How do you deal with your voice.

When out in public I

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  • My voice is already feminine sounding
  • Don't change my male voice
  • I have taken voice lessons or am able to alter my voice
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    • #419753
      Registered On: December 20, 2016
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      Look this is going to sound like I am a troll. But trust me. I am the real deal. I don’t do a thing different. Just will be myself when out. I don’t change my voice, the way I walk, I am just being me

      1 user thanked author for this post.
    • #419204
      Ellie Hope
      Registered On: October 3, 2019
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      I have just been using my normal male voice to date. Ellie has a long ways to go with female deportment in general, voice change seems overwhelming right now. I have met a few other girls who do a remarkable job with their voice, and it is impressive. I’ve been told that the satisfaction and joy I get from presenting en femme is clearly present in my voice and general presentation even though I am by no means passable. That’s rewarding enough for right now, but voice work is on my radar.

      Hugs and love, Ellie

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    • #418997
      Helene Bock
      Registered On: September 17, 2016
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      I am lucky; living in France and not being french give me a chance speaking with accent plus the fact that I change my voice to a higher “pitch” to be able to pass easier when speaking. So far no comments of a man in womans clothes or a woman with a mans voice!

      2 users thanked author for this post.
    • #418992
      Jennifer Michelle Larue
      Registered On: December 5, 2020
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      My voice is naturally soft and I have little problem in that area. I learned that the key is the rest of my presentation…exuding confidence, feminine movements of my hands, head, etc. Most people don’t catch on to your voice as quickly as the rest of the presentation.

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    • #418312
      Registered On: September 14, 2020
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      I can do a sort of breathless MM voice signing happy birthday mister president. But for the last year or so my regular speaking voice has been cracking rather like I have been yelling to much, I guess the voice is going the way of the rest of me. I don’t know how much I can do.

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    • #418143
      Bobbi Sue
      Registered On: September 15, 2020
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      I do two things. I pick my voice up just a bit, then I copy the speech mannerism of a particular bubbly GF from my past. I honestly think cadence and inflection are more important than pitch.
      (For example, females tend to pitch up when ending sentences.)
      I have no training, and I honestly don’t try too hard. My theory is overdoing it is the worst mistake possible.

      You can download free voice analyzers. They’re kinda fun to play around with.

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    • #417080
      Kara Sumtymes
      Registered On: November 16, 2020
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      I am aware,,, so I kind of talk a little softer & with a little researching I have done &,,, learned of how women speak I use almost the same kind of vocabulary/ different words & sentences that women use as opposed to how men talk I try,,,? &,,,well?? Do my best!!! 

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    • #415467
      Michelle Brown
      Registered On: August 23, 2015
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      At this time of my life<early 70 s ,but admit to 50 s when enfemme> I soften my voice as the situation calls for.Whether dress shopping or at a restaurant I do the best I am able to.Its been my observation some real ladies voices change as they age.It all boils down to the fact that I do the best I can .I will never be 100% female so I enjoy what I have as Michelle.

    • #411148
      Grace Scarlett
      Baroness - Annual
      Registered On: July 26, 2020
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      Hello Kay

      As a youngster I always had comments from other kids about my high girly voice, so I have never really tried to alter it…just speaking normally.

      I use the phone a lot at work, and so often I am mistaken for female, so I’m quite happy with that…..basically, I don’t do anything with my voice…..lucky me!!

      Grace xx


      • #415445
        Registered On: March 27, 2020
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        Well that’s easy, no fair!

        4 users thanked author for this post.
    • #411056
      Bobbi Watt
      Registered On: February 17, 2020
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      I go out  clothes shopping and out to dinner with my wife and sometimes with friends I am very soft spoken but I know it doesn’t  always pass

      5 users thanked author for this post.
    • #410791
      Rachel McFadden
      Registered On: November 13, 2020
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      My voice is the one thing I always fear will ‘out me’ when I’m in public. I have practiced making myself sound more feminine (at least what I think I should sound like feminine). I soften my voice, try to make my speech a bit more ‘breathy’, smile a LOT more and, perhaps most importantly, try to keep my conversations brief!

