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Ok! here is another poll! unfortunately I cannot relate to this one as I currently have never been outdoors dressed fully femme. I look at it as an ambition! I want to take the time and say, I admire each and every one of you who have taken this huge step in your journeys. Now back to the poll! obviously the only members who can answer this are members who have or do currently go outdoors, whether its to the shop for a loaf of bread or a full on, meal at a restaurant! Fiona’s prediction (and its a guess!)…. very nervous! Hopefully I wont leave any choices out this time!!!
Fiona xxx
Fiona Sweetie,
If I have to fly overseas, grab you by your skirt and drag you out the door, I will do it!! PM me with the closest airport to your house and my SO and I will be there. (My SO might do wonders with your wife’s feelings about Fiona) LoL
But seriously, When I first went out many years ago I was very confident because I looked like a girl. Real Simple. Now that I have begun x-dressing again and just went out 2 times, I simply said screw it, it’s my life and I just don’t care what people think. I am not passable now and there is not much feminine in the way I look but I’m gonna keep trying and one day I’ll get it right.
Hugs, Brenda
When I opened the door I was nervous; however as soon as I heard my heels click on the sidewalk I was “flying”. From then on every time I went out the comfort level increased.
The first times (and there are plenty of them) were following the dog into the garden in order to clean up after him. The glamour! I could have hidden clothing under a coat but in the Summer that would look weird. And I wasn’t going to remove any make-up after spending ages getting it right. No nerves, I just felt I had to get on with it. I decided if the neighbours saw me or were around then I would wave and say hi as if everything was normal. Which in a way I now realise it was.
One day at the end of September I just got in the car and went for a drive. It was probably the lack of planning ahead that made it a simple stress free event. A couple of weeks later I went for a drive and a short walk. And the third time I took the dog with me and we want for a walk in a public park with people around. That is it so far but I hope to continue and expand this year.
Each time was just a sudden decision to get up and go, and to hell with the consequences. Once I have that mindset I stop thinking ahead: just do.
Lovely question, Fiona!
I cheated (hands up!) and viloted confident for my first time outdoors fully public rather than my first time outdoors per se.
My first time outdoors was in my teens, and actually, I was massively nervous in case I was seen by the neighbours – so there’s my actual answer.
First time I went fully public was 18 – but I had no makeup on back then – was too scared of leaving traces of it on my face and getting questioned.
First time (so many first times!) I added makeup to the mix, I was a 26 year old student. I was a bit nervous, but very excited, and with a group of other students all in fancy dress, so probably didn’t count.
Next first time, I went fully femme in a Halloween costume across the centre of London, several tube stops to our friend’s house, and back again later, pausing for a quick photoshoot outside the Tower of London.
But again, I’m not counting costumes.
First time I just went out, like walked out of my house and a mile and a half across our village, fully femme, I walked with a bright, fresh confidence, tinged with a little apprehension of I don’t know what – probably habitual worry – but quickly got that under control as the feeling of being me being free at last was the perfect tonic.
Love
Laura
I voted confident. I was practically new to the city (and the country!) so I knew that nobody would be able to recognize me, even if they may be able to read me. That was the first time for a late night drive.
The first time really in public I was more confident after a few successful night drive outings, so I got crazy and went to a shopping mall and walked from one end of it to the other and them back. So, even more confident next time out was to attend a support group meeting, etc.
Gaby 💜
Unlike you city dwellers I don’t worry about going outside dressed. I live out in the woods and don’t have any nosey neighbors that can see me. when I lived in the city it was another story. I also have A cabin on A lake in Wisconsin and again no close neighbors so I can dress and swim wearing anything I want to. I have started wearing women’s jeans with my shirt tale out every where I go and no one has never noticed it, the only men’s jeans I have are only to paint in or other dirty jobs, when they go into the trash I will never buy any more.
Sarasue
My first time out fully dressed was out in the back garden and it was late at night when it was really dark, i dressed up and went and sat on my swing seat in the back garden for about an hour it was so relaxed and tranquil just sitting there in the dark,, the first time i actually went out dressed up was some time later when i dressed up and went for a drive in my car this was late at night too because no-one can tell if you are male or female in the dark I’ve been out a few times at night in my car i seem to get more confident the more i go out,, my next trip is to a place near me called transformation in Birmingham i want to have a make over and have a photo shoot x well will let you know how it goes x hugs Rozalyne x
First few times was late at night, interstate for work, into my rental car and walking along a deserted beach.
First “real” time was at the Tiffany Club of New England where I got dressed and eventually asked “what time are the pizza’s for dinner coming” .
Short answer”They aint” So to avoid hunger a few members took me to a restaurant in a nearby town. I was scared stiff, but it all went off OK. Still have the photos and (literally), “boy, do I look like a man in a dress”.
These days I have a professional makeover and go wherever I please. would probably be OK with my own, but the “proper job” gives me that extra bit of confidence.
Caty
My first time I was determined that this would be it and I still nearly didn’t make it out the door but just pushed myself and off I went. Was shaking so hard I nearly couldn’t put the key in the cars ignition but after only a few minutes having driven away from where I could be recognised I felt much calmer and in control. Opportunities for me dont come along very often now but when they do its seize them with both nail polished hands
Glenda
I became absurdly confident on a balmy late September day after nervously attending a group makeover session for the gender-nonconforming at a Sephora location in Cambridge, Massachusetts. Most of the customers paid no attention to the six of us, who ranged widely in age and appearance. I was wearing my usual men’s clothes. When the session finished we had done only foundation and blush. The staff couldn’t have been nicer. One of them said my skin glowed. I bought the foundation and corrector I had used and became elated as I drove home. The foundation looked so good to me that I immediately did my eyes and lips and changed into shapewear and a casual black and white maxi-dress and slingback heels. I can do this, I said to myself as I drove to an upscale mall and walked into Macy’s on a busy evening. I wandered into several other stores and tried on a coat at Nordstrom. I kept a smile on my face and never said a word, though I exchanged glances and smiles with a few women. Mostly I was ignored, as far as I could tell. I was euphoric as I walked across a huge, dark parking lot, a breeze rustling my dress. Well into the evening, I realized I had forgotten all about dinner.
