- Everyone knows already
- No i have no intention of telling anyone about me crossdressing
- It depends on who i was telling
- I am not sure at the moment
- I will tell someone this week
- I will tell someone this Year
- I will at some time in the future
- Some people know already but i do intend to tell others in the future
- March 29, 2019 at 12:38 pm #164311
fiona mossAmbassadorRegistered On: October 7, 2018Topics: 287Replies: 1025Has thanked: 2239 timesBeen thanked: 1638 times
Hi Girls, this could be a tricky poll for you or perhaps easier for some. Maybe you will never tell anyone, or perhaps everyone does know already, lets find out! Fiona’s guess…. it depends who it was i was telling.
This may seem like a mixed bag of possible answers. I have tried to cover all bases!! and to make it a fun poll too 🙂 . My idea for this poll was based on recent events at work. Have fun!
- May 20, 2019 at 1:48 pm #179210Taliyah NicoleParticipantRegistered On: April 8, 2019Topics: 6Replies: 23Has thanked: 55 timesBeen thanked: 45 times
As of today, my wife, our therapist, and one of my Male colleagues (who figured it out himself) know. I told my parents, but it was fleeting during a crisis situation. That’s another story. But I feel like I need to sit everyone down and tell them straight up who I am and what I’m about.
- May 8, 2019 at 1:47 pm #175483Dame Veronica GraunwolfParticipantRegistered On: May 8, 2017Topics: 49Replies: 1911Has thanked: 1613 timesBeen thanked: 1535 times
I have never made it a point to “Tell” what I am or was or will be. I did discover that somehow my Name and some tid-bits of my life are on the Internet for all to see……so I guess the need is redundent.
I am Dame Veronica Graunwolf in Higher Circles and sometimes Lower Circles LOL. When asked what I am I just say……….I am Women….in body, soul and mind. Live the Woman, think the Woman, act the Woman…..BE THE WOMAN to the whole world. “So let it be written….so let it be done” – Rhamses of Eygypt.
- May 8, 2019 at 12:02 pm #175449Shayla ArmstrongParticipantRegistered On: May 7, 2017Topics: 0Replies: 18Has thanked: 0 timesBeen thanked: 27 times
- April 26, 2019 at 3:50 am #171835AnonymousRegistered On:Topics: 20Replies: 523Has thanked: 582 timesBeen thanked: 673 times
Hi Fiona………I fit into your guestimate response…………
Of course, my wife knows……….and about 20,000 people on this site knows, if they’ve seen anything I’ve responded to, AND I have evoked a couple responses from gg’s here on this site……..the ONLY two other gg’s I know of, other than my partner SO………..nobody else. Of course, now that these people know, they might share with other people perhaps not on this site…….OK, that could amount to a lot of people.
I really have nothing to gain by telling anyone I or my SO knows………maybe my wife will tell her hairdresser to see if she can re-fix some of my wigs…maybe not, as she is very private about this. I can’t imagine the need to tell the Sales Girl the size 7 panties are for me, since I am a crossdresser……..and I don’t care what she thinks…………..I recently went in Walgreens and bought Nair for Men, and just took it to the counter, paid and left, and the SA was more insistent that I go on-line and register for some prize of some kind…………must be a lot of men buying Nair these days !!
I believe if there is NO positive reason to tell someone, then simply don’t tell………..if there is……….then tell and be totally up-front with anyone that could be a relationship…………in my case, I think I’d have to PROVE IT, as just looking at me in drab…………they’d think it was a some kind of trick, or joke of some kind…………..Little would they know.
- April 25, 2019 at 12:09 pm #171636Amy MyersParticipantRegistered On: February 11, 2019Topics: 4Replies: 243Has thanked: 429 timesBeen thanked: 268 times
I have to add to this, as I have the urge to tell more people.
Got a couple in mind, but not sure what to do. These are not family, but friends.
I know that you girls can’t help me much, I have to decide, but I feel the need to open up a bit more.