      Rachel xx

    • #406455
      Patty Phose
      Registered On: May 7, 2016
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      I just keep my mouth shut as much as possible.

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      • #415448
        Registered On: March 27, 2020
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        Good advice,That’s been my approach, but not my preference!

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    • #406419
      Rachel Cross
      Registered On: October 13, 2020
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      i just go with what i got. not totally passable anyway. people dont really mind. they are just happy to see you being yourself.

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    • #406205
      Brittney Andrews
      Registered On: August 1, 2019
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      I’ve only had one outing dressed full en fem to a CD/TG accepting location, so I haven’t had to put my fem voice to the general public test. However, for about a year and a half I’ve been trying to develop a more female voice. I sing along to a CD in my vehicle and I practice matching the pitch and tone of the lead female singer.

      4 users thanked author for this post.
    • #388897
      Registered On: April 30, 2016
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      I am fortunate to have one of those voices that when I am out dressed, it just seems to fit. It’s not really feminine or masculine (kinda like the rest of me). I do stay away from the karaoke mic though. 😉

    • #388853
      Registered On: March 27, 2020
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      Thanks for all your replies, my curiosity has been satisfied!

      3 users thanked author for this post.
    • #384652
      Phoebe Smyth
      Registered On: February 2, 2020
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      Usually I just dress at home now days. Long time ago I used to venture out regularly and I tried altering my voice but never felt it worked well so I generally tried not to speak or I would talk a lot softer and a little higher pitched.
      I think. I avoid talking. Should have been on the list. I actually once considered sign language to help avoid conversations.

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      • #415449
        Registered On: March 27, 2020
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        Hmm, sign language, that never crossed my mind!

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    • #384020
      Deni Smith
      Registered On: July 14, 2020
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      I practice my femme voice  by altering my voice on the phone when I’m dealing with customer service . I also , when en femme, I go through the drive through and put my order in via femme voice. I always get a ” thank you/ yes mam” . Love it! Not yet able to maintain for longer conversations.

      6 users thanked author for this post.
    • #384013
      Deborah Sullivan
      Registered On: February 27, 2020
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      Have tried voice lessons on you tube and other sites but not sure it really works well.  Just be yourself and speak slowly pronouncing your words along with body language. smile a lot

    • #383902
      Alexis Tresse
      Princess - Annual
      Registered On: March 27, 2020
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      Glammed up, I think I look female enough that, speaking softly in a brief face-to-face conversation, my natural voice tone needs little adjustment for me to be convincingly female as far as I can tell.

    • #383498
      Jessica Smith
      Registered On: July 15, 2019
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      I’ve never been out trying to pass as a woman. However, on the phone I’m almost always called ma’am.  Guess I just have a feminine voice.

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    • #383066
      Mary Priscilla
      Duchess - Annual
      Registered On: May 23, 2020
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      I agree with the other ladies that trying to adopt a feminine voice is a wasted effort.  Depending on the situation, I have tried, with mixed success, to moderate my voice to a moderate whisper or, perhaps lightening of my male voice.  I have had to come to terms with my increasing desire to dress and express myself as a woman relative to being proud rather than perceptually ashamed.

    • #383048
      karley delaware
      Baroness - Annual
      Registered On: October 23, 2017
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      Hi Kay………….I smile alot…………communicate with my eyes……..gesture with my hands…………….people seem to want to help a short quiet girl out……….I love it when a tall guy is helpful………………karley

    • #382873
      Mikayla Welsh
      Registered On: April 29, 2020
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      When out, I usually try to avoid talking… as I have only been out a few times, this has worked.  I have been practicing working on a soft, well-mannered voice as Peggy Sue suggested, but progress is slow (as the practicing is sporadic).  right now, only my wife and therapist know that I dress (and my therapist is the only person that I have talked to while dressed)…

      So, it is a work in progress that may or may not result in a feminine voice… not because I am trying to hide me, but because I want to fully express herself as the women that I am.


