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I grew up fairly active in one mainline Protestant church and switched on marriage to another very similar, and was even more active, where our kids were raised, both groups reasonably accepting of many, which helped me feel better about myself, somewhat. Both are now going through tremendous schisms being split apart on related issues of whether to enlarge the umbrella….or not, and I don’t envy members in either denomination. While saddened, I’m not upset that I no longer am involved. And this is a touchy subject for sure.
Hugs, ChloëC
I’m a Heinz 57 when it comes to religions. Born lutheran, baptized Baptist, went to a Methodist church, confirmed as a Presbyterian, I study Judaism, and married an Episcopalian. Kind of covered all the bases. And after all that, no I’m not religious at all. I have no problems with those that are.
It’s just a long story, we don’t need to get in to it. It has nothing to do with us or who we are.
Surprised mods left this
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Because not long ago a moderator named Billyjean posted a warning about keeping politics and religion off the boards because they were so controversial. Thats why I am surprised.
Michelle McQueen was here…
I was raised in a very catholic traditional family. The town I’m originally from is very old school so since i was a child a had to repress my sensitive feminine side. As I grew up i developed depression anxiety and a conflict with myself about who I was.
Because of my religious and traditional upbringing i battled with myself for 30 years. I couldn’t find myself, understand myself and repressed myself brutally after trying female clothes.
With the help of my partner i finally found who i was. Accepted and started to love myself. I’ve been in counseling on and off for about 20 years and nobody helped me more than my wife.
Now I’m not ashamed anymore. I don’t feel guilt and I’ve been open with my family and close friends about my gender fluidness.
Surprisingly all my fears and bad scenarios were only in my head. I’ve had total support of each one of them and so far nobody has ever made a joke or a bad comment about my new me
Definitely religion and old school education had a huge impact in my mental health
I hope my experience relates with other girls and see that we are mot the only ones. That there’s love and affection when we get past our own demons.
Love to all
Claire
I can’t say that I came from a “religious background”. But I was raised catholic, and was expected to go to church every Sunday. Going to “sunday school” (not always on Sunday) and progressing through First Communion and Confirmation was expected. But it was a very small part of growing up.
I must say that after graduating from High School (some period after my confirmation) I stopped attending church. After that it became more a wedding and funeral kind of thing. That was many, many years ago and I really just credit it as part of my upbringing and made me what I am today.
Yes, it had influence. But it wasn’t the driving factor.
How can you approve of a religion that does not approve of people??? If you think you are flawed, they are much worse. Find a new religion or forget about what, if anything comes after this life, and get a support network that is more inclusive and involved with people now. There is no reason to feel guilt over wearing clothes or being who you are.
For the record, I was raised catholic. Now I have no religious affiliations.
I was raised Jewish. I was a precocious child: at my bris I asked the mohel if he could do a quick remodel while he was down there and make me eligible for a bat-mitzvah. At least that’s what I think I was thinking. Unfortunately all that came out of my mouth was gurgling.
I was bar-mitzvahed and loved Saturday service. Ours was a small, Conservative (as opposed to Orthodox or Reform) congregation that sometimes had to track down someone to make up a minyan (quorum for service).
You might want to know that the Talmud commentary holds that the whole thing about “pertaineth to” has more to do with social roles than clothes. By thar standard the women in Israel’s combat units violate Scripture (and I believe some of the ultra-orthodox sects object to their service on that basis)
Not that rigidity about social roles is so great either but there it is.
I look on becoming a Christian as renegotiating my deal, not a conversion. Right now we attend a Seventh Day Adventist Church. They’re lovely people but it’s not a denomination I could join. Too many rules about diet and other parts of your life and our local district seems headed for Savanarola territory when is comes to rejecting worldliness.
Sure, I have misgivings about crossdressing from time to time but the Lord continues to bless me and mine, I try to rest in that.
I attend a United Church of Christ in Jackson, Mississippi. Our congregations is 95% LGBTQ+IA. There are also probably 6 or 7 more affirming churches in Jackson. If you’re a Christian or something else or not sure and just want to meet other like minded people and grow our community then check out a UCC church or another affirming church. I’ve made so many connections at church that have benefitted me in other ways. I joined PFLAG and attended Capital City Pride and the most recent Trans Day of Visibility. None of these were church funtions but I found out about them through church. I’m a Christian but would probably still attend my UCC church even if I wasn’t.