- April 27, 2019 at 7:42 am #172187Davida MaeParticipantRegistered On: January 14, 2019Topics: 5Replies: 144Has thanked: 67 timesBeen thanked: 125 times
- April 28, 2019 at 2:12 am #172362Amy MyersParticipantRegistered On: February 11, 2019Topics: 4Replies: 243Has thanked: 429 timesBeen thanked: 268 times
Don’t think so Davida.
It’s a bit weird, I think, as I want to tell people, maybe its’ that the secret I don’t want to hold forever.
All my kids, and one of their SO were all together for dinner the other week, and I just felt like telling everyone. Didn’t, of course. I think my kids would be good with it.
This is what many of us go through, I’m sure, as one gets tired of the secrets, and the double life that goes with it. Some folks are more comfortable with keeping the secret than others. Which is the point raised as well. Who else will they tell? Is my secret going to burden them as well?
Some in the family are pretty old school conservative, and not just the oldies, as it were, so I don’t think that they would be too accepting, but one never knows. The price of non acceptance can be very high, which is what keeps us closeted so much.
Thanks for the feedback, girls.
- April 28, 2019 at 10:38 pm #172705Davida MaeParticipantRegistered On: January 14, 2019Topics: 5Replies: 144Has thanked: 67 timesBeen thanked: 125 times
Ms Amy; sometimes I find myself self clawing at my Closet door NOT in defiance or for the dramatic attention but just thought that My world would be so shaken and my career destroyed because I stepped out for coffee in a skirt & heels. Just brings me to the edge of impulsiveness and clawing begins. I’m very grateful for CDH and you ladies who are willing and do share the “Girl Talk” That is so desperately needed by each of us. I dressed for myself first before I found the CDH Community and some of the benefits, so my need to step out of the Closet isn’t so intense. Through these benefits I’m finding opportunities for self expression while at the same helping others find release for their self discovery. It’s an asset for balance for our own individuality and the well-being for our family & friends.
- April 28, 2019 at 2:33 am #172374AnonymousRegistered On:Topics: 20Replies: 523Has thanked: 582 timesBeen thanked: 673 times
I’m a totally ‘inside’ the home woman, at times………with a supportive, and encouraging SO……I have no desire to ‘declare’ to anyone outside of this relationship in any way……..albeit I have with all here. If I buy a cami top in XL at Wal Mart, make up at Sephora, Nair for Men at Walgreens, skiiny jeans at JC Penny’s in size 14 long, and any of these people ‘suspect’ they’re for me…………doesn’t bother me a bit, don’t even think about it…………I don’t have any shame or embarrassment about that. But why bring the ‘drama’ to unsuspecting people in your life with a disclosure like this ? Is it a personal empowerment or validation from others that define you ? The ONE exception, would be that ALL hidden away by themselves, and WHO have a partner, then TELLING is essential, as this WILL NOT simply go-away, and life can be very miserable when alone………..
- April 28, 2019 at 2:46 am #172388Amy MyersParticipantRegistered On: February 11, 2019Topics: 4Replies: 243Has thanked: 429 timesBeen thanked: 268 times
Mikki, that’s a big thing, I don’t want to bring “drama” into the lives of those I care for deeply, and have an active social life outside of this, and would hate for it to screw all that up. Also, I love your attitude for shopping, I’m still coming to grips with that. Getting better, but still not there yet.
That is the answer, I think. For the near future, at least, I will keep this to myself, and my wife, who is very supportive.
XO, and Thanks
1 user thanked author for this post.
