- December 10, 2021 at 1:28 pm #586991HippieParticipantRegistered On: December 20, 2016Topics: 38Replies: 332Has thanked: 1349 timesBeen thanked: 1526 times
I just wonder how do YOU (not me, but you) find your path on this gender roller coaster.
For me I am happy at that I fall into that Androgynous line, I like being both genders at the same time.
I love having my man and girl side at the same time and that’s how the world sees me.
Sure I get stares, weird looks and sometimes people want to talk nasty to me. But I also have no problems bringing out Bonnie and Claude (my left and right fist) if it comes down to it.
Total of 32 users thanked author for this post. Here are last 20 listed.
- December 16, 2021 at 8:04 am #589727Bianca EverdeneLadyRegistered On: April 11, 2017Topics: 29Replies: 928Has thanked: 4120 timesBeen thanked: 4024 times
For me when I decided just to be me, answerable to nobody about how I look, and identify as I wish to identify myself, I found my own personal path.
It’s a lonely path sometimes, but like Dorothy on the yellow brick road I am finding new connections along the way, people who know and seem to like the new me. I feel it’s far better to tread my own path, being me, rather than drifting down a path laid out for me to follow by society since I was born.
Happiest I’ve ever been. Some may say selfish, but I’ve done my share of caring and providing and putting others first. Not ashamed to say I’m having some ‘me’ time and loving it.
Its an old adage but if you don’t love yourself how do you expect others to love you.
- December 16, 2021 at 6:05 am #589687Barb WireDuchess - AnnualRegistered On: September 16, 2021Topics: 15Replies: 677Has thanked: 3920 timesBeen thanked: 3283 times
- December 16, 2021 at 4:45 am #589659Ginger Taryn GreenLadyRegistered On: June 16, 2021Topics: 3Replies: 61Has thanked: 68 timesBeen thanked: 346 times
I have thought of myself as a crossdresser most of my life, but recently I have been reevaluating that thought. I feel that I am two spirited in that I loved both sides of my existence. I am just as comfortable in either way I present. Actually I may even be more comfortable as the feminine side. To go even further I am married and deeply in love with my wife. However, When I am in en femme mode I am also attracted to certain men. I really am not sure where that is coming from. So ultimately I suppose that I am more gender fluid on both sides of the coin. I just have not acted on the other side of the coin. I really don’t plan to but, I find it interesting how my mind functions when en femme.
hugs and stuff Ginny
- December 16, 2021 at 3:35 am #589641Cece XLadyRegistered On: April 8, 2020Topics: 20Replies: 116Has thanked: 2293 timesBeen thanked: 725 times
Hi, Hippie. Thank you for starting this interesting discussion.
I am a closet crossdresser, basically fully a man in a dress behind closed curtains and underdressing on occasion outside my apartment. I really have no interest in diminishing my masculinity or having any feminine experiences. I just very much enjoy wearing women’s clothing.
I am not interesting in presenting or passing as a woman in public, but would like to remain dressed if friends come to visit. I will not be girly in their presence, however, I would be just my normal masculine me with a padded bra and stockings under my dress. My desire is limited to clothing only, so I will not be shaving any part of my body nor putting on make-up or nail polish. All this could change, but that is where I feel comfortable now.
As such, I am an occasional transvestite but definitely not transgender.
- This reply was modified 5 months ago by Cece X.
- December 18, 2021 at 7:27 am #590528
- December 13, 2021 at 9:59 am #588387Stevie65LadyRegistered On: September 6, 2019Topics: 27Replies: 195Has thanked: 459 timesBeen thanked: 835 times
Honestly…. it does not really matter. It matters to those who have to label everything. Maybe more and more people have OCD. It is gone past human normallicy to just accept things the way they are.
Everything has to be scrutinized and labeled for anyone to understand what they are looking at or who.
Why dont we label cis women crossdressers? They wear jeans buttoned shirts ect ect..high heels skirts and dresses have been tossed aside. Are they trans? I think so.
