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Hello sweethearts…
When you are dressed, do you really care what others think?…or are you just the happy soul looking out, not caring?
As a girl that gets out and about, i feel I’m very picky about how i look, when out i need to be looking my best. But if i am indoors, just doing my thing, i’m very comfortable with little make up, but dressed. I dont see me, I’m on the inside looking out…and i really dont care because i feel content and happy, just being the girl is enough…its all to do with HOW I FEEL, sod the rest…
are you happy with your look???
When going “out,” I definitely care about what others think. I mean, for me, part of the whole thing about dressing is to see and be seen. So the insides match the outsides. I love to look good and have others notice.
But, yeah, around the house I’m pretty relaxed: a little make up and casual clothes is great. (And my heels are a little lower!)
-Stefani
I usually care about what others think. I think if anyone in public found out Im a “male in a dress” I wouldnt know what Id do out of embarrassment haha.
Jayla….
Standard answer….nobody wants to be outed xx
Only dress in private but aim to look as good as I’m able to. Just enjoy the sensation of seeing the other me. Same person but different in one. Different feeling comes over me when dressed fully.
Hard to explain but just feels good.
Honey…dont try to explain…
I know exactly what you mean…xx.
and welcome to CDH ❤️
Good question:
When I am dressed and out in public, I want to be seen and perceived as a woman first and, secondarily, as someone who prefers to identify as a woman even though I come from a male dominated gene pool. My ideal is to be out and about with as little associated drama as possible. Being recognized as “respectable” or simply someone that could be either/or but who cares, then I am a happy woman.
Mary….
Looking at your profile pic…you are something honey!!
Grace xx
Grace:
I hope that you mean that in a positive sense! LOL! Otherwise, its back to the drawing boards for fashion reconstruction.
Honey…
grace does say it like it is…
i love your pic, please do NOT reconstruct…
I’m sorry if i was a bit unclear….
Grace ❤️…
I think I have 3 modes of dressing. If there are no plans to go out it is just a comfortable house dress or top and leggings. Of course it still has to be presentable as I will go out on the front step for a smoke and will be visible to any passersby. No makeup but looking natural.
If I’m going grocery shopping or quick errand I want to be feminine but not attracting attention. Again top and leggings or modest dress, this time with light makeup. I’m just another housewife out shopping.
The third level is for serious shopping (clothes, what else!?) or dinner at a restaurant. Nice dress, probably shorter than my GG friends want me to wear. Hey, I have nice legs, I want to show them! Nylons, heels and good makeup.
I haven’t gotten to a fourth level yet. That would be for a bar, club or party. That will be a goal for being a complete woman. It will probably involve a make over with really good makeup, hair and an outfit totally inappropriate for my age. (Take that GG! Beth is not a conservative matron. She is HERE! Deal with it!)
👿💋❤
Beth
Beth.
You are so organised, i hate you,!!.
seriously, i love your input, keep teasing that neighbour….
Huggs, grace ❤️
Often after work, I will put on my wig, some lip moisturizer and my pajamas. Then I make a light dinner and relax with a cup of herbal tea. I just want to feel like my real self but relaxed and winding down from my day. On non-work days when I have the time, I want my makeup to be perfect. I usually hang around the house or just go out to run some errands. I want to be pretty, but just blend in.
Hi Grace
Good question
How do I really feel
When dressed I feel complete on the inside I’m Kelly Ann 24/7 on the outside it’s a couple of evenings a week and on the weekends
I l❤ve nothing more than expressing my true feminine feelings
I am who I am and accept who I am
Kelly Ann has been a part of me for over 40 years now
L❤ve
Kelly💋Ann
💋☘💋
Hi Sis xxx….
Lovely to see you in the forums…it doesn’t happen enough!!!
Huggs, grace xx
Gracious, darling…
When I was in the clutches of the nuns they told me that God sees, not just the front of things, not just the back of things but all around. God sees the undersides, the nooks and crannies, that little corner where ‘Fred’ the spider lives…
I learnt to be the best I could be at any moment of the day and to check all the undersides too!
So… going out; mostly extra care taken! The best makeup application and 24 hour lipstick, nails, jewellery et al.
Working at home; same care taken as going out though the makeup is slightly less intense and less jewellery
Chilling; sometimes just some mascara, some crème lippy and maybe a bangle and short necklace.Whatever the day, evening… I like to look my best and I like the compliments I get! So very healthy for me!
