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Hi there,
It seems that most of you have different persona’s, including a different name. I’m not sure I would like that.
Whatever I’m wearing, male or female clothes, and how I’m feeling gender-wise, that all doesn’t change who I am, right? The thing is, I have fun dressing like a girl, and, although my first real crossdressing experience was in my early 20s, from childhood on, I’ve always, kind of desired, that I was born as a girl.
Looking back at it, the feeling probably came from my own unhappiness with my looks. It always seemed so easy to be a girl, to be you..
You, you look so beautiful and there I was, an average joe in school that nobody would look at, twice.. Of course I know, now, that this perception is all in my head and since then I’ve really started to accept myself. Can you imagine?
Now, I’m done with the sadness.
I’m happily together with the love of my life. Someone that I would fight for. She is the one that accepts so much of me, already. But she doesn’t know about this side of me that feels like ‘Hi, I’m not sure’. Sometimes my life feels like a lie, and sometimes it feels meant to be. But how can you explain anything to someone if you, yourself, does not truly understand ‘what’ there is to explain?
Hoping to find some answers here I guess. After all, we are probably all struggling one way or another. So, may we all struggle together and less as an individual.
Yours,
MaltWhisky
Hello Sister, I guess I was lucky in a way as it was mine wife who first got me into women clothes, but we kept it a secret, a part we did not share with our children or the world. When she passed I went public with the family and my close friends, and for me it was a great weight lifted from on top of me. I can hope that someday that weight will be lifted from you as well. Bless you Sister.
Thank you, Paulette, for these really kind words, en natuurlijk voor het welkom heten! <3
Michelle, thank you as well for sharing that personal story. 🙂
Hallo en welkom van Paulette! That was one of the most heartfelt introductions I read in a very long while, and what is significant about it is you pretty much summed up what most of us have experienced over the years. I think you will find this to be a very welcoming and loving place to share your cares and concerns. I know you are apprehensive about the journey on which you have embarked, but I have learned with the passing of time that the older I get the less I really care what others think (short of family). And yes, it is an awkward and delicate matter to want to reveal the ‘true’ you to your loved ones. In fact you will discover it is the MAJOR issue facing many of the girls here at CDH. This is followed closely by the fear of not “passing”. As I am sure you are aware, there is no universal solution to your dilemma. However, I have learned that by taking ‘baby steps’ and ‘testing the water’ at each step, it is sometimes possible to reveal yourself with a minimum of conflict. I look forward to hearing how you are progressing in your journey! Hugs, Paulette
Hi. For me I am sure that I want to be a woman. It’s something I have always wanted. I use Susan on this site because that is really who I am and want to be. Sadly I was born a guy and that is how I will go in the ground when I take my dirt nap. Yet I still want to live my life to its fullest and be Susan as much as possible. I know I was blessed 3 years ago to meet my fiancée she is very accepting and welcoming of Susan. I need to be Susan but I need the love of my life so I blend it all in.
Enjoy being with the love of your life. Embrace her and don’t let go and hopefully you can blend in your feminine side too.
Susan.
In1965 when I was 7 I was in love with my best friend . I would have been his boyfriend or girlfriend . I liked to be the girl and loved him so much. I fought myself for most all my life never taking time to learn who I was. Now living 24 7 as Tamara I love myself and found happyness that I never felt until now. I’ve found a good man to be with I’m so thankful I hope to be his wife.❤️
Recently I came across the book ‘The Joy of Sex’ by the famous author Dr. Alex Comfort published in 1976 and updated for the 21th century. I started reading it, discovering a piece about transvestitism and crossdressing as well. I find this particular piece quite interesting, I’ll quote;
“Many people enjoy dressing in each other’s clothes on occasion for the hell of it. That isn’t transvestitism. A transvestite is a person who, while staying fully in his or her own sex role, feels an intense compulsion at times to dress the opposite sex role, and an intense release of anxiety (not so much a kick) when they do so.
They are not ‘homosexual’, and a bisexual person who dresses the opposite sex to please a partner isn’t a transvestite.”The author continues explaining the difference between transsexual and transvestitism and then explains the importance of an accepting partner. Since then, that really stuck with me. It has both led to me exploring my feminine side more often and at the same time let me realize that the only option is to share your feelings with your partner.
“A transsexual is a person, usually male, who actively wants to turn into a person of the other sex, by surgery if necessary, and feels totally miscast as they are.
In simpler societies there are roles or ceremonies which discharge these needs (e.g. wizards often crossdress). In our society they can cause intense anxiety.
A transvestite with an informed and unscared partner usually finds that his compulsion,
whatever its cause, doesn’t spoil his sex life in the male role
(if he has to keep it secret or she thinks he’s queer or crazy, which he isn’t, he can get really sick from worry); a transsexual needs expert help and may or may not be happier for a sex-change operation.
A lot of unhappiness could be avoided if people knew the facts to the point of not being scared or shocked if they come across them. […]”The reason I’m sharing this quote is, because it has really put this whole thing into high gear. I first told a close friend of mine I like to crossdress, and asked him if he would be okay if I did it when we were together.
I remember how it felt, vividly. For years this was something I’ve never ever told anybody, been super careful not to slip up and get caught and never wore anything outside the house, even though I wanted it badly.
I remember that time went very slowly as I walked down the stairs to the room my friend (who is a guy) was in. In a few steps I will be fully seen, dressed as the opposite sex. I remember he looked up, chuckled once or twice – which did scare the death out of me – then sort of got used to it, and we had a ‘normal’ guy’s night, laughing and talking. And boy, it felt amazing to do that.
This was only a few months ago and I even got the nerves to take a walk and drive outside, although only at night. I’m thankful for all your stories, it’s really comforting and I feel safe here, thank you all.
The two issues when you come out to your significant other, first is the crossdressing the second is the keeping it a secret.
Crossdressing is wired into us girls, there are many stories of quitting, purging all the wardrobe just to start again in 6 months, or a year or 2.
The secret leads to trust issues with our SO, their thought is, if you have kept it secret for xx years what other secrets do you have?
Zenn
Well we are glad to have you here take a look around the site and join in and welcome to the site
And hi Miss Whiskey nice to meet you and so happy you found and joined us girls here so get settled in relax and enjoy yourself here.. As a new sister and family member you are welcomed with open arms into our home as well as yours now also.. There is such a wealth of knowledge here to access and learn from so explore around and ask many questions and read the forums and posts from many ladies here.. They are telling there stories about there femme travels down there road in life.. So when you are comfortable with us please join in with a story or two about the life and times of Malt as she makes her journey thru her girly path in life .. As for making friends here there are so many ladies from all over the world to build long lasting friendships with and girl we all are just a click away .. Myself here in NE Montana USA just a little ways away from you he he .. Again girlfriend nice meeting you and hope to see you around for a chat sometime soon..
Stephanie Bass
Welcome, Malt. I wish you all the best in finding the answers you seek.
Hello MW,
Welcome to our amazing CrossDresserHeaven (CDH) site. So glad you have joined us here. Feel free to explore all that our site has to offer.
The Warmth, Compaasion and Hospitality of our community members can be found throughout the site.
Please do make use of the forums and articles or public chat room and friendships offered here on CrosDresser Heaven.
At any Membership level, You can contact any of us via [ PM ] Private Messages. You can find that link on each member’s Wall under their Profile picture.
Also, you may find what you need such as Help Center or Ambassadors by using the links in the top R/H drop down 3 bar [ hamburger ] menu.
Here is a good link to review the membership levels and the privledges for each. Such as Private Chat, Groups, etc.
Regards,
Terri Anne, Ambassador
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