- January 1, 2023 at 7:32 am #705626AngelicaLady
So I’m pretty sure this question has been asked before but I’m looking for advice on how to resist the urge to purge all my fem items whenever I’m feeling down. Luckily I was able to resist that urge the last time I felt it, and now I’m thankful for that because now that I’m in a season of my life where I’m wanting to crossdress again I don’t have to start from scratch and waste more money. In the past I unfortunately succumbed to purging all my fem clothing at least twice and I really don’t want it to happen again. So do any of you lovely ladies have any tips/tricks on how to resist the urge to purge? Thanks in advance!
- January 1, 2023 at 7:47 am #705629AnnaBeth BlackDuchess - Annual
I wish I had a good answer for you. I have always purge most all of my clothes for fear of being found, I’m not out to anyone and I believe it would totally destroy my life if I was found out. I have managed to hang on to a few things that are kind of plain and go unnoticed. Hugs Annabeth
- January 1, 2023 at 7:53 am #705630StephaniewyLady
I look at how much I have spent and know I will want to buy replacements at some time. Girl on a budget
- January 1, 2023 at 9:14 am #705643Jess SecretLady
In my case I love my romantic lingerie too much to toss anything, other than certain items that are old/torn/worn out. I love having a closet full of gorgeous lingerie to pick from every night in deciding what to wear to bed.
- January 1, 2023 at 11:44 am #705676Angela BoothHostess
If you know in your heart that dressing will not go away then remind yourself of that fact when you have ‘The urge to purge’. Just find a hidey hole for the clothes and carefully pack them away or store them somewhere safe. That is what I would suggest.
- January 1, 2023 at 12:24 pm #705691Meghan BrandiceDuchess
Advice to ALL CD sisters on this sight:
Don’t DO It!!!!!! Like Angelina who posted you will Always regret it and start all over – sometimes sooner or later4, and spend money all over again on wardrobe, makeup , shoes and wigs .
5 years ago I went through a major purge of clothes and shoes. Fortunately I saved my lingerie, foundations, wigs , but bought new clothes and shoes all over again at Goodwill and Target.
Never again- don’t do it, it the urge is the, bundle them all up , put the in bags or suitcases and hide them deep in your basement where you make it a pain to get at.
That worked for me
- January 1, 2023 at 1:38 pm #705714TerriDuchess
I first went out enfemme in 1978 or 9. It was a great experience. A few years later I threw everything out. Only to regret it. After that if I felt the urge to purge, I put all my items in the attic. I know that Terri will always be a big part of me. My keyword in my life is Balance.
- January 1, 2023 at 2:21 pm #705720Rozalyn RichardsLady
Over the last few years I’ve not purged my Fem clothes I’ve just put them in storage in suitcases in the loft, the only thing i need is sort out the out of date fashion’s and take them to the charity shops,
Hugs Rozalyn X
- January 1, 2023 at 2:24 pm #705722Kerri SmithLady
I live alone now. There is no reason to purge my clothes. Nobody cares about me so why shouldn’t I wear what I want?
- January 1, 2023 at 3:50 pm #705746Marlene RobertsLady
I care about you! Best, Marlene.
- January 3, 2023 at 9:37 am #706334
Umm, I think I can safely say 30,000+ CDH girls care about you Kerri.
- January 3, 2023 at 5:16 pm #706467Kerri SmithLady
I want to say a heartfelt thank you for your kind words. I’m going through a rough time in my life and it’s great to know I have both friends and family that do care and express it so well.
- January 3, 2023 at 9:57 pm #706546
You’re welcome Kerri. Anytime you want to chat send me a DM. Hang in there.
