- April 29, 2017 at 4:33 pm #53039cdheavenFounderRegistered On: September 18, 2015Topics: 1412Replies: 3954Has thanked: 0 timesBeen thanked: 6639 times
I’ve been traveling around this site for maybe two months now, and I have really struggled with how to talk because I don’t know what to make of my gender because I have never been able to talk to someone like me before. I hear terms like cross dresser and transexual but I don’t know what either really mean, even though I’ve read general definitions in places.
I was wondering: would any of you be willing to talk about your personal gender and why you choose to describe it with what label you prefer? I’d like to learn and talk more to everyone in a way that I hope is easy to understand. I have spent my life totally lost struggling to speak.
Thank you 🙂
- January 22, 2021 at 6:09 am #436718GenevïéveLadyRegistered On: July 28, 2020Topics: 30Replies: 1342Has thanked: 11451 timesBeen thanked: 5539 times
Lesbian in a GB’s body. Not sure if there is a nomenclature for that…
- January 22, 2021 at 5:35 am #436712Polly StewartLadyRegistered On: January 2, 2021Topics: 13Replies: 957Has thanked: 1361 timesBeen thanked: 3309 times
Gender wise, I am male still with my dangly bits but have had, it appears, a feminine animus all of my life. In my later years I got so tired of apologising for my assigned gender… so very tired and angry for all of the grief my gender has/does cause! I found myself wishing, nay, hoping something would happen to bring on a complete change for me… and it did… in a way I never expected but a way I now thank with my whole heart! A traumatic brain injury…
Not only did it give pause and focus my mind on me but I’m sure something retired itself… I’m smiling as I write this ‘cos it smacks of wishful thinking… doesn’t it?
However, Harriet was born January 2017 before morphing into Polly. Harriet was the persona of what one would describe as one’s favourite aunt but by morphing into Polly she has become the me who I have longed to be. I’m not the most feminine looking women as I’m sure you would agree but my feeling of femininity is strong and Polly has a wicked sense of fun and humour. I love Polly and my animus has an equilibrium that’s been denied over the years. My wife always comments that when I’m dressed en femme she sees a sparkle in my eyes that’s not there otherwise.
Returning to the question however, how does one describe exactly what gender one is? Translesbian (heterosexuality is strong in this one), transfeminine was used by another Sister here, transsexual (if I have the requisite surgeries), even ‘lipstick lesbian’ somehow feels right. Sorry to leave you as undecided as before but that’s the nature of this particular beast…
From my heart xxx Polly
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- May 13, 2020 at 9:57 am #343132Brianne PalmerLadyRegistered On: May 10, 2020Topics: 0Replies: 21Has thanked: 0 timesBeen thanked: 61 times
Hi Sam i am a transvestite i wear womens clothes 24/7. I have been married twice trying to deny my sexuality but gave up trying to figure it out. I was picked up by a gay man when i was 15 years old and quickly realised that yes this was the real me but like an awful lot of men of my era homosexuals were really scorned so tried to bury it. Now i live alone i can do what i have always wanted and thats to dress as a woman and behave as a woman. I now have an extensive wardrobe of shoes, dresses , Skirts and blouses plus all the accesseries and make up. I have had a homosexual lover for the last 11 years and we are so happy.
- April 26, 2020 at 9:05 am #338809Stephanie BassPrincess - AnnualRegistered On: November 30, 2019Topics: 12Replies: 1779Has thanked: 20794 timesBeen thanked: 5910 times
Hi Sam what a great subject. Ive been a crossdresser most of my life and still consider me as that . I have never and never will have the wants of a man in my bed . I consider myself a Lesbian trapped in a mans body (HA HA) . I love my wife of 37 years and wouldn’t trade our friendship love and girlfriendship for anything in the world . And don’t get me wrong nothing against you girls that like your men friendship in the bedroom . That’s just not for me . I just love dressing up as a women in every way especially when wife helps teach me in the womanly ways and she gets crazy sometimes using pads and Tampons wow anyway . But dressing as a woman is like my wife says my attitude changes to a more peaceful person that she likes as well even more some times than hubby .But no wants to go any farther than crossdressing as my wifes girlyfriend. Hugs to all.