In retrospect, my makeup was far from professional, maybe far from adequate. I owe my confidence to Sephora. If you live near a Sephora store, see if you can find one that offers free sessions to the trans community. Failing that, individual makeovers are available to anybody making a minimum purchase.
Melissa Davis
I answered “Extremely Confident” because once I was in the public, I felt exactly that.
I rented a motel room my first time going out so I would have a place to dress OR a place to retreat to if it wasn’t working out. I did it alone, I knew I had a friend who was going to be at the event but would have to show up alone.
So, driving to the motel, getting dressed, doing makeup, all was very nerve racking and scary for me. I gave up on doing my nails because I couldn’t hold my hand still long enough to do them. I only wore lipstick and a bit of powder because I was afraid if I tried to do more I would just screw it up and look worse. It was very windy that day where I was going and I forgot to bring pins to hold my wig so I just went with my real hair which was just long enough for a windblown look.
But as soon as I was driving to the event in my car as a girl, all nervousness went away, I felt like I was who I was supposed to be and didn’t care at all what anyone would think of how I looked.
Within minutes of arriving, more than a couple of people complimented my dress and/or told me I looked nice. Those comments and their kind smiles made my confidence soar and I don’t remember being nervous at all the rest of the day and evening.
EDITED to add:
The above was technically not the first time I was crossdressed in public but the first time was a Halloween costume and I was very much in denial about my female side. 22 years later, I went out as myself to the local Pride festival, that is the above story.
The first time I went out dressed was about ten years ago. I was going to meet a friend at a local bar and restaurant in town. I was very scared to say the least, but I went in anyway, I encountered a women who was staring at me, I just smiled at her and she smiled back and went on with her business. I saw my friend sitting at the bar, and went over to her, she was very surprised to see me there. Long story short, I down two margaritas, I was relaxed enough that I enjoyed the rest of the evening.<u></u>
Ronda Francine
Well, I thought of taking a stroll in a park at dusk for my first time out…however that didn’t happen. Then I thought I would drive around the block…That didn’t happen either. I did however take a leap though, there was a meetup group ,which I heard about from a friend on this site, having a gathering so I introduced myself on that site . I told them I would go and I just commited. OMG the days leading up to this was exciting,I even bought a new wig!100% human hair. So my girlfriend and I took the 1.5 hr drive as I was telling myself “I cant believe I am actually doing this “! Exhilarating feeling and I felt pretty confident even as I walk through the door. There were 4 other girls there and so welcoming. I loved it! Can’t wait for the next! This happened this past Friday!
I highly recommend getting out there girls! Total Bliss
I just went out for the first time last night fully dressed i drove to the next town and went to a petrol station is was so nervous i drove back out and it took me 3/4 times then I went in its a pump where you pay at other but filling up my heart was racing my hands were shacking. ..I then drove home.another thing that had me worrying was driving in heels so hard…but il give it time then try again something different but it was a good experience
So yesterday I went out shopping totally femme including makeup. Just casual clothes, jeggings and a light blue v neck T-shirt some rings and a bracelet. Oh and a woman’s pair of short boots and fingernails paint black cherry but no wig. My wife was totally cool with what I was wearing even though it was 100% femme. I did my makeup myself and just did foundation, blush and eyeshadow. Can’t do mascara or eyeliner because of my vision. I actually looked pretty good. But I was nervous about wearing the makeup in public. My wife said I did a good job of it. I was confident in the clothes I was wearing but not the makeup. It’s only the second time I put makeup on myself so was nervous about how it looked. As for being out in public dressed femme. I don’t really care what people say or how they look at me. I am a Transfemine person who just happens to like dressing in woman’s clothes now and damn proud of it. I hide my femininity long enough. Now it’s time for me to show it off. I have the upmost respect for all of you wonder ladies on CDH. You ladies are the best.
If your vision problem is simply nearsightedness, you might try small-frame drugstore glasses that you put on and take off as you progress. This is admittedly time-consuming. With glasses off apply eyeliner and mascara. It will be messy. Use Cetaphil on a Q-Tip to clean up. You can wear the glasses and slip the Q-Tip underneath the lens so you can see what you’re doing. Without glasses, apply eye shadow and eyebrow pencil. Put the damned glasses back on to check your final work. You might have to clean makeup from your glasses. It’s a bother, but I find it worth all the trouble.
Does anybody else have ideas?
Melisssa
I need someone on this websites help I wanna go outside but I’m yung and I haven’t finished my look I’ve only gotten to my bra and panties if your good at putting a style on someone please msg me I wanna get over my my nervousness 🙂 and go shopping dressed!
Oh you are so lucky Georgia! Being young enough to pass as a girl you really have to go for it.I saw a young man recently (about 18) on her own in the sexiest outfit wearing a smog mask.Go somewhere away from family and friends (if that’s a concern) get changed and go out and about.or maybe go out on a motor bike made up under the helmet.
My first time out was after my first make-over. I had a 2 hour drive home & worried more about my mannerisms than my appearance. I stopped a couple times in rest areas and had to talk twice to construction flaggers. I was very nervous but all went & ended well, a very exciting experience that I remember fondly !
Here is my first time out story-a vanilla milkshake will always remind me of this for the rest of time! (as it will to the other “old hands” from 2015) here at CDH!
Cynhttps://www.crossdresserheaven.com/it-all-started-with-a-vanilla-milkshake/
I went for a drive at night. I parked in a new residential development with no houses and walked up the street for a 100m away from the car.