- April 28, 2019 at 3:09 am #172394AnonymousRegistered On:Topics: 20Replies: 523Has thanked: 582 timesBeen thanked: 673 times
Thank you Amy………I think we see much the same on ‘coming’ clean to people………About shopping……I may be quite a bit older than you, as I have found out the older I get, the LESS I give a damn what other people think……….and this SHOWS in my usual day-to-day persona……..I am a RULES breaker, a ‘don’t care’ about societal boundaries, and I applaud others who CAN be different from the mass’s………it may be b’cause I myself have a split kind of personality, have a g’daughter ( one of our twins) who is 6 and never wears girly clothes that WE SUPPORT tremendously, and I had a very physical abusive father that beat me for every slight transgression……..I SO didn’t want to be him………….but anyway, I would suggest to go shopping and simply pay for what you want………….fyi—just yesterday, my wife and I went to Sephora–a big store………wife went one way, I another, in drab……….I went over to the NYX section looking at color corrector’s………girl ( a sexy girl) came over and asked me, ‘Can I help you find something?’..very pleasant, and seemingly very much wanting to be helpful……….just told her, NO thanks, just browsing……….and she said, “If you need to sample one of the corrector, I’ll get an sampler for you’………..I said thanks, but not needed, and she walked away, and that was it………NO ISSUE and I simply didn’t care if SHE knew I was looking for myself. I find that more and more, people just don’t care and WE’RE not creeps, and my $50 is as good as anyone else in the store !!!
- May 8, 2019 at 1:56 pm #175490Dame Veronica GraunwolfParticipantRegistered On: May 8, 2017Topics: 49Replies: 1911Has thanked: 1613 timesBeen thanked: 1535 times
Hi Mikki! I salute you girl! You have discovered a keystone of the road to enlightenment. “The older I get (let’s make that experienced): the less I give a damn what others think”. Well done.
1 user thanked author for this post.
- May 8, 2019 at 2:23 pm #175498AnonymousRegistered On:Topics: 20Replies: 523Has thanked: 582 timesBeen thanked: 673 times
You are a masterful teacher, I watch ALL your words !!!
- April 28, 2019 at 3:38 am #172401Amelia walkerParticipantRegistered On: January 18, 2019Topics: 1Replies: 112Has thanked: 131 timesBeen thanked: 125 times
That’s so true Nikki about shops. On holiday I was nearly dragged in a tailors ” Madam `I make you dress, come look at materials” . Maybe next time.
1 user thanked author for this post.
- April 28, 2019 at 3:51 am #172403AnonymousRegistered On:Topics: 20Replies: 523Has thanked: 582 timesBeen thanked: 673 times
Ohhh—you should have done it………..!!! My melting point is chiffon……….. a mid-thigh empire dress in a white chiffon is a die-for !!! With layers !!
For sure, next time, DO IT………or…….go back and DO IT !!!
- April 28, 2019 at 3:58 am #172405Amelia walkerParticipantRegistered On: January 18, 2019Topics: 1Replies: 112Has thanked: 131 timesBeen thanked: 125 times
Oh! You are so right Mikki! It’s always the things you don’t do you end up regretting the most (Amy?). And of course there’s that masseuse?
- April 28, 2019 at 8:52 am #172508ParticipantRegistered On: February 11, 2019Topics: 4Replies: 243Has thanked: 429 timesBeen thanked: 268 times
Amelia, that is quite true. I’ve thought, and done things that I wanted to do, so that later on I wouldn’t be thinking I shoulda, coulda, woulda, so that when I was too old, or too infirm to do much anymore, then wish’d I had done this or that. Certainly one cannot do everything one wants, for various good reasons, but when you can, if you can, you should.
So this is like other things in life, finding the right balance. But like that comment I just made, that part of why I joined the local CD club, Xpressions, and have to a few events. Somehow, Amy NEEDS to meet the world, and like so much of this, I don’t fully understand why. Part of it, certainly is the them, I am Amy, as no one knows my other name, kind of the opposite of my close friends and family, but it is so nice, just to be able to be Amy. Somehow that name really is me, as if I see it in print, or on a screen, it gives me the same reaction as when I see my other name, I immediately identify with it.
This is getting a bit beyond the scope of this thread, but I hope that my digressions can be forgiven.
- April 28, 2019 at 10:36 am #172532Amelia walkerParticipantRegistered On: January 18, 2019Topics: 1Replies: 112Has thanked: 131 timesBeen thanked: 125 times
I think it is possible to bring Amy into the light of day without drama. Take your wife away for a weekend. I did. Walking down the stairs of the hotel and outside was one of the greatest thrills of my life.