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- April 26, 2020 at 8:48 am #338806Bianca EverdeneLadyRegistered On: April 11, 2017Topics: 25Replies: 789Has thanked: 3182 timesBeen thanked: 3215 times
I keep it simple. I know I am male, and heterosexual. I totally get why wanting to cross dress calls this into question but I know what I am ?
No offence to those who do feel trapped in the wrong body, or homosexual, bisexual, pansexual etc, totally agree it is an individuals choice on how they identify, and their sexual choices, live and let live.
I am simply a man who loves all things feminine and want to experience all the wonderful things which are traditionally denied to us but totally acceptable for women to do. Different hairstyles, wigs, make up, skincare, being hairless, much better clothing choices and fabrics, accessories, jewellery, wonderful choices in footwear, letting my hidden feminine side out to flourish giving a more calm balanced personality.
A male heterosexual in a dress, wig, heels, make up, gorgeous smooth skin, why not?
I know people perhaps have more of a problem with it if I can’t be pidgeonholed into a category ( he must be transgender, homosexual, transsexual etc) but I know what I am and refuse to be labelled as something I am not.
Sorry if my simple assertion offends anyone, but it’s me! I know, I’m not in denial, I’m me!
- April 26, 2020 at 6:44 am #338779Betti Jean HarlowLadyRegistered On: April 17, 2017Topics: 0Replies: 12Has thanked: 3 timesBeen thanked: 8 times
- April 26, 2020 at 4:10 am #338756DeLoraLadyRegistered On: October 15, 2019Topics: 63Replies: 289Has thanked: 929 timesBeen thanked: 1609 times
Personally I got tired of trying to apply a label to myself. It has taken me 40 years to break free of the cisgender male Pidgeon hole that I was born into. I am reluctant to stuff myself into some other Pidgeon hole that will again place limitations on what is acceptable for me to do, feel and think. I did spend many years trying to find a label that fits, gay? Trans? Trans lesbian? Gender fluid? Bi-gender?.. nothing seems to quite fit. I guess for the sake of describing myself to others I would have to call myself a crossdresser* or transvestite*. With the “*” being further discuss as to what that actually means.
I do not dress as a woman, I dress in a way that answers a call from some component of myself. Dressing in clothes that are traditionally considered female is, for me like getting into a freshly made bed, I feel peace, calm and right. I do not reject masculinity, but I need to also embrace this other facet of my self.
In short, I don’t know what I am and as my counselor would say “that’s ok”.
If you find a label that fits, that’s awesome, but don’t try to force yourself to fit a label. Be you, be proud of who you are!
- April 26, 2020 at 4:09 am #338755Sally DrinkwaterDuchessRegistered On: July 15, 2019Topics: 19Replies: 294Has thanked: 74 timesBeen thanked: 1118 times
I have just had a look and can confirm that I have all the equipment to be male, then I looked in the mirror and definately saw a woman looking back at me.
I guess my gender must be an inbetweeny?
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- April 26, 2020 at 3:50 am #338750Diane RakersLadyRegistered On: August 18, 2019Topics: 4Replies: 715Has thanked: 1255 timesBeen thanked: 2361 times
I consider myself a man. What I have found is that while it is still exciting to dress as a woman, or in my case under dress, what I have found is an inner peace and emotional comfort. Being or becoming a woman is my “go to” place for solace. As I develop my womanhood I see it as my very special place, I see it as my refuge from the world.
I also found how much I truly enjoy the things of a woman. My favorite item is a bra. It makes me feel so feminine. It makes me feel like I have transformed into a woman.
- April 26, 2020 at 3:28 am #338747AnonymousRegistered On:Topics: 0Replies: 6Has thanked: 0 timesBeen thanked: 18 times
Will really I am bi also as I’ve been with both sexes i admit I love being sexually with a woman I was married for ten yrs no longer an though. But honestly I truly feel happier and at peace when I ive had encounters with Guys dressed in lingerie doing and being treated as the woman I’ve know I truly am inside since a young boy.
