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  • #397626
    Vanity Fair
    Participant
    Registered On: November 1, 2019
    Topics: 10
    Replies: 14
    Has thanked: 330 times
    Been thanked: 279 times

    I love Crossdressing and I usually spend hours looking at different cross dressing websites. My wife does not know this side of me and I hope she never finds out. I try and hide my internet history as best as I can. Any tricks I need to be mindful of? Any help would be appreciated… My CD addiction is growing everyday…

    9 users thanked author for this post.
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    • #398024
      Mae
      Participant
      Registered On: January 14, 2019
      Topics: 6
      Replies: 215
      Has thanked: 146 times
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      Hi Doll; I’m a Crossdressing Closet Girl so I’m not sure I should be adding my two cents but … Like someone already commented, “ it’s the 21st Century just assume your being watched, your data is tracked” having said that; I use ‘Incognito’ be advised they give you warning ⚠️ there’s limits to the Incognito protection. I’ve read multiple times from other Crossdressers their tale of woe, having purged the wardrobe and accessories only to restart. I’ve just recently started my 3rd year. I actually thought it was a temporary fling rather an on going personality change. There’s no one more surprised than me, I’m 100% sure if that. I’ve learned so much in a relatively short time. I don’t have the childhood or teenage experience that so many others have shared. But I must admit, sometimes I find myself ‘Clawing my Closet door’ to interact in public as my femme persona. But unless I’m outted, I’m content to use Incognito and try to monitor myself. There’s always a history in the computer world.

      3 users thanked author for this post.
    • #397958
      DeeAnn Hopings
      Participant
      Registered On: November 10, 2019
      Topics: 11
      Replies: 671
      Has thanked: 9 times
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      either of

      delete cache and browser history

      use incognito mode

      use torr browser

      tell your wife

      A alternative to the Tor browser is the Brave browser. Tor has been around for some time but Brave is quite recent. Many are now offering the search engine DuckDuckGo as a searching choice as it doesn’t retain your search strings.

      However, coming out is a great way to unburden yourself and remove the anxiety of trying to avoid being outed. We are imperfect beings and we are likely to make mistakes with our computers, leave something in the wash, leave lipstick in your car, forget to remove your mascara or have someone come home unexpectedly. There are MANY ways to go wrong here.

      Coming out is all about telling your story in your way. If you get outed, usually the best that you can do is damage control. The opportunity to say what you need to say is gone; perhaps forever…

      3 users thanked author for this post.
    • #397907
      Vanity Fair
      Participant
      Registered On: November 1, 2019
      Topics: 10
      Replies: 14
      Has thanked: 330 times
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      So after reading all of the reply’s to this thread it got me to questioning everything.

      I hate to admit it but I am thinking about trying to quit one more time.

      I hate being so conflicted. I wish I was as strong as most of you are but I am just not.

      2 users thanked author for this post.
      • #397951
        Emily Alt
        Participant
        Registered On: August 24, 2019
        Topics: 9
        Replies: 302
        Has thanked: 249 times
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        Hi Vanity,

        I struggled with crossdressing for decades and would have given anything to be permanently rid of it. After my last purge in 2008, I lost the desire to dress for 7 years. Thought I was cured. Then the desire came back stronger than ever. I drove myself crazy fighting the urge for a month. Of course I gave in. And for the first time in my life, I took a close look in the mirror. I’m so glad I did.

        I think we’re wired this way. There’s no fighting it. We can run but we can’t hide. Desire always catches us.

        I hope you’ll stay and learn to live authentically. There’s a lot of shoulders you can lean on in these forums. If you decide to leave you’re always welcome back.

        Big Hug,
        Emily

        4 users thanked author for this post.
    • #397904
      Rei Durden
      Participant
      Registered On: October 11, 2020
      Topics: 14
      Replies: 451
      Has thanked: 2814 times
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      The energy involved in the hiding and the  secrets sounds utterly exhausting.

      I am definitely in the open and honest camp here.

    • #397820
      Sutekina
      Participant
      Registered On: January 27, 2020
      Topics: 2
      Replies: 75
      Has thanked: 1234 times
      Been thanked: 227 times

      Use incognito mode. Also called private browsing. Every browser has this function.

