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I would like to know how the rest of you were finally able to pluck up the courage and head out on your own to do some shopping?
For the longest time, I would always ask my wife to help me buy things and she would do what she could. Back in 2014 one of my favorite stores was Canadian retailer Addition Elle (since closed) which specialized in 14+ clothing. They had a really good sale on and We went and picked me up a new bra and matching bottoms and a new top for my wife.
The next day when I was checking the website again the sale was now even better and closer to 70% off, there was no better time to try and stock up on bras. I had a chat with the wife and we decided to head out that night again. After work and heading home to pick her up she was not in a mood to head out, I decided I was going with or without her the next night before the sale ended. I made a list and made sure all the items I wanted were in stock at the local store.
Friday came and I had discussed heading off to the sale with a co-worker who even asked if I needed her to come along and help, as much as this would have been a great experience the weather was too crappy for me to ask her to head further away from her house in this kind of weather.
After work, I headed off to the store and walked in like I owned the place, although I am sure I was 12 shades of red when I got to the counter and asked the sales associate for help with getting some bras for my wife. We headed right to the bra section and she found me the exact ones I wanted and the matching bottoms.
This was the experience that opened the doors for me to shop on my own. I now have no issues heading out for anything from lingerie to makeup.
So what gave you that final little push?
Thanks
Cynthia
It took me a while to pluck up the courage. One day I finally bit the bullet and walked into a women’s clothing store. When the SA asked if I need some help, I came clean and said I was shopping for myself and I was look for….. I could hardly get the words out of my mouth. She made me feel at ease and treated me like one of the girls.
I found the more I did it the easier it got. I also realized I was not the first guy to buy a dress for himself and I am not the last either.
Hello Cynthia, Well I started way back in my early twenties, by then I thought I should stop keep wearing my Mums clothes & buy sum of my own. I now that how most CD start, but it is not nice keep borrowing them, so get some of your own. So I said to myself if you want to wear more female clothes than you just have to go out & buy some. So I went to M & S & bought my first pair of knickers of my own, it went ok, better than I thought. Now this was some 30 odd years ago & people where not so broad mined as they are today, but as I say it was ok. Yes, now people except crossdressers in male or femme mode, going into shops & buying female clothes [that is when they reopen after lockdown] so I am glad & pleased that you overcome your fears & can go out & buy your female clothes, & carry on enjoying your crossdressing. love, Helenmarie
Great post Cynthia,
I think overall is was just going out and doing it more and more.
Nervous at first??? OMG YES!
What I did notice after a while was people where at stores doing there own thing, seriously not paying any attention to others. People barely look at others except for an occasional quick glance.
Unless you are wearing something that really stands out or are acting weird you are simply a Surrounding. A step back here though-if you are very tall you will draw some attention but otherwise until you are face to face with another person it’s a none event.
Dress appropriate and start at thrift shops or go with a friend for a while. Before you know it you be out on your own.
Have Fun,
Sandy
Hi Cynthia
Like everything else relating to our wonderful obsession I started shopping for Bianca stuff very gradually, very nervously.
Now I can’t believe how nervous I was… or why?
Now(well pre lockdown)I have no qualms at all, and realise nothing bad is going to happen. And that all sales staff will go out of their way to help. They WANT to sell stuff to you, man or woman.
In fact I now wouldn’t have any problem telling sales staff it is for me, either they will be thrilled and inquisitive or think you are joking.
Go for it, so much fun!
❤️Bianca
There were two distinct occasions that stopped my fears of shopping. The first was at Kohls, I was looking in the mirror at a pair of pants I tried on and a female store clerk saw me in the dressing room and walked in and told me they are too baggy. She took me to the women’s section and got a few women’s pants to try on and the fit was amazing. I realized the sales associates don’t care if you are shopping for your SO or yourself. They just want to make a sale and are very helpful if you just ask them. The other was one day I was dressed as Sandy and just decided to go shopping at a mall in the next town. I went, had fun and no one noticed or if they did they didn’t care. So from then I go shopping as Sandy any time I want, which is quite often.
Sandy
I’ve only shopped for feminine things a couple of times. Years ago I was shopping at v.s. for something for my wife and was so nervous. It was a gift for valentines or her birthday, this isn’t a strange thing for a man to do but I remember feeling so hesitant speaking to a sales associate. I’m sure I was nervous because inside I wanted to get something for myself. Other than that I’ve only bought hose at the supermarket. Trying to sneak them into my cart was a bit nerve racking for me. My other purchases have all been online. At the end of the day these fears are foolish , S.a. don’t care what you buy as long as your buying something.