- April 26, 2020 at 3:17 am #338744AnonymousRegistered On:Topics: 0Replies: 6Has thanked: 0 timesBeen thanked: 18 times
I can say I know exactly what you are saying but for me I really feel I’m truly a girl inside. I’m wanting to become who I’m meant to be and live as her. When it come to sexual encounters I truly love and feel free. I love being treated and being the girl I am. I don’t know anybody that cross dress like no friends ect, actually it’s been I secret I’ve kept and carried since a 5yr old boys. The only times I’ve told people is When I’ve had sexual encounters.
- November 28, 2017 at 5:40 am #75198AnonymousRegistered On:Topics: 5Replies: 22Has thanked: 2 timesBeen thanked: 49 times
I’m a heterosexual male. I’ll always be Man in a dress. I have no desire to be female. Tons of body hair. Tons of facial hair. Even the world’s great make up artist couldn’t get me to pass as female. I do not have this desire.
I like to dress like a female. Hair and make up, but this is pretend. I’m am happy being male, but I love Donna. She keeps me calm. She relaxes me. She makes me smile, and I need something to smile about at the moment.
I would like to be able to dress more often, tell and show my friends, but this is only to tell them that I am a crisscrossed, with no intention or desire to transition. I just like too pretend I’m someone else for a while.
- November 27, 2017 at 4:50 pm #75091cdheavenRegistered On: September 18, 2015Topics: 1412Replies: 3954Has thanked: 0 timesBeen thanked: 6639 times
I’m bi-gender. I was born male, but feel more female. I’d love to live as a female 24/7 but can’t because of my job. I don’t want to use hormones to appear more female because sometimes I like letting my male side out. The only surgery I’d like to have is breast enhancement.
- October 25, 2017 at 4:12 pm #70769SarahRegistered On: October 9, 2017Topics: 1Replies: 8Has thanked: 3 timesBeen thanked: 8 times
For brevity, when I came out to a few friends and family I referred to myself simply as gender nonspecific. I fully embrace both sides and find myself sliding along the scale fairly fluidly. My wife and daughter know, and are very loving and accepting so I can dress somewhat freely at home, but there are times when I want more.
I have to hold back the feminine side those times I have to interact with the world. Because of this I find that it becomes more of a need. I do small things; shaving my legs, painting toenails, growing out my fingernails. Small, almost unnoticeable touches to keep a connection into each world. I would love to be able to wear heels with my best suit and a flowing blouse underneath when going out, or painted nails and flats. Perhaps a pencil skirt and polo shirt and off to work. A constantly variable mix from from fully femme to fully masculine. I am comfortable with myself at all points in between, now I just need to world to be too.
- October 25, 2017 at 3:48 pm #70768Amanda SandersLadyRegistered On: October 16, 2016Topics: 2Replies: 17Has thanked: 5 timesBeen thanked: 27 times
If I had to give myself a label I would say Translesbian, It took a long time to realize I was not just a CD but trans. I have not done anything about it but if I did (and it’s way too late now) I would be a woman into other women.
- November 27, 2017 at 7:08 pm #75108melissa la quintaDuchessRegistered On: September 29, 2016Topics: 3Replies: 100Has thanked: 585 timesBeen thanked: 242 times
Hi Amanda: Your post really pushed a button for me. I would probably describe myself the same way. As a trans lesbian, I find that I am attracted to both genetic women and trans women, including cross dressers. Thanks for inspiring me to identify my sexuality more accurately. Hugs, Melissa
- October 25, 2017 at 11:46 am #70719Tina EnglandLadyRegistered On: August 4, 2017Topics: 5Replies: 19Has thanked: 0 timesBeen thanked: 27 times
This is an interesting question. Recently there was a works on line questionnaire, with a question about your sexual persuasion
Heterosexual; Homosexual ; Bi sexual ; other
I ticked “Other”
Not sure if it had Cross dresser or Transsexual I would have ticked either of them. Transsexual is according to the world of Google “a person who emotionally and psychologically feels that they belong to the opposite sex”
Currently I feel that I like and enjoy wearing woman’s clothes, but am sexually excited by females.-(eg my wife) So not sure if there is a word for this situation. Nearest I think is Cross dressing.