Affirmation… way to go! Love Polly 🌹🌷🌼🌺🌻🌸
always such bubbly replies from you my dear…and funny….
Polly and the Nun’s….. wasn’t that a sixties group?????
Smiles, grace x
On those rare occasions when I get to go out, even shopping, it’s full makeup, everything, while nine yards, all about looking good. More often if I’m working from home, I’ll dress but not do makeup, sometimes no wig, or at least a short one that stays out of my way while I work. I’ll dress either more casual/ comfortable, or business/office attire… after all, I’m at work. 😉 That’s just for me, and I’m less concerned how I look to… well, I’m usually the only one here at that point, unless my wife is home too. She’s cool with it.
Bridgette
Well, Grace, since you asked: When I go out, I want my hair and makeup to look right, my forms and padding in place, and my tops and bottoms to complement each other. Then, I just enjoy being a girl while hoping that I am passing. Around the house, it’s a ladies’ tee and jeans, leggings or skirt, according to my mood, no makeup and 2-3 licks with a hairbrush. (And I enjoy being a girl then, also).
Hugs,
BettylouWhat you said, Grace!
Out and about, I very much want to look at my best and am picky and critical of what I’m wearing and how I look – clothes, shoes, makeup, accessories, wig and the combination thereof.
When not going out, less so; I may skip the makeup altogether, put my slippers on and wear things I would be less inclined to wear outside. I’m definitely not an ‘all or nothing’ girl – but in all cases, I’m still Isabel.
Isabel x
Thanks Isabel….sometimes its relaxing as the girl that makes us happiest….i potter about my flat, not even realising what i have on at all…then pass a mirror…..
it just who we are xx
Hi Grace, I just feel like me, but without the constant nagging feeling that I should be wearing different clothes.
Also, freer, lighter, more interested in external things and people than any internal concerns. I feel so stuck in my head in drab.
Very light-headed en femme, able to just go with the flow, with a kind of fiery energy so different to the somewhat lethargic, chained feeling of drab.
Yet grounded in myself – I can be friendly, sassy, empathetic, flirty, witty, even – I really don’t know where that comes from, in drab I joke a lot to keep my own humour up, but no-one seems to find my jokes funny, which is kinda sad.
En femme, people seem laugh at the same tired jokes, out loud, like it’s the funniest thing they’ve heard… other people’s reactions are the best thing about CDing. Mostly, they’re more than fine with it – they love it, which is a constant delight.
So, married, male me is there all the time, but behind the scenes, ensuring that Laura doesn’t lead on the lovely girls who declare their love openly and wantonly, but keeps things decent and middle-class respectable.
All 4 elements properly represented, working in harmony and balance, the feminine and masculine in the correct proportions for me – that’s how I characterise being en femme. I am not a blokey bloke.
It’s a re-balancing of my self.
As to my look – I really love it, but there’s always room for improvement, and it’s fun to try different looks, like the Cleopatra look I had earlier this year. I could do something like that again. Or a Liz Hurley type look – she’s so gorgeous!
Love Laura
Hi Grace,
I so wanna go out in public as Katey and I will someday but for now I settle for at home Katey. I feel so lady like when I’m at home strutting around and doing my lady things. I feel so happy and natural. When I’m out in public Katey is still with me. I’m dressed under my male costume and I still feel lady even if I’m the only one that sees Katey.
Hugs Katey
Katey.
Firstly, i hope you are feeling better…
Secondly, you’re time will come…as long as you are a part of the ” girls club” here…we will get you feeling better and better…all you closetted girls…you probably dont feel it now, but you will eventually ” fly the nest”….this has given me an idea…look go the forums…love you katie.
Grace xx
I’ve had one long journey as a crossdresser. Started at 5 years old. Went out publicly about 15 years ago, while drunk. Looking back it was horrendous. I looked horrendous.
Now in 2021, I no longer drink booze. Am slimmer, and I wouldn’t go out if I didn’t look good. It’s important to look good whether you’re casual or professional in your clothes, shoes, make up.
How does it make me feel? When I am dressed I AM A WOMAN. I couldn’t do it any other way. That’s why I feel very confident when I’m out and about. Yes, there might be some who think I’m a guy, but they think that too about women who were born women. There was a case in the newspaper that a woman born a female was abused in the street for ‘being a crossdresser’ when she wasn’t. So, it’s really the people who shout the abuse who have the problem.