- April 25, 2019 at 8:52 pm #171741ParticipantRegistered On: January 18, 2019Topics: 1Replies: 112Has thanked: 131 timesBeen thanked: 125 times
I think you have to ask yourself two questions Amy. 1) Would you be subjected to ridicule, and 2) Even if you trusted them would they tell people you would prefer did not know?
- April 22, 2019 at 10:12 pm #170892ParticipantRegistered On: January 18, 2019Topics: 1Replies: 112Has thanked: 131 timesBeen thanked: 125 times
- April 16, 2019 at 8:20 am #168913JanineParticipantRegistered On: October 25, 2015Topics: 1Replies: 62Has thanked: 11 timesBeen thanked: 58 times
Having been closet crossdresser nearly all of my life l went on vacation last year away from anyone who knows me because I wanted to see what it’s like to live as a female for the entire time I was on vacation.
I was in Marathon Florida and there are many different types of people who live there or vacation there.
I met a girl who was there on vacation and she was definitely a crossdresser
Unlike me she really didn’t appear as a passable looking female
I take pride in looking as feminine as I possibly can but she didn’t seem to care about the way that she presented herself.
After talking to her and listening to her story about how she loves to dress en.femme I decided to tell her that I am a crossdresser.
At first she didn’t believe me. She actually thought that I was joking
She is the only person who I’ve ever came out to about my crossdressing
I don’t have any intentions of telling anyone else
But I have to admit that after confessing to her that I felt like a weight had been lifted off my shoulders.
Having someone to talk to who knows that I’m a crossdresser has made me realize that there are many people who crossdress
It’s helped me to accept that I am a crossdresser and there’s nothing wrong with it
We’ve become great friends and text and email almost daily
We’re both looking forward to going back to Marathon for the memorial day weekend this year and renewing our friendship
It was definitely a great experience living as a female for the entire time I was there and doing whatever a girl who is on vacation would do
- April 22, 2019 at 7:42 pm #170879Jennifer SwansonParticipantRegistered On: April 20, 2019Topics: 19Replies: 91Has thanked: 1385 timesBeen thanked: 205 times
I went to see a band on Friday night. A friend of mine plays with them. I came out for the first time completely cross dressed and sat with my friends wife. After her jaw dropped to the floor she told me something totally unexpected. She said her husband is a crossdresser. I had no idea.
1 user thanked author for this post.
- April 28, 2019 at 10:59 pm #172706Willow FlareParticipantRegistered On: April 23, 2019Topics: 0Replies: 47Has thanked: 100 timesBeen thanked: 64 times
I recently moved, and to a much more welcoming and accepting area than I have ever lived in before. I had never really consciously cross dressed before(in high school girls would dress me up, and before that my sister), but once I realized that it was part of my life I decided I don’t need friends who won’t accept me, so any new friends I make find out in due time.
Also, my therapist encourages me to tell people and to go out dressed up. Says the risks are a good thing.
- April 8, 2019 at 3:46 pm #166867Rami LoveParticipantRegistered On: November 30, 2018Topics: 2Replies: 38Has thanked: 11 timesBeen thanked: 39 times
I have an asked do tell about my crossdressing. If I find myself single again my crossdressing will become a topic of conversation very early in the relationship.
- April 8, 2019 at 6:50 pm #166887Bubblie Commen LocoParticipantRegistered On: February 12, 2018Topics: 0Replies: 8Has thanked: 11 timesBeen thanked: 12 times
I’m kinda in a place in my heart that,bei being that iam single,and find a girl who I feel wouldn’t mind I’d lrl her know and hopefully she’ll be into it and we’ll have fun yaknow!!.
1 user thanked author for this post.
- April 6, 2019 at 1:49 pm #166424Gerri ValentineParticipantRegistered On: July 27, 2017Topics: 1Replies: 3Has thanked: 2 timesBeen thanked: 8 times
For all intents and purposes I am an OUT crossdresser, I outed myself on Facebook about 4 years ago. Some friends have distanced themselves, their loss. I go out dressed all the time and don’t care if I run into anyone from my vanilla life, I am what I am. I AM NOT ASHAMED OF WHO I AM. If you’re ashamed and hate yourself for what you are, your life can’t be that enjoyable. Live your life on your terms, as far as I know, at least in the USA, crossdressing is not a crime.