- October 25, 2017 at 12:36 pm #70743Julie GlassworksLadyRegistered On: May 24, 2017Topics: 3Replies: 50Has thanked: 171 timesBeen thanked: 113 times
Oh Tina, there is much room for confusion with us girls…
the ‘problem’ is that sex (chromosomes) and gender (how we choose to act), and sexual orientation (who we choose to be intimate with) are three separate things and don’t necessarily influence each other – society doesn’t get this… and so, they don’t know what to do with us.
Gender is a social construct, there is nothing inherently male or female, only how society assigns things – boys = trucks, girls = dolls, etc. Judith Butler talks about this a lot and though I don’t get much of it, the ideas seem completely right to me.
I opt for gender fluid if I have to label, though really I just feel that the more I embrace the femme and reject the masc, the happier I am.
- October 25, 2017 at 9:10 am #70707Maria TroupLadyRegistered On: October 20, 2017Topics: 2Replies: 47Has thanked: 56 timesBeen thanked: 74 times
- September 30, 2017 at 4:46 am #68053donna misteriosaLadyRegistered On: September 27, 2017Topics: 4Replies: 39Has thanked: 375 timesBeen thanked: 106 times
I’m a heterosexual closet cd-for me it’s all about the clothes. I love wearing my favourite lingerie, a firm girdle, long line bra, pantyhose and slip. I own one leather dress, a PVC pencil skirt and a pair of shiny leggings. Being a closeted cd, my opportunities to dress are few and far between. The few times that I have ventured outside, my lingerie has been hidden under my male winter clothes. My ultimate goal is to one day dress as a complete woman, sexy lingerie, a beautiful dress, tall boots, big hair wig (love the 50s/60s up style hairdos), makeup, and nail polish. Then to walk outside and enjoy the feeling. To ease my nerves, this dream would have to happen in another city during one of the many pride parades in our country-to be invisible among the crowds and fellow gurls.
- September 23, 2017 at 9:28 pm #67162Jaime ParrisContributing EditorRegistered On: July 3, 2017Topics: 5Replies: 35Has thanked: 2 timesBeen thanked: 87 times
On the sign-in sheet at the transgender support group that I attend, I have been putting down “gender non-conforming”. This is still new to me. I don’t know how far I want to take it. Lately, I have been comfortable with the idea of having breast implants. Mostly, I like to keep it simple and say “transgender”. Occasionally, I have someone quibble with me using that term since I am only crossdressing and not transitioning.
- October 25, 2017 at 10:10 am #70713DuchessRegistered On: September 29, 2016Topics: 3Replies: 100Has thanked: 585 timesBeen thanked: 242 times
I think we’re all included somewhere under the broad transgender umbrella. I belong to a transgender community organization in my area, and crossdressers are warmly welcomed at their events. When I dress, I am “she” or “her.” When I am in male persona, I don’t care what I’m called.
- September 23, 2017 at 11:46 am #67122cdheavenRegistered On: September 18, 2015Topics: 1412Replies: 3954Has thanked: 0 timesBeen thanked: 6639 times
For me its complicated. Inside I am two and one. My goal is finding my center and accepting who I am. I would love to be a woman full time but think I would miss some things. I think socially we were all socialized and raised as males. The feminine part for me is learned and I cherish my feminine side. I think in the spectrum I fall in the middle and find clarity in that. I think for me it’s integration not in the binary male and female. For me I feel like a third sex, physically male mentally more female and empathic. I’ll never fully be a woman and never fit male stereo types. For me “none of the above” because in my heart I’m both. Although with my wife I feel a bit like a lesbian with similar mixture of male and female but with male hormones and genetalia. I’m ok being the “third” sex. I just strive to be who I am and overcome male stereotypes and roles.