Hi Grace……..I am a girl in the closet and enjoy being a girl looking out………… If I should see my face in a mirror, I cringe like Count Dracula seeing a cross and run away!!! Other parts……….like legs……..pony tail…………shoulders……….that’s okay and get jazzed at seeing myself that way…………………k
Karley.
Love ponytails…swishing to and fro…very girly.
Huggs to delaware,….and you xx
Hi Grace, Don’t know how I missed this post yesterday, but better late than never I say.
So how do I really feel? Well I would be lying if I said I didn’t care at all what others perceive. There’s a small part of me that does care that I at least look presentable, the same way that I look presentable if I were going out in drab. When I go for my daily walks or to the grocery store, I always go for the natural, casual look. My clothes are clean, not torn, don’t smell peculiar, fit well, and have some sense of style to the outfit (not just a mish mash of stuff thrown on in the last minute). And that’s who I am whether in femme or drab mode.
While I do have some very lovely cocktail dresses that I can wear with my thigh highs and elegant evening dress sandals, I can’t imagine wearing them to the grocery store at 7:00 a.m. when I do my shopping. But it would be a blast doing that some time. Get all the old grocery store gals tongues wagging. Gee I might even apply some makeup (lightly though, don’t want to look like a trollop).
All the Best, Big Hugs, Krista
Krista.
I cannot imagine you wearing anything and not looking ” the lady”…i still have those pics you posted wearing the cowboy hat…still think they are dreamy….
Grace xx.
Edit….oh my goodness…it wasn’t JUST a cowboy hat!!!!…..phew, sorry honey xx
Cocktail hour at the grocery store Krista? Could be the start of a new trend….💃
I SO need their “store card” haha
Good evening Grace when Sarah is out she has to to be just so, fully adorned if not she isn’t happy. She loves to look the part at all times and loves to do so.
Love Sarah
xx
It is hard right now to know. I am fighting severe depression and when I dress it is hard because i feel it is not worth it and just give up. But i know on the inside there is that old woman looking to break free.
Signed
Someday
Oh Stevie,
I’m so sorry to hear that…i would hope that dressing will cheer you up…you mustn’t give in……
that ” old” woman needs to be seen…and heard, especially here!!.
grace xx
Grace,
My going out days ended 12 years ago, and for 11 of the subsequent years, there was no dressing at all. Now I can occasionally do a few things at home in private, and when I do the greatest sense of joy, peace, and serenity accompanies it. I know I look hideous externally — beard, obviously no makeup, fat, chest hair, etc, but when I’m just sitting there in feminine finery, with the long hair of my wig lightly brushing my shoulders and back, and I look down at my legs in tights under a skirt, I’m very very happy in those moments. The objective reality of my ugliness is immaterial in those moments.
God bless,
StephSteph…
you’re description of yourself means….nothing…
As i have already said…i dont see myself unless i look in a mirror…or a shop window. I am BEHIND my eyes, so it’s my “mind” that see’s grace most of the time…if you are happy in your mind, surely that is half the battle won!!!
best wishes, grace xx
Dearest Grace. I haven’t gone out since my first time in December. I could give you all my reasons why but it really doesn’t matter. Now that I have been dressing every day and finding my style, I know that when I do go out, I want people to notice. I want to turn heads. I want everything meticulously in place to make the women jealous that they didn’t dress as good as me.
At home the past few months, I have been dressing as nice as I can. I think about what I want to wear the next day at bedtime and I constantly rethink it the next morning until I don my femme attire. However, I haven’t shaved since my first time out in December. So, it’s a full beard and no makeup or wig. I feel absolutely fabulous just dressing without spending the extra hours on the neck up presentation. I even wear a ball cap to keep my long, wild covid hair under control (plus my wife like me in a cap).
It hasn’t bothered me about my neck up look. I know I will be getting back out there eventually. I just feel so wonderful wearing my female clothes and trying new things to see if they work for me. If I like what I see, I take a photo and put it in my public photos. A little more weight loss will get a few more outfits posted. But just being around my family in full femme from the neck down is such a glorious feeling for me.
I’ve been getting accessories and everything ready for getting out. I want everything to be just right. At home, I am dressed as if I am going out just for the sake of trying different outfits ,and such, without the fuss of makeup and hair. I can’t express enough how happy crossdressing has made me and I am itching to get out again soon.
Love you, Grace!!
