- < 1 year
- 2 years
- 3 years
- 4 years
- 5 years
- > 5 years
- April 16, 2019 at 1:02 pm #168965
Deanna LundAmbassadorRegistered On: March 28, 2019Topics: 37Replies: 140Has thanked: 314 timesBeen thanked: 226 times
How long did you remain hidden from SO before discovery?
The past few weeks have been a whirlwind for me. I’ve gone from no CD items to:
1 pr breasts
2 pr shoes
The problem is keeping them hidden from my wife. At the moment the wardrobe items are among other items in a seldom used closer, the other items in a dresser my wife detests, one wig is on top of said dresser but blocked from view. That’s my favorite wig and i don’t want it in a drawer
- July 10, 2019 at 2:40 pm #196687Danielle SilverfeatherParticipantRegistered On: May 22, 2019Topics: 3Replies: 5Has thanked: 14 timesBeen thanked: 17 times
Do not hide it from your wife because when you get caught and you will. She will wonder what other secrets. You have kept from and that can destroy a marriage.
- July 10, 2019 at 5:30 am #196584EmilyParticipantRegistered On: April 30, 2016Topics: 8Replies: 222Has thanked: 738 timesBeen thanked: 288 times
She never really “discovered “ my stash, but I have been dressing off and on for over 50 years. After I told her, I just stopped hiding stuff. She has gone through my closet and drawers a couple times to see if I’ve gotten anything new. Being more than a little OCD, I can tell when my things have been messed with. Still, we have come to an agreement of sorts in that we just don’t talk about it.
- July 9, 2019 at 6:33 pm #196516K SwimParticipantRegistered On: July 8, 2019Topics: 3Replies: 224Has thanked: 99 timesBeen thanked: 222 times
She never found my stash, but she saw my eBay purchase history 🙁
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- July 9, 2019 at 10:55 pm #196548Tiff AnyParticipantRegistered On: June 1, 2019Topics: 0Replies: 197Has thanked: 495 timesBeen thanked: 226 times
K Swim …… purchase history ….ouch 😟
- July 10, 2019 at 2:33 pm #196683K SwimParticipantRegistered On: July 8, 2019Topics: 3Replies: 224Has thanked: 99 timesBeen thanked: 222 times
As a computer expert, I was dumb enough to log in to my account on her laptop because she “wanted to buy something” and forgot to log out of my account. She went back in later and looked at the history. She did not approve at all and left me. eBay only holds a history of 2-3 years of purchase history, so I since created a separate account to use for buying the things not appropriate to my gender. The inappropriate stuff has now timed out on my main account….but I have also been single ever since.
- June 11, 2019 at 10:45 pm #184819
- April 22, 2019 at 10:09 pm #170891Amelia walkerParticipantRegistered On: January 18, 2019Topics: 1Replies: 113Has thanked: 131 timesBeen thanked: 133 times
- April 21, 2019 at 8:48 am #170369Deanna LundAmbassadorRegistered On: March 28, 2019Topics: 37Replies: 140Has thanked: 314 timesBeen thanked: 226 times
What is DADT?
- April 21, 2019 at 9:49 am #170375
- April 21, 2019 at 8:39 am #170366Donna HamiltonParticipantRegistered On: March 17, 2019Topics: 0Replies: 1Has thanked: 0 timesBeen thanked: 5 times
My SO knew on our second date We’ve been together for 2 years now . Donna’s clothes are laundered right along with hers . We are no where close in size so we don’t share. But she loves surprising me with new outfits
- April 20, 2019 at 3:18 pm #170141Caty RyanParticipantRegistered On: August 27, 2017Topics: 37Replies: 355Has thanked: 3 timesBeen thanked: 468 times
I told my first wife just before our first child arrived. She hated me being CD with a passion. She never saw much of my Caty gear cos it was stored elsewhere, tho I did leave a bra or two around at some stage.
My second wonderful partner found some jewellery about five years ago and after that it was the in/famous “DADT”.
That was until late 2017 until we had our house on the market and I was hospitalised with a non life threatening illness. She took it upon herself to go do a clean up in my big shed/mancave and altho no details ever emerged, I think she saw enough to really upset her.
This I regret very much, but as we all know, “we are what we are” and nothing can change that.
Since then the major portion of my lingerie now lives in my (separate) bedroom chest of drawers and she only puts my (male ) laundry on top of that and does not open anything… Least I don think she does!!!!