- September 23, 2017 at 10:58 am #67114AnonymousRegistered On:Topics: 18Replies: 20Has thanked: 0 timesBeen thanked: 128 times
Like Marianne, I identify as someone with a two-spirit gender. Sometimes male, sometimes female, I enjoy expressing both sides of my personality. I’m fortunate in that I have a loving an supportive wife, so I get to express both genders socially, a situation that is quite fulfilling.
- September 13, 2017 at 8:53 pm #66145Cynthia DuboisLadyRegistered On: August 17, 2017Topics: 13Replies: 74Has thanked: 74 timesBeen thanked: 354 times
Sorry, screwed up my explanation slightly. When I say “transitioning” I mean in the sense of biologically transitioning to another sex. You can transition without surgery to be more perceived to be a certain gender.
- September 13, 2017 at 8:44 pm #66143Cynthia DuboisLadyRegistered On: August 17, 2017Topics: 13Replies: 74Has thanked: 74 timesBeen thanked: 354 times
I’m a cultural anthropologist, so forgive me if this is a bit “nerdy.” There is a difference between sex and gender, which are not the same thing as many mistakenly think. Sex is a biological condition predicated on your reproductive organs. It’s the physical “equipment” you are born with, so to speak. This is what those of us who want to be a different sex seek to change through surgery and “transitioning.”
Gender is a social category, that really has nothing to do with your sex. You don’t need any surgery to change your gender. Gender is how you present yourself socially, and how others perceive you socially. In the West, we have been conditioned for thousands of years to believe that there are only two genders, depending on which sex you were born. This is totally false. There are as many genders as a society is willing to recognize, either formally or informally. That is why it is not uncommon for other cultures to have three, four, or more genders, each of which are accepted by that society as being a perfectly normal gender.
For myself, my sex is male (until further notice), but my gender is very much feminine. When asked for gender, I always put down female, unless they are specifically asking about my sex for some reason (for instance, I’m getting a medical procedure). Socially, I consider myself a woman, and want to be perceived as such, so that is my gender.
Anyway, that’s the academic answer to your question at least.
- August 5, 2017 at 3:26 pm #62135MarianneAmbassadorRegistered On: May 20, 2017Topics: 11Replies: 466Has thanked: 272 timesBeen thanked: 793 times
I have dressed most of my life. Ever since praying to God to let me wake up as a girl in my evening prayers at age six or seven, I have repeatedly encountered situations in my life there I felt I would be better of as a woman. Now at age 52 , I have let Marianne take conciderably space in my life and tend to call myself two-spirited as I’m usually equally comfortable in both roles. Recently as I filled in a form,and there were more alternatives than male or female I chose both.
- August 2, 2017 at 4:23 pm #61878Zoe KayRegistered On: June 19, 2017Topics: 3Replies: 46Has thanked: 95 timesBeen thanked: 76 times
This is such a great question!
Like many of the ladies here, I am not a big fan of labels since they become just another box to be put in. Also, we end up having to answer (somehow) for whatever views seem to be common or dominant in that box. Each of us has our own special feeling and understanding of our gender, even if you’re still figuring it all out.
I am a crossdresser who lives my life in the outside world as a man, but even then I have a very strong anima so she shines through without me even realizing it. As time has gone on and I have taken gender identity tests, journaled about it all, and observed myself, I realize I am gender fluid and have been I have been all of my life. This is not something I share with anyone but my wife and a few very close friends because I really don’t feel like having to explain myself to anyone. Anyone who is even halfway observant would probably guess it anyway so no need to bother.
And the fluidity is not predictable nor do I know how long it will last or what my gender balance will be. Sometimes in 80/20 masculine and I feel very butch…while wearing the silky panties I put on that morning. Sometimes its 80/20 feminine and I’m stuck wearing suit and aching to put on a dress, do my makeup, shave my legs, put on a wig and heels (plus jewelry which I buy when I’m feeling girly). Sometimes its 70/30 or 60/40 either way and sometimes its 50/50 and it can last for hours or days. In many cases, especially at work, I will shift between dominant masculine/feminine based on whatever is wisest in the situation. In the best of cases, the man and woman in me are integrated and I feel like I can see the world in ways that others around me cannot.
