• This topic has 35 replies, 3 voices, and was last updated 4 years ago by Anonymous.
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    • #168965
      Deanna Lund
      Duchess

      Hi girls!

      How long did you remain hidden from SO before discovery?

      The past few weeks have been a whirlwind for me. I’ve gone from no CD items to:
      2 bras
      2 wigs
      1 pr breasts
      1 dress
      1 romper
      1 skirt
      1 top
      2 pr shoes

      The problem is keeping them hidden from my wife. At the moment the wardrobe items are among other items in a seldom used closer, the other items in a dresser my wife detests, one wig is on top of said dresser but blocked from view. That’s my favorite wig and i don’t want it in a drawer

    • #168970
      Krista
      Duchess

      Hi Deanna,

      In my opinion, it is best to tell your significant other about “Deanna” before she makes the discovery on her own. Of course, there are wonderful stories of an SO discovering a stash and being totally supportive. Wouldn’t that be lovely if that were always the case?  Unfortunately, more often than not, a stash discovery might lead to trust issues by your SO, and you doing a total purge and making promises that end up being difficult to keep.  Eventually there will be damage to the marriage.  But you are the only one who can make the decision of when to tell your SO.

      My wife has known about “Krista” for many, many years. I have a huge collection of female items which I don’t have to hide. I used to have clothes laying around the room but my wife worried about guests stumbling upon them so now I have my clothes in the closets or chests of drawers (not really hidden but not on display either).  And I don’t have to worry about wigs; my hair is long (down to my bra strap).

      Wishing you all the best Deanna,

      Hugs, Krista

    • #168972
      Leah
      Baroness

      SO knew up front about my dressing up, so no “getting caught”

    • #168976
      Anonymous

      No hiding anything—SO put this on me !!!  She laid a trick and I fell for it……….after the discovery, RULES were set………..

      1. You have to decide your OWN style–own makeup–own cloths, etc.

      2. You have to remain in male mode when weather is warm—no shaving—family is big, very close to them, and NO obvious femme behavior AT ALL !!!

      3. When Fall comes, and Halloween approaches YOU can bring it all out—BUT—if you do this–YOU have to do it right !!!  NO HALF attempts !!!   ( She also enjoys it !!! )

      So—didn’t have to hide anything away, just put away when the time comes.no issues with me……I get to plan out NEXT SEASON, during the summer months with new fashions, make-up I want to try, nail light ( I’m going to do my own nail sculpting this year)—lip plump’rs, and since I have SEVEN NEW wigs I haven’t even tried, don’t need any new wigs !!!  I’ve got a long list of fashions in ebay, usually the ‘club’ type and want to do the crop top look this year, with a hi waist skater skirt………!!!

      Mikki

       

    • #168996
      Deanna Lund
      Duchess

      My SO is a 64 yo PK (preacher’s kid) her father was a Southern Baptist preacher and missionary who prayed using ‘thees’ & ‘thous’. If you under stand the significance of that you understand my problem. I have been moving our conversations in the direction and don’t know how she hasn’t noticed my all of a sudden eye for women’s fashion. She recently bought a jr. Dress which was too short for her so i jokingly suggested that i should try it on. She said go ahead, then immediately changed her mind.

      [b]I was in a church service once when a fill in preacher at her dad’s church said that all homosexuals should be shot through the head![/b]

      My wife’s father was not there but her mother was along with me, my wife and many other church members. My wife and her mother said he should not have said that but nobody stood up and challenged him when he said that like they should have.

      I’m just babbling here but i appreciate everone’s thoughts and advice. I am concerned about thaf post What Do I Do Now (i think that’s what it was called. He told his wife and she’s devorcing him.
      This Thursday, 4/18/19 is our 38th anniversary.

      • #170149
        Anonymous

        any statements made to the extreme using religion as a foundation is a blasphemy, God never separates anyone from faith, we are all Gods children.

        • #170166
          Anonymous

          totally agree…………..unconditionally

          Mikki

    • #169041

      I have been happily married for many years occasionally trying on my wife’s clothes.  Then one day I decided to be ‘discovered’ dressed. I was a bit confronting but I knew my wife, and I now have drawers for both male and female clothes.  Like Krista I have to keep things out of view of visitors, but the rest is progressing.