Mika..
This whole thing we do is about ” what makes you feel good”….you are obviously very happy….which makes us all happy ….
Unlike the dreaded covid….. happy IS an infection we could all do with catching…
“even wear a ball cap to keep my long, wild covid hair under control “….
tell me about it!!!!….
big huggs Mika, grace ❤️❤️
“I” am not quite 3 months old so so much of this is new and exhilarating – enjoying firsts and anticipating “firsts” as well!
Had the house to myself one day last week & dressed without taking pics. It was such a freeing feeling. On a Zoom call, camera off, legs crossed while wearing a cute shirtsleeved blouse with a leather skirt, amazing silky stockings & sexy black heels. I felt like myself, and can’t wait to do it again.
It also drew me closer to realizing the need/desire to be and portray an attractive woman. I have the date set for my “coming out” and I can’t to hit the carpet as the real ME – Serena Stevens! 💋
I have three modes, more or less, for when I am out and away from the house. The first is what I refer to as my ‘hurry and get changed from work clothes”. This quick and simple outfit is usually ladies jeans, or shorts depending on the weather, a simple blouse over cotton bra and panties and sandals or white slip-on tennies. This outfit is for when I have had a stressful night at work. Most of you girls know I work hospital security, and as we are a smallish town out on the Texas plains, I know or am at least familiar with a lot of people, and when we lose one, it hits hard sometimes. Especially the kids. Those after-mornings I don’t go anywhere after work, just straight home to think about their passing or perilous condition. It is two miles from my parking space at the hospital to my driveway, so it is not long before I am changing and getting the stress away and settling myself if it was a really bad night. So this is what I wear to be alone with myself, to beat the bad emotions, to dance and remember other passing’s. A good cry wins out every time, then it’s time to dance and celebrate the memories.
Daily wear to be out and about in is casual/semi dressy. Slacks and blouse sets, because it is usually windy here, nice shoes, jacket or sweater depending on the season, light makeup, everything matching and usually my longest wig (almost down to my shoulder blades). This is how I usually go out to run errands, and shop, hit the resale and consignment shops in the neighboring towns.
Then I have my classy look. Skirt and blouse outfits (all lengths of skirts), appropriate shoes and accessories, for a night out for dinner or some special occasion.
Since I was about thirty, I have no longer tried to hide that I am not a GG. Accept me as I am and maybe get to know me, or not accept me and move along all the poorer. I don’t go looking for confrontation, and try to ignore it as long as possible, (please see some of my other threads for my reaction when I am not allowed to ignore them).
I do like mostly cotton or natural fabric for my clothing, but I do have some shimmery things too. I do much prefer casual but nice clothing that is not constricting as I do like to dance if it is feasable for the functions I may be out attending.
PaulaF
PS. Dancing to someone’s memory is usually a figurative expression, but illustrates my approach to handling that kind of stress. The music though, is essential.
What a wonderful post…thank you xx
As I’m learning more about myself, the more picky I’m starting to be when I want to dress. I only go one place currently when dressed and they could care less how I look. But to me if I am in Tonya mode I wasn’t to look abs feel as Tonya… I want to be 100% sure as little masculinity is showing as possible… I want my hair done, my nails done (toes included even if they are hidden…) I can’t do my own makeup yet but and my hair is still sub par.. but mainly I want to look as beautiful on the outside as I feel on the inside.
Grace i echo your sentiments on the topic. I try take the time to look my best, and feel content with what I can be in my day to day. The reason I am a full time crossdresser is because I enjoy being one. Living like a woman is what makes me feel good inside, in spite of all of the challenges.
Danielle….thanks…
….and aren’t there some challenges???, but isn’t that what makes it so wonderful x
How do I feel when dressed?
Like a huge weight has been lifted, free and light, no one knows Paula or has any expectations of her.
I can be dressed in anything, when the fog rolls in and Paula emerges, the world looks brighter, happier, less hurried.
I am sitting at work (had to be in 2 hours early to teach a class on Midnoght shift, and no one showed up for class) with my black dress shirt and black pants reading the forums, and am in full Paula feeling.
Women are female in everything they wear so why not hold onto the best part of Paula even in Drab.
Have a wonderful day beautiful ladies.
Paula
Smiles….its not witchcraft….???.
i think we dress for a certain amount of time….and we reach that ” level”….we are all thinking alike ..spooky???……keep climbing those mountains girl xx
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