- April 26, 2019 at 9:22 am #171928ParticipantRegistered On: January 18, 2019Topics: 1Replies: 112Has thanked: 131 timesBeen thanked: 125 times
I feel the same way Gerry. F**k em.
- April 22, 2019 at 10:47 pm #170896ParticipantRegistered On: April 20, 2019Topics: 19Replies: 91Has thanked: 1385 timesBeen thanked: 205 times
I go out because I love how it feels. People are kind and women are always curious. I feel totally energized when I’m out.
- April 5, 2019 at 12:15 am #165896Khloe WestParticipantRegistered On: August 27, 2015Topics: 2Replies: 100Has thanked: 136 timesBeen thanked: 75 times
I have a rather similar, but different experience to @alison Anderson that lead to all and any knowing.
A long story, but the pertinent facts?
My first “girl’s night out”, and it never crossed my mind that the others there that I knew had dual FB profiles. I also thought that since htis was such a “hushed” subject, that there would be tighter boundaries and privacy than the way it played.
A bazillion pics on FB from that eve with me tagged in “boy mode” while wearing a pretty floral dress and fully “en femme”.
Not knowing who might have already seen them? I thought it may appear cowardly and apologetic to “un-tag” myself. I just took a deep breath – uttered “Here we go!” – and rolled with it.
Yes, I lost some FB pals, but says more about them than me. I gained many more than I lost. Utterly a great decision and end to things going sideways.
Never been happier, everyone paying attention knows, and I need make no excuses or dodges. Am sure that many think I’m utterly nuts, but they would get no argument from me on that front.
- April 4, 2019 at 7:51 pm #165877Chareen rowanParticipantRegistered On: January 8, 2019Topics: 0Replies: 2Has thanked: 0 timesBeen thanked: 6 times
Maybe someone will understand the why. It feels to me that I cannot trust anyone on this, just so you know, not even another CD which makes nme a “loner” to the max. Why? I guess shame and guilt have a lot to do with it. So the consequence is that I fight myself with it. I pass through a store which has fem dresses and my inner self wishes and desires to have some of them, yet I do not see myself entering the store and buying. I was an extra shy teenager even to talk to girls. Rejection was always there, especially if you grew up in the hippie era as a nerd. All the girls went for the “in” guys and I was left out. So it is a lonely lovely walk for me. I see the pictures and let me say that most of you are beautiful, yet I think myself as not so.
Thank you all. Love to all
- April 25, 2019 at 12:04 pm #171635ParticipantRegistered On: February 11, 2019Topics: 4Replies: 243Has thanked: 429 timesBeen thanked: 268 times
Chareen, I too was one of those nerdy guys in school, and also was too shy to get anywhere with girls.
Though I have started doing a bit of shopping for myself, in person that is. Super scary, but I don’t think that the store clerks care that much, they just like to make a sale. I keep telling myslef that, but still have bif time nerves!
- April 4, 2019 at 6:00 pm #165857Brooke ChildsParticipantRegistered On: March 18, 2019Topics: 2Replies: 5Has thanked: 36 timesBeen thanked: 15 times
I for one worry about second and third order affects of me letting the world know. I don’t want to add stress to my friends or family. I chose to dress, not my family. Sure many of them would be fine with it maybe with time.
- April 1, 2019 at 9:53 pm #165184Val’sheril StarsongParticipantRegistered On: March 3, 2019Topics: 3Replies: 217Has thanked: 112 timesBeen thanked: 207 times
So far it’s a cherry-picked few who know. Both of my exes who I opened up to shortly before the respective breakups and my current SO who knew years before we started dating, several of my online buddies who I knew were open to the idea. And of course all you lovely ladies. <3 So far (aforementioned exes aside) the response has been an overwhelmingly positive one, but I’ve tended to pick my audience with acceptance in mind.