It’s not a religion it’s a relationship with God. I go to a Christian Therapist. My main goal is to invite Christ into my dressing and share those feelings. Once I started doing this I realized that there is NO Condemnation. I am at peace and I know He loves me no matter what I’m wearing. I have gone to Church both in female and male roles. I felt closer to God when I was Trish. I got more out of the service and I was feeling an overwhelming calm and acceptance. Not from those around me, but from God himself. I now understand that God knows everything about me and loves me. He doesn’t need me to be anything but who I am, He only needs me to put my faith in Him and trust that he is with me always. No matter what I’m wearing.
I have so much I could say but I won’t. I have been encourage by all of you that “admit” your faith. BTW, I “admit” mine too. I know how great a division this can cause in any group in any discussion. I will try not to add fuel to that fire.
If not for my faith I would not be alive. I would have taken a shortcut to the end, if you understand my cryptic code. I will readily admit that I’m speaking for myself. Ultimately what you have “faith” in is between your soul and God. Yes, many horrible things have been done in the name of “religion” but I think if you really read between the lines…
Rather than pontificate on, I would just suggest one simple quote I heard one time, “I don’t mind if you do, if you don’t mind if I don’t”
I have much to share – but nothing to prove.
Thanks for listening. You may move around the cabin now.I didn’t grow up in a church family but found faith and joined a Methodist church in my early 20’s. Here in the UK the Methodist church is very accepting of trans and LGBT+ people and many churches will now conduct same sex weddings. There are some trans people serving as ministers. The church is trying to be inclusive. I find that I’m very happy to be part of it.
This right up my alley! I grew up Methodist, then became Baptist, finally Presbyterian. I am an ordained minister and an elder in my church (Presby). I have issues with my religion and my crossdressing for two main reasons. 1) I quit the church when the main Synod (governing body) decided that gays (I’m not) could join our church but could not hold an office or become ministers. 2) I feel I am loved by God, Allah, Buddha, whoever the spiritual is. I don’t think they, he, she, gives a rat’s ass what I wear. I call myself spiritual now when someone asks my religion. I am still legal to marry others, perform baptisms, funerals, etc if they wish. I do house blessings, etc. I don’t tread on other religions out of respect for their religous beliefs. If they don’t like crossdressers so be it. I can’t think of any ceremony that I have preformed where I wasn’t underdressed at the very least. Hugs, Kristen
I was raised in a Christian home. We went to church whenever the church doors were unlocked. I even went to a Christian College, and have a brother and brother-in-law that are ministers. My life values are based in large part on lessons I learned in church. However, I lost my faith in mid-thirties and no longer believe.
I was raised a Lutheran. The messages were do unto others as you would have them do unto you, love thy neighbor, and judge not lest ye be judged. No fire and brimstone. There were no Bible-thumping fundamentalists in my family.
Now, I’m an atheist. There’s no proof that any gods exist, including Zeus, Apollo, and the god of Abraham (the god of the Bible). Blame it on science. I became a skeptic in my early teens, and an atheist in my early 20s. I have no problems, though, with religious people as long as they don’t try to preach to me.
I’ve noticed over the years that, for most people, religion is a private matter. It’s a topic (along with politics) that’s best not discussed with family and friends unless you want some heated discussions. My friends at work and school never bring it up. I knew one person at my Air Force base who went around preaching his version of Christianity. He won a few converts but pretty much alienated everyone. And I can’t stand it when people used government to try to force their religion on everyone.
For myself I was raised Lutheran, but after High School fell away from the Church. In 1985 I fell in love with my wife who was Catholic. I decided to convert to Catholic so we would be able to raise our kids with a united front. My faith has been important to me over the last 30 years. 4 years ago when the pink fog ran me down and I wanted to more and more present as a woman. There are some parts of the Christain faith that are so against CD/Trans individuals and I have struggled with this. But after much searching I have found it is important for me to be Cassie and I think God can accept me as a woman. Some in my local Church know and are at least somewhat accepting.
