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Hey everyone, I’m Kayla and I’m new here at CDH. I’m 35, married and have been dressing on and off since I was about 6.
I think it was just innocent play at the younger ages, but as I got into the preteen years my closeted dressing started to take a turn towards a more risque look, emulating the type of girls i liked. I had always dated girls and as I grew a bit older, I stopped dressing by the time i entered high school as I got into some longer term relationships during those years.
After graduating HS and finding a bit more freedom I started dressing again around the age of 19 and I did actually have a long term fling with a guy I had met online. However, I still lived at home, I didn’t think that I’d be accepted at home if they knew, I was still dating girls, and TBH i just didn’t have the money or freedom to explore my desire to dress fully.
I married a girl at the age of 24 and put dressing behind me until about 3 years ago. By the age of 31/32 my financial situation had changed quite a bit, and between traveling for work and working from home I was able to find the time needed to dress behind closed doors.
Everything changed about 2 years ago when my wife confronted me with my bag of clothes, heels and a wig, Me, thinking that there was no other way to explain a size 10 pair of 6inch stilettos decided to just come clean right away. Its funny because she didn’t actually believe me at first. However, she was accepting almost right away, and with some time, has given me more support than i could have imagined.
Since then I’ve built up a wardrobe, purged, built it up again, and have been out to some bars by myself, completely made over 3 or 4 times.
Its a struggle on many levels, wife, kids, job, questioning my gender, not fulfilling the intimate urges that i feel when dressed. Yet I’ve started to just accept it and take it day by day. Its ok to want to dress and let that inner girl out, and when she doesn’t feel the need to be heard there is no reason question your ability to be a man.
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