The sound of the boot heels clicking still makes me smile. I was SOOOOOOO nervous but the feel of the air around my legs as I walked in the skirt will stay with me.
the first time I was driving around I was 15 I was wearing a pink silk dress pink 4 inch pumps pink panties pink bra sheer energy suntan pantyhose I had on a wig my makeup I thought look very nice and it was one of the most intoxicating happy nights of my lif I still wish I was a fifteen-year-old girl driving around that night I will venture out again in the upcoming months I hope I’m getting braver by talking to you ladies on this site thank you all for being so sweet and for all your help and advice Jasmine
I’ve walked around my house and yard a bit afraid of my neighbors seeing but I made the first real step this last weekend driving home to Maine from Texas. I walked into a gas station in Ohio and paid for my fuel as I had a lot of cash and not much in my account to use my card. The girl there was friendly and seemed to accept me. I had on eyeliner mascara a white women’s sweater. A stuffed bra tan jeggings and black mid thigh women’s boots. Had my hat on and was obviously male from my face and my shoulders I was really nervous but said why not. I gained confidence every stop until I was back home. When I stopped in Maine I put my regular jeans on over my outfit and my work boots back on and a sweatshirt over the bra and teddy I had on under. When I was driving back the last part I had that on with my sweatshirt half unzipped so people could see what was under it. I think I’d have a lot harder time around here where ivseem to know everyone. But now I want to go out dressed in public. Maybe I can find somewhere in Portland I can go and really dress up. My fiancé burned all my clothes a couple years ago when she found them and I just bought some now she’s not accepting of this at all and said she’d leave me if I ever dressed up again but I can’t keep hiding what I am anymore. I’m just miserable living a lie
Hi Bethany, that really saddens me to hear your wife burnt all your clothes, at first thought it seems a heartless thing to do. Unfortunately for us our wives or SO’s are all different, some will be totally accepting, others not at all, with the rest somewhere in the middle. In a case like this, you have to see it through your wife’s eyes, it must be a shock for her, however it doesn’t help you in your plight. She obviously knows now, the fact she found your clothes, so at least you dont have to go through the gut-wrenching process of telling her. She does need to know, realistically, its the only way forward, maybe you could just drop in little pieces of evidence along the way, such as during a light hearted convo or something. Its incredibly hard to make a non-accepter, an accepter, but it can be done, with time, patience and a bit of courage. But beware, it does not work for everyone. Good luck with your journey and I hope things turn out better for you 🙂
Fiona xxxx
I have been dressing for many years now and up until the last couple of years my outside the house excursions were just driving or walks at night. But in the past couple of years I have gotten much braver or confident. I have gone to a couple of Trans meetings and out to supper with the girls. I have also started going shopping alone. I like to shop at Target or any other stores with self checkout so that I can keep conversations to a minimum. I have stopped and purchased gas and paid inside. And on a few occassions, like at Boscov’s I have actually paid for panties and bras at a checkout with a real live person waiting on me. It gets easier every time I go. I haven’t ventured out to eat by myself yet. I have also walked around tourist areas and surprisingly, no one pays any attention although I have had a few horns blown at me. Felt good, and scary at the same time. I didn’t want them to approach me. Dress nicely but not slutty and walk with confidence, smell good and people just pass me by.
My first time out, I arranged to meet another CD en femme at a coffee shop. They met me as their male self. Using googlemaps, I chose this coffee shop as I thought it would be relatively empty. I had dressed in jeans, ankle boots, top, wig and 36D breastforms underneath. I think I do a fairly good job with the makeup and had my nails nicely painted. But when I got to the coffee shop, it was crowded. I almost turned around, I was very nervous, but knew I had to do this. I got out of my car and my CD date got out of their truck to greet me. I had him hold the door for me (call me old fashioned but it helped to set the mood for me) and as I walked in, several heads turned to look but only briefly and they all went back to their conversations. We got our coffee and sat down. There was an older gentlemen at a nearby table whom I could tell kept glancing at my breasts. I turned my chair and crossed my legs in that womanly way so he could see my chest a bit better. The date went extremely well and my confidence has grown all the more since I discovered I can blend in, in broad daylight.
Hi Girls, so many wonderful stories about confidence and maybe not so much confidence, either way, well done! seeing this makes me think, why am I still limited to being indoors? it really seems silly of me. Well one day, Fiona will be out there 🙂 . Thankyou so much for all your feedback so far, keep them coming!
Fiona xxx
- I was a lucky girl. My second time at a crossdressing service in East London. After our make-overs I joined three other t-girls for a girls night out. They took me under their wings and spoilt me. Which gave me lots of confidence. Being one of the girls for the night was fantastic. First to a local restaurant then out to the Way-Out club a LGBT friendly night-club. Up till then the best night-out of my life. Since then I have spent several weekends en femme with my special girlfriends in London, Edinburgh and Brighton. This as made me a very confident girl when out and about. Lots of Love and all the best in 2019 to all you lovely girls here on CH. Suzy.
I’ve never been out as a woman either, so I can’t vote.
I just wanted to say that all of you that have are very brave and I admire you all for being so courageous!xxx
Brandy
Being nervous is an understatement , it certainly is an emotional experience. Last December was the first time ever out of the house and in public. Met with many at a pub night held every month by a local support group. It was a daunting task but enjoyable in every way. Meeting others like myself was so exciting and made me feel most comfortable and very much accepted . I did have help from a wonderful person who resides close and to I met here on cdh. She helped me with the support and encouragement to follow this dream of coming true. It makes things much easier when one can go out with the company of someone else. Thanks Josie. It takes courage to make that bold move but after a confidence starts to show anything is possible. I hope soon to go out again and maybe even make a decision to move on to better things. Going to a conference I think would be an Ultimate Experience. Only in time one will know. Great question Fiona. 🌹
Stephanie mentioned conferences. I was at the Jan. 31-Feb 3 First Event, which attracted hundreds of people (400 at the closing banquet) to Marlborough, MA, near Boston. I met a variety of attendees including girls from Atlanta, New York and North Carolina. This is an annual event. For a list of other conferences, which might be closer to your home, consult the website of the Keystone conference in Harrisburg, PA, which meets in March. That site links to a list of conferences around the country. This was my first conference. I found it a great ego booster to be at a sold-out Best Western dominated by every expression of the orientation that unites all of us. The traditional fashion show included participants from age 9 to over 70.
Melissa
Keystone, that’s the one I was referring to. It’s going to be my first. Dressing for one night was thrilling but for several days in a row “oh my” what an experience that will be. Time will tell. 🌹
I first went out when i was really young. Wore some of Mom’s clothes. People thought i was a little girl playing dress up.