And this is the part that is so important to me and is far beyond whatever I am wearing or how I am presenting; its about how I feel and think in those moments; the emotional and mental aspects that make me feel so alive – so much like me! It gives me a perspective that allows me to see solutions and paths where others don’t – its almost like a superpower!
As time goes on, I find myself less interested in trying to cover up how I feel in any of these situations because its me! Thankfully, I have a very loving and understanding wife who also sees these shifts in me and loves me wherever my gender flows.
Regardless of whether I feel like a woman or man, I remain attracted to women and specifically my wife. Its funny though how it manifests when we are together. Often in the morning I feel very womanly so I snuggle close to her and she tells me it feels very much like a “lesbian love embrace.” She loves it so its great. When I’m feeling like a man, well…you know what that dynamic is like! 😉 And even when I am dressed to the nines, I am still attracted to her. Everyone is different and beautiful in their own way so your experience and feelings will be yours and yours alone.
I stopped spending time trying to figure out the “why” of my gender and spend a lot more time now just being me and enjoying the flow of it all.
- August 2, 2017 at 4:47 pm #61883DuchessRegistered On: September 29, 2016Topics: 3Replies: 100Has thanked: 585 timesBeen thanked: 242 times
Zoe: Wow, you nailed so much of what I’ve been experiencing but could not quite articulate. One thing that really hit home for me is how loving and accepting your wife is. My wife tolerates my crossdressing but had decided she won’t sleep with me while I’m wearing my femme sleepwear (which I do every night). I would LOVE to be able to cuddle and snuggle with her when I’m in bed and in my womanly persona. Sigh…
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- August 2, 2017 at 12:41 pm #61870LindiRegistered On: July 21, 2017Topics: 2Replies: 9Has thanked: 1 timeBeen thanked: 25 times
I started being a part-time closet cross-dresser last year, and now I notice that my Lindy side is taking over more all the time. I will even dress at work this winter; women slacks and jeans. What label do I put on myself, I don’t know. At this moment, I describe my gender as being in a state of constant confusion, and change. Hugs, Lindy
- July 2, 2017 at 8:59 am #58921Stef SmithDuchessRegistered On: April 24, 2017Topics: 1Replies: 72Has thanked: 4 timesBeen thanked: 136 times
I m a male crossdresser
i love my maleness and my love to wear sexy clothes
i love pretty feet and sexy toes and nail polish
i llove sexy lingerie
i m happy as a man that loves sexy styles that male wardrobes dont have
now that i wear womens jeans they fir better feel better and make me feel better
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- May 19, 2017 at 3:24 pm #55166cdheavenRegistered On: September 18, 2015Topics: 1412Replies: 3954Has thanked: 0 timesBeen thanked: 6639 times
Thank you all so much for your insights! This has really helped me explore my gender in ways that are concrete and make sense to me. Woman and man never felt right to me, nor male or female. It’s been hard to define because of that. I even figured out some pronouns finally. Nothing has ever felt right. I’ve gone by he, she, and they. I think xe/hir suits me well. It makes me feel like my own person. They pronouns made me feel…undefined and genderless. I’m full of gender. It’s just my own and outside what the majority of people know in the US.
- May 19, 2017 at 6:01 am #55132Bobbi ScottRegistered On: April 25, 2017Topics: 4Replies: 29Has thanked: 25 timesBeen thanked: 139 times
Hi girls, nice chat going on here. I do think the term “gender fluid” could describe many of us. Most of the time I live and express in masculine ways, after all, I’ve had a lifetime of practice. But there are times, more and more frequently, when Bobbi is such a powerful need that she demands to see the light of day. Once I came to fully accept that I am both man and woman and came out to my significant other I’ve been granted the heavenly opportunity to refine and develop my feminine side. It is truly the best time of my life and I’ve never felt so happy. I am trans-gendered and just accept it for what it is.
- May 19, 2017 at 2:54 am #55127Rebecca JonesLadyRegistered On: May 8, 2017Topics: 7Replies: 40Has thanked: 18 timesBeen thanked: 38 times
Brilliant question and one that has made me think really hard. If i had to describe my self it would be a crossdresser withthought to go further but still working on how far and how fast. I have limitations from partner so cant go all the way even if i wanted.
