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    • #641115
      Stephaniewy
      Lady
      Registered On: September 24, 2021
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      Usually dress somewhat most mornings when at home.  Went for a week out of town and no dressing allowed as I was with the guys.  Didnt think to much about it but could feel the urge growing.  Got home showered and shaved up, slipped into a bra, panties, blouse etc and wow it felt so nice and relaxing.  Couldn’t believe the feeling.

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    • #640319
      Amy Catrelle
      Lady
      Registered On: January 2, 2022
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      As I live alone I tend to dress in some form almost everyday, and I now always wear ladies nightwear. For me it’s both fun and a stress reliever. I also like the excitement of the secrecy and keeping it as something I only do at home. When I’m out or at work I’m always in drab and perfectly happy to be, as underdressing makes me uncomfortable.

    • #640270
      Leah
      Baroness
      Registered On: June 13, 2018
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      Betty,

      I typically under dress daily. Depending on what is going on, I may dress once or twice a week in the evenings,  and wear a chemise to bed half the time. If my wife was more ok with it, I would dress more often as I enjoy dressing up and it feels good.   It is a bit of a stress reliever and sexual for me.

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    • #640248
      Jin Crocker
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      Registered On: November 15, 2019
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      Hi Betty,

      Easy for me, my wife picks out my clothes every day. I do not know if I will be a girl or a boy untill I step out of the shower and see what she has laid out for me. She has me in girl things several days per week on average. I have been a girl all week several times, and one memorable summer, from May to the end of July!

      All of my undies are girly, both everyday styles and ‘date night’ styles.

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    • #640186
      Anonymous
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      Currently, I dress up two times a week. I have a strong desire to dress up more, but as my wife is trying to understand this new side of me, dressing up continuously in her face is not respectful. And I notice that sometimes she starts asking me to wear certain dresses or lingerie from her closet. So she is really doing her best, but from my side, I need to give her that space.

      As she works two nights a week, I use those moments to dress as Hannah. And I love it. Those are currently the only moments that I want to give in to Hannah, as I also love being my male version. Hanna is an extra part of me. The desire to be feminine is certainly playing a factor for me as well.

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      • #640194
        Betty Rockwell
        Baroness
        Registered On: March 9, 2022
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        Hannah,
        Thank you for your response. I like the part where you said “Hannah is an extra part of me.” I’m learning that it is extra and there are things to be enjoyed now that Michayla Rockwell is part of my life. There is a benefit to having a husband and girlfriend wrapped up in one.

        Hugs,
        Betty

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    • #640177
      Wendy Swift
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      Registered On: May 11, 2020
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      If it hasn’t been said already, i don’t dress often enough !  lol

      In all seriousness, I usually keep my full transformation to the weekends.  Oddly enough, still working from home I don