- January 4, 2023 at 2:45 pm #706730AnnaBeth BlackDuchess - Annual
You are among friends here at CDH. Hugs Annabeth
- January 1, 2023 at 2:35 pm #705732Sylvia55 LavenderLady
I have not purged because I was disgusted by my desire to wear feminine clothes for 40 years at least. I have at times reduced my feminine wardrobe by half or more to dispose of items that are worn out, ill fitting, out of style, and things I can’t imagine why I bought them. For me dressing in a feminine outfit and going shopping often, finally results in having 50 or more bras and panties, 30 panty hose or stockings, along with dozens of tops, skirts, dresses and lots of other feminine clothes and accessories. To make room for more I have yard sales and donate to the local hospital thrift store. Don’t purge to hurt yourself mentally. If you feel that urge just go through all your feminine items one by one and by the time you have done that you will have picked out an outfit or two you want to wear.
- January 1, 2023 at 3:20 pm #705741Michelle SkylarLady
I almost purged one time but I was too afraid someone would find my things in the trash. I put everything in boxes and put them on a shelf only I can reach. A few months later I put it all back where it belongs.
- January 1, 2023 at 3:48 pm #705745J JLady
I just accepted the fact that I enjoy dressing at that there is no reason not to if it makes me happy. Therefore, I have no need to purge. I don ‘t feel like dressing, i don’t and things just stay in my dresser until I do.
If you really feel the need, then just store them away.
- January 1, 2023 at 4:12 pm #705757Nancy GammsLady
I use to purge regularly which was easy when i just had lingerie and maybe a single dress or outfit. Once makeup and wig became involved and then a purse … It is just a big waste of money knowing I will end up doing it again.
- January 1, 2023 at 5:28 pm #705763Peta MariLady
I purged once. And it hurt so much,I have never done it since.
I do however regularly cull. Some gets cut up into bandages and tree ties. Others donated to charity.
I often toss out unused, stale, or old makeup, nail polish. It maybe a wrong color or tone that doesnt suit. Or…if I lose 1 earring, I throw the other out.(I don’t have real silver, or gold. So its no great loss.)
- January 1, 2023 at 5:38 pm #705767
Purging is one of the most awful things we do to ourselves. A double-dip of guilt. The last few times I felt the urge I would remember that and take the kinder approach – stowing everything in a safe out of the way place. Ready for the next time.
I’m happy to say I have no problem purging my male clothes. I’m gathering another batch for Goodwill right now.
- January 4, 2023 at 6:48 am #706600Anonymous
One of the smartest lady’s I know. You are a great friend.
- January 3, 2023 at 11:20 am #706362Ciao TopazLady
I’ve had panic attacks about my dressing that led me to purge. I always come back, though. Now when I have these thoughts I take a deep breath, put my things away and give it rest. My desire to purge is directly related to my struggle to balance my dual interests. I’m much more accepting of my femme side these days. Have a discussion with yourself and find internal acceptance. Best of luck.
- January 3, 2023 at 11:24 am #706365Michelle ClevengerLady
I did purge clothes but not as you may think. All the male clothes are gone. There is no way I am going back to wearing ugly male clothes again.
- January 3, 2023 at 12:22 pm #706376LeahBaroness
I am amazed at how many of us have purged clothes. I for one have never purged clothes.I do not see the pint or rationale as to why do it. A lot of the lingerie, clothing, makeup, forms, wigs are not cheap. I woudl hate to add up how much I have spent over the last 4 years!
All the more reason financially as to why NOT to purge. If you feel the need, box them up and put them away. Do NOT Throw!
- January 3, 2023 at 1:03 pm #706386Kelly LeeDuchess - Annual
Never had the “urge to purge” but still done it due to other reasons, moves. It’s hard to hide your stash when moving across the country with your parents or from europe to canada with just a two suitcases.
Luckily my stash never was that big so it wasn’t that much of a deal.
I also know that it comes back so I would never purge for that reason, it will come back.
Now I’m out to everyone, don’t care what other people thinks of my dress code. If they have a problem with it it’s really (by definition) their problem, not mine.
Also now I have way to much to even consider a purge other than take a pile of stuff I don’t use to Keystone Clothing Exchange
- January 3, 2023 at 1:05 pm #706388AnonymousLady
One tip is before you toss your stuff is to think about how difficult and how expensive it was to acquire all of your beautiful clothes. Sometimes that works and sometimes not and in my past case it depended on the amount of shame and guilt on my conscious at the time. The shame and guilt always won until I finally lived long enough to accept Michelle as a permanent and necessary part of my being. I purged more times than I can count over the years and acceptance was the only thing that stopped it. That was over six years ago and now my wardrobe is so big it would bankrupt me to replace it all.