I have to say I don’t get out as much as I want as my other life gets in the way, however I first went out in a local city I knew well ( scouted out the places to park and the area I wanted to walk in first ). I was a lot younger then and wore a pale blue minidress with med heels. I found it exhilarating to say the least and nobody seemed to notice. Older but not wiser I have seldom been out in full daylight but that is my ambition this year especially the beach in my bikini. It is like a military operation to get out of the house unnoticed and into my car with the make up remover and spare male clothes to change into in emergencies. Well that is our lot being outgoing females I suppose. Love Sandra Louise x
I went to a BDSM party in Cincy. I had prior areangements to meet a friend and we went shopping. She did a great job of preparing me w confidence.
I was wearing a dress, thigh highs, panties and bra w pumps
I was very nervous when i 1st went out fully dressed, I was in my early teens..I posted my 1st time out in a different topic in this forum..but let’s say was very nervous but ince the heels were clicking in the side walk and the breeze in my nylon legs and up the Jean skirt I was flying sky high..it was a good experience, with nonhuck ups or hang ups..but ubmust say instill get nervous when I go out when I can..just that love and excitement stepping out.xoxo
Hi Fiona, hugs and kisses,
I guess, what does it mean to go outdoors. I was told by one of my on line girl friends to start with small inkerments and then move on. So the very first time I got all dressed up and waited until mid evening when the neighbors wouldn’t be out and scurried to the car and took a drive. I was more nervous over breaking down, but once I got the swing of it, I clamed down and had a nice drive. From there I decided I deffinetly wanted to go out in public so I picked a good date, Halloween, and a good place, a gay bar. Then I check the bar out in drab and spoke with some of the patrons, mostly gay men. They were very nice and once I told them I wasn’t gay, they understood and were just friends like at any other bar. The bar had drag shows on many nights, so I started going down, at first I was underdressed and for fun wore my black velvet like pjs, you know the ones that look more like a jogging out fit.
Then finally the big night, it was thrilling, once I clamed down a bit. I was uncertain when I arivived and had to walk accross the parking lot, whould I run into a hater? Would some gay guy try to rape me? None of that happened. The closet I got was while out side the bar to have a fag (ciggerette for you American gals) a cab rolled up and two guys in costums got out. One of them came over and tried to pick up on me. I smiled and then his friend told him I was a guy. He looked a little embarassed but was a very nice guy. Later inside the bar when things got rolling I was walking through a crowd and past the guy, as I did he grab my butt, I kept going and actually enjoyed it.
I guess it was the same for many of us. I was virtually petrified.
My heels pinched, the wind kept blowing my skirt up and the plastic suspender/garter clips were unreliable. No way I would have passed, must have been a sight to behold but I was out and proud, struttind down the streets in the early hours with the demented dog walkers. Why do they do that? Don’t they know 2AM is certified tranny time!!!
Take care girls.
Anne-Marie.
First time as an adult… And after many years indoors, I was really nervous about getting from my flat to my car.. Once I was in my car, Happy days.
Out of the car was at a friendly club, so it was nerve wracking but not too bad.
Latterly I’ve been stuck indoors again due to circumstances, but the moment I am free from the current bad situation, I’ll be straight out he door again !
Imogen x
Though I have been out en femme, its mainly been walking alone after midnight. It feels safest when not many people are about but in reality it’s probably one of the most risky times to be out en femme and alone. If one comes across a phobe type then there is nobody to stop an attack or to get help.
The very act of stepping out ‘en femme’ is probably the most nerve wracking thing I have ever done and unfortunately for me I have been seen regularly which got me a poor reputation amongst the biggots in my part of the world. Got branded as homosexual (which is false) and a faggot and even had some damage done to the car and recieved some mild verbal abuse.
Haven’t done this for a while now though – several years.
The other and more recent times I have been out en femme are much the same as other girls I have seen on here. picking an opertune moment, doing a dash to the car and then just driving around. I have driven the length and bredth of the country whilst en-femme and it does feel great but there has always been a slight niggle of what happens if involved in an accident – lots of terrible drivers on the roads – or, heaven forbid if something goes wrong with the car. I tend to take a change of clothes with me when on a drive and have a large throw in the car which I could use to hide under whilst changing from drag to drab.
There are clubs in Manchester gay village which have dress up nights on Wednesaday which I plan to go to but haven’t done so yet as mid week and I’m usually to tired for a night out after work and there would be the morning after when I would be very tired – perhaps stop making excuses for myself though and actualy test the waters as I would really like to.
This reminds me a lot of the closest I’ve gotten to going out en femme: I housesit (quite a bit; by some odd twist of fate I’ve gained a reputation as someone who takes good care of animals). I’ll confess the urges to try on all those clothes in the relative safety of a house all to myself were at times (read: frequently) overwhelming, and I’d find myself in lingerie, dress, (painfully ill-fitting) heels, jewelry, and makeup, late at night and sleepless, daring myself to dash out to the car and make a loop around the block, or the neighborhood, or the general area… you get the idea. Once when I was doing double-duty I traveled in broad daylight underdressed and with painted nails just to get that gorgeous pink floral dress from the other house a half hour away. Nobody noticed of course, and if they did they’re lost to obscurity, but man was that heart racing every time!
I was confident but had a little bit of nervousness since it was my first time. The nervousness was minute and I wasn’t going to let it hold me back. I live in a rural country area with very, very, very small towns. This and the fact I waited until 4am, I knew I was greatly reducing my chance of being seen. However, there’s always that 1% chance. I didn’t encounter anyone and had a liberating 20min walk.
For me it was a tale of two stories. I had driven many times dressed a little nervous but it always felt free and wonderful. The first time walking into a building I was shaking I was so nervous. I was dressed and enjoying myself when I needed to go to the Post Office to mail a letter. To do that I would have to remove my makeup and put on guy stuff. It was about 6:30pm so I decided to just go as I was. I thought no one will be there and I will just run in and drop it in the slot. After I arrived I saw there were quite a few people coming and going. I sat for about 5 minutes which felt like 5 hours and finally just opened the door and walked in. I passed 5 or 6 people who didn’t give me a second look. They were too busy in their own minds. One woman did say hello and I responded back. That trip started making me more confident and going out is so much easier even though when I step out the stomach butterfly’s are flying around like they are drunk. I found that if I dress like all the other women you blend in quite well.
