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  • #378829
    Laura Lovett
    Participant
    Registered On: March 26, 2020
    Topics: 6
    Replies: 307
    Has thanked: 832 times
    Been thanked: 1264 times

    Hi ladies

    This is a question my wife has asked me, and, as far as I can see, there is no definitive answer – but I find this question real food for thought.

    I am really interested in your thoughts, as they pertain to where you see yourself going – maybe vs where you’d like to go with your dressing, and, if you’re anything like me, changes to that vision as life circumstances unfold.

    I’ll get the ball rolling:

    When first asked this question, I genuinely had no idea. I want to be able to choose my look on a day to day basis, and not feel any constraints to conform to some unwritten set of rules that I didn’t sign up for, and, in reality, do not exist.

    Seems reasonable to me!

    For me, it’s more than the clothes – I love the clothes, and there’s the entry point.

    I don’t like the look of a man in a dress on me – the look needs to be more complete – passing as a woman would be great, but looking acceptable to my own eyes is the goal.

    Once I tried it, I wanted to experience life dressed in my chosen fashion. That was the next level – I was not looking for validation from anyone else, just comfort in my fashion.

    I went for walks, trying but not always succeeding to avoid other walkers so that I didn’t offend them.

    As I encountered people and noticed that many smiled, and hardly anyone seemed offended, I broadened my horizons and went to shops and big towns.

    The reactions were broadly the same, except for a new one, which was interaction – people talking to me, and being complimentary and, less often, hostile.

    I was now experiencing some life – but needed more, and also began to crave further interaction.

    Where did I want to take this?

    I wanted to up my look – my makeup skills were poor, my dress sense suited me, but was very limited – although people seemed happy enough to take me as I was, I needed more from my femme experience.

    At this point, I wonder why?

    Most likely, I wanted the experience, but was still defining what that experience is. Like a genetic woman, I was discovering that the world of women’s fashion is a world of artistic creation, and, as with any art, you take a look at your early works, and decide that this is not an art for you, that you’re happy with where you are, or that there are exciting possibilities to explore.

    I am in the latter category – so many looks that Laura can have, so many things she could do, and so much potential for interaction and connecting communities.

    So where do I want to take this?

    I feel like I have unlocked a princess from her tower, and she is leading the way.

    There was a recent poll – which Disney princess would you like to be?

    I am so Rapunzel!

    Currently fresh out of the tower, still exploring, and searching for the meaning of lights in the sky which seem to relate to me, reliant on my emotional connections and inner feistiness, guided by a man who really has no clue where we’re going and is a bit of a lucky chancer, trying to avoid dangerous situations while taking risks, devoted entirely to protecting the princess.

    I had more fun with this question than I thought!

    Please feel free to mix a bit of daydreaming with the reality that you see – and have fun with this question too.

     

    How far do you want to take this?

    😍

    Love Laura

     

     

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    • #385234
      Heather Harrison
      Participant
      Registered On: August 3, 2020
      Topics: 6
      Replies: 73
      Has thanked: 429 times
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      Wow, great question and this is exactly where I’m at!

      I had my second session with my therapist, and she brought the subject of HRT up already. That kind of caught me off guard, but forced me to examine what I want.

      I’m still not sure how far I want to go, but it sure is one hell of a journey!

      Heather

       

      2 users thanked author for this post.
    • #381751
      Holly G
      Participant
      Registered On: August 25, 2015
      Topics: 12
      Replies: 121
      Has thanked: 53 times
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      Hi Laura, this is a great question and one my wife asks me constantly!  The problem we both always come back to is that Holly has never had true freedom to really see what I would do. Looking back, over the past 7 years, I went from very infrequent, but always wanting, to buying my own clothes, to going out for that lonely night walk hoping no one would see me, to going to a CVS while dressed, to finally getting up the confidence (although I was TERRIFIED!!!) to go to a VERY crowded mall dressed!! All experiences kept reinforcing my desires because they were all wonderful experiences. So over the years I’ve kept upping the ante and loving it! So…back to the present…where am I going to be satisfied??  I’ve tried for a couple years now to dig deep and answer this question. I keep answering with I would not ever transition, but again, the ONLY person in my life that knows that I dress is my wife, and she hasn’t ever seen Holly and doesn’t even know her name!  So again…IF Holly ever had full freedom to do as you described…decide how I wanted to present that day and just do it without concern of others thoughts, I’m not sure how often I’d be Holly or my male self.  And if I was Holly more often than not, would that turn into other thoughts?  It’s the biggest what if question we all face!

      5 users thanked author for this post.
    • #381180
      Diana W
      Participant
      Registered On: July 9, 2020
      Topics: 9
      Replies: 209
      Has thanked: 821 times
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      Great question!  I know I’m much more than just a man who likes to wear dresses.  I told my wife the other night I feel I’m 60% feminine, though I think the true number may be even higher than that.  I’m Dressed most of the time at home now.  But even when I’m dressed DRAB I still feel feminine.  I don’t just dress as Diana.  I AM Diana.

