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I was married for five years and made the mistake of hiding my need to be feminine to my wife. When she found out (Believe me that they will always find out) it put a strain on our marriage. She eventually accepted my need to be feminine, though I knew she never like it. I think the only reason why my marriage didn’t end at her finding out was that she was a photographer. Even though she was a landscape photographer, she enjoyed using me as a female model. Eventually, our marriage did end, though not because of my need to be feminine. I won’t explain the actual reason for my divorce.
I writing this because I feel I should warn you not to hide your need to be feminine to the one you love. As I said before, no matter how hard you try to hide your need to be feminine. they will find out. That could destroy your relationship completely. If you’re dating a girl and have strong feelings for her, tell her. Even though telling her may end your relationship with her, it’s better now then when your marry to her. If you’re already married… I wish there was an easy way to break that news, but there isn’t. You already made the mistake (as I did) of hiding it. Hopefully, because all women are different, you’ll have a wife who is understanding. Either way, you’re will have to tell her. There is no way you’ll be able to hide it from her forever.
I’m in full agreement with Edie. I was nine years into a wonderful marriage when I embraced my feminine side after suppressing for the better part of 20 years. I knew from the moment that I embraced my femininity and resumed dressing that keeping it a secret from my wife was not a route that I wanted to travel. My relationship with my wife has always been built on honesty and strong communication. To keep a major part of who I am from her was not part of my ethos or our relationship.
Knowing that I needed to share with my wife and actually doing it, however, are two very different animals. It took me nearly three months from my decision to tell my wife and actually telling her. I don’t even know how many times that I started before chickening out. The stress, however, of keeping this secret from my wife was constantly building. The stress grew to a level that my wife knew something was really bothering me. (Mind you, my wife thought the stress was due to financial reasons.) It was at this time that I found the moment to share my femininity, and my preference to wear women’s clothes. My wife surprised me with her understanding, love, and acceptance within her limits.
That was nearly two years ago. My wife and I are still learning how this dynamic fits into our relationship. We continue to communicate and regularly to share our feelings — something we have done since before our wedding. I would be lying if I said our relationship didn’t have its ups and downs. I don’t know of a relationship that doesn’t. However, we are in it together. My wife’s understanding of my femininity continues to grow. She still has her limits which I respect, and perhaps, always will, which is okay. I dread to think where our relationship would have been if I had continued to keep this a secret from her.
MacKenzie Alexandra
Hi Edie! Sorry to hear of your relationship difficulties and hope you came out of this intact. I have always said that most of us have indulged or shown great interest in CD before we were married. I think that before one marries…one should really talk with intended partner about everything…..and not afterwards….would safe a lot of grief. To-days generation have received training in all manner of sexual variances but not mental ones…they are able to handle partners differences better than we could. I have been there too with my ex.. People change as they age and garner more experiences than when they are young. After years of marriage….you find they you both are not the same as you were when younger. Humans are the only species on earth who get married, there is no such thing in the other creatures vocabulary. Whomever they mate with, they may stay together for a while but it comes down to whom is dominant and can unseat the other as it were. Good luck in getting your life back together and if I can help in anyway….do let me know.
Hugs…..Lady Veronica
I’ve been married for 5 year & we’ve been together for 11yrs. Although, our marriage wasn’t perfect it was great and enduring. However, my decision to disclose my crossdressing to my wife 9months ago & only 5 months after my mother in law passed was the straw that broke the camels back. We tried to work through it and even started seeing individual therapists in addition to couples counseling. To no avail, three weeks ago my wife told me she wants to divorce, she no longer is attracted to me, and doesn’t love me as a husband. She moved out three days ago. I currently regret telling her about my crossdressing & wish it wasn’t a part of me. Stupid clothes, how have they been able to bring such pain and joy.
[quote quote=100953]I’ve been married for 5 year & we’ve been together for 11yrs. Although, our marriage wasn’t perfect it was great and enduring. However, my decision to disclose my crossdressing to my wife 9months ago & only 5 months after my mother in law passed was the straw that broke the camels back. We tried to work through it and even started seeing individual therapists in addition to couples counseling. To no avail, three weeks ago my wife told me she wants to divorce, she no longer is attracted to me, and doesn’t love me as a husband. She moved out three days ago. I currently regret telling her about my crossdressing & wish it wasn’t a part of me. Stupid clothes, how have they been able to bring such pain and joy.
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I’m so sorry to hear about your wife wanting a divorce. Women tend to react in one of three different ways to our need to be feminine. One: They accept and participate. Two: They accept but won’t participate. Three: They just don’t accept. Unfortunately, your wife chose three. This is why it is important to tell the girl you love before you marry her. I wish you well, darling, and that you’ll recover.Edie
I am in situation two: she knows, she accepts, sometimes make a lift of pantyhose or makeup, but I would love to go out dresserà with her! Be strong girls….we will win” Love Gaia
I’ve been with my wife for almost 15 years and have remained closeted, although I have tried to give hints here and there, including showing her the pics of me (right after we met) dressed up for Halloween two weeks before we met. Comments that my wife has made regarding “men who dress like girls” at times has made me extremely reluctant to come out and I probably will continue to keep it a secret unless I screw up and she finds out accidentally – something I have been pretty careful about…
As much as I love dressing and embracing my femme site, I love my wife more and do NOT want to risk losing her by disclosing this part of me. Yes, it sucks…
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