- This topic has 12 replies, 13 voices, and was last updated 1 month ago by .
A few of you might remember me from about 2 days ago when I logged in and asked for some help. I forgot my login and have only just been able to log back in but I figured I’d still say hi.
So, some things about me: I’m 18 and very conflicted. I get really worried about how I feel and whether I really want to transition or not. Looking back on my life, the earliest sign of wanting to be a girl was during school when I auditioned for a play to play as Cinderella instead of a usual male character -I sadly didn’t get the part, although I did get the Prince so that’s always fun. I’m not sure if that was me wanting to be a girl because it wasn’t at all the desire to wear a dress or anything like that, I think I just wanted to play a girl for the fun of it.
The first time I REALLY thought about being a girl was a few years later. Everyone would have to be out playing sports in the freezing cold and I hated it. Not only did it seem so barbaric and brutal to me, I hated how the girls could get away with standing and talking with their friends whilst I- a male- was forced to play sports, expected to like it and mocked because I didn’t care about sport in the slightest. I vividly remember thinking “thing’s would be much better if I were a girl”.
As for fashion, I’ve never been super obsessed with girl’s fashion and I used to hate the idea of obscene amounts of makeup. I’m coming around to it now. That being said, I have always had a different fashion choice from others. When I started college, I would wear jumpers and jeans whilst everyone else was wearing track suit bottoms and other sporty outfits so I don’t know. Now, I wear slightly more trendy clothes but it’s never anything designer. Just plain t-shirts, jackets and general stuff that a girl could generally casually wear out in public.
As I’m writing this, I’m currently sat in college with my toenails painted -only painted in highlighter because that’s all I have to paint them with- and some women’s underwear on. Of a night, I try and sleep with a bra and wig on but can’t always do that because I don’t want my family to find out if I’m not sure about transitioning.
This next paragraph will go into a bit of sexual detail so please skip over it if you don’t want to read about it or it’s banned or something (if it’s banned I’m really sorry, please don’t ban me). That being said, I won’t go into tons of detail. Essentially, for a really long time, whenever I’ve been watching porn or any films with romance, I’ve always wanted to be the girl. Up until a few months ago I was straight and then I started to have these thoughts become more strong and now I think I’m bi. Again, I don’t want to go into tons of detail, for your sake more than mine, but everything about being a girl, in that aspect at least, seems so much better.
I’ve just ordered a new, better wig and some silicone breasts to make it seem as though I actually have breasts so I guess I’m beginning to take things further? Still really unsure though and constantly tempted to refund the order though. Essentially, the main things with me is that I don’t know what I want to do or who I am. I’m terrified I’m rushing things or that I’m going to slow with things or that I wouldn’t be pretty if I transitioned or that I’d regret transitioning entirely. Any help or advice would be really appreciated. Please feel free to DM me on here and ask about whatever you want
Sorry if my story has been super glum, just wanted to let anyone who stuck around to read all of this know my little story.
20 users thanked author for this post.
- You must be logged in to reply to this topic.