Carla
My first time out of the house was a round-trip in my car; I didn’t interact with anyone, and didn’t expect to, so I felt safe and confident. My first
- real
trip out was the one to Ulta for my first makeover and shopping trip. Again, I felt confident…but looking back on the experience, I can’t explain (or even understand) why I felt this way. I’m not that passable, and I don’t have the voice; but somehow, I just felt “right”, and that this was really “me” being me. I haven’t repeated the venture, and I won’t without proper makeup, either professional or by my own hand (when I can). But I’m eager to do so, the sooner the better.
Bettylou
I had been trying to do my makeup for several years, looking on Internet and Youtube and today looking at my makeup and dressing pictures from that time makes me laugh. After several years, I thought would it be possible to “pass” and went for a professional makeover in Holland. I was so confident after the makeover that I first went to a restaurant and then a TV night club where the “bouncer” told me it was not for women, so I was pleased with the compliment. Since then I go almost anywhere; driving, shopping (clothes and underwear), dinning, travelling abroad by car (including passing customs and immigration) – only got a few “stupid” comments from a TV who thought that my boobs were too big while only compliments from female friends. I do, however, always look what real female wear as once was in a nice skirt while all others in jeans which teached me a lesson. So today, when dressed I am a “woman”!! but the preparations takes its time – close to 2 hrs.
I was ‘out’ to my sister’s Barbie group for a couple of years, but that was always indoors, and walking from our apartment to whoever was hostessing that day.
First time and many after was riding my bike in a dress or girls shorts and top, going to the park or someplace I was comfortable in back then. No one really had a big chance to read me as I was moving pretty fast when I went past them.
I wasn’t really nervous that I can remember. It was ‘me’ doing what was natural for a young person my age at the time. I did enjoy the freedom of being outside like that though and was probably the most memorable happy times of my life.
PaulaF
This may not count and you’ll want to remove my vote. lol. It happened this past weekend. I went outside in my backyard. First step was on the patio. Looking around at all.the open wi does I high tailed it back inside. Talked to myself and then strolled around for a while. I was scared the entire time!
Angela
Small steps that’s how it works it takes time. Never a dull moment so ease it in and the best to you looking ahead.
Stephanie 🌹
Thanks Stephanie. I’m glad you got what I was saying from my bad writing. Typing on a phone arg. I felt there was a person behind every open window looking at me. I’m going to keep stepping out! Thanks again for the words of encouragement.
Hi Hon, my first time out was a walk around the block, it was at about 11.30 pm and I near ran I was terrified the whole way and it took me three times to open the door and actually walk out. But with each time it got easier, the paranoia of thinking everyone is looking at you recedes as you gain confidence. The best advice I can give you is 1. Next time you are walking around in male mode doing your normal things think just how much attention you pay to others around you, its usually not much a casual glance and then back to your own thoughts. This is the same for everyone. 2. Watch how GG’s walk talk and carry themselves, it is such an eye opener watching how they walk and move, we dont all have to be Catwalk models and in fact very few GG’s are so be confident and go out and enjoy yourself
Love as always
Gail
I haven’t gone outdoors en femme, but I have been outside of my house. I have gone shopping at a local CD friendly shop that sells clothes, shoes, make-up and accessories. They do transformations and and makeovers there too. I left my home in drab, taking my feminine things with me. I changed my clothes and did my own make-up. I was very nervous as I opened the door to exit the changing room and continued being nervous until members of the staff put me at ease, complimenting me on my appearance. In no time at all, I was was feeling great, confident as I walked around the store and interacted with the staff
I have to say Bethaney (but perhaps to late) that if your fiance is that set against you dressing and if you are dead set on dressing / as most if not all of us are, not able to stop, then perhaps she’s not the gal for you. It wouldn’t be fair on either of you for you to live a lie and you can’t expect to be secretive about continueing to dress for the rest of your life. She’s bound to find out and then life would be very bumpy to say the least.
Perhaps need to think about things, fish in the sea and all that stuff.
Best wishes and good luck Beth’.
Anne-Marie.
Hi Ladies,
I had been dreaming of going our fully en femme. I had finally purchased my wig, and my make up was ok.
I had thought about the outfit and the activity many times.
I was fully dresses, and then realized i did not have a or a wallet for my things, never thought about it before standing at the door of my hotel room with no pockets for my credit card, drives license, lip stick. I took one more look in the mirror and stepped out into the hall. The door to the room closed behind me and I was committed to being out. I walked to the elevator. As I waited a young gentlemen came up and waited with me. down the 6 stories to the lobby, and out to my car. That was thrilling. Once in my car i drove to the mall, and went to a luggage store to purchase a Purse. While their the Sales clerk asked to help as soon as I walked in. She directed me to some beautiful purses, i settled on a small one that was on sale. At the cash she commented on my necklace. Feeling the energy of the translation, I put the purse over my shoulder and walked around the mall. I made my way to the food court ordered dinner and sat to eat.
Back to the car, and off to Old Navy. I had wanted a pair of skinny jeans. I walked in and looked around. I found some great jeans that were on sale. Took them to the change room. was directed to the room, and they fit great. Many customers walking around and no one seemed to care. The clerk at the cash talked to me about how the style of jean i was purchasing were her favorite. Then commented on my nails and showed me her fresh manicure.
Not wanting to be done yet, i ventured down to the Le Viene Rose a few shops away. The Sales clerks were great. the panties were on sale, so the table was a mess. None of the sizes were in the marked spots. so i was there for a while with 10 pair for $30, i was going to find 10 pair I wanted. At the cash the clerk was friendly and asked were I had purchased my sweater.
Time to head back to the hotel. Upon arrival at the hotel another car was pulling in at the same time. 2 men and a woman got out. We walked to the door as a group, and to the Elevator. The two men talked among them selves and got out on the 3rd floor. As soon as they were gone the woman started talking to me. I told her i had a very exciting day.