    • #382829
      Heather Jameson
      Registered On: April 1, 2019
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      I don’t try to disguise my voice, I’ve tried before and I just sound silly. I’ve been told I have a feminine lilt to my voice anyway so I just roll with that and use my body language.

    • #382816
      Registered On: October 11, 2018
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      I know that I will never pass, so I have never been motivated to change my voice. I don’t think there is any way to have a full feminine-immersion experience and I don’t believe things should be so binary (as loaded as that word is). Were I to go out transformed I am sure I would sound a little different – perhaps only due to happiness and fear, but I am who I am even if I get to be pretty as can be. Being someone with a gender-neutral abbreviated name, I would even continue to use that.

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    • #381764
      Registered On: February 18, 2016
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      My voice has never changed since I was 16. However, being I am gay and do drag it does no good to try and cover it up anyway. I have known people who took voice changing lessons and they failed. Why try to change your voice when your a male anyway. Trust me if there was a way I may have done it long ago girls. I personally believe all the ads to do so are a scam and waste of money. Just be yourself!

    • #381739
      Managing Ambassador
      Registered On: January 21, 2018
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      Hi Kay, I’ve done a lot of singing also, never taken lessons or anything

      It seems I have kind of a feminine intonation about the way I talk anyway (or so I’ve been told) and apparently also, an accent (lol right??)  I just kinda move it up into my neck / sinuses and roll with it, I dont worry about it being textbook perfect or whatever.  It’s kinda funny, sometimes people seem to respond with a bit of shock when i use the chest voice, i dont ever get that using the neck voice


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    • #381679
      Lee Ann Rakers
      Registered On: August 18, 2019
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      Speak slowly and softly, other than that I don’t know.

      Lee Ann

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    • #381659
      T.J. Byron
      Registered On: October 18, 2018
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      Sally D.

      Paul Robson!! Really!!

      One of my allll time ” Porgy and Bess” song.

      You go girl!


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    • #381593
      Sally Drinkwater
      Registered On: July 15, 2019
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      I sang Bass in the school choir at 15, I have mastered a high piched shreik which would frighten even the most determined rapist and attract the close up scrutiny that I try to avoid.

      I have found that pointing, shrugging my shoulders and nodding vigorously from a distance sometimes work but if all else fails I sing the stage version of ‘Old man river’ and pass the hat round  🙂 .

      Sal x

    • #381565
      Registered On:
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      I try to feminize my voice along with my appearance and mannerisms.  I haven’t taken any formal lessons, but have watched some YouTube videos on the subject.  TransVoiceLessons is my favorite channel covering voice feminization.

    • #381541
      Paula F
      Registered On: August 7, 2019
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      I am like Alice.  I use a much softer tone when I speak as Paula, though some times I feel I do have a fairly feminine voice in a sort of Kathleen Turner sort of sound.  From back when I was in the hospital the last time, I ended up on a breathing tube for 2 weeks due to getting pneumonia and even now my voice seems to disintegrate and go all over the place for a few minutes until I can get it cleared, so I have begun to use the softer voice for day to day, and it seems to work


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    • #381534
      Alice Underwire
      Registered On: September 16, 2019
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      None of the choices is a good fit for me so couldn’t pick any.  I try to speak in a softer tone with moments of a higher pitch tossed in now and again.


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    • #381528
      Alison Anderson
      Registered On: October 15, 2018
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      None of the choices is a good fit for me.  I had a group lesson with a voice coach about 9 years ago, and again last year, so I can pull off a feminine voice for short encounters, like saying good morning, or interacting with people in a store.  If I had a long conversation, there are enough clues in my voice that I’m male.

      I used to try to soften the voice, but I found that I could not be heard in noisy environments.  The voice coach talked about resonance, about making the voice smaller.  So I do raise the pitch slightly, but I try to project some of my voice through the nasal cavities.  These are smaller than your vocal tract and the resultant voice sounds smaller.  I don’t go all the way to sound like Fran Drescher, just enough to give the smaller resonance.  This way I can project my voice louder and still sound feminine.