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- May 19, 2017 at 2:49 am #55126Betti Jean HarlowLadyRegistered On: April 17, 2017Topics: 0Replies: 12Has thanked: 3 timesBeen thanked: 8 times
I know I was meant to be a women, I love doing my nails and makeup. I love feeling soft and silky. I love wearing bra’s, panties and nylons. I get excited buying dresses and new tops to wear. Unfortunately I have only been out a few times dressed and would love to go shopping dressed as the women.
- May 13, 2017 at 2:36 pm #54509Rebecca JonesLadyRegistered On: May 8, 2017Topics: 7Replies: 40Has thanked: 18 timesBeen thanked: 38 times
I am a man who loves to feel feminine. But its a feeling thats growing and who knows where it will go. I am asking myself lots of questions at the moment. So as for where i go i dont know but i do know that i need to be Rebecca more and to take Rebecca out in public.
- May 13, 2017 at 10:01 am #54478AnonymousRegistered On:Topics: 1Replies: 7Has thanked: 5 timesBeen thanked: 16 times
I’ve been thinking about this too. For now its enough for me to know that within me there is the man I’ve always been, but also parts of me that aren’t masculine and haven’t been able to be expressed.
Of the labels I’ve encountered I’m not really transanything, I don’t want to replace my masculine side, but to suppliment it. The label I like best is “Two Spirit” which feels right to me. Both are part of me, even if they are contradicions are valid.
- May 13, 2017 at 4:01 pm #54518MacKenzie AlexandraAmbassadorRegistered On: May 20, 2016Topics: 45Replies: 572Has thanked: 145 timesBeen thanked: 1284 times
You have highlighted several interesting points with which I agree. I am in a similar position and my own thoughts and feelings do align closely with yours. Though I do not describe myself as two spirited, I do understood how such a description is apt in our cases.
Thanx for sharing.
- May 9, 2017 at 2:48 pm #54018AmbassadorRegistered On: May 20, 2016Topics: 45Replies: 572Has thanked: 145 timesBeen thanked: 1284 times
This is a complicated question. I have spent many hours over the past year in reflection on that very idea. At the moment, this is where I stand
I am a man and I don’t want to be a woman. I am simply seeking harmony between my masculinity and femininity. I am as comfortable wearing a suit and tie as I am wearing a dress and heals. It as about what is cofor table and feels right for me.
- May 9, 2017 at 2:03 pm #54013RoseLadyRegistered On: September 15, 2016Topics: 13Replies: 619Has thanked: 89 timesBeen thanked: 315 times
Of course that would be OK, Melissa. But thank you for asking first.
Has she registered on here and joined the Wives and Significant Others forum? Perhaps having a community to support and help her work through her feelings would be beneficial, just like it’s been for us.
- May 9, 2017 at 10:43 am #54000RoseLadyRegistered On: September 15, 2016Topics: 13Replies: 619Has thanked: 89 timesBeen thanked: 315 times
Much like Heather, I’m not a big fan of labels. That said, a label can be powerful when applied to oneself — especially if that label explicitly places you into a “minority” group. As you alluded to, though, one of the big problems with labels, even the ones we apply to ourselves, is that oftentimes they mean different things to different people.
To most of the world, I identify and present as male. I dress as a male, I use a male name, and when given the opportunity to choose a gender I choose male – even when the choices presented have options beyond the typical binary male/female.
To a select few, though, I identify myself as gender fluid. The group is pretty small, especially outside of this forum. My wife, kids, and a small handful of friends. (And none of those friends live nearby; I’m not sure if that’s a coincidence, or if I felt “safe” coming out to them because they’re not able to “judge” me in person.) For me, my gender isn’t a binary choice of male or female. My gender expression, and how I feel inside too, is always a “mix” of male and female; the exact percentage (or whatever you want to say) if that mix varies from time to time. My toenails, for example, are just about always painted (currently purple, but I need to re-do them). I only wear panties. I only wear women’s jeans, unless I’m doing yard work or some other messy job like painting.