      I your case I think my approach could be a death knell. Hasten slowly. After so many years married you know your wife and her reactions.

      Stay safe, but be happy.

      Davina

    • #169044

      I told my SO but purged.  Within the first year living together I put her shoes back in the wrong place and told her what lingerie I wore when she asked.  Since then she has found things a few times but my own things.

    • #169117

      Hi there, I didn’t get discovered by accident, I just decided to come out socially first by putting myself on Twitter…so far so good, have a few girls saying hi.  I figure it is a good way to come out.  I am Deanna Lowe757 there.  Maybe I will see you there!  Hugs!!!

      Deanna

       

    • #169194
      Marianne
      Ambassador

      I never was ‘discovered’ but came out to my wife about two years into our marriage. At that point I yet had no things of my own but had borrowed hers as we were the same overall size. As I started acquiring my own female wardrobe, I openly placed the clothes alongside my male ones and put the used ones in the laundry basket. With time passing, my wife did however start to object seeing my women’s clothes around. She still knows I have them and use them but I keep them out of her sight on her request.

    • #169231
      Anonymous

      Have not been discovered yet…not confident enough to do that yet

    • #169438

      This poll should have another choice “Have not yet been discovered”.   My CD stuff is stashed in my work area of the basement where my SO never goes.   So it’s been just about 2 years now since I’ve been closeted and dressing.

    • #169444
      Deanna Lund
      Duchess

      Anne P is correct.

    • #169484
      Anonymous

      My stash was never discovered, but was known about for the simple reason that I let it be known I liked wearing women’s clothing very early on in our relationship, but kept it mostly hidden until recently.

      After I fully came out, my wife said I should keep my clothes in my drawers for easy access, although still keep the dressing away from her and the family.

      One small step, I hope…

       

      Love Laura

      A

    • #169493

      Fortunately for me, I knew my SO supports LGBTQ+ rights but I was still nervous about coming out to her. I did it before I started to dress and within 10 minutes she was putting dresses on me.

    • #169576
      Anonymous

      I chose <1 year because I have never hidden it from my SO’s. I was up-front about it each time, and it never caused a problem. A few girls have said ‘Ok, well thanks but I’ll see you around’ and things stalled before they got started, but the way I see it, that was best for both of us.

      Imogen

      x

       

    • #169637
      Anonymous

      I’ve done it off and on for years since I wax a teenager actually the first one that found out was my current so. When we got back together after 31/2 years apart and she ended up coming back to Maine with me I was panicked as I had a couple drawers full of clothes and had finally accepted what I was. And I know she wouldn’t. Do I went upstairs at some point and moved them elsewhere. Needless to say a few days later she discovered them and I came clean. She thought it was an ex’s clothes at first and I Told her and promised to get rid of them. So I did some but kept a bag hidden at my storage and a year or so later when she wasn’t around I finally got them and washed and cleaned everything and went back to wearing them. She came back and I’d had everything hidden in the rafters of the back upstairs attic in a duffel bag needless to say she went exploring and searching and found that and texted as I was at a customers working about we had a problem. I got home and the woodstove was black inside and everything around smelled like burnt plastic etc. she burned everything. My clothes my silicon breastforms everything  I found metal bra underwires and corset and bustier stays in the stove for months. I used to have some really nice clothes. So nothing for another year and a half or so other than occasional putting some of her stuff on briefly and latey were not getting along again and apart all the time again and I got a few clothes of my own so I can actually feel like myself. I want out of this relationship for many reasons but I don’t want to spend my life living a lie anymore either

    • #170141
      Caty Ryan
      Baroness

      Hi girls,

      I told my first wife just before our first child arrived. She hated me being CD with a passion. She never saw much of my Caty gear cos it was stored elsewhere, tho I did leave a bra or two around at some stage.

      My second wonderful partner found some jewellery about five years ago and after that it was the in/famous “DADT”.

