall. For those of us who may be closer to the transexual end, these questions might seem very normal, as of course a woman wants to have a relationship with a man, so that makes perfect sense. For those of us who are closer to the crossdressing end, these thoughts and question may be somewhat confusing and conflicting. But I still believe they are fairly normal to experience.
Why?
Because inwardly we are women in so many ways. And when we dress we express that femininity outwardly as well. How we look, how we act, how we think, how we feel is all much more feminine than masculine, so of course those type of thoughts will come. Why wouldn’t they? We want to be seen and treated and accepted as women by the world, so by extension we want to be seen, treated, and accepted as women by men. Real men that is, not other crossdressers or trans sisters (although those type of thoughts may also cross our minds). This means that if we want to be accepted as women by men, then at some point we’re (probably) going to begin to wonder what it would be like to be in a relationship with a man. IMHO it’s normal to feel that way and have those thoughts, because that is part of the continuing development of our female personas. We’re continually striving to improve our feminine appearance, so even though we may not consciously be aware of it, we’re also continually striving to improve the woman we are so that we become the woman we want to be. That means all the feminine characteristics we have, and the ones we want to develop or emulate more fully are also being strengthened. So those feelings are totally and completely normal. And by the way, as we spend more and more time as women in our feminine personas, those feelings, questions, thoughts, desires will likely increase as we immerse ourselves more fully and completely in our roles and lives as women.
Now whether you act on those things or not, that’s a completely different topic! 😉 That depends on your personal situation, your marital situation, your personal beliefs and morals, etc.
Anyway, that’s my $.02 worth!
Hugs,
Holly
I consider myself heterosexual and find women so beautiful but in the past I have wondered what it would be like to be with a man. I generally don’t find men attractive but do like the thought of “the package”. More so lately I have fantasized about being with another cross dresser. Best of both worlds. But as I am married to the most wonderful woman any thoughts will remain just a fantasy. And if I had ever been in a position to transition I would have to be a lesbian.
Whenever I am dressed I consider myself an open-minded and predominantly heterosexual woman. It just feels right for me. I like being taken out for dinner by an attractive and well-educated man, go dancing with him, being offered flowers and cuddle with him. That said, I also love the company and intimacy with other cross dressers, trans women and of course also with cis women as girlfriends. I guess my openness in that sense makes me a pansexual woman. Love, mutual affection and lasting friendships, my dear sisters, have no boundaries – they are universal 🙂
I have to say I have no romantic interest in men. Putting on a dress or a skirt does not change who I am. Does your SO suddenly become interested in women when she puts on a pair of pants?
My main goal in appearing as a woman is so I can go out of the house dressed in women’s clothing without drawing undue attention. I may put on behaviors and mannerisms of a woman to lessen being read, but I don’t have any interest in becoming a woman.
Our group once had a ballroom dance lesson, and I was pared with another CDer. It felt very uncomfortable in my gut even though it was clearly just a lesson. Note that this isn’t a judgement of anybody’s lifestyle, just a reporting of my own reaction.
I am technically, a homosexual man. But as I get deeper into my femininity, I know I do not want to be intimate with a man or another girl like me AS a man. I want to be the woman in an intimate situation should it occur. I know some women like me dress for the arousal aspect, but it’s not all sexual for me. Dressing for me is a means to an end. It brings out my natural effeminate characteristics and I like who that girl is.
-
Up to 10 years ago I would have sworn I was a heterosexual crossdresser, but since that time have found my thoughts/desires changing and becoming more interested in other crossdressers and in men. I have often wondered why this change has happened and believe it is about acceptance. I’m married, my wife knows I crossdress, but isn’t supportive of it (more DADT). So I have no acceptance of this part of me at home and have found acceptance online through other crossdressers and sometimes nice men I chat with. That has led me to begin fantasizing about every aspect of being with them.
This has definitely been a journey of change. When I was younger, the thought of being with a man was nearly abhorrent. But after my marriage ended and I started dressing freely, that desire grew very quickly. And after a couple of failed attempts to date women, I finally went with it. It was very awkward at first. But now it a part of me and quite enjoyable. I would still be interested in women were they to show interest in me. But when I’m dressed, I enjoy being a woman in every sense.
-
For me, it may seem to others that things have changed for me, but they haven’t. It’s the environment around me that has changed. All my life, I have been attracted to feminine people, feminine clothes, etc. When I was younger, that meant girls. Now it means women and/or CDs and it means dressing as Jackie and becoming excited from that – but never from masculine men.
- The forum ‘General Chat “Life as it Goes On”’ is closed to new topics and replies.
Recent Comments