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  • #397524
    Heather Jameson
    Participant
    Registered On: April 1, 2019
    Topics: 7
    Replies: 350
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    A pretty straight forward one here ladies. How many times have you been asked why you dress or are trans? I’m thinking of having a video made of me sitting explaining it, the answer being, nobody really knows, and putting it on my phone so when they ask I just send it to them. I’m sick of explaining it. I do this because this is me, this lets you see the real Heather and it makes me feel my “normal”. I also believe this is the way I was hardwired, I figure the person wiring me up at the baby factory was sitting there at 4:29 with 2 wires left and he’s thinking now was that red here and black there or the other way round. He looks at the clock, see’s it’s quitting time and instead of consulting the wiring diagram goes oh here plugs in the las t 2 wires and heads to the bar for a couple of cocktails. Ten years later I’m walking around the house in my sister’s undies, a pretty pink dress and high heel boots. Who knows? Any thoughts?

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    • #398824
      Rachel Cross
      Participant
      Registered On: October 13, 2020
      Topics: 19
      Replies: 154
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      ask her who wore a skirt first man or woman? i believe it was a caveman. probably to keep the bushes from slapping his nuts as he was hunting for animals to kill for food. nobody really wore pants until the early 1700 or 1800’s. back in the early 1900’s all baby boys were dressed in dresses until they were about 5. and another good question is who said blue is for boys and pink is for girls? these are things drilled in everyones head from when you were born. that dont mean they are right.

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    • #398662
      Bobbi
      Participant
      Registered On: September 13, 2018
      Topics: 26
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      I would ask these people “Why do you wear the clothes you wear?”.
      To the men:  “How old were you when you decided to wear pants?”.
      Women: “At what age,  did you decide you are required to wear a dress?”

      4 users thanked author for this post.
    • #398644
      Jessica Wilde
      Participant
      Registered On: October 5, 2020
      Topics: 27
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      The only one who keeps asking those questions of me is my fiancé whom I just told I was a CD 2 weeks ago. I’m pretty sick of explaining myself too. Matter of fact I’m really sick of it. A discussion got somewhat heated last night because of going back to the trans thing. She is hung up on because I want to dress I’m actually transgender. I kinda went a little crazy and told her probably 10 times in 10 different ways I don’t want to be a woman! I just like dressing like one. Then here we’d go again “so you must wanna be a woman then”.

      Yeah it gets very tiring trying to explain ourselves. I am who I am and that person is a man that likes to wear women’s clothes. End of story. I know it’s strange but that’s it. Nothing more, nothing less. I’m so tired of those questions it’s not even funny and I’ve only heard them for 2 weeks.

      Something that is so basic and just a part of us is extremely hard for others to wrap their head around. They don’t understand how it helps us or why it’s a part of us. To us it’s simple. We like women’s clothes. Not so simple for the rest of the world.

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    • #398482
      Krista
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      Registered On: January 24, 2017
      Topics: 5
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      Hi Heather, I wish my wife would ask me “why?” but she never has.  Then we could have a conversation about it, but she adamantly refuses to talk about it, and I so wish that I could share.  I guess she knows enough about me to know “why” in her mind without having to talk about it more.  She knows that my Mom always wanted a daughter and that Mom gave me the name Krista.  My wife also knows that I think woman’s clothing is much more comfortable. But there are so many other reasons she and I could talk about.  Oh well, maybe some day.   Stay safe, stay healthy, All the Best, Hugs, Krista.

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    • #398454
      Heather Jameson
      Participant
      Registered On: April 1, 2019
      Topics: 7
      Replies: 350
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      Thank you all for your responses, some good reading and a couple of good chuckles in there too.

      2 users thanked author for this post.
    • #398230
      Rei Durden
      Participant
      Registered On: October 11, 2020
      Topics: 14
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      That analogy of the late night assembly at the baby factory is hilarious!

      3 users thanked author for this post.
    • #398183
      Kimmie
      Participant
      Registered On: September 27, 2016
      Topics: 3
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      DES was thought to be a fertility drug, in particular assisting women who had what were called a “T-shaped uterus.” There were several side effects attributed to the drug, including uterine cancer and its use spawned a lot of litigation. A log time ago, as a young lawyer, I worked on a few cases.