- December 12, 2021 at 1:47 pm #588031Rayna CarlianDuchessRegistered On: March 4, 2020Topics: 3Replies: 409Has thanked: 554 timesBeen thanked: 1432 times
(for the sake of brevity)
If you genuinely don’t know where you fit and want to explore this seriously…
“You”, whoever you is ;-), should talk to a professional counselor that has experience in the trans arena.
That’s my best advice aside from read everything you can on the topics and see what you can learn.
- December 12, 2021 at 1:52 pm #588039HippieLadyRegistered On: December 20, 2016Topics: 38Replies: 332Has thanked: 1349 timesBeen thanked: 1526 times
- December 12, 2021 at 2:13 pm #588053Rayna CarlianDuchessRegistered On: March 4, 2020Topics: 3Replies: 409Has thanked: 554 timesBeen thanked: 1432 times
AH! I though you were asking in General how a “you” would determine, lol. My mistake.
How did I? I did a lot of reading and talking to other people, some on here, and started putting pieces together.
That being said, I am still kicking the idea around about seeing a counselor myself.
I’ve been doing some of what you’re doing in the androgynous world and not just femme or masc looks. I’ve been going out more and more in a mix of “ladies” clothes, without wig or body shaping stuff, maybe a light bit of makeup if any, and just style my hair very whatever… I do tend to wear lipstick either way ;-).
So, I’m still exploring…
- December 12, 2021 at 1:16 pm #588006ChloeCDuchessRegistered On: November 5, 2019Topics: 11Replies: 543Has thanked: 2068 timesBeen thanked: 2544 times
Interesting question because the concepts behind the mentioned states have gone through changes since I first became aware that I was aware of what was going on with me.
I mean when you’re thinking back to when you were 4 years old which is now many long years ago for me, there really isn’t too much you do remember, although some thoughts have been well embellished in my mind. And! I took the unique step of writing as many as I could remember down, a number of years ago…when I was probably less addle-brained than I am now. And I have a lot of pictures from then which corroborate in many ways the scenes around my memories, some of which I’ve only recently seen (like in the past 6 years since my mother passed away and I got many of her albums and have looked through them.)
And when you are 4, there are a lot of concepts that have been promulgated through the years relating to what many of here have and are experiencing, that when you read the lit behind them, you realize they can’t in any sense of the word apply to 4 year old boys (or the appropriate word for 4 year old girls). The odd word gynephilia (and all its pre and post fixes) which wasn’t even invented when I was 4 cannot possibly apply to me as a 4 year old. Yet, I know for a fact that when I was a 4 year old boy I needed to act out my desire to be a 4 year old girl as when (I’ve mentioned before) I asked my mother to make me a dress (along with a number of other remembered desires).
I certainly wasn’t in any sense of the word ‘precocious’ or at least no family member has even considered that word when thinking even kindly of me. At that age, I just cannot believe or accept that any aspect of the concept of eroticism would even closely apply.
Yet, at 4 I know I wanted to be a girl, or at least have my mother make me that dress so I could ‘pretend’ to be a girl. The feeling never left, only receded at times like shoreline water does before an incoming storm where it’s then forcefully thrust far inland laying waste to everything in front of it. Then I would yield
I just learned over time to hide my proclivities and desires, and only engage in them when I knew I would be alone for any significant period of time. And I was able to mostly bury them for a time, especially when I was forced to live in circumstances that would be highly inimical to my health – like my barracks in Basic.
Long story short – the concept of in my dreams of having some kind of physical intimacy with a member of the opposite gender to my inwardly perceived understanding of what I knew my gender should have been, was years away from that 4 year old, along with all that bedroom stuff that goes along with it.
So, I’m transgendered, and I am not suffering from any kind of mental affliction (regardless of how fancy the term) that could be corrected through long hours of spending hard earned money for having someone listen to my life, or I suppose shock therapy as that was once a ‘cure’, too.