At home, I allow the “mix” to show a lot more. I wear nightgowns around the house, rather than the gym shorts I used to wear. I sometimes put on lipstick, even if my face has a day or two of stubble on it. I sometimes wear a dress and heels, put on a wig and do my hair, and/or put on a bra with my breast forms.
That said, I started off identifying as “just” a crossdresser – and as recently as this time last year, that’s all it was. I owned panties and stockings, and was pondering ordering my first bra, a skirt, and a pair of heels. It’s been a wild year for me, exploring and opening up to myself – and others, as a result. I couldn’t tell you at all why I waited until my mid-40s to start exploring. I wouldn’t change any of it, though, except maybe to start sooner.
I don’t know if any of that helps you at all. Hopefully it at least gives you some proverbial food for thought. My inbox is always open if you’d like to chat privately about anything I’ve said, or anything else for that matter.
- May 9, 2017 at 1:28 pm #54011DuchessRegistered On: September 29, 2016Topics: 3Replies: 100Has thanked: 585 timesBeen thanked: 242 times
Wow. What a great contribution, Rose. Very thoughtful, indeed. Your situation, as you described it, also closely aproximates my own. If it’s OK with you, I’d like to forward your post to my wife, who is struggling and can use all the help we can provide. Hugs, Melissa
- May 6, 2017 at 4:10 pm #53709Registered On: September 18, 2015Topics: 1412Replies: 3954Has thanked: 0 timesBeen thanked: 6639 times
Well basically started out to be a cross dresser. I am man who enjoys dressing and making up as a woman.
Basically this relieves a lot of stress for me.
However as I have moved along I started to enjoy my feminine side and have been developing more as a woman becoming more feminine and woman like when dressed.
I guess transgender best describes me since I have developed more than as a crossdresser.
I make a lovely woman when dressed and have been accepted as a woman when out.
Please read my profile and if you wish you can PM me with any questions. I would be happy if you would. I enjoy talking to others that enjoy cross dressing and checking out their feminine side.
- May 1, 2017 at 7:25 am #53185Registered On: September 18, 2015Topics: 1412Replies: 3954Has thanked: 0 timesBeen thanked: 6639 times
I think Heather hit the nail on the head. After all of the years of my life journey, Gina is now me, and I am Gina. I can’t really give myself a label. I am a bi-sexual man, who lives like a woman, and tries to get through life the best way I can. I take one day at a time with no expectations other than to treat others as I would like to be treated. What gender am I? I can’t really define myself.
- April 30, 2017 at 9:42 am #53127AnonymousRegistered On:Topics: 15Replies: 185Has thanked: 57 timesBeen thanked: 232 times
I try not to put labels on things Sam because that means you’re all in one category or under one heading and I don’t like that. Every person is an individual so what describes me doesn’t fit for you. I’m Heather, you can call me a crossdresser, transvestite, bisexual but at the end of the day I’m just Heather and I try to be the best and nicest Heather I can be. Now it’s up to you to figure out what Sam is. That’s the biggest struggle all people have, it took me thirty years of soul searching and beating myself up to come up with and accept WHO I am not what I am.
- April 29, 2017 at 5:45 pm #53046Registered On: September 18, 2015Topics: 1412Replies: 3954Has thanked: 0 timesBeen thanked: 6639 times
Hi Sam, read my profile and PM me , I look forward to hearing from you. hugs,Maddie
- April 29, 2017 at 4:51 pm #53042Registered On: September 18, 2015Topics: 1412Replies: 3954Has thanked: 0 timesBeen thanked: 6639 times
- April 29, 2017 at 4:49 pm #53040Registered On: September 18, 2015Topics: 1412Replies: 3954Has thanked: 0 timesBeen thanked: 6639 times
- April 29, 2017 at 5:32 pm #53045Registered On: September 18, 2015Topics: 1412Replies: 3954Has thanked: 0 timesBeen thanked: 6639 times
I also don’t care much what people think and am happy being myself. I may never be able to define my gender but I hope this site can teach me how to share it with people in my life.
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