• This topic has 26 replies, 4 voices, and was last updated 3 years ago by Anonymous.
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    • #40055

      I’m having the worst time accepting myself I know I need too because the feeling of dressing up dosent go away I’ve done it since I was a kid my parents told me to stop because it’s not right I tried I ended up getting married and love my wife dearly then she found out I was a cd so we seperated again I blame myslef because of Crossdressing how do I come to accept myslef

    • #40056
      Rose
      Lady

      Hi Madison, and welcome to CDH. I’m afraid I don’t have much advice to offer you, but I suspect one of the other lovely ladies around here will have some insights you’ll find useful.

      • #40059

        Awwwww thanks for the response seeetheart

    • #40057
      Krisy
      Lady

      Talk about it, I don’t know where i would be if I didn’t get over my preconceptions about counselling, it has helped me so much.

       

      Krisy

      • #40060

        Yea I guess I’m gonna have to see somebody for it thank u babe

    • #40061
      Anonymous

      MADISON YOU ARE WHO YOU ARE — IT IS SO HARD THAT WIFE DID NOT ACCEPT YOU I HOPE YOU BOTH SAT DOWN TALKED ABOUT IT GOT INFO ABOUT CD WE ARE NOT PERVERTS. WE ARE THE SAME LOVING PERSON PANTS R DRESS . WE ALL HAVE DIFFERENT STORIES ,HOW, WHEN ,WHERE,THERE IS NEVER A WHY WE CANT BE A CD. ITS BECAUSE WE ARE. MY WIFE LOVED ME AND WAS OK W/ME CD SHE HAS DIED AND I HAVE 4KIDS THAT ALSO ACCEPT ME AS CD AND MY BEAT FRIEND/& WIFE OF OVER 50YRS ACCEPT ME AND THATS A LOT OF STORIES TO TELL. MAYBE YOU AND WIFE CAN WORK IT OUT IF YOU REALLY LOVE EACH OTHER. PLEASE TRY IF POSSIBLE. ALL THE CD GIRLS HERE ARE SO NICE SO JOIN IN THE CHATS LET YOUR HAIR DOWN AND BE ONE OF THE GIRS HUGS JENNIFER1CD

    • #40066
      Anonymous

      The hardest part Madison is learning to accept the fact that this is who we are and cant be changed. Everyone has gone through denial and purging but always return to it. You have to learn to live around it with family and work but learn to enjoy it in a safe place cause there is no other way. Psychologist realize that gay ppl cant be converted and now learning neither can we. I have learned to accept and now so  enjoy the girlie part of me with no regrets

    • #40121
      Lynn
      Lady

      Hi Madison, it’s not your fault that you want and need to cross dress and it doesn’t define your sexuality either. It’s who we are. My first wife couldn’t except my cross-dressing but my current wife does except it and encourages me to wear panties, bras or anything I want to wear on any given day. So don’t blame yourself or the need to cross dress because it’s really not your fault . Hope to talk to you soon. Lynn

    • #40141

      Hello Madison, Welcome to CDH . You can’t blame yourself that your a CD. I, Have be a CD moist of my life on and off due to the fact I was married and also divorced and widowed. The reason of the divorces was part of my dressing as this is built in in to us. I, repressed the urge to dress over many years and have purged many times also it was therapy that helped me in many ways I had to move in with my Mom to help her due to the fact she was ill and hid my dressing during the the time she was ill after her passing and therapy I found that I was doing nothing wrong and also Found out I was repressing that I was Bi /gay which was hidden inside of me also. So, I suggest if your feelings are confused please Seek Professional Therapy and help you understand you are not doing nothing wrong . Good Luck.
      Hugs,
      Stacey s

    • #40155
      Anonymous

      Hello Madison i feel the same way too and i am torn up inside at times i well. I use to crossdress when i was teenager when my parents were out of town. I stopped because i went to a military collage where his is not a widely accepted practice. I then went into the military and got happly married. Recently i feel the urge to cross-dress again, this could be do the incresse stresses in my life. Cross dressing was a sort of a coping technique i used to get my self through HS. Now i find i am doing it again. My wife doesn’t know and i do went she gone or weeks for work. So i understand your struggle.

