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  • #567778
    Toni Hill
    Participant
    Registered On: October 28, 2021
    Topics: 1
    Replies: 4
    Has thanked: 14 times
    Been thanked: 32 times

    First of all I’d like to say how glad I was to come across this obviously popular site recently.  To  read of so many other brave ladies journeys into discovery and self acceptance gives me hope of being amongst a community of like minded understanding people who I could relate to and share my thoughts.

    I really am I guess a little confused where I sit on the gender spectrum. I have not at at this point spoken to a therapist however I have strong desire to transition it occupies my thoughts constantly. I read and research all I can on this topic. For the past few years though I tell myself I’m non binary however I present as male although a feminine male . My biggest fear is the loss of my wife and family at coming out. I feel certain this would happen were i to be out there and present as female. For quite a long time now I have taken low dose phytoestrogens which helps to cope with the dysphoria . Although the change has been subtle I have felt more femme emotionally and noticed some small physical changes.

    I started cross dressing discreetly years ago trying on my wife’s clothes and absolutely loved the way I felt wearing them. I have done this ever since however have my own clothes now. I often go about my day wearing panties and a camisole or leggings ( if it’s cold)  under my work clothes which is a wonderful feeling. When I can I get away fishing or camping alone and dress the entire time as female ( in a Tom boyish sort of way) . I love these times alone when I at last feel I can be my true self and wish so much I didn’t have to hide it.
    Bye for now,

    Toni

Viewing 12 reply threads
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    Replies
    • #574196
      Stephanie Bass
      Princess - Annual
      Registered On: November 30, 2019
      Topics: 16
      Replies: 2580
      Has thanked: 34930 times
      Been thanked: 8905 times

      Hi Toni nice to meet you and so happy you found and joined us girls here on the best CD site on the internet so get settled in relax and enjoy yourself here.. As a new sister and family member you are welcomed with open arms into our home as well as yours now also .. Such a wonderful intro to read and yes here there are many ladies to answer your questions and give advice on everything you have questions to .. Please read the forums and posts from many ladies here telling there stories and asking questions them selves .. There is nothing to be affraid of here as we dont bite  well some girls do be careful ( ha ha) just kidding .. Hugs new sister and again nice to meet you and hope to see you around for a chat sometime..

      Stephanie Bass

      1 user thanked author for this post.
    • #573661
      Raquel Smith
      Lady
      Registered On: August 26, 2021
      Topics: 8
      Replies: 500
      Has thanked: 1427 times
      Been thanked: 1630 times

      Hi Toni.  Welcome to CDH.

      Much love,

      Raquel

      2 users thanked author for this post.
    • #573533
      Terri Anne
      Ambassador
      Registered On: February 7, 2018
      Topics: 32
      Replies: 734
      Has thanked: 1328 times
      Been thanked: 1545 times

      Hi Toni,

      Welcome to our amazing site. So glad you have joined us here. Feel free to explore all that our site has to offer.

      The Warmth, Compaasion and Hospitality of our community members can be found throughout the site.

      Please do make use of the forums and articles or public chat room and friendships offered here on CrossDresser Heaven.

      At any Membership level, You can contact any of us via [ PM ] Private Messages.  You can find that link on each member’s Wall under their Profile picture.

      Also, you may find what you need such as Help Center or Ambassadors by using the links in the top R/H drop down 3 bar [ hamburger ] menu.

      Here is a good link to review the membership levels and the privledges for each. Such as Private Chat, Groups, etc.

      https://www.crossdresserheaven.com/membership-account/membership-levels/

      Regards,

      Terri Anne, Ambassador

      2 users thanked author for this post.
    • #568314
      Alice Underwire
      Lady
      Registered On: September 16, 2019
      Topics: 90
      Replies: 4527
      Has thanked: 6398 times
      Been thanked: 11099 times

      Hi Tom,

      Welcome to CDH.  Enjoy reading the posts and exploring the site.

      Alice

      2 users thanked author for this post.
    • #567932
      Dani Grand
      Baroness
      Registered On: October 9, 2018
      Topics: 1
      Replies: 107
      Has thanked: 542 times
      Been thanked: 397 times

      Welcome to the family Toni!

      3 users thanked author for this post.
    • #567887
      Stephanie Flowers
      Ambassador
      Registered On: June 26, 2017
      Topics: 31
      Replies: 5660
      Has thanked: 10638 times
      Been thanked: 10887 times

      Toni welcome, happy to have you join with us. Certainly a place to discover cross dressing and learn if there really is more to this.  Even though not having any one knowing about this especially family having us to truly enjoy our passions for dressing is a beautiful thing. Our ladies here are fabulous in helping out, from advice to tips on improving ones self to the emotional feelings we are experiencing .Make friendships and feel free to contact us if there’s anything that you may need. Happy to meet you and enjoy being part of a community that cares.

       

      Stephanie 🌹

       

       

      3 users thanked author for this post.
      • #568324
        Toni Hill
        Lady
        Registered On: October 28, 2021
        Topics: 1
        Replies: 4
        Has thanked: 14 times
        Been thanked: 32 times

        Thank you so much for those kind words Stephanie. Already I can see there are so many wonderful ladies here offering encouragement and support. I look forward to hopefully fitting in and making friends with those  in this community.