What scares me to death is opening up to my real-life friends and family. Most of them would likely accept it, at least eventually, but I can think of a few who just get dogmatic about things of that nature and it could potentially kill the friendship. Maybe at some point I’ll work up the nerve to tell them or they’ll find out through other means, but I have no immediate plans to rock the boat on that front.
- March 31, 2019 at 8:26 pm #164901Smartina FonteynParticipantRegistered On: December 14, 2017Topics: 0Replies: 18Has thanked: 4 timesBeen thanked: 17 times
- March 31, 2019 at 7:13 pm #164890Michelle LiefdeAmbassadorRegistered On: May 27, 2018Topics: 39Replies: 877Has thanked: 1004 timesBeen thanked: 694 times
- March 31, 2019 at 12:04 am #164668Davina EvansParticipantRegistered On: March 23, 2019Topics: 1Replies: 76Has thanked: 45 timesBeen thanked: 130 times
Lily’s answer is pretty close to what I was thinking. I have only recently been dressing en femme and only at home. My wife lets me but she is not sure about it at present.
I do not know who else I could tell at present. It is not that I am ashamed but more the impact it would have on my wife and others.
In answering these polls I am finding that it is helping me to define myself. So thank you all for the questions and keep them coming.
- March 30, 2019 at 5:08 pm #164633Alison AndersonParticipantRegistered On: October 15, 2018Topics: 0Replies: 15Has thanked: 2 timesBeen thanked: 19 times
Perhaps the better question is “Who is going to find out?” Here’s what happened to me in the last few months.
I was supposed to go to the Renaissance Faire last fall with the woman who did my first makeover and runs events at her house. I was planning on going en femme. She ended up not going. But my daughter and three of her friends from the Pride Center were going to go, so I ended up going (en femme) with them.
With no fore-planning we ended up in colors that looked like the house colors from Harry Potter, so someone took our picture. While we were at it, they also used our phones to take pictures too.
About a month later my daughter was at the pride center and wasn’t feeling well. She needed me to bring something to her. It took a while before one of her friends recognized me as the one who had been to the Ren Faire.
Come Christmas time my daughter (who works in retail) put up the Ren Faire photo in the office. Her manager said, “Who is that? They look familiar.” My daughter told her “That’s my Dad.”
Later another of her Pride Center friends had come over to my house to see my daughter. As it was the day of my support group meeting, the first time she met me I was en femme. She has subsequently seen me en homme as well.
Last week I had tickets to see Kinky Boots with my daughter before it closed on Broadway. I planned to go en femme in my 4 inch heeled boots to see the show. But my daughter also had to do an art project for school and needed to visit the Metropolitan Museum of Art beforehand. (It was a mistake to wear the boots all day and have to walk around in them, but that’s another story.)
She told me her friend was also coming in by bus to New York to see a different Broadway show. So we head back to the bus station to wait for her – and her mom! We had a quick dinner together before going to our respective shows. The friend had told her Mom that her friend’s (my daughter) Dad cross dresses. So her Mom knew I was a cross dresser. With my daughter and her friend texting from our respective buses on the way home, we found out that her Mom didn’t realize that I was the Dad; she thought I was just a cross dresser that my daughter knew.
- March 30, 2019 at 7:45 am #164512Laura LovettParticipantRegistered On: November 18, 2018Topics: 12Replies: 422Has thanked: 444 timesBeen thanked: 560 times
I wonder why we all fear telling others?
It’s not like we’re telling them about something illegal, in most countries .
We’re not even doing anything wrong!
Why do we think it would negatively impact our relationships with others, especially children?
Why would it be bad for them to know?
Wives seem to believe this too, without any evidence of psychological harm except to the man who has to hide his secret away, fearful of discovery… but why?
Embarrassing situations happen.
We move on.
Why do wives struggle to accept?
It’s hard to accept that climate change is happening, it’s hard to comprehend the suffering of people in Afghanistan and other countries, it’s hard to accept that some cultures live very differently to us, it’s hard to accept another person’s religious beliefs – what is the big deal with men in women’s clothing?
I have so many questions… sorry, this was supposed to be a fun poll :0)
I have told my wife and an ex-work colleague, and my back therapist.