      7 users thanked author for this post.
    • #381526
      Caty Ryan
      Registered On: August 27, 2017
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      Basically I dont talk to anyone.. Unless I really have to. Just go about my (usually mall shopping) business and dont even buy a coffee. (That has restroom repercussions very quickly).

      Not afraid to go into the “ladies”, but why give yourself “grief” if you dont have to??

      Besides all of the above, as an ex Australian Rules football fanatic, my voice was “trained” years ago at the “footy”. LOL




    • #381510
      Sandy Jayson
      Registered On: September 29, 2019
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      I to like Bettylou couldn’t answer this one.  I do try to decrease the volume an raise the pitch a little.  This helps give me a little bit more feminine sounding voice but doesn’t go very far and I know it.  On my recent hair coloring adventure I didn’t even try to feminize my voice, I just reveled in enjoying the experience and my hairdresser was so nice.  If it was not for covid I would have given her the biggest hug.  I have been called ma’am over the phone so maybe my voice is close to passing already.


      6 users thanked author for this post.
    • #381449
      Peggy Sue Williams
      Baroness - Annual
      Registered On: June 26, 2019
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      I speak in my male voice.  However, similar to your body movements and general demeanor, I try to speak gently, slowly and clearly.  Watch how well-mannered ladies speak and act in public, and that is how I endeavor to conduct myself in public.  When a man holds a door open for me or pulls out a chair for me (I am in female mode), I thank him in my soft genteel voice.  When a lady compliments something I am wearing, I thank her in a well-mannered soft voice.  IMHO, if I stop to speak with someone in public, it most likely does not take them long to be thinking I am a male, which does not bother me in the least.  Fortunately, I live in a big city metro area (Atlanta, Georgia) that is LGBT friendly.  I rarely frequent places where heavy alcohol consumption goes on, so it is rare for me to have someone comment negatively on my female presentation.  The sometimes exception is persons past 75 years of age, who will stare at me.  I handle that situation with a smile and kind words, works every time.

    • #381429
      T.J. Byron
      Registered On: October 18, 2018
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      I sang all the ” Elvis ” songs in my band

      band, * the DR ROCK BAND*. I sang 1 st tenor in high school. I have had singing lessons, how

      not to go horse!! Don’t have any trouble with my female voice. I am called ” MAM”.

      Dr T.J.



    • #381428
      Bettylou Cox
      Registered On: May 26, 2019
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      Can’t answer the poll; nothing matches.  But I’m working on my voice, and I can manage a femme – but flat – voice.

    • #381418
      Laura Lovett
      Registered On: March 26, 2020
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      Hi Kay

      It depends on how I feel at the time.

      I soften my voice a bit, and I practice my femme voice – I had singing lessons and even taught singing when younger, so I know about voice control.

      I’m not great at it, as I haven’t done much over the last 20 years, and I don’t stress about it either.

      When I do karaoke, it’s in male voice, but I do like to show off a little by doing songs with a wide vocal range, like Take On Me by A ha. I’ve been practising, and can do a passable Debbie Harry (guess my age, lol!), and I believe that I can push myself to do Kate Bush’s wonderful Wuthering heights.

      But speaking, I know people can tell I’m a cross dresser, so, while I use a softer voice, it’s not to hide or pretend I am a woman, but because it suits Laura better – and I will improve it in my own time.

      I hold conversations with people regularly – people seem to like chatting with Laura, and it’s having an effect on male me too.

      Love Laura


    • #381403
      Registered On:
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      Hello Kay

      I am lucky to have a great male voice. I am a good singer. My Natasha voice is very good as well. No one can tell I’m a man when I am out en femme.

      My girlfriend loves to go to karaoke nights with Natasha. They are BFF. Natasha is amazing.

      People always cheer for Natasha…


      Hugs sis


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