My advice is to store your things away out of sight or easy access until you get over your depression and the desire to dress comes around again. We all know the desire always comes back like an old long lost girlfriend you never stopped loving.
- January 3, 2023 at 8:10 pm #706531ChloeCDuchess
Hi Angelica, Well, the first 2 times were not that hard. Significant changes in my life were coming and I thought, okay, I’ve had my fun, time to get serious and move on. I didn’t like it, but I knew I had to try. What helped was that I had purchased (strictly mail order) some items that weren’t exactly what I was expecting by looking at the catalog picture. And the first dress I bought (a yellow summery sheath) was just a tad too small (I can’t even imagine being able to fit it now!). So they were not that hard, tho I wish I had kept one or two things.
The 3rd time? Well, I didn’t,,, because I had learned my lesson from the first two purges. It was silly. I wasn’t going to magically change. I was me, every bit, and my transgender aspect was just as much me as any other part of my make up. So I didn’t.
Now, tho, I’m at the age where I’m seriously starting to just reduce as much of whatever things (okay, crap!) I’ve accumulated over the years as possible. Most of it are my general life things, not gender oriented, but I realize some items I’ll never wear again, I’ve just aged out of them. For example in general, 1 new male shirt comes in (gifted usually or my spouse buys it for me) and two go out. I really don’t need to burden my adult children with having to rent a truck to haul it all away. Same with my dress items. Things I love, I’ll keep for a long time, others I have less reason to wear, out they go.
- January 3, 2023 at 8:42 pm #706534
After purging twice and almost regreating it instantly I vowed to never do it again. Both times I lost things I missed and could never replace. And the cost of buying newer bigger and better each time was too much. I know now that it is a part of who I am. And I am not ashamed of myself. Now it never crosses my mind.
- January 3, 2023 at 8:44 pm #706535Lola CapriceBaroness
I haven’t been CDing for long yet I did go through one “urge to purge”. After thinking about the money and time I have invested I decided to store it all away out of sight in the attic of my house. I decided if it stayed there for a year and I didn’t retrieve it I would consider actually purging. 8 months later all my stuff was back in my closet. 😉
- January 4, 2023 at 7:42 am #706621Natalie JonesLady
Happy New Years to all us girls!
I’ve had at least three major purges and several minor ones in my 50 plus years of crossdressing. All at points in my life where I thought I was doing the right thing. Do I regret purging, of course but I don’t beat myself up over it. I wouldn’t have most of what I purged today anyway.
To be honest there are only a few items I wish I’d kept. When I would start back purchasing again it was always an exciting time and it felt like a new beginning. New fashions, new styles from my newly purchased panties to that up to date skirt.
What I spend on being a girl is important to me and I really don’t want to know how much I’ve spent through the years, but I will always be buying Natalie new pretty things. Because she deserves it!
All that said I do think the right thing to is put your stash in a safe place , out of site and hopefully get passed the urge to purge. Because we all know the desire to be the girl we are will never go away !
- This reply was modified 1 year ago by Natalie Jones.
- January 4, 2023 at 2:34 pm #706727Brittney AndrewsLady
I’ve never had to resist the urge to purge. Before I bought my first feminine item, a panty; I decided that if I was just going to throw it out after a short time, then I wasn’t going to buy it. That was late 2015 and my buying has grown each year. Currently I have a 510 femme item wardrobe, including that first panty; with more that I’ve bought from November til 12/30.
I went with the “All-or-Nothing” reasoning; 100% self-acceptance and self-commitment. I prefer to exchange, return, or donate if an item either doesn’t fit or I no longer want it; no longer wanting it is an extreme rarity. The only item that ends up in the trash is hosiery after it develops a significant run.
- The forum ‘General Chat “Life as it Goes On”’ is closed to new topics and replies.