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- April 18, 2019 at 9:32 pm #169637Bethany DelaneyParticipantRegistered On: January 15, 2019Topics: 2Replies: 8Has thanked: 22 timesBeen thanked: 20 times
I’ve done it off and on for years since I wax a teenager actually the first one that found out was my current so. When we got back together after 31/2 years apart and she ended up coming back to Maine with me I was panicked as I had a couple drawers full of clothes and had finally accepted what I was. And I know she wouldn’t. Do I went upstairs at some point and moved them elsewhere. Needless to say a few days later she discovered them and I came clean. She thought it was an ex’s clothes at first and I Told her and promised to get rid of them. So I did some but kept a bag hidden at my storage and a year or so later when she wasn’t around I finally got them and washed and cleaned everything and went back to wearing them. She came back and I’d had everything hidden in the rafters of the back upstairs attic in a duffel bag needless to say she went exploring and searching and found that and texted as I was at a customers working about we had a problem. I got home and the woodstove was black inside and everything around smelled like burnt plastic etc. she burned everything. My clothes my silicon breastforms everything I found metal bra underwires and corset and bustier stays in the stove for months. I used to have some really nice clothes. So nothing for another year and a half or so other than occasional putting some of her stuff on briefly and latey were not getting along again and apart all the time again and I got a few clothes of my own so I can actually feel like myself. I want out of this relationship for many reasons but I don’t want to spend my life living a lie anymore either
- April 18, 2019 at 2:57 pm #169576Imogen MannParticipantRegistered On: March 2, 2019Topics: 2Replies: 135Has thanked: 53 timesBeen thanked: 177 times
I chose <1 year because I have never hidden it from my SO’s. I was up-front about it each time, and it never caused a problem. A few girls have said ‘Ok, well thanks but I’ll see you around’ and things stalled before they got started, but the way I see it, that was best for both of us.
- April 18, 2019 at 10:08 am #169493Ginger FlorentineParticipantRegistered On: April 17, 2019Topics: 2Replies: 12Has thanked: 2 timesBeen thanked: 25 times
- April 18, 2019 at 9:43 am #169484Laura LovettParticipantRegistered On: November 18, 2018Topics: 15Replies: 545Has thanked: 570 timesBeen thanked: 757 times
My stash was never discovered, but was known about for the simple reason that I let it be known I liked wearing women’s clothing very early on in our relationship, but kept it mostly hidden until recently.
After I fully came out, my wife said I should keep my clothes in my drawers for easy access, although still keep the dressing away from her and the family.
One small step, I hope…
- April 18, 2019 at 7:31 am #169444
- April 18, 2019 at 7:15 am #169438Anne PreussParticipantRegistered On: December 13, 2018Topics: 2Replies: 336Has thanked: 434 timesBeen thanked: 389 times
- April 17, 2019 at 12:06 pm #169231AnonymousRegistered On:Topics: 0Replies: 1Has thanked: 0 timesBeen thanked: 1 time
Have not been discovered yet…not confident enough to do that yet
- April 17, 2019 at 8:54 am #169194MarianneAmbassadorRegistered On: May 20, 2017Topics: 9Replies: 387Has thanked: 181 timesBeen thanked: 378 times
I never was ‘discovered’ but came out to my wife about two years into our marriage. At that point I yet had no things of my own but had borrowed hers as we were the same overall size. As I started acquiring my own female wardrobe, I openly placed the clothes alongside my male ones and put the used ones in the laundry basket. With time passing, my wife did however start to object seeing my women’s clothes around. She still knows I have them and use them but I keep them out of her sight on her request.
- April 17, 2019 at 2:21 am #169117Deanna LoweParticipantRegistered On: August 30, 2018Topics: 0Replies: 3Has thanked: 3 timesBeen thanked: 3 times
Hi there, I didn’t get discovered by accident, I just decided to come out socially first by putting myself on Twitter…so far so good, have a few girls saying hi. I figure it is a good way to come out. I am Deanna Lowe757 there. Maybe I will see you there! Hugs!!!
- April 16, 2019 at 5:36 pm #169044Nancy GammsParticipantRegistered On: March 1, 2017Topics: 11Replies: 137Has thanked: 12 timesBeen thanked: 202 times
- April 16, 2019 at 5:26 pm #169041Davina EvansParticipantRegistered On: March 23, 2019Topics: 1Replies: 82Has thanked: 46 timesBeen thanked: 143 times
I have been happily married for many years occasionally trying on my wife’s clothes. Then one day I decided to be ‘discovered’ dressed. I was a bit confronting but I knew my wife, and I now have drawers for both male and female clothes. Like Krista I have to keep things out of view of visitors, but the rest is progressing.