This is based on my own experience :
I still remember the first time I went shopping for Wendy. I was sooooo nervous, as I thought everyone in the store was looking at me, pointing and wondering why a guy was shopping in the women’s section.
Even when I started taking stuff on the rack and adding it to the basket, I was still fighting my nervousness.
There was no self check out back then, so finally it came to the part to pay for it at the cashier. I put my stuff on the counter, she rang each item up, and for some reason I asked if she had a gift box. I can’t rememer what she said but she put all the stuff in the bag, I paid for it, and out I went.
Looking back, no one was looking, no one was pointin and wondering why a guy was shopping in the women’s section, and the cashier just saw me as another customer to ring up.
As someone mentioned, start small. Go to stores that have no sales staff like Walmart, start browsing there as you know no one will approach you asking for help. You can browse to your heart’s content. After a while, then branch out to more specialty stores that may include sales staff. That way you can slowly build your confidence and realize that no one really cares or bat’s an eye.
Hi Ladies , At the time i got so tired of waiting 2/3 weeks for things i ordered , i just went to a local K Mart , closed now , and just went it and made my purchase . I didn’t say who it was for i just made the purchase . As time went on it got easier and i started to just browse and take my time , it was wonderful and i was a bit nervous and always took a deep breath when i got outside , but i said to myself , hey this store wants to sell things and they don’t care who purchases them , its the sale that matters . People paid me no mind , they were in a hurry and went on their way .I was only one time questioned and i paid no attention to this person , i will not be harassed by no one . If you have a look and act like you are supposed to be were you are no one cares . Men buy women’s clothes all the time , i see it happen . When the wife needs something and the hubby is out he gets something for her . So you want to purchase something just buy it . Wal Mart has self check out , thats perfect . Enjoy your day out , have fun . Leslie
My final push was when i went to second hand stores to shop i could not either get the size or style i like. Kif the bra was besutiful it would be wrong size or right size wrong style. So i Called up a Pennington store (they bought out Additionelle) and i started to talk to the sales person. Asking if they still had this and that and other items. I tgen just asked the sales person ” are you crossdresser friendly?” OMG!!! THAT OPENED A BUCKET OF HAPPINESS!!! The lady said they would love to help me and the best times to come in if I am too nervous. She also said they have helped many guys pick out clothes and outfits to try on. I even asked for a bra fitting and she was so excited to help out.
Now I just go any time of the day to Pennington and they know me in drab. They said they would like to see me come in fully enfemme!! Gawd i can’t wait for payday to get here!!!
Basically I just ask the stores are you crossdresser, tg friendly. If so i go shop if not I tell them they just list a 300.00 sale.
I had one ignorant try and make me feel bad. My response was ” you better be more perfect than God as he will judge you like you judge others” they usually leave in disgust or just walk away as I smile brighter than the sun!!!
Stevie
I had my first nerve wracking attempts at shopping for myself at about 12. The first sales lady I encountered scared the stuff right out of me because of my nervousness, and I left empty handed. My next attempt, at the same store, was a pretend shopping list, which did net me a pretty training bra and a 3 pack of panties. Thinking about it later, how was the SA able to keep straight face, a 12 year old boy buying a bra and panties for his sister. LOL.
After a couple more years and attempts, I invented (at least in my mind), the clothing sandwich for trying on in the change rooms. This was a couple mens shirts or pants wit 3 or 4 ladies items between them on hangers. All the attendants wanted was an item count when you went in and came out, much easier.
After my BF took me shopping a couple of times at his friends boutique, I was finally relaxed and confident to go, on my own, and shop my brains out.
The realization that NO ONE cares what you are looking at or buying is only surpassed by the knowledge that I didn’t give a darn about what the other people thought.
Have fun, relax, no one cares and you shouldn’t be ashamed or intimidated.
PaulaF
My first time in a big way was just before Christmas of 2019. My grand daughter said she wanted leggings for Christmas or for her birthday (2 weeks before Christmas). So I went into the leggings at my favorite Target mumbling about looking for leggings for her and picked a couple pair for her and one for me. Then I went to the clearance racks and picked a couple of dresses for myself. A few months before that I had on separate occasions picked up a pair of black pumps, ladies socks, and a couple pair of pantyhose. Each of those was done when no one was around and I could quickly stop for a moment and pick up what I wanted. At the casheers it was no big deal, they just want to ring up the sale and collect payment. By the way this is my favorite store because I worked there for 39 years.