- December 12, 2021 at 12:42 pm #587997AnonymousTopics: 0Replies: 0Has thanked: 0 timesBeen thanked: 0 times
At this time in my life I’m just a crossdresser, as i am married i can only dress now and again when the opportunity arises, if i was to get a divorce and live on my own i would move house to somewhere no one knew me and become a full time TV, ( not a telly) but someone who dresses 24/7 , I would purge all my man clothes everything and just wear my women’s clothes even when going shopping, I’m not sure about having surgery i think I’m a bit old with being 68 , i might get a boob job though, oh and i would definitely go on a diet and drop 2 or 3 dress sizes, maybe drop 4 👗 sizes,
Hugs Roz X
- December 12, 2021 at 12:50 pm #588001WilmaLadyRegistered On: July 24, 2021Topics: 16Replies: 198Has thanked: 1404 timesBeen thanked: 812 times
I hear you sister, I find myself in exactly the same shoes as you (Size 10 by the way)
If I could leave my wife comfortably off I would, move to a single home, even shop on line for the rest of my life but I would definitely 24/7 be woman.
- December 16, 2021 at 4:39 am #589655Gerianne ALadyRegistered On: December 11, 2021Topics: 4Replies: 4Has thanked: 54 timesBeen thanked: 87 times
Count me in this same group as Roz n Wilma. I am home very much a closeted CD growing desires to be more expressive. But my recent attempt to share this information with my wife caused major heart ache for both of us. So I’m back to denying everything. I am trying to figure out if there is even a safe middle ground somewhere. I think if something were to happen to my wife and maybe I could explore this side of me more. But we’ve been married for 25 years and I love her deeply.
- This reply was modified 5 months ago by Gerianne A.
- December 12, 2021 at 8:46 am #587861Abbie NormalDuchessRegistered On: June 13, 2021Topics: 13Replies: 679Has thanked: 1375 timesBeen thanked: 2806 times
I was the classic “just a CD” until this past Spring when I started to explore the terminology more and finally realized that I fit the transgender label. Then the flood gates kinda opened for me. I have always struggled to pass as a man and I developed lots of coping behaviours to hide my other side but eventually she came out and has since become dominant. Lately I’m only dressing as a man when I have to. I do kinda hope that one day I’ll find some equilibrium but at the moment I feel like this is the real and complete me. I used to think I had to be a guy to do yard work, lol. I finally realized I can be fabulous and do yard work at the same time.
EDIT: for completeness I should mention that there was a period at the end of my 20’s where I lived my home life as a woman for a few glorious months but then my life changed and I buried all that for another 20 years. I definitely felt that I was a woman trapped in a mans’ body during that brief period though.
— Abbie 🥰
- December 12, 2021 at 8:19 am #587845Michelle McQueenLadyRegistered On: June 14, 2021Topics: 24Replies: 1232Has thanked: 7565 timesBeen thanked: 6118 times
I have always had an inner girl as long as I can remember but still like being male at times. As I get older I want to be female more of the time and its gotten to the point of if I can’t wear something feminine each day I feel incomplete. I love dressing and doing feminine things but at my age know I won’t ever go further with hormones or surgery. I suppose I’m considered a crossdresser.
- December 12, 2021 at 8:07 am #587840Stevie ParisLadyRegistered On: November 19, 2021Topics: 1Replies: 18Has thanked: 36 timesBeen thanked: 110 times
I class myself as hereto-romantic, in that I fancy having sex with men (and used to) but for the sex, not any romantic bonding.
Were I not married and/or faithful, I would definitely wear my lingerie to bed with a man, as I do for my wife.
Bottom line, I am fine being a male but want to be girly at the same time.
But as to the question, I sometimes feel that crossdressing is being squeezed out a bit by the conversations on gender and transitioning, though I temper this by saying I wholeheartedly support those searching to find their true selves, whatever they may be. Hopefully, there will come a time when labels are meaningless and people do what they want, dressed how they like, with whomever they want (consensually of course), and no-one bats an eyelid.