I got to my room and cleaned up. I have never been so excited in my life. I will never hesitate to go out dressed, everyone again. The experience was great and no one seemed to notice or care that I was there.
I have now spent several evenings out walking the malls around my hotels while i travel for work, and have been called Miss, Sir, Mam, lady, Dude. It does not mater.
When we are allowed out again i will continue me evening shopping trips even if it is just window shopping
Paula
This is where a support group comes into play, in one of its most important jobs, supporting the new girl when she goes out in public for the first time.
Prior to joining Sigma Epsilon here in Atlanta, I had been out a few times, always nervous and never having much confidence, plus my outings were very brief. When I joined Sigma Epsilon, which is the local chapter of Tri-ESS, the girls gave me much confidence, particularly when we all went out in a large group to plays, restaurants, shopping, malls, bowling, sporting events, etc.
A support group gives one the opportunity to meet others like yourself and realize you are not the only guy who likes to wear female clothes. Our support group, Sigma Epsilon, also provides support for the spouses and GFs of CDs. When I went to my first meeting, I knew I was in the right place when the hotel clerk on duty never gave me a second look when I asked which suite Sigma Epsilon was meeting in. A female desk clerk commented how all the girls looked so pretty.
Wonderful Terror when my friend Mark coaxed me to go to the mall and let my femme self see the light of day…Wearing a summer dress, panty hose and flats we hopped the bus for a 20 minute ride to the all. Walked the mall, stopped for a Starbucks. No one gave me a second look, not sure if I was glad or disappointed … lol…another 20 minute bus ride and safe at home..what a rush
MY FIRST TIME OUT two days ago i got all dolled up wig,makeup ,tight sweater dress ,with pads 44/36 44 .nylons,and heels .stop for gas and went inside and bought lotto tickets .never had such a rush. next time out would love to meet with other cds hugs to all jackie
Hi Fiona, I just came upon this old poll that I never responded to. I’m sure by now that you’ve been outdoors fully en femme. My first experience was organized by my Executive Assistant as part of a fundraiser luncheon. Staff donated money to see me en femme. Now that’s a coming out party. I was super nervous, but in an excited kind of way. That was probably seven or eight years ago. I have since retired and going out en femme is now old hat. Doing it over and over really does make it easier. I previously wrote about a trip I made to the west coast last summer without my SO (two days of driving there and two days back and I was en femme for the four days of driving having to pay for gas in person a couple of times when pay at the pump was broken and use female restrooms along the way with CIS gals in there at the same time, now that was an experience). My SO knows but really discourages just how en femme I’m dressed. She gets upset when I pass for female (which happens a lot) even when I’m in drab mode. All the Best, Hugs, Krista
I was scared s…, I mean, a lot. Very similar to stage fright. Probably for similar reasons. Going on stage and subject to criticism or worse. Come to think of it those who become accustomed to be in public while feminine seem to enjoy the more theatrical aspects of the whole enterprise. Maybe extroverts make the most obvious cross-dressers. (I was going to write ‘best’, but that would be hardly fair.)
Araminta.
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Hi AramintaI would never describe myself as extrovert, although the Laura side of me does seem a lot more outspoken than male me, lol!
However, I’ve always loved theatrical performances, and feel very at home on stage – I guess wearing a costume and playing a character takes a lot of responsibility off me, so acting in character gives more room to experiment.
So it is with Laura – I out on the full outfit and makeup, and I choose how I want to behave to some extent. Most of it is riffing and jamming, like being in a band.
You not only focus on your own behaviour, but also how you’d like your audience and group members to react, and adjust your performance accordingly, if the feedback isn’t what you hoped for.
It’s not a rehearsal, it’s a full on, exciting performance of real life.
The confidence grows from faith and trust, in yourself and others.
The more you do it, the more confident you become, and that feeds back into daily life.
We should all be truly thankful to be blessed as cross dressers – it’s liberating and good for health!
Love Laura
I my (brief) acting career I was dismayed that when I went on in front of a live audience I ‘went up’ or completely forgot my lines. For some reason, I began speaking and the words just came out. It was almost like someone else was performing.
I suppose presenting a totally different personality in public is someone like that. Somehow you become someone else and she is doing alright. It could be compared to going for an interview or going to a new school for the first time or any other instance where you know that you are placing yourself in a position to be judged. Asking a girl out, for example. There is the same fear of ridicule or rejection.
The trouble with cross-dressing is that the fears are too justifiable. We know that many people take a dim view of gender variance.
Araminta.
My first time out was with three other tgirls. I was attending a conference out of town and had been in touch with one of the girls. We made arrangements for her to pick me up at my hotel and she took me to a TGI Fridays where we met the other two girls. I was as nervous as one could be. We sat in a booth and they put me on the inside which was nice. We had drinks and dinner. The waitress talked to us and was complimentary about our outfits. We chatted and one of my new friends asked me, “who did my make up?” When I told her I did it myself, she told me that if I worked on my voice, I would pass anywhere! After that My confidence was bolstered greatly. I go out now even during the day. It is so much fun being a girl!
The first few times I went out in public to mix with people i had total makeovers and was so brimming with confidence it was fantastic. Thoroughly recommended if you are a bit nervous. It’s just so much fun. Just by yourself without that reassurance is a bit different.
I was very nervous; it was fall, so sunset was really early. My wife attended a course at the University, so after I ate supper I decided that I was gonna dress up (this was before my full wardrobe now) in some of my wife’s clothes, a cheap costume wig, and just walk around the block – using darkness as cover.
The course my wife attended was just for one night, but I think 3 or 5 nights, but was not consecutive nights. The first night, I chickened out and I didn’t go. I think it was like the 3rd night I forced myself out. I stepped outside, closed the front door, made sure it was locked, and away I went.
I felt so good to walk out dressed. I didn’t encounter anyone as I walked around the block, and even though it was a quick walk, it felt good to throw away the shackles on that first outing.
Oddly enough, I don’t remember the first time. This is because I had a couple of “partials”, where I changed into a skirt but didn’t change my top, had a flat chest and a guy top on.