I your case I think my approach could be a death knell. Hasten slowly. After so many years married you know your wife and her reactions.
Stay safe, but be happy.
- April 16, 2019 at 2:15 pm #168996Deanna LundAmbassadorRegistered On: March 28, 2019Topics: 37Replies: 140Has thanked: 314 timesBeen thanked: 226 times
My SO is a 64 yo PK (preacher’s kid) her father was a Southern Baptist preacher and missionary who prayed using ‘thees’ & ‘thous’. If you under stand the significance of that you understand my problem. I have been moving our conversations in the direction and don’t know how she hasn’t noticed my all of a sudden eye for women’s fashion. She recently bought a jr. Dress which was too short for her so i jokingly suggested that i should try it on. She said go ahead, then immediately changed her mind.
I was in a church service once when a fill in preacher at her dad’s church said that all homosexuals should be shot through the head!
My wife’s father was not there but her mother was along with me, my wife and many other church members. My wife and her mother said he should not have said that but nobody stood up and challenged him when he said that like they should have.
I’m just babbling here but i appreciate everone’s thoughts and advice. I am concerned about thaf post What Do I Do Now (i think that’s what it was called. He told his wife and she’s devorcing him.
This Thursday, 4/18/19 is our 38th anniversary.
- April 20, 2019 at 3:29 pm #170149AnonymousRegistered On:Topics: 1Replies: 47Has thanked: 3 timesBeen thanked: 47 times
any statements made to the extreme using religion as a foundation is a blasphemy, God never separates anyone from faith, we are all Gods children.
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- April 20, 2019 at 3:50 pm #170166AnonymousRegistered On:Topics: 20Replies: 520Has thanked: 582 timesBeen thanked: 695 times
- April 16, 2019 at 1:42 pm #168976AnonymousRegistered On:Topics: 20Replies: 520Has thanked: 582 timesBeen thanked: 695 times
No hiding anything—SO put this on me !!! She laid a trick and I fell for it……….after the discovery, RULES were set………..
1. You have to decide your OWN style–own makeup–own cloths, etc.
2. You have to remain in male mode when weather is warm—no shaving—family is big, very close to them, and NO obvious femme behavior AT ALL !!!
3. When Fall comes, and Halloween approaches YOU can bring it all out—BUT—if you do this–YOU have to do it right !!! NO HALF attempts !!! ( She also enjoys it !!! )
So—didn’t have to hide anything away, just put away when the time comes.no issues with me……I get to plan out NEXT SEASON, during the summer months with new fashions, make-up I want to try, nail light ( I’m going to do my own nail sculpting this year)—lip plump’rs, and since I have SEVEN NEW wigs I haven’t even tried, don’t need any new wigs !!! I’ve got a long list of fashions in ebay, usually the ‘club’ type and want to do the crop top look this year, with a hi waist skater skirt………!!!
- April 16, 2019 at 1:20 pm #168972LeahParticipantRegistered On: June 13, 2018Topics: 1Replies: 61Has thanked: 543 timesBeen thanked: 98 times
SO knew up front about my dressing up, so no “getting caught”
- April 16, 2019 at 1:20 pm #168970KristaParticipantRegistered On: January 24, 2017Topics: 5Replies: 86Has thanked: 29 timesBeen thanked: 164 times
In my opinion, it is best to tell your significant other about “Deanna” before she makes the discovery on her own. Of course, there are wonderful stories of an SO discovering a stash and being totally supportive. Wouldn’t that be lovely if that were always the case? Unfortunately, more often than not, a stash discovery might lead to trust issues by your SO, and you doing a total purge and making promises that end up being difficult to keep. Eventually there will be damage to the marriage. But you are the only one who can make the decision of when to tell your SO.
My wife has known about “Krista” for many, many years. I have a huge collection of female items which I don’t have to hide. I used to have clothes laying around the room but my wife worried about guests stumbling upon them so now I have my clothes in the closets or chests of drawers (not really hidden but not on display either). And I don’t have to worry about wigs; my hair is long (down to my bra strap).
Wishing you all the best Deanna,
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