- December 12, 2021 at 3:57 am #587726Regine KellyLadyRegistered On: October 9, 2020Topics: 44Replies: 1464Has thanked: 20371 timesBeen thanked: 6973 times
For myself, I decided/accepted, that I am trans, because of the feelings/comfort I get, when transformed, not transitioned.
The comfort when laying in bed, by breasts/forms, laying against my chest, on my arm, the way I feel in my skirts and tops, or form fitting dresses, the emotions, brought on by life, the girl looking back at me in the mirror.
Yes, I am genetically a man in a dress, but emotionally and mentally, I am the woman in the mirror, so, I am Trans.
- This reply was modified 5 months ago by Regine Kelly. Reason: spelling
- December 12, 2021 at 3:18 am #587712AnonymousTopics: 0Replies: 0Has thanked: 0 timesBeen thanked: 0 times
Happy to be a vanilla cross-dresser. I love looking like a woman, but I don’t want to be one.
I think it’s called “autogynophilia”.
(Sounds like a flower! “I’ll have a dozen roses and bunch of autogynophilias…..”)
- December 12, 2021 at 2:42 am #587703Laura LovettLadyRegistered On: March 26, 2020Topics: 39Replies: 1553Has thanked: 5095 timesBeen thanked: 7675 times
Trans indicates some kind of joining or overcoming two distinctly different aspects to me:
Transport – moving from one location to another, possibly many locations.
Transatlantic – moving the great distance across that mighty ocean.
Transparent – clearly showing one side of an object while remaining on the other.
Translucent, transfer, transaction, transmit – every word beginning “Trans” indicates some kind of journey and I agree with the old adage: It’s better to travel than to arrive.”
So everything beginning Trans is about a journey – not a destination or current location, and each journey is different, and everyone can have many subjournies.
I like the sense of “Beyond”.
- December 12, 2021 at 2:09 am #587699Roberta BroussardBaronessRegistered On: July 20, 2020Topics: 5Replies: 239Has thanked: 3556 timesBeen thanked: 1128 times
I repressed these feelings all of my life. Since I started letting go, I find the more I dress the more I want to stay dressed. It gets harder every time that I have to change back. In my heart I could go 24/7. Since I can’t seem to stop shopping, I now even have the clothes to do it. What is so strange is how I used to think of myself as a guy who just liked to put on girl clothes. What I’m discovering is that maybe I’ve been a girl all along and just had to wear guy clothes to get by.
- December 12, 2021 at 3:41 am #587723Coral WentworthDuchessRegistered On: July 12, 2019Topics: 8Replies: 111Has thanked: 336 timesBeen thanked: 468 times
Reberta, I know exactly what you mean, I am almost 24/7 in my clothes. It might be days before I put on some of my man clothes and if I lived in a different town I probably would never put them on again. When I moved here I presented as a male, although there have to be some CD’s and Trans folks here they are hidden very well as I have yet to meet any of them and I only know of one gay man in town. To get to the question I would like to think of myself as a female because this is how I feel inside no matter what clothing I am wearing. I know that my body gestures have changed over the last few years to almost entirely female. I noticed this about a year ago in my walk then my sitting posture and one day I was at a local dinner and when I went to sit I placed my hands under the back of my legs as if I was holding my dress when sitting. I slowly looked around and no one was staring at me, so I have to say, female.
- December 12, 2021 at 1:54 am #587696Paula FDuchessRegistered On: August 7, 2019Topics: 17Replies: 1561Has thanked: 30616 timesBeen thanked: 6377 times
You are going to get a LOT of different answers on this one as we are all at least a little different.
Can you willingly close the lingerie drawer for a day? A week? A month? I, for one, cannot for even a day.
Do you eliminate online sales ads or snail mail flyers for womens clothing and items without even a peek? I cannot.
Do you forsake your skin care regimen or careful laundering of your clothes?