        Toni

        2 users thanked author for this post.
    • #567810
      Lara Tucker
      Lady
      Registered On: September 29, 2021
      Topics: 1
      Replies: 186
      Has thanked: 3719 times
      Been thanked: 806 times

      Hi Toni
      Welcome to CDH!
      I’ve found this to be a helpful place with many like minded people. Hope you find that too!
      Lara

      3 users thanked author for this post.
    • #567809
      Julie (Jules) Anderson
      Duchess
      Registered On: February 9, 2021
      Topics: 3
      Replies: 131
      Has thanked: 177 times
      Been thanked: 617 times

      Wow, thanks for sharing your story, one very common to many of us here on CDH. You’ll find lots of support and information here as well.
      Personally, I’d make it a high priority to find a good counselor versed in transgender issues, especially when there are loved ones to consider, especially your wife. A good counselor will help YOU find your authentic self and help you pick the best path to live that authentic life.
      Hugs
      Jules

      3 users thanked author for this post.
      • #567811
        Toni Hill
        Lady
        Registered On: October 28, 2021
        Topics: 1
        Replies: 4
        Has thanked: 14 times
        Been thanked: 32 times

        Thanks so much Jules and yes I know your right with that advice. I had tried a while ago now to make an appointment to consult with a gender therapist but due  to my fairly isolated location and limitations during the pandemic it was difficult. I must make another concerted effort.
        I have never spoken to anyone other than now on this site so at least it’s a small step in the right direction.
        Oh how I wish to find the path to follow to live as I feel inside.

        2 users thanked author for this post.
        • #568312
          Julie (Jules) Anderson
          Duchess
          Registered On: February 9, 2021
          Topics: 3
          Replies: 131
          Has thanked: 177 times
          Been thanked: 617 times

          You are so welcome Toni.
          A good counselor, besides someone to help you find your authentic self, will be some one you can talk to who will provide a non-judgmental ear.
          With Covid, almost any good counselor will provide zoom meetings. I’ve done that during Covid, and I worked well.
          That way, you can connect with a counselor anywhere, with distance not being an issue. My counselor has been a wonderful help to me, providing validation to me.
          I wish you the best, girlfriend!
          Hugs
          Jules
          🥰🌈👩

          2 users thanked author for this post.
          • #568336
            Toni Hill
            Lady
            Registered On: October 28, 2021
            Topics: 1
            Replies: 4
            Has thanked: 14 times
            Been thanked: 32 times

            Oh Jules, that’s so good to hear how helpful your counselor has been to you especially in providing validation.
            The therapist I thought I’d like to see did offer a zoom consultation but never having used that means of consultation/ meeting and that I’m not that tech savvy I shied away from it. It did concern me that to not have a face to face meeting when discussing matters so important to me may somehow lose its sense my conveying how I feel .
            I’m glad to hear your thoughts though and may very well try and persue that way of seeking some help.
            Warmest regards

            Toni

            1 user thanked author for this post.
          • #568366
            Julie (Jules) Anderson
            Duchess
            Registered On: February 9, 2021
            Topics: 3
            Replies: 131
            Has thanked: 177 times
            Been thanked: 617 times

            Hi Toni,
            actually the zoom was pretty straightforward. You simply down load the app and follow the instructions. You just need a laptop or PC with a camera and microphone. Of course an iPhone would work in a pinch. The counselor or there office people will help as well. And actually, it was almost as good as in person for me.
            Hugs
            Jules

            1 user thanked author for this post.
    • #567808
      Glenn Simons
      Lady
      Registered On: October 19, 2021
      Topics: 1
      Replies: 3
      Has thanked: 0 times
      Been thanked: 17 times

      Don’t hide it. It feels better.

      3 users thanked author for this post.
    • #567807
      Anonymous
      Topics: 0
      Replies: 0
      Has thanked: 0 times
      Been thanked: 0 times

      Hello Toni, and welcome to CDH! This group has been helpfull to me, and I hope it will be for you. You hang in there!
      👠Kendra

      3 users thanked author for this post.
      • #567812
        Toni Hill
        Lady
        Registered On: October 28, 2021
        Topics: 1
        Replies: 4
        Has thanked: 14 times
        Been thanked: 32 times

        Thanks Kendra for those encouraging words. So good to know there is support on a site such as this.

        3 users thanked author for this post.
    • #567797
      Amy Myers
      Baroness
      Registered On: February 11, 2019
      Topics: 20
      Replies: 1590
      Has thanked: 4540 times
      Been thanked: 4959 times

      Welcome to CDH Toni! I think you will find you have come to the right place. There are so many here, and at all sorts of stages in their lives.

      Explore and enjoy getting to know us!

      Amy

      3 users thanked author for this post.
    • #567794
      Stephanie Green
      Lady
      Registered On: October 30, 2021
      Topics: 2
      Replies: 44
      Has thanked: 50 times
      Been thanked: 204 times

      Welcome to CDH, Toni.

      3 users thanked author for this post.
    • #567783
      Liara Wolfe
      Lady
      Registered On: August 14, 2021
      Topics: 3
      Replies: 779
      Has thanked: 1321 times
      Been thanked: 2891 times

      Welcome to CDH.

      Hugs, Liara

      3 users thanked author for this post.
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