This topic contains 12 replies, has 13 voices, and was last updated by  Dame Veronica Graunwolf 2 months ago.

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  • #168777

    Patty Pepper
    Registered On: February 9, 2019
    Topics: 8
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    My SO & I are discussing how best to refer to my fem-self, Patty, so we decided to ask all of you.

    How do you refer to your fem-self?

    How does your SO/GF refer to her?

    We’re thinking to just treat her as her own separate person. I mean she does have almost her own room in the house!


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  • #169187
    Registered On: May 20, 2017
    Topics: 9
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    I refer to myself as Marianne or simply me when out and about. My wife would rather have nothing to do with ‘that other person’.


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    • #169216
       Dame Veronica Graunwolf 
      Registered On: May 8, 2017
      Topics: 49
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      Marianne……..awww, I am so sorry for you, that your s/o doesn’t like you alter ego.

      Hugs……a warm beverage and 2 there, theres for you sweetie. Social Convention dictates that. Hope she mellows in time.

      Maybe  a survey about Objections what leave us with spots to try and improve upon.



  • #169009
     Tammie Swenson 
    Registered On: October 14, 2016
    Topics: 15
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    Here is a Twist,  on name, My SOGGF uses for me  in PUBLIC If she thinks I haven’t Dressed nor Acted in EVERYWAY FEMININE enough she calls me by my Male Name “Jammie” when I in Fully ENFEMME attire (which is mostly 24/7 except the few times I have to revert back to MALE attire for what ever reason.)……

    Occasionally, when she thinks I been in man mode to long she will do just the opposite. Especially if we are doing something with my family or her family I’m not out to yet, especially if we’ve had a disagreement about it, I think maybe she is trying to “Jumpstart” the so to speak

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  • #168967
    Registered On: January 24, 2017
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    Hi Patty,

    My femme name is Krista (a wonderful gift from my Mom).  Whether I am in either male or female mode I just refer to myself as me.  And when I am out in public, I have to switch back and forth often between male me and female me.  I can pass for female without any makeup or female attire.  Guess I am one of those lucky ones (not very tall, no Adam’s Apple, very little hair anywhere except on the top of my head. My hair is long reaching down to my bra strap so no need for a wig). So I can be at a coffee shop and one barista will think I am a female and another will think I am male.  The ones who refer to me as female, I never bother correcting.  I get confused looks from people daily.

    My wife, however, will correct everyone who refers to me as female, and she is quick to do so. While she knows about Krista, she has never called me by that and never will. She never wants to talk about my dressing (I’ve often tried to talk to her but she shuts it down).  She has seen me in female clothes pretty much everyday (I’m retired and she mostly works from home).  She will comment on my clothes only if she feels I am overdoing it. So far, I can get away with leggings, skinny jeans, bralettes, panties, hose, socks, androgynous tops & jackets, slippers, and boots.  But she draws the line at padded bras, skirts, and dresses.  So those go on when she is out (which is many hours every day).

    Loving Life being retired,

    Hugs, Krista

  • #168934
     Roberta Thomas 
    Registered On: September 15, 2018
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    My wife calls me Rob the diminutive of my female name Roberta.I think she shortenes it because she cannot bring herself to call me Roberta.She does like the name Roberta.A couple of months she rather touchingly said to me “I like Rob” which is her way of saying that she has great affection for my female alter ego.That was so deeply touching.She didn’t like my original female name Belinda which I personally have loved but Roberta is a lovely name too.The name Roberta just popped into my head one night as an alternative femme name and it has stuck with me ever since.I am also happy to retain the name in deference to my wife.She has been so wonderfully supportive of my crossdressing for the last three years.She deserves every respect.A truly amazing and lovely lady.

  • #168897
     Sandy Storm 
    Registered On: April 10, 2019
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    my wife and I normally just refer to my “femme” side, since I don’t feel like I am a woman trapped in a man’s body, when with a group we refer to me as Sandy, but just to try and keep my secret side a secret…but there is definitely a tingle when she calls me by Sandy

  • #168894
     stephanie plumb 
    Registered On: November 17, 2018
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    Until yesterday I referred to myself as Stephanie, or I when posting in the first person point of view. My alter ego refers to me as  Stephanie, she or her depending on the context.  My wife is not involved.

    But now I only refer to myself as I .

  • #168806
     Davina Evans 
    Registered On: March 23, 2019
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    My wife is the only one who knows I dress and she is only understanding. Davina is used in my head and online, otherwise no where else.  At the moment that does not worry me as I am happy with my situation and I am sure there are plenty of you out there that struggle from day to day.


  • #168803
     Michelle Liefde 
    Registered On: May 27, 2018
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    My wife will call me Michelle when I am dressed and expressing that part of myself.  Otherwise, she uses my homme name.  Though when she is talking about me as Michelle, she does make sure to use the feminine pronouns. As I am still figuring it all out it works for well.

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  • #168789
     Tiffany Alexis 
    Registered On: March 28, 2019
    Topics: 16
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    Now that the newness of being open with myself has worn off I just think and see me. Pretty much what I figure I’ll tell others when I start doing that. As to what they’ll call me, well, I’ll just call that “to be determined later”.


  • #168781
     Carolyne Sherman 
    Registered On: February 20, 2018
    Topics: 4
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    Oh Patty you may have opened Pandora’s box here asking about SO’s. 😂😂

    I refer to myself as Carolyne when dressed and as a woman. When discussing it with my wife its just like any other time refering to myself as in “I like that dress”. No real term for myself when speaking with wifey other than me, myself and I.

    My beautiful wifey on the other hand has many warm and caring names such as, The other woman, That bitch, or her favorite Your Carolyne Crap. No my wifey is not supportive but at least were open and honest with each other and keep moving forward.

    Good luck!


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  • #168778
     Dasia ThePhoenix 
    Registered On: April 12, 2019
    Topics: 4
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    I used to have an en homme name and then an en femme name. Pronoun sets, too. I didn’t like the duality so I transitioned amongst many other reasons.

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