      I used to do that but now I use a browser in regular mode, but one that’s not commonly used unless you’re an above average computer user. I use Firefox. But the shortcut I delete from both the desktop and windows menu. I instead copy the shortcut into a folder on the root C drive.

      I do this because I have passwords saved and have sites log in automatically. There’s some risk, but only for people who know what they are doing.

      3 users thanked author for this post.
    • #397818
      Debbie Werner
      Participant
      Registered On: September 12, 2020
      Topics: 2
      Replies: 45
      Has thanked: 284 times
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      Don’t use Google,Tor is a good browser, add a VPN for more security, and always remember to double check EVERYTHING!

      Debbie w

      3 users thanked author for this post.
    • #397812
      Joanne Jackson
      Participant
      Registered On: May 26, 2020
      Topics: 2
      Replies: 86
      Has thanked: 198 times
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      It’s the 21st Century, assume you are being watched.

      But if you want to ‘know before you go’ try:

      https://themarkup.org/blacklight

      2 users thanked author for this post.
      • #398367
        Genevïéve
        Participant
        Registered On: July 28, 2020
        Topics: 5
        Replies: 243
        Has thanked: 2860 times
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        “It’s the 21st Century, assume you are being watched.”

        Very true…

        Gen… 💋

        1 user thanked author for this post.
    • #397808
      Kelly Terry
      Participant
      Registered On: February 26, 2018
      Topics: 13
      Replies: 139
      Has thanked: 104 times
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      For a start, you can pretty much forget about hiding everything. It is so many ways things are tracked that the only way for it to never be discovered is to do what bettylou say – not do it at all.

      Since that ain’t going to happen I like to break some other news, even telling your wife may not be enough. While I don’t have to hide anything from my wife or kids I do need to separate things a little. For example it can be somewhat embarrassing if I show some friend something on ebay/amazon/… and it shows that list of “recently viewed” stuff that would require some explanation.

      The problem with incognito made and “delete *” is that you of course have to start over completely every time.
      My way around it is what Emily say – I have multiple accounts. I login as a separate user that do all the cd stuff. I have separate users on all the online sites also specifically for that purpose.

      I don’t use windoze so I don’t know exactly how to do it there but I do remember it being a simple way to have multiple users and switch between them with some quick keystroke, google can probably tell you everything you need about it.

      /kt

      3 users thanked author for this post.
    • #397796
      Sharon Wiltshire
      Participant
      Registered On: July 27, 2020
      Topics: 3
      Replies: 51
      Has thanked: 624 times
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      either of

      delete cache and browser history

      use incognito mode

      use torr browser

      tell your wife

      5 users thanked author for this post.
    • #397794
      Robin Snow
      Participant
      Registered On: May 7, 2019
      Topics: 19
      Replies: 211
      Has thanked: 1611 times
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      It’s not just limited to your browser.   Your digital footprint is bigger than you think.  If you are logged into a Google account you might want to check your account settings.  Google does save your search history.  YouTube also keeps track of  your watch history. Amazon keeps track of your browsing history.

      Rather than be secretive it’s easier to have the talk with your wife than to clean up your digital footprint.

      Good luck,

      Robin

    • #397781
      Tabitha Tee
      Participant
      Registered On: July 30, 2020
      Topics: 6
      Replies: 256
      Has thanked: 1080 times
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      I only wish our robot overlords treat us kindly.

      4 users thanked author for this post.
    • #397762
      rebekka moore
      Participant
      Registered On: January 7, 2017
      Topics: 77
      Replies: 846
      Has thanked: 406 times
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      Please be aware;

      I already knew this but I watched a TED talk this morning about what your (smart) devices know about you.

      A young woman did an experiment for a year or so, and had 80 smart devices installed in her home.  An acquaintance of hers who is expert in this field, then monitored all internet traffic coming into and more so, leaving her home.  It is astonishing.  All devices but especially her smart speaker, “reach out” to their manufacturers multiple times a day.  They send every bit of information out, and everything passes through their ISP (Internet Service Provider, e.g., Comcast).