And fully intend to let others know who I really am.
But without upsetting the wife too much.
- April 1, 2019 at 6:05 am #164961anne-marieParticipantRegistered On: August 26, 2018Topics: 3Replies: 174Has thanked: 252 timesBeen thanked: 187 times
You make a very good point Laura. For me its not fear of telling people but rather that people who I want to know – plus a few others who have discovered for themselves – already know and anybody else, non of their business.
I was however very secretive about dressing many many moons ago but that was due to threats of physical violence and other negative responses by some bods in my local community. Thankfully, those idiots have long gone. Good riddence to them.
Perhaps gives some insight into why some of the girls are reluctant to come out though.
Take care girls.
- March 30, 2019 at 1:08 am #164456Jasmine FletcherParticipantRegistered On: September 7, 2018Topics: 7Replies: 246Has thanked: 122 timesBeen thanked: 313 times
In one state of mind I would just get on and tell everyone. I’ve had a transgender flag badge on my “man bag” for a few months now. It wouldn’t be difficult for someone to Google what that was, or just ask. Nothing seems to have happened yet but one part of me is stubbornly proud of who I am and this is a way of subliminally waving at everyone.
However, I remember what happened while I was still married and I confessed to my wife. She was accepting at first but after a week pointed out that she was now burdened with my secret, and was worrying about where it could all lead to. I felt rather selfish: I had gained a huge wave of relief, she was concerned & troubled and eventually the whole thing blew up a few months later. It then became the “don’t ask, don’t tell” arrangement.
As such, I’m off to visit my parents this weekend and once again I’ve got a wrestling match in my head whether to tell them. They are in their 80s but still fret and worry about me and I would feel guilty about giving them something else to be concerned about. Plus if my Mum knows then shortly afterwards everyone else in the family and in their village would know…
I ought to have a word with my neighbours. I’m often outside so I am surprised that they haven’t noticed yet (perhaps they have?) The last three chance meetings with them I just happened to be en homme due to having just got back or about to depart home. My only concern is that I rent my cottage from them and if they don’t like it, they might find some other reason to end the tenancy.
So I find myself sitting on a fence (not easy in this frock!) wondering which way I should climb down. Perhaps a gust of wind will topple me one way or the other…
- March 29, 2019 at 8:47 pm #164435Camryn OccasionnelParticipantRegistered On: December 10, 2018Topics: 0Replies: 217Has thanked: 248 timesBeen thanked: 265 times
Well, I chose “…have no intention of telling anyone about me crossdressing” because I am so committed to the closet, I cannot imagine anyone I now know, or have ever known, who would accept me as a CDer.
Of course, who knows what the future holds. Never say never, as they say. Maybe if I ever met another crossdresser in this LGBTQ wasteland I inhabit, I would very probably own up to it, even if I were in drab at the time.
- March 29, 2019 at 8:08 pm #164430Elise MichelleParticipantRegistered On: January 3, 2018Topics: 16Replies: 217Has thanked: 166 timesBeen thanked: 387 times
This is something I’ve really struggled with. Been dying to tell my eldest daughter as she’s always been a huge LGBTQ+ supporter, so part of me thinks she would accept it. On the other hand, I’m her “Daddy”, so I worry she would never look at me the same. It’s one thing when your girlfriend borrows mascara, but quite a different thing when your father does. I also worry that she’d be so excited that she would tell someone, and soon everybody would know. I’m not ready to have that discussion with my son, my brothers or my 85 year old mother. But the secret is killing me…
- March 29, 2019 at 6:12 pm #164407AnonymousRegistered On:Topics: 0Replies: 12Has thanked: 10 timesBeen thanked: 19 times
I have only told my two wives.
No-onee really knows. some are suspicious. I think my daughter would accept it quickly no way she can keenp a secret.Im not going to live life as a womanim.it’s just fun. I’m two different people. My private lives don’t need to mix completely keep dressing
- March 29, 2019 at 5:21 pm #164401Nora Grace FergasonParticipantRegistered On: March 7, 2016Topics: 0Replies: 2Has thanked: 7 timesBeen thanked: 3 times
Do you mean how much “Jabbering” will I do? Well then it might take me 40-45 years. “When I was a small child………….” No wait, you don’t mean how many words? If I tell you how I was feeling at each step along the way, well, then, that could take forever. How do you have to sit & listen?