. Cassie
Thank you Cassie for your insight and expressing your importance for you to be Cassie and God can accept you as a woman… I also feel that way myself.. I am Christian with the belief “Do unto others as you would have them do on to you and love thy neighbor”.. I try to practice that each day… warmest regards, Leonara
Since I have read all the opinions from the fellow girls I would like to add a couple of things that could be very uncomfortable to some girls here. But I have the moral obligation and it’s my right to tell my story too without offending anyone. I believe in love and not hate.
I’m still consider myself catholic. I love and respect my God. As a child i was very active in the church and for some time considered the path to become a priest. My whole aducation including university has been catholic private schools.
When i was a teenager I was molested. Almost raped by a priest who would show me ” the pure love of god” since i was a little bit rebellious at that point in life. My mother sent me for an spiritual weekend with him in which we went to a bday party and got drunk. Then we had to sleep in the same bedroom. Rest of the story you can imagine.
A good friend of mine was beaten to death by his stepfather because he was gay. Mother did nothing to stop the beating since my friend was a sinner.
Then all the scandals about sex abuse all over the world by catholic priest, condoned or hidden by pope ratzinger or benedict xvi made me loose my faith in the catholic religion as an institution.
Pope Francis has returned my faith back when he acknowledged being gay is not a sin and recognized marital status of people of the same gender.
I’m not an active catholic. I don’t go to church because I still don’t believe catholicism as a religion but as an colonizer, dictatorship institution that has indoctrinated unfairly their faithful followers.
I believe in everything good what the church represents. I love and fear God. I consider myself a good person but I don’t believe in the church per se as how it is this days. I hope pope Francis fix it.
So if someone gets uncomfortable hearing that religion played a significant role in my mental health I’m sorry for it. But I was molested, church made me feel ashamed of my feelings, Stigmatized and on top of that my friend was murdered because his only sin was being gay.
Love to all. One God. One love. Same loving supreme power for all of us. Peace.
Claire
I was raised catholic, married my first wife in the catholic church, that marriage lasted 6 yrs. Till one night she came home early from her women’s bowling league with the girls at work and caught me dressed. She yelled and screamed all the typical dirty names. Went to her mother’s after telling me if she came home I better not be dressed or have any women’s clothes of mine in the house. We separated a few weeks later and started a divorce, we could never talk civilly about my dressing and there was no information to be found at least in our town on crossdressing, transvestizm, transsexualism, back in 1975. In July 76 found a newspaper, in a new what was referred to as a dirty book store back then now called an adult bookstore, called Female Impersonator on the front page visible in rack a small add for a convention for Crossdressers, Transvestites, and Transsexuals, I bought the paper and after debating a week or so reached out to contact the number for information/reservations, had to leave a voicemail and asked to be cautious as my phone also was connected and rang at my Mom and Dad’s, I was doing part time locksmithing and Mom would take messages during the day while I was working. I got the call back while I was at my Mom’s a couple days later and asked for an information packet by mail, after it came and I got to check it out I called and made reservations to go for the first weekend with option to stay for the entire 9 days, I went and ended up staying the entire 9 days. Was an enjoyable and educational trip, the convention was and still is held in Provincetown on the tip of Cape Cod about 3 hours from my home in Massachusetts, was called Fantasia Faire at that time and was the 2<sup>nd</sup> year of the event name was changed to Trans Week during the event last year. Met some great people and some real nuts too, one of the biggest things I learned was I wasn’t the only one like me there were other people with the same feelings and needs, also learned that any other woman I might get involved with should know about my female side early in the relationship.
I was going to try and return this year but with an extended trip to visit my sister and friends in New England and some time with a longtime friend from Guyana trip to the event will have to wait till next year. Last year made 47 years, longest running Trans event in the US and the World, held the week after Columbus Day every year. Have money for the event but lodging is beyond my budget for this year with my other trips on my SS but will be able to set aside money for next year although most of the people I knew from 1976 & 1977 are probably gone there will be plenty of people to make new friends with.