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    • #398068
      DeeAnn Hopings
      Participant
      Registered On: November 10, 2019
      Topics: 11
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      diethylstilbesterol

      I can’t say either way, but the FDA took it off the approved drug list by about 1971. That means that it would be very unlikely that anyone just under 50 years old would have been exposed…

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    • #398064
      DeeAnn Hopings
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      Registered On: November 10, 2019
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      I don’t recall anyone asking, but it would be a very short conversation. I would say that so far no scientists or medical personnel have any determination. Besides, how often does anyone ask a gay person why they are gay?

      For the foreseeable future, for all of this, there is no answer…

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    • #398063
      Lucinda Hawkns
      Participant
      Registered On: September 1, 2015
      Topics: 6
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      my wife asked me why i dress up and do i have to dress up every day, then sometimes she will say to me when she sees me dressed up  so will say REALLY. don’t you get tired of it.    if she would sit down with me while i am dressed up pretty  i would tell her how i feel dressed up, why i dress up  but she would not believe it any ways. i dress up for i feel that i should be a female and it also helps me relax and be free of being a male, less depression, less panic attacks. and also the female clothing feels and fits better then male cloths. woman’s clothing feels so much more comfortable to wear.  even wearing a pad feels more comfortable and wearing nylons gives my legs a massage feeling, the bar feels so good with the straps around my back and over my shoulders. the wind blowing against my nylon legs, the feel of a dress as i walk around and feel the dress move with me the sound of heels clicking against the floor as i walk , the smell of perfume, the feel of ear rings dangle on my ears, the look of eye shadow on my eyes, the look of mascara on my lases.

      3 users thanked author for this post.
    • #398056
      stephanie plumb
      Participant
      Registered On: November 17, 2018
      Topics: 97
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      Brilliant!  You have caught the essence of the neuroscience theories and explanation with a perfect analogy to what happened. You have made my day.

      Stephanie P

      2 users thanked author for this post.
    • #398036
      Paula F
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      Registered On: August 7, 2019
      Topics: 11
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      I have answered that question more times than I care to try and count.  99% who ask get the same honest answer, it’s who I am and how I live my life.  If it is put forward in a manner I can tell is not a sincere effort to try and  understand me, then the ‘smarty panties’ cinch themselves up and out come some pretty biting statements.  My favorite is to look down my front and look at them surprised and ask what the h**l I was drinking last night, or something along those lines.

      PaulaF

      3 users thanked author for this post.
    • #397862
      PY Marshall
      Participant
      Registered On: July 21, 2018
      Topics: 1
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      I have only been asked 3 times .1 my wife , 2 her mum and 3, our youngest daughter I told them all the same answer, that it makes me feel happy and i just love it.PS a huge commendation to the sparky.

      4 users thanked author for this post.
    • #397860
      Tiff Any
      Participant
      Registered On: June 1, 2019
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      Lots of times , along with lots of other questions….my response is I want to feel beautiful & it completes me , never had a negative response to this….some perplexed looks occasionally but I have perplexed responses to other peoples situations also.🌹🌹

       

      6 users thanked author for this post.
    • #397848
      Amanda Burton
      Participant
      Registered On: January 15, 2020
      Topics: 7
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      I just say because I absolutely love it and enjoy doing so, I’ve never had  a problem with it.

      3 users thanked author for this post.
    • #397552
      Heather Stevens
      Participant
      Registered On: March 7, 2018
      Topics: 0
      Replies: 21
      Has thanked: 10 times
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      I have often wondered if my Mom took diethylstilbesterol (DES) which was a miscarriage drug that has some potential links to “why” we are who / what we are.  I am told I cannot place links here, so just Google “DES and gender identity disorder”.  That can help explain why we are potentially “hot wired” as you say this way?

      6 users thanked author for this post.
    • #397546
      Araminta Purdy
      Participant
      Registered On: January 23, 2020
      Topics: 1
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      That’s one reason why I came up with the response, “For the same reason anyone dresses. To be pretty!”. If they want to discuss it further we can get into details.

      Araminta.

      5 users thanked author for this post.
    • #397530
      Kelly
      Participant
      Registered On: April 8, 2020
      Topics: 3
      Replies: 49
      Has thanked: 1032 times
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      I loved the analogy, well said.

      4 users thanked author for this post.
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