That very instant when you first glance into a mirror, who do you see?
When you eat a burger, do you scarf it down and lick the oozy mustard from your finger, or do you always take your time and enjoy the blend of flavors and keep a napkin handy?
In the morning when you stumble to the bathroom, do you look down in disappointment and think to yourself, “Darn it, it’s still there.”
- This reply was modified 5 months ago by Paula F.
- December 12, 2021 at 8:31 am #587856AnonymousTopics: 0Replies: 0Has thanked: 0 timesBeen thanked: 0 times
- December 12, 2021 at 12:07 pm #587983LadyRegistered On: December 11, 2021Topics: 4Replies: 4Has thanked: 54 timesBeen thanked: 87 times
Bless you for knowing and discovering this about yourself. I don’t HATE my penis, but I wish I had a vagina instead. I’m not sure I can go through all the way with surgery, but I think I’d want to someday. I imagine that’s what allows me to define myself as trans vs CD. Of course, right now, I’m barely either of those too.
- December 12, 2021 at 1:41 pm #588026AnonymousTopics: 0Replies: 0Has thanked: 0 timesBeen thanked: 0 times
HI Gerianne thank you something discovered years ago while growing up feel alot better now then did before. As for surgery first 2 weeks is pain but believe me gets better and actually for me I am more happy emotionally. Once get the healing out of the way able ot wear any type of woman clothes made to fit me. and no more tucking Able to wear my thongs and g strings with no worries. All it takes is a strong will.
- December 12, 2021 at 7:45 am #587831LadyRegistered On: December 20, 2016Topics: 38Replies: 332Has thanked: 1349 timesBeen thanked: 1526 times
- December 11, 2021 at 8:46 pm #587640AnonymousTopics: 0Replies: 0Has thanked: 0 timesBeen thanked: 0 times
- December 11, 2021 at 8:26 pm #587634AnonymousTopics: 0Replies: 0Has thanked: 0 timesBeen thanked: 0 times
feel the same way Heather know I am trangender or wouldn’t went through 2 surgeries last 2 months to change appearance to match my inner emotions and feelings. Know feel like a woman and soon enough will be legally a woman once able to get all the legal docs changed and pay fees. to get birth changed.
- December 11, 2021 at 8:12 pm #587629Cassie JaysonDuchessRegistered On: September 29, 2019Topics: 49Replies: 853Has thanked: 2044 timesBeen thanked: 4087 times
Hippie, I’ll tell you, When I first came on to CDH and Iwas asked if I was Transgender I was a little feaked out and said NO, NO, NO. But now as I am going though my journey here I feel like I would Like to at least ‘socially transition’ with no hrt or surgeries.
In my head I go back and forth some days I consider myself just a crossdresser and some days fully ( or want too be fully?) transgender. This helps me keep myself where I need/want to be for the day.
. . Cassie
- December 10, 2021 at 1:55 pm #587009SylviaLadyRegistered On: October 10, 2021Topics: 1Replies: 674Has thanked: 16793 timesBeen thanked: 2814 times
Dear Hippie ,
I also consider myself to be Androgynous.
But for me the male and Female part are separate things , and don’t blend in with eachother.
My male part is the part that is at work and the outside world.
My Female part only shows itself in the privacy of my Home.
But lately , my male part has benefitted greatly from my Females part development.
For now , that’s enough for me.
How this wil develop in the Future , for instance when I retire from working 5 days a week ,
when I am past 67 ( I am now 53 ) , I have no idea !
We’ll have to cross(dress) that bridge when the time comes , god willing.
- December 10, 2021 at 1:31 pm #586994AnonymousTopics: 0Replies: 0Has thanked: 0 timesBeen thanked: 0 times
I guess it’s just how you feel inside. Some just like the feel and look of the clothes and they’re happy being crossdressers, others such as myself know I’m TG, in my mind and heart I’m a woman. So I guess it’s just up to the individual.
- December 12, 2021 at 7:46 am #587832
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