Went off on a bit of a tangent but although not a practicing catholic any more I still believe in God and have been blessed in my life, first with the Christmas present I asked for in Feb of 1950 one Sun I asked for a baby sister for Christmas, my sister was born on Dec 23<sup>rd</sup> 1950 exactly the present I asked for, I ended up meeting my Gerri as an acquaintance in Dec and in a relationship with and my second wife, sharing our lives from Fri Jan 7<sup>th</sup> 1977 for 32 years till God called her home on Feb 12<sup>th</sup> 2009, but that another story posted here 7 months back in Personal Crossdressing Stories, A Girlfriend, Wife and Soulmate.
Interesting thread! I always enjoy hearing about experiences of CD/trans/gender fluid folks in different denominations or religions. I plan to attend a church service sometime en femme, just haven’t had the right opportunity yet…
I’m also am starting to get to know some two-spirited Native Americans (Oneida Nation) who live not far from me in Wisconsin. So many cool and interesting facets to the trans community.
In full disclosure, I was brough up Methodist and converted to Catholicism for marriage. My wife has been very supportive of my dual gender identify. The local UCC church sounds like it is the most welcoming in town for LQBTQ folks. So I may start with a visit there before too long.
If your interested in the intersection of trans and religion, especially in North America, I suggest you check out the Queer Theology podcast. Refreshing topics!
Have a great Spring!
Rochelle
Rochelle,
I attend a Presbyterian church, PCUSA, very progressive and welcoming. We have a small UCC church that uses our sanctuary for thier worship services. The UCC church is a wonderful, loving congregation. While our church is completely inclusive and accepting, our LGBTQ+ membership is very small whereas the UCC congregation is almost entirely LGBTQ+. If your local UCC congregation is anything like the one I’m associated with I’d highly recommend them. Personally I am totally in the closet and have never been to either church service em femme, but I have been to the UCC worship in drab and again, lovely group.
💖Lola
I never actually left the Presbyterian Church as such. I just stopped attending in the early 2000’s. At the time, there were some progressive congregations and some were not. As I remember, the national organization was struggling a bit with how to move forward and I just decided that I didn’t need the hassle and the wait to see what they would do. Also, I was trying to just keep a low profile and not attract any undue attention. Corning, NY was about 12,000. News travels quickly in that kind of situation had I vocalized why I thought the way I did.
My former brother-in-law retired from the UCC ministry quite of few years ago. To their credit, they seemed to do things a bit differently and evidently that continues.
I’m Jewish. I used to attend the Saturday morning youth services until my bar mitzvah. Afterwards, I didn’t go too often.
My father was a member of a small congregation, and they were having trouble getting the needed quarum to do certain parts of the service. I enjoyed going to synagogue, and I went with him until it closed.
After getting married, I usually only attended services on the High Holy Days. We would travel from New Jersey to Brooklyn and sleep over in my parent’s (and my old) apartment to go to services on these days.
When my third child was born, we decided to join a local synagogue. I became a regular attendee. Over the years I became even more active, and take on some leadership roles and have even led some of the services.
Last year, the Jewish holiday of Purim fell on March 16/17. In judaism, the day begins and ends at sundown, not at midnight. On Purim it is customary to dress up in costumes. I chose to dress as a leprechaun, wearing a white shirt with a sparkly green bow tie, green shorts, green footless tights, some knee high nude stockings, and black shoes. The knee-highs were to keep me from sticking to my shoes. I wore a red wig that I had as well. I had a small green basket in which I put gold foil covered chocolates (my pot-o-gold).
That evening, someone came to me and told me they thought I was a woman until I turned around and she saw who I was. She laughed and congratulated me on fooling her.
I was raised in a Southern Baptist Church, every Sunday our family would attend Sunday School, and Church service, When a High School Senior on a Sunday morning we had a different preacher. On way home my Dad told us the Preacher who was married with children ran away with another mans Wife, the end of my church going, never believed all the inconsistency and hell fire damnation.