      All of that information is captured, and shared.  With whom?  Your guess is as good as mine.  Of course the “real” reason behind this is so ads can be sent and presented to you for the things you look at, talk about or watch on tv or the internet, with regularity.

      If anyone really wanted to probe enough, the information is there to be had.  Even as I type this message, visit this site et al, I do so knowing “others” are going to “see” this.  So the secret it out.

      I do know for a fact that even if you “delete” items on your computer, laptop, tablet, etc., it still lives on in other places you cannot and do not control.

      Now regarding your desire to dress, it will not go away.  It does not and only gets stronger.  I know this from experience!  🙂

      Just do it, and enjoy!

      R

      6 users thanked author for this post.
    • #397685
      stephanie plumb
      Participant
      Registered On: November 17, 2018
      Topics: 96
      Replies: 887
      Has thanked: 1041 times
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      If you are using Windows and Google you can start up an incognito browser session by clicking on the “3 dots” in the top right hand of the scree.  This does not save your browsing history , cookies or data you have entered into forms.  It does however save downloaded files and bookmarks, so don’t create any of these.   I use it purely for browsing.

      Cookies and history are only deleted when you close the browser session, so don’t leave it unattended or forget to logout!

      Best not to use it on a works computer either – they may be able to track you.

      Be aware that selecting “block third party cookies” can interfere with some websites.  I have this set to off when on CDH otherwise replying to a girl that has replied to a specific post doesn’t place your reply indented under the girls response as you wish , it goes as a reply to the original post.   The third party cookies presumably get deleted when you eventually logout.

      Be careful though if you also have a normal browser open as well.  Its easy to lose track and accidentally use the wrong session. I always check my history on normal sessions to ensure I haven’t inadvertently used it.

      Stephanie p

      6 users thanked author for this post.
    • #397681
      Susan Zed
      Participant
      Registered On: May 16, 2019
      Topics: 15
      Replies: 83
      Has thanked: 44 times
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      I am with the other girls on this, it will be very much better to talk to your wife about thus unless you think she is going to use it as a weapon against you, which hopefully you don’t 😀

       

      Hiding things is horrible and when you are discovered your wife will be very hurt. My first wife came out as a Lesbian after years of marriage and it made me feel all our time together was a lie. Yes it will be difficult for you but if she is accepting you will both be free of lies. BTW I have found only kindness from my partners, some havent understood it or particularly liked it but they have understood it made me a happier and whole person.

       

      As to hiding your history you can follow what others say and use private browsers but you are never truly going to be able to hide forever.  When she does find out it would be better on your terms rather than a random discovery.

       

      Susan x

    • #397678
      Genevïéve
      Participant
      Registered On: July 28, 2020
      Topics: 5
      Replies: 243
      Has thanked: 2860 times
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      Vanity…

      No matter how diligent you are with covering your tracks, there will always be a digital trail of your InterWeb travels. Not much is truly ‘private’ nowadays.

      Maybe you should consider confiding in your Wife…

      Gen… 💋

    • #397677
      Grace Scarlett
      Participant
      Registered On: July 26, 2020
      Topics: 20
      Replies: 564
      Has thanked: 3209 times
      Been thanked: 2889 times

      Hello Vanity

      I am so non “tech”, so the best advice I can offer is to follow Bettylou’s words of wisdom…..

      but please…..do not p-p-p-p-purge, golly I so hate that word…

      best wishes, grace x

    • #397649
      Emily Alt
      Participant
      Registered On: August 24, 2019
      Topics: 9
      Replies: 302
      Has thanked: 249 times
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      Hi Vanity,

      Using a separate user account (login) than your wife, that you never share with her, will give you a lot of protection by itself. She wouldn’t have access to your browsing history. This assumes her user account doesn’t have administrative privileges, which would allow her to bypass the security controls on your account. But it sounds like that’s not the case.

      Assuming you are sharing a login with her, you can diligently delete all your browsing history after each session. This in itself will eventually raise suspicion. Someday she’ll notice there isn’t any history and wonder why.  Incognito mode is a better option but that’s not foolproof either.