The events occurred because my kids were in marching band in high school, and the regional finals were a 3 or 3 1/2 hour drive home. They would stay overnight, but I drove down to the competition and then drove home.
One of the first times I changed in a unisex bathroom after the group competition (a group is defined by bands of a certain size, so you are competing against bands of approximately the same size). There were other band parents who were at the competition, and I was hoping I took long enough that I wouldn’t run into any of them making my way back to the car (which I didn’t). Then getting out of the venue and onto the main road leading to the highway, I avoided looking at the cars next to me, one to prevent the look back, and two, if they did look I just didn’t want to know. Finally I made it onto the highway, and stopped for something to eat on the way home. So I was a bit nervous going from the venue until the highway, and also at the rest stop to get a bite to eat. But driving, and especially since it was getting dark, I felt confident.
Another year I think the unisex bathroom was closed, and I had to change in my car, which I think I did in the rest stop parking lot. I think I had the skirt on under my pants and a sweatshirt over the woman’s top, so I only had to stuff my bra and maybe use a touch of makeup. I also remember having to stop for gas. I was actually only a few miles from my other daughter who was in college at the time. (And we New Jersey girls don’t pump our own gas. It’s the only state in the US where it is still illegal. But I wasn’t in NJ when I did this.) Again, this was a little nerve wracking, but there were no problems.
A few years later I had my first makeover, and then went out to dinner at the local diner with the woman who did the makeover. I was a touch nervous when sitting out alone in her back yard while she got ready. A little more nervous as I stepped out onto the residential street to get into her car. And a little nervous as I got out of the car at the restaurant. But these were all only momentary fears. Surprisingly, they quickly disappeared, and I was calm and confident throughout dinner.
I had one ex that was very supportive when she found out. She kinda pushed me to do more and more, little by little. Even though she had never seen me dressed, so she was seeing things for the first time as they were progressing. But she was kind of excited at the prospect of having a girlfriend and boyfriend in one (We’re both bisexual). So it started out with her having me just wear panties instead of boxers when we were going to the store, or out to eat. Then it moved up to bra and panties under my mens clothes. And she made sure I had the right size. And that I knew how to measure for the future. After a few times of doing that, she had me still wearing a bra and panties, but added a basic black v neck women’s top. Although I had a hoodie on over it, so no one but us really knew. Even that made me extremely nervous. Then she would have me take the hoodie off while we were driving, which was terrifying. For pretty much that entire fall/winter I was 1/2 dressed all the time while we were out. Just mens jeans over my panties, and a hoodie over my bra and women’s top. Eventually she would start to have me wear a full outfit while we were just driving around, but we didn’t ever get out of the car. Tight boot cut jeans, skirts, or short shorts with a cute top. Sometimes dresses. Then we would start to add jewelry to the outfits. Eventually we added make up, and she would do my hair. (I’ve had long hair since around 12 year old). Then she encouraged me to bring my purse with me everywhere I go dressed or not, which I still do. But just leave it in the car when I go in places, which a lot of women do. After some time of just being at home together or driving around with me fully done up. She decided it was time to take the next step. She had me get all dressed up, and pack a bag for a few days. But to only pack like a woman, don’t bring anything manly. We got in the car and drove to a city in the next state over. When we got to the hotel, she went in alone to get the room. But then, walking through the lobby and to the room was my first time really getting out and walking in public as Kristen. Throughout the weekend we started with short in and out kinda trips. But each time we went out, it was for longer and longer. The first trip was basically to just stand in the parking long enough to smoke a cigarette. Then then next trip we walked around the block, still just long enough to smoke a cigarette before we were back at the hotel. But then it was two blocks. And each trip we were out longer and longer. The first night we ordered delivery food. She had me go to the door with her, but she did all the talking. That was the first time I ever got somewhat close to anyone other than her while dressed. Later that night we had to go to the store to get cigarettes. She had me go in the store with her, but again she did all the talking. It just built up more and more. Until on the last night we were out all night. I didn’t ever talk to anyone but her. When we went to eat or get drinks, she would order for me. We did trips like that a couple more times before we split up. But we still talk. And she steals my make up. To be honest though. I haven’t really gone out like that since we split. The only time I really leave my house dressed is when I’m going to hook up with a guy. I’ll drive to the guys house dressed, go in and hang out, have sex, then go directly back home. I’ve had a couple girl friends that knew, but I never dressed for/with them. And I really haven’t gone and walked around anywhere.
Short answer, I was scared as fuck!
I never expected I’d do it. First I just managed to step onto my patio. Then to do little errands and walk my dog. Don’t get me wrong, I’m still not sure I look like an idiot or not. All I know is so far no one seems to care.
I haven’t ventured out yet . One day I went to the store in lingerie for wine . I had a trench coat on
For me I honestly did feel completely 100% confident the first time I walked out of the house and down the street I went. I declined going to the races with one of my sisters and her friend. I had told a friend already when I was 16 that all the things he seen in my bedroom were mine, makeup, hair tools, clothes, heels etc.. So one day we dressed up together and the first person to see me fully dressed now existed. I guess between my own acceptance of how I looked when fully dressed up and the amount of compliments he gave me I had to get out there and be seen and I did. The only down thing was that at 15 and 16 my voice began changing to a little bit deeper outcome when I spoke, I hated it. I walked into an Albertsons store to buy something and a lady who was checking asked me how are you today young lady is this all you have, your total is $2.36. I smiled and said thank and walked out with even more confidence. The important thing to any situations we face is the fact we are who we are and it should not matter to any of us what anyone thinks about us. I myseld don’t believe we chose this lifestyle, I wholeheartedly believe we were born this way and we’re doing what’s intended and expected for us to do!
My first outing was so incredibly awkward. I had dressed for years but was so unaware of the cross dress world. I honestly believed I was the only one. I know. Sad And pathetic isn’t it? I was on a business trip amd got courageous. I borrowed my wife’s clothes make up and jewelry without her knowledge. Got dressed up with no wig no breast forms no anything… and went out to dinner. Everyone mocked me except the waitress. She was a sweetheart. She called me mamm told me I was beautiful. She said she admired me. That was all needed. It was petrifying but so worth it. From then on, I researched bought my own items for dressing told my wife (which is whole other story for a whole other time) and began dressing out more frequently. It is still one of the greatest things I do in my life. So glad I went out the first time. I still get some looks and hate from some… but most accept and or appreciate me as Brooke.