      I want to progress to makeup and a wig.  I want to go out Dressed one day in the future.  I don’t think I’m going to want to transition but who knows.  This seems to have progressed so far already in barely two months since I started.  The truth is at this moment I don’t know how far I’m going to want to go.  I’m just enjoying the journey.

      6 users thanked author for this post.
    • #381155
      stephanie plumb
      Participant
      Registered On: November 17, 2018
      Topics: 78
      Replies: 704
      Has thanked: 794 times
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      How far?   What a question…

      For now the only answer I have is the observation that no matter how far along our personal journey we go – it’s never enough, is it?

      I want to come back to this after a bit more introspection ……….

      Are we trying to reach that pot of gold at the end of the rainbow?

      “The road goes ever on and on. Down from the door where it began,  Now far ahead the road has gone, And I must follow, if I can,  Pursuing it with weary feet, Until it joins some larger way, Where many paths and errands meet, And wither then?  I cannot say.”

      (I hope i am not breaking any copyright laws here!)

      Stephanie P

       

       

      6 users thanked author for this post.
    • #380589
      Kay Anderson
      Participant
      Registered On: June 1, 2020
      Topics: 14
      Replies: 418
      Has thanked: 3117 times
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      When I think about the dressing up, many others here are light years ahead of me. I have great admiration for others who have come out to their families and often in public dressed up and passing. I would love to transition. But I am a two time cancer survivor and my markers are going up again. My oncologist told me that I will at some point need more treatment. No doctor would sign off for me to go on HRT or any elective surgeries.   

      So this is more than crossdressing for me. The clothes are nice but not at the top of the list. My makeup skills are novice at best. Yes I want more clothes and am practicing my makeup, but my priorities are more how I feel inside. I want to be more spiritual, I want to believe completely in myself as a woman. I want to heal old wounds that often come up and prevent me from living my full potential. I want that valve for the feminine energy flowing thru me to be wide open. I want to feminize my body as much as possible. Someday when I kick cancer’s butt again, I would like to live full time as a woman.

      Kay

      • #385242
        Heather Harrison
        Participant
        Registered On: August 3, 2020
        Topics: 6
        Replies: 73
        Has thanked: 429 times
        Been thanked: 294 times

        Hi Kay,

        I love what you wrote. Being a cancer survivor I have an idea what you are going through and send you my love and support.

        It is amazing how when we are forced to address our mortality, what we find important to us becomes more clear.

        Hugs,

        Heather

    • #378842
      Celeste Starre
      Participant
      Registered On: June 26, 2018
      Topics: 24
      Replies: 540
      Has thanked: 129 times
      Been thanked: 1335 times

      Fairly simple for me. I want to keep doing what I’m doing for as long as I can.

      5 users thanked author for this post.
    • #378840
      ANDREA RAVEN
      Participant
      Registered On: December 21, 2017
      Topics: 6
      Replies: 261
      Has thanked: 22 times
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      This is an interesting question that I suspect many of us have asked ourselves at some point. The truth of the matter, in my case, is I just don’t know. Several years ago I would have said I would be happy to be able to dress now and again, but as things progress we want to move onto the next level, going out, going shopping, going to a night club, having a meal out, I have now done all those things and want to do them more, but what else do I want? As I said, the truth is I don’t know, I would like to have the opportunity to be Andrea for three days or so, that has not happened as yet, but I know when that does happen three days will not be enough and I will want more. Will I ever go full time? I doubt it, but a few years ago I would have been happy with a couple of hours as Andrea, so the answer again is I don’t know, all I hope is wherever this journey takes me I shall be happy, and that’s all anybody could hope for………..

    • #378836
      Stephanie Kennedy
      Participant
      Registered On: March 15, 2019
      Topics: 9
      Replies: 599
      Has thanked: 3598 times
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      Hi Laura It is a good question to ask your self at any point in your journey. I have been pushing the envelope for years. I still enjoy pushing that envelope. I guess i am going to take it as far as i can without disrupting my present life style and relationships for now. I am it no rush but i should be considering my age. I know in my heart and mind i should of been born with a female body. Like so many here i have managed to survive for so long by using tools like denial and shame to put off being whole. I keep going back to a moment in time when it was possible and the opportunity was there to make things right . I chose to go with what i was told. It was the easiest and safest way to go. I paid the price for my decision back then, I have had to deal with depression, anxiety and everything that goes with trying to hide my true identity. Most of us have made the same decision and will pay the price one way or another. So it has come full circle. I have done everything that was expected of me given that male body. I have used and abused this male body to a point of no return. Trying to feminize it would not be impossible but very unlikely. The cost both economically and socially is much more than i would be willing to pay.  I am left with a sad answer I will take it as far as others will accept and go from there. Luv Stephanie

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