SandyI started by buying everything online, the first thing I bought in store was a pair of skinny jeans, when I went to the dressing room to try them on as it was my 1st pair and wasn’t sure of the fit, the dressing room monitor says “those are woman’s jeans” in a panic I responded their for my wife, we are the same size and I wanted to make sure they fit. Since then, if I want something I just go to the store wander the isle put it in my cart and try on if necessary and buy it without hesitation.
Rose
I first started buying stuff for Bridgette on line, but my first trip to a store to buy was in drab last year to get some makeup after watching a bunch of videos and my wife doing my makeup once or twice. I decided Bridgette needed her own makeup. So, off I went. Was I nervous? Oh, yes, of course I was! Did I get any questions? Nope. A couple looks, maybe, but no comments. It was a drug store, and nobody asked if I needed help, but they generally don’t at that store…
Every time I’ve been dressed as Bridgette, I’ve been with my wife, so I guess that’s made it easier. But I’ve tried stuff on, interacted with sales staff at clothing stores, recently at Ulta (they’re wonderful!), and gotten a bra fitting at Torrid. I know they know, but they also seem to respect me for me, so it’s OK that they know. No laws against being trans in this country…
Bridgette
My first purchases were at the self-checkout line at Walmart – and even that made me nervous at first. Then I “graduated” to buying shoes during Payless’ liquidation sale. I had no choice, since I first had to try on the shoes. That was self-service also, except for handing my card to a clerk at the cash register. But the event which got me “over the hump” and ended my fears was my first bra fitting and purchase. Not only did I have to interact closely with the SA, I had to seek her out and utter the words “I’m a crossdresser and I need to be fitted for a bra; can you help me?” She not only could, she did; and even asked me if I would allow her to demonstrate the procedure to her trainee (I did). After that experience, shopping was easy, and fun to do.
Bettylou
I really wanted to – simple!
The desire to go shopping en femme overrode everything.
I needed to go Christmas shopping, and I just felt like going en femme, so I did.
There were twinges of nerves, for sure, and I felt a little discomfort as I passed people who made it clear they didn’t approve – but, going into Lush, I suddenly got treated like a rock star – a trans girl showed me some products, a GG massaged my hands, another GG let me try other products – they pampered me so nicely that all the twinges evaporated.
People with issues have issues – they are not my issues.
There are plenty of other people who want to treat me with respect, even if it’s just to make a sale – it doesn’t matter! Point is, there’s nothing, nothing, nothing wrong with cross dressing.
Just Do It (but be careful!)
😍😍😍😍😍
Love Laura
Girls,
Noticed a few mentioned self-check out. To avoid embarrassment I used self-check out at a store once. Nice bra, matching panties, some nylons and a skirt. Rang it all up, paid, bagged and headed out relieved no one had noticed…at which point the alarms went off because the bra had one of those anti-shoplift tags! Oh man, I got more attention than if I had just used regular check-out. Store lady was very friendly when she removed it, but not what I had planned!
Simone
My then wife initially offered to buy my panties but then decided she could not bring herself to do it. So out of necessity I went to stores on my own and just projected confidence. Maybe they thought the panties were for my wife or knew they were mine either way I didn’t care. I went to one store and asked the associate for advice on panties that would stay in place and not peek above the waistband so I am sure she knew. I also got a Victoria’s Sectet card and went there. I asked the associate for advice and answered yes when she asked if they were for me. She smiled and was super helpful. I have had only one negative experience with a cashier when buying panties and did not let it bother me.
Hello Ladies..
basically….I just wanted to !!.
( see Laura Lovett).
I now love shopping en femme…just try to look at all the plusses instead of the minus points..
My target has always been to dress, so I can go out, hopefully be accepted and do what girls do… buy lingerie and make up and perfume etc etc… but also just everyday shopping as well….just as a girl!!!!. It’s not too much to ask is it????.
It’s so easy to hold back because of the worry of all the things that could go wrong.
Well…how about just thinking of all the things that could go right, and have the time of your life!!!
Just be a girl and go shop….
as grandad said……you are a long time dead.
Grace ❤️❤️
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