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Ooooops! – did I mean holey hosiery. Well, yes I did. But the other word applies also to some.
Most of us like or even love our hosiery don’t we? It is an intrinsic part of dressing as a woman. More so when dressing for a special occasion or for ahem! – the bedroom. But also in everyday life. And for some hosiery is a big part of the reason for their dressing. Hosiery is their Holy Grail.
During the warmer months I prefer to go bare legged, but for about 8 months of the year I wear hold-ups both at home and when I am out walking our dog Twopoos (also known as 2poos.) Outside I wear 40 denier black ones. This is because they are more situation appropriate in autumn and winter, and also because from a distance they look like lycra leggings. And they last a lot longer than 15 d’s do!
Indoors it’s 15 denier ones, either hold-ups or sometimes stockings for when …… But never tights. Saggy crutches! – I cannot abide them.
So, hosiery is a necessary accessory.
But it is also an ongoing cost, because it is fragile and does not last very long. It is a consumable item. This cost varies depending on how much a girl likes to spend on it and how deep her purse is. But I guess that over a year this cost must run into hundreds of pounds or dollars, even for those of us, like me, who only buy inexpensive ones.
How long does a pair last? That depends on a lot of things. But I bet we have all experienced the following scenario:-
You are pulling on your new 10 denier Italian stockings. These were quite expensive because you decided to treat yourself and splash out for a change, and they had marvellous reviews on Amazon. They are soft and luxurious and you can’t wait to experience them against your newly shaved legs. When – “Oh bugger! I should have filed off that bloody rough finger nail! That’s a tenner wasted!”
I reckon a pair of 40D’s is good for about 6 wears before my toes poke through. At £5 a pair that is just under a £1 per wear, less if I wait until they are totally trashed, and there is not one strand left to anchor between my toes. You know what I mean..
A girl can buy a really good pair of hold-ups for £4.99 at a super drugstore, which are found on any high-street or mall, here in the UK. The silicon-band bit is only about two inches deep and is black and merges in well with the body of the things. So I can wear quite short skirts with them, and still protect my modesty! And great for airflow.
Now, at last, we come to the real reason for this incoherent ramble about hosiery.
Now, we all like to open a new pack don’t we.
They are soft and clean and fresh. With trembling fingers we draw them out, bathing in the pleasure chemicals our brain has released in anticipation.
Unlike that cesspool of bacteria you have been wearing for the last few days!
You know, the ones that shed a fine white dust when you pull them off. Where on earth does that come from you wonder? Well it’s from YOU. At the cellular level your fine hosiery is like a rasp or made of sandpaper, and is continuously abrading the skin of your legs as you move around, showering dead skin cells in their millions, like fish food, that lodges between the fibres of your tights. Which have been pressed up against your most intimate and smelly areas, not least of all your feet! Food for hungry germs!
That’s one reason I prefer hold-ups – they are a bit more hygienic! Less of a cesspool.
Be honest. How often do you wash yours? Every day? Once a week? OMG! never? (possibly because they don’t last that long.)
Do you continue to wear them long after your toes have gone through them ( which it is possible to do if you are wearing enclosed pumps or boots), or they have been laddered (at home no one can see them), or the lace top is pulling away? Just a small hole in one? If one is ruined, is the pair ruined, or do you keep the good one as a spare?
Women’s hygiene sites reckon you need to have at least four pairs in circulation, with at least one, or two, in the wash, one you are wearing, and one on standby for when you snag them because you haven’t filed your nails. Or, in my case, which happens too often, when a f****** bramble reaches out and grabs them.
Hosiery is an expensive ongoing cost. I have read that if you immerse a new pair in water, then put them, still wet, in the freezer for a day, it strengthens the fibres, and they should last longer. I don’t know, I haven’t tried it.
Stephanie P xx
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