      That was until late 2017 until we had our house on the market and I was hospitalised with a non life threatening illness. She took it upon herself to go do a clean up in my big shed/mancave and altho no details ever emerged, I think she saw enough to really upset her.

      This I regret very much, but as we all know, “we are what we are” and nothing can change that.

      Since then the major portion of my lingerie now lives in my (separate) bedroom chest of drawers and she only puts my (male ) laundry on top of that and does not open anything… Least I don think she does!!!!

      Happy dressing

      Caty

       

       

       

       

       

       

    • #170366

      My SO knew on our second date  We’ve been together for 2 years now . Donna’s clothes are laundered right along with hers . We are no where close in size so we don’t share. But she loves surprising me with new outfits

    • #170369
      Deanna Lund
      Duchess

      Dumb quest?

      What is DADT?

      Luv
      D

    • #170891

      To be honest my SO never discovered my stash. I just revealed myself one crazy day. Now the place is full of my precious stuff.

    • #184819

      She never found my stash. One day I just told her.

    • #196516
      K Swim
      Lady

      She never found my stash, but she saw my eBay purchase history 🙁

      • #196548
        Anonymous

        K Swim …… purchase history ….ouch 😟

        • #196683
          K Swim
          Lady

          As a computer expert, I was dumb enough to log in to my account on her laptop because she “wanted to buy something” and forgot to log out of my account. She went back in later and looked at the history. She did not approve at all and left me. eBay only holds a history of 2-3 years of purchase history, so I since created a separate account to use for buying the things not appropriate to my gender. The inappropriate stuff has now timed out on my main account….but I have also been single ever since.

    • #196584
      Emily
      Lady

      She never really “discovered “ my stash, but I have been dressing off and on for over 50 years. After I told her, I just stopped hiding stuff. She has gone through my closet and drawers a couple times to see if I’ve gotten anything new. Being more than a little OCD, I can tell when my things have been messed with. Still, we have come to an agreement of sorts in that we just don’t talk about it.

    • #196687

      Do not hide it from your wife because when you get caught and you will. She will wonder what other secrets. You have kept from and that can destroy a marriage.

      Love

      Danielle

    • #215405
      skippy1965 Cynthia
      Ambassador

      My ex found out less than a year after we got married. Almost left then but begged her to stay and she did for another 12 years but eventually left -not completely for the dressing but largely so.
      Cyn

    • #218609
      Anonymous

      Almost two years; but I wasn’t discovered; she just noticed when I switched from men’s boxers to panties, and eventually noticed that my tees were now femme. Then, when she commented one evening about how my breasts were getting bigger, I used the occasion to tell her how comfortable women’s clothes were and how much I enjoyed wearing them. This led to “The Talk”, and now I’m free to roam the house as I please – except for a dress – and she’s even OK with my favorite denim skirt. Not certain what the distinction is, there, but I don’t push it. The freedom I have is too much fun.
      Bettylou

    • #251028

      Since I’ve been married in 1995, my CDing consisted of trying on her lingerie and intimates. So, I never had a stash to be found. However in late 2015; she suspected I’d worn one of her panties, which I had. She told me to stay out of her clothes and this lead me to start buying my own. She doesn’t know about my female wardrobe and I hide it in storage boxes with suitcase locks on them in the walk-up storage loft above my garage. She doesn’t go up there. I only bring down what I want to wear when she isn’t home and I put it back before she gets home.

    • #251048

      I actually started cd with my wife knowing. I always had thoughts of doing it, then one day I asked her if I could try on a pair of her panties and she just gave a cute smirk and handed me a pair. This was 20 years ago, but I just recently started wearing everything including makeup and she enjoys seeing the smile it puts on my face (especially being I generally don’t smile).
      Hugs, Ruby

    • #251115
      Anonymous
      Lady

      <p style=”text-align: left;”>My first occassion of being caught was of being discovered wearing a cami under my guy pj’s rather than discovery of my stash. My recent purge early this year was however as a result of my wife discovering my close to hand stash which showed that my interest had widened but did not have any tops, skirts, dresses, or shoes but all went in purge.</p>
      So now no close to hand stash and dressing only when wife is away visiting daughter.

      Rachel

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