Have some problem to vote here since it depends on what is considered “the first time”.
I did slowly build up courage over time. Started with wearing just heels some late night in a deserted park or so. Then changing the place to “higher risk” places, moved on to take a walk in high block heel boots, jeans and a long female coat with the hood covering my head and later same but with skirt and so on.In short – I didn’t go from nothing to all dressed in one step and the first time I did go out fully dressed (breast, skirt,heels) was late night (like 2am) when no one was around so I knew no one would be around.
If we count first time I did go out fully dressed including some makeup and interacted with people I had built up courage enough that I wasn’t afraid at all, just wanted to do it more (see my “kelly left closet” post)
/kt
I was between nervous and terrified the first time. I had dressed in the closet for many years but finally couldn’t stand not being able to walk out the door any longer. I joined a forum in a state that I frequently traveled to for business and a couple of the girls met there offered to lend me support by going with me to the largest local gay club in town. I had never been in a gay bar before and never been in public dressed. I chickened out the first time. Too many firsts for me so I asked if I could go with my new friends the first time dressed as a guy. I went in drab and found there was nothing to be nervous about. I met the most wonderful group of people there and many of them are still good friends. The following week I rented a hotel room a couple of blocks from the club. I dressed at the hotel and slipped out a side door rathar than walk through the lobby. I was nervous walking the couple of blocks to the bar and the first few minutes after I got there but everyone there was so welcoming that I quickly felt comfortable. I have never looked back since…..that was 14 years ago and now I love getting out dressed and am pretty fearless.
No matter how nervous the common experience here is that the thrill and excitement of it all is greater than the fear. I recall one of my first was going to a drag show with a date so I blended in with the crowd which was about 30 percent drag and cds. Wore a short black cocktail dress, wig, heels , and full makeup. I just felt like me immediately and loved it
It’s hard to forget the very first time I set out in daylight completely dressed as Rachel. I lived alone in a small downstairs flat with an exit at the side of the building. The area I lived in was safe enough and I could come and go without being overlooked too easily.
For days I’d been building myself up to my very first walk outside. I’d tried on various outfits, various hair and make up styles and stared at myself in the mirror for hours, trying to determine whether I passed sufficiently to stand a chance of making it around the block and back to safety. Eventually, I couldn’t contain the need to be out any longer and so, with my heart beating in my throat, I opened the door and stepped out in my rather nice shoes onto the concrete outside. The first time feeling the breeze on my stocking clad legs, ruffling my skirt was electric. It took me a long time to actually close the door and the sanctury it offered, putting the key carefully in my purse. Then, I headed down the alley to the main road, where people and cars were going about their business. Half of me wanted to run back to the house but, thankfully, the other half just had to go on.
And the odd thing was, the further I walked and the more people saw me, the less I cared. A few people smiled and said, “Hello” but most barely gave me a moments notice. The click of my heels on the ground was amazing as I concentrated walking as lightly and delicately as I could feeling my breasts jiggling in their bra quite gently.
I’m not sure the whole walk lasted longer than about 10 minutes but I returned to my flat exhilarated beyond belief and feeling strangely free. After that, I spent the vast majority of my time living almost entirely as Rachel, switching back to ‘male mode’ only when it was essential. Although there was always a bit of trepidation every time I went out, always that fear of being called out in the most embarassing way possible (or worse) I would still regard it as one of the best times of my life.
Sadly, in my case, circumstances changed and it became impossible for me to live as Rachel and now many years later, I’m wondering whether I can regain the confidence and freedom that I once had.
Rachel xx
I’ve only gone out in my neighborhood but I just walked out the door and did my usual walk around the block (not a small feat it is a very long block from what I can work out from Google Map it is just under a mile). Thought I will admit that I crossed the street to not have to go by the workers at the construction site on my side of the block. Not sure which type of attention I was afraid on attracting there. But on the whole this is a fairly accepting neighborhood.
But I have to admit that I am somewhat an exhibitionist so I wasn’t too much out of my comfort zone. I rather suspect that maybe there is also a drag queen hiding in me somewhere who hasn’t come out yet.Had not been outside as Kelli for years. Made it out twice this year, both after dark. if i didn’t have nosy neighbors 300 feet away, it would happen more often.
as it is, their view thru the woods encompasses both my front door and side door. Managed to slither out one dark night and have a beer on my back deck. My other time out was a drive on Halloween night, which went better than expectedYou know I was just about to describe my first time out a year ago or maybe the first time out partially dressed out. Then thinking back 40 years ago the first time I was really CD I worked overnights and went to school during the day. One night I went to the computer lab to work on the computer program I was working on at 1 am. After working on it for an hour or so I went into the vacant ladies restroom and locked the door on the toilet stall. There I changed into my skirt, pantyhose, blouse, wig, 2 inch healed boots, and a little makeup. From there I drove to my apartment 3 miles away. Thinking back I’m almost sorry I purged every thing a couple year latter. But then I would probably not have had my 3 kids.
I thank you all here at CDH. Everyone here with their positive stories and even some of the negative ones have made me so welcome and I feel encouraged to do more, become more? NOOO I need to become what I feel inside. To look outwardly more feminine, then I feel more feminine inside. This is me and I want to share me with all of you.
Sandy
Hi Fiona
My wife was very helpful in making sure I looked the part and after her approval I felt confident to do almost anything! In fact, I think I would have done everything a woman would do… and the I though what toilet do I use? God, what a dilemma but thankfully no need arouse and judging by the remarks on CDH I know what I have to do now.
Funny… now I just don’t really care what happens. If someone challenges me I will say “Yup, I’m a crossdresser, what of it?”. Leave it up to them to be outraged or baffled. If someone challenges my sexuality the I would retort with “I bet I get more than you!”Love //Polly
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