      If you ask her to use her own login, she’ll wonder why. If she begins to wonder why you’re on the computer for hours, what are you going to tell her? Or maybe she stays quiet and hires an investigator. Then there’s your router. If it logs all your traffic (many do), and she gets into that, you’re outed.

      As you may have guessed by now, I work in IT. I’ve been involved in a number of company investigations. I can assure you that it’s very, very difficult to completely cover your tracks on a consistent basis. There are so many ways things can go wrong. Hiding your tracks day in and day out is exhausting. Sooner or later you’re going to miss something. Getting caught never goes well.

      I hid my true self for decades and it eventually caught up with me. I became severely depressed. The weight of my deception was too much to bear. So I came out to my girlfriend five years ago. It was an enormous relief. We’re still together but things are far from ideal. Regardless of what happens with us, I’m living authentically and I’m the happiest I’ve ever been.

      I would encourage you to reconsider your actions. What you’re doing takes an enormous toll on your mental health. Then there’s the toll on your wife. Someday you’ll get caught and it’ll be ugly. She’ll be hurt and probably furious. Better for her to find out on your terms. The girls here on CDH can help you with that. Many of us have been thru this before, and some of us have been incredibly surprised. There’s a fair chance your relationship will actually improve. It happens.

      Obviously everything I’ve said is just my opinion. You need to do what’s right for your situation. I wish you only the best.

      Emily

    • #397642
      Natasha Krober
      Participant
      Registered On: October 12, 2020
      Topics: 0
      Replies: 18
      Has thanked: 101 times
      Been thanked: 65 times

      Hello Vanity,

      Clear your cache and history. You can select this. When you leave your browser it deletes all your history automatically. I used this at work. We couldn’t use the computers there for anything but work.

      But. Your best bet is talk about it. Otherwise like Bettlou says. Toss everything  and forget about crossdressing.

      Hugs,

      Natasha 💋

    • #397639
      Molly
      Participant
      Registered On: October 22, 2018
      Topics: 2
      Replies: 249
      Has thanked: 1257 times
      Been thanked: 760 times

      Oh Vanity!

      The eternal question for those who are at risk.   You can try to delete everything, but it’s very very difficult as not all of it is under your control.  (eg: Accounts on the sites being used)



      @bunnymom
      (BettyLou) has the best statement here… Just don’t, she will find out one day.

      Other than that.

      Try using a different machine altogether that she never has access to and create new accounts for each and every site that you use. NEVER use your phone for the CD accounts/sites.   Do not ever use your Drab/Male/Normal accounts on this machine.

      If you must use the same machine… Use private/incognito mode (ALWAYS) and always close all browser windows (This takes care of cookies and history).   Again, NEVER use your phone for CD accounts especially with social media like facebook, instagram, flicker etc. – (They start to associate phone details on the server side and will show up for people who know your phone number).

      It can be done, but be aware that one day you will make a mistake.  You may or may not be outed by the mistake each time, but eventually you will.  Perhaps it’d be easier to discuss it/this/CDing with the wife?

      -Molly

      • This reply was modified 1 month ago by Molly.
    • #397630
      Bettylou Cox
      Participant
      Registered On: May 26, 2019
      Topics: 17
      Replies: 1494
      Has thanked: 2514 times
      Been thanked: 4605 times

      Hi Vanity,

      Please forgive me for being a wet blanket, but if you want to be sure your wife never finds out:

      Walk away from Dressing, purge your wardrobe, and never think about it again.

      Now, since we both know that’s impossible, may I suggest the following, instead:  Find a way to broach the subject and reveal this essential aspect of your life before she discovers it on her own; because eventually, she will.

      Hugs,

      Bettylou

    • #397628
      Araminta Purdy
      Participant
      Registered On: January 23, 2020
      Topics: 1
      Replies: 179
      Has thanked: 220 times
      Been thanked: 544 times

      Delete your browser history.

      Delete cookies.

      Delete caches and databases that have been attached to your computer by outside sources.

      Or, as the Cybermen say, delete, delete, delete.

      Araminta.

      4 users thanked author for this post.
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