In the beginning Man created God.Lynda
I too was raised in the southern Baptist Church, when I reached adulthood I soon realized that everything I was doing or feeling was going to send me to hell, funny part is that there were people in the church doing way worse than putting on female clothes!! But I’d still be the one who would be shamed. I got away from it and it was a weight lifted off my shoulders! If god isn’t going to accept me because I wear different clothes than what is expected of from the other people, even though I do everything else I can to be a good person then I guess I’ll just have to deal with that in the end.
I was brought up with religion being a huge influence on my childhood. I was afraid of going to hell because I did not feel I was “born again” . Nothing spoke to me when I was in it. It took years to realize but I feel that there are people who need to live their lives by the religion they believe because it keeps them on the straight and narrow. They need it because if they did not have that structure they would be very bad people. Like aa’s, it is needed for some! I have inner piece and I am only alive once as I know it so I truly believe I am going to do what makes me happy! Cd is one of the joys I have and I enjoy every second of it, lol it speaks to me and I feel born again!!
I was raised Lutheran, currently Presbyterian (PCUSA). I am an active ordained elder in my congregation. With that said, I am not out to my church family but that’s my choice. I know they would accept me in every way and support me as a member and leader in the congregation. Our church is very open to the LGBTQ+ community in all aspects of church life. Honestly, it’s other aspects of my life that cause me to stay private, not my church. Lets just say that the church I attend is far more accepting than the community I live in.
💖Lola
Before I was ten years old, I can remember going to church with my family maybe once or twice. As far as I am aware, I was never baptized. Apparently, that was my mother’s decision (thanks, Mom). Then we moved to a tiny community and never went to a service ever again. Religion never meant anything to me personally, so when I studied ancient history and found the Greek mythology fascinating during my archaeology years, I guess that I realized then that all gods were imaginary and moved on with my life in this regard, so I never had any guilt trips laid on me.
My wife was raised Catholic, but I don’t think she ever got indoctrinated by them. She did go to church on Sundays before we met, but, as with many in her immigrant community, it had to be more of a social thing not because of any beliefs. I attended one social event with her over 30 years ago, during which the young females paraded around in a circle like a meat market. Not sure what that was all about, but it disgusted me and I never went there with her ever again. She stopped soon after, too.
While many find their faith comforting, some of the stories here show other effects. I wish you peace with those troubles. Fortunately, the main thing that bugs me about crossdressing is society is too conservative, in general, adding needless public constraints. Things could be worse. It’s tough enough being part of a small group (1-2%?) of which many have to repress themselves, but we manage, somehow.
My feeling is that religion, per se, is not the problem. The problem is how people attempt to refashion religion in order to support their own prejudices. Evidently they have selectively bypassed the phrase:
Let He Who Is Without Sin Cast The First Stone…
However, when you have been on the wrong end of things, it is probably difficult to separate the teachings from the actions of the practitioners.
My mother certainly tried to raise me in religion but completely failed. I remember questioning the whole thing even at a very young age and gave up the whole thing as soon as I could get away with it (mid-teens?)
That said, I am fascinated by religion and have studied it and its many forms for years. I am currently in Nepal and am fascinated by its mix of Buddhism and Hinduism. One was very tolerant, and the other not so much.
I firmly believe in freedom of religion, as well as freedom from religion. People are welcome to believe what they want, but only for themselves. I have a real problem when they start telling me, and others how to dress or behave based on THEIR religion.
Religion is what destroyed my self worth. My family is very religious so i get that, but I want nothing to do with it anymore. Im not against God, but I find most christians lack basic human understanding based on their so called morality. But on the same page I hope you let the tug of war go. God made you right? If you arent doing anything perverted and you just like clothes and are happy feeling how you do..just let it be. Im pretty sure God doesnt mind your outfit choice for the day. Lol.
But its been tough for me because of my family. They say they all lobe and support me for the most part, but my ears get a different message than my heart does. All they see is wrong, all I see is right. I choose me over their judgement, but I do so without judging them back. Its a funny world we live in.
Here lives one of my biggest complaints about Christianity. One of the major tenants is “judge not, lest you be judged”. Yet, they are one of the most judhemental religions out there. The Bhuddism I have encountered here in Nepal is very refreshing in that regard. Here you take your own path and it will. lead you to nirvana… eventually.
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