For real, We had a vote transgendered rights in my state (MA, USA). I think I am pretty well regarded around town, so I thought I’d out myself so as to use myself a positive example. Anyone could ask me anything to help persuade people to vote. Step one, tell Mrs. Fergason. That did not go as I had hoped. She does not want to know or see any part of “That”.
But, when I want to go to a meeting en femme, she will ask start time, & I’ll say only “I need to change”. Mrs. F will go out & stay away for extended time or go up-stairs. I’ll shower, get dressed & leave, announcing loudly, “I’m going now”, peaceful co-existence. Having a 35yo lesbien daughter, & her lovely wife, very much helps my cause.
- March 29, 2019 at 4:31 pm #164395Marika JayeParticipantRegistered On: August 4, 2018Topics: 7Replies: 12Has thanked: 27 timesBeen thanked: 42 times
Everyone close to me already knows. I’ve also told a few casual friends (all female) while impaired by alcohol. So far, every reaction has been positive. I’ve even made besties with a couple ladies I was only lukewarm with before.
- March 29, 2019 at 3:43 pm #164376ParticipantRegistered On: February 11, 2019Topics: 4Replies: 243Has thanked: 429 timesBeen thanked: 268 times
I with Lilly, a have the urge to tell more people, but not sure if its’ a good idea, and what will it change anyway?
My wife, and a couple of others know, and I’ve become a member of a local cross dressing club, so of course they know, but everyone there is, so it would be strange if one was a member, and didn’t dress.
So for now, the circle will stay like it is, amoung current friends and family. Secrets can be burdensome for some people, and I don’t want to put people close to me though that either. There might come a time where it would be better tell certain family members, rather than have them find out for themselves, but I don’t think that I’m at point.
- May 20, 2019 at 10:27 pm #179261Khloe WestParticipantRegistered On: August 27, 2015Topics: 2Replies: 100Has thanked: 136 timesBeen thanked: 75 times
It may have it’s risks, but do it across the board.
A very long story, but I was rather uncomfortably an unexpectedly “outed” in an innocent act by another.
Despite some discomfort and weird factors? Best decision ever to roll with it.
Bumps in the road for sure, but I no longer have to hide or make excuses and rather work this angle to (hopefully) educate others.
- March 29, 2019 at 2:35 pm #164352ParticipantRegistered On: January 14, 2019Topics: 5Replies: 144Has thanked: 67 timesBeen thanked: 125 times
HaHaaa whether I’m changing my briefs or my panties for the day I doubt anyone would or should care. I’m a Closet Gurl for multiple reasons but mainly to protect those associated with me. Should I actually get a chance to be my Gurl in a Public setting… by that time…I doubt “I’d CARE!”
- March 29, 2019 at 2:27 pm #164348AnonymousRegistered On:Topics: 4Replies: 240Has thanked: 333 timesBeen thanked: 302 times
Hi Fiona, nice poll! Very curious to other’s answers as well.
My wife knows, and my therapist knows. I might tell some old friends of mine I’m seeing this weekend if it’s relevant during the outing though I doubt it, but otherwise I’m happy cracking the odd joke in the office about wearing “my dresses” which usually gets a good laugh. Little do they know… Funny how cross dressing is comedic gold, not sure how I feel about that being someone who likes to cross dress, but I won’t pass up an opportunity for a chuckle.
I was thinking of coming out to other people recently but I haven’t the foggiest who I’d tell. Co-workers? Friends? Family members? I ask myself, what would it change? Am I asking them to accept me as I am, or does the thing I’m asking them to accept ever impact their lives, making it moot? Probably, but for some reason I still feel called to tell people.
Who knows. Either way I sincerely wish anyone who’s thinking of coming out nothing but the best. It’s hard!
You must be logged in to reply to this topic.