    • #40164
      Anonymous

      Dear Madison, take it from someone who’s been down this road. I’ve been dressing since I was 11 and fought myself for years. I suffered bouts of depression and contimplated suicide more than once. I want you to go to your family doctor and tell them what’s going on. They will send you to a therapist or psychologist and trust me this helps just to talk to someone who is not judgemental and they will probably get you in with a support group. This helps greatly to as you can see your not the only person in the world like this but the most important thing you have to do is accept who you are. You are not dirty or a pervert or a freak or any of those good names we get called. You are a loving, caring human being and this is what you are, it doesn’t go away, I honestly believe it’s hard wired into us just like everything else that  makes us all individuals. So as Deb says accept it and learn to enjoy it. I actually now look at it as a blessing because I now not only see things from a man’s point of view but also from a woman’s stand point, trust me it can help. I’ve sent you a friend request and I want you to talk to me, as I said Ive been down this road.

      Take care, your new friend, Heather.

    • #40198

      Madison,

      There comes a time when professional  help is needed. Therapy with someone who specialises  in Gender issues is a great start. When you understand who you are, you can then accept  yourself as the beautiful person  you are. My therapist helped to open numerous doors for me over time .

      Cookie  ☺

    • #40343
      Anonymous

      Madison my Dear, you & I are very similar,my mother knew only because she caught me, but be true to yourself, my wife knows & has for 3 yrs out of 21 being together, she was ok with it but now it has caused us issues, I told her its not a light switch you can just turn off, cause I have tried, I love women & being with women but I also love dressing as one !!I think it the highest form of flattery we could give them. However thay just dont understand what we feel with it & how if they embraced it , it would keep us close together. Also I to have asked why me for years,

    • #40426
      Anonymous

      Hi Madison and welcome to CDH.

       

      Rachel

    • #40432

      Hi sweetie, I completely understand, some people can’t seem to handle what people wear. The only reason they think it hurts them is because they can’t except it. They think it’s wrong and try and make you feel the same. I felt shamed for years but the only reason I hide myself today is to spear the fragile feelings of loved ones , so I don’t flaunt it. At the same time I couldn’t and shouldn’t stop although I tried time and again. Oh the Wardrobe I would have if not for all the purging. Take time for yourself, I go get a room for the weekend or something and have a girls weekend to myself. If someone finds out that’s the time to tell them it’s your business what you do with your personal time , you are the same person they say they love and if they can’t expect that then It’s they that must make a change. For you are the person you have always been and you can’t change who you are anymore than they can. Hope this helps. Much love and blessings, Michelle 💋

    • #42916
      Anonymous

      Madison,

      I just joined CDH this week; like you I am essentially closeted and felt alone with respects to my preference to wear pretty things💁🏻.  The CDH community has been a wonderful way to share my preferences with others just like me!!!

      I hope you are having a similar experience and are hopefully less blue than when you posted your introduction.  The girls her are awesome!!

      Kim❤️💋

    • #42917
      Anonymous

      Madison,

      I just joined CDH this week; like you I am essentially closeted and felt alone with respects to my preference to wear pretty things💁🏻.  The CDH community has been a wonderful way to share my preferences with others just like me!!!

      I hope you are having a similar experience and are hopefully less blue than when you posted your introduction.  The girls her are awesome!!

      Kim❤️💋

    • #42928
      Anonymous

      Hello Madison I am sorry you and your wife are seperated. You are the same person ,dressed male or female. Your hopes, dreams,love are all the same.A life to live a person to love,you are who you are.Its the life you live,and the road you travel.Did you love her any less, i think not. There is so much information out there about being CD,too bad she has not read up on it.I had a wonderful wife she set the rules for my dressing, bought things for me.We had 4 children,I never dressed in front of them. But she has passed on, after 38 yrs married. Now my 4 kids know i dress and they are fine with it.Two of my daughters have been on this site chatting with the girls.They had fun. I have gone out now to CD meetings and parties. I am so happy to be out dressed with people like me face to face,its like a new world for me.Am i a different person, well i am still learning how to look good and dress nice. Thank GOD my daughters help me.So take it one day at a time, do the best you can ,be happy be all the girl you can.Hope we can chat many times .HUGS JENNIFER1 and i am 78 yrs old and i love being a CD

    • #42937
      Jennifer
      Lady

      Hi Madison! Accepting ourselves seems to be the hardest part. Others will or won’t, we just have to be honest with ourselves and with those we tell. I think we’ve all struggled with this. My first marriage years ago was in part brought down by my crossdressing. My ex-wife never could deal with it. I was shamed out of it for a time, but the feelings never left. I realize now that it’s just a part of who I am. I’m just now (after 30 years of crossdressing) being completely honest with myself. I like to engage my femme side and always will. It’s exhausting fighting yourself. I agree with some of the others though, if you still have a lot of questions then a counselor can help you work through things, especially one well versed in gender identity issues. We’re here for you!

      Hugs!

      Jennifer

    • #42941

      Hi Madison, Welcome to CDH ! I have seen your plight and have been there myself Purging and Re stocking and it can be very expensive. I, myself it took me to accept me as a Crossdresser.
      And Bi thankfully I found a great therapist and finally accepted myself and have found a new meaning and enjoy my feminine self. I know I will never change or will it go away. So My friend there have been others who have struggled and found acceptance also. Your with people that care so listen, educate yourself and find a Good Therapist.

      Hugs,
      Stacey s

    • #42991
      Patty Phose
      Duchess

      There seems to be so many dealing with and wrestling with this problem. I’ve seen instances where wives liked it and have fun with it, to a total breakup. My wife is one who likes it and wants me to dress. We both enjoy it and have fun with it.

      I love cross dressing. It’s fun and play for me. It’s also escape. When I become Patty, it’s like my real life stresses. anxieties and problems go away. I’m relaxed and enjoying myself. Still, as much as enjoy cross dressing and being Patty,  it’s something I feel I don’t actually need. Sure, I would miss it, much like I would miss a favorite food if I couldn’t eat it anymore but I could do without it if I had to.

      I hope and pray for those who can’t that you can get your issues worked out and find peace, happiness and acceptance.

    • #43021
      Anonymous

      Madison,

      acceptance is what we yurn for by what is deemed proper society & tha status quo, there is more to accepting being a crossdresser, it is about emotional connections , understanding, compassion , to name a few, knowing who you are as not only your male self but your Female self as well, & what makes them Whole together,, Do not struggle with the conflict as I have over the years. If you make the choice to do it then no else has judgment over that, if you make the choice to stay behind doors & dress, let no one push you to “go out”, if you choose to dress & go out let no one “push” you back inside. “BE” what makes Madison who she is !!! You accept nothing less !!

       

      Traylia,, 💋💋

    • #374963
      Anonymous

      Ive been doing it for 47 years. Sometimes when I think Ive gone to far it scares me. We still have testosterone telling us to do something else. Sometimes I still don’t except myself. So its easy to understand why others don’t.  Good luck, I hope you have more than I.

    • #374971

      Welcome Madison!

    • #375233

      Hi Madison,

      Welcome to CDH.

      Alice

    • #375235
      Anonymous

      Hi Madison welcome to CDH it’s nice to meet you x I’ve been crossdressing on and off for nearly 60 years and one thing I’ve found is it never leaves you, you may stop now and again but the pink mist always returns, we just have to accept that it will always be in our hearts and minds that we will always be cross-dresser’s no matter what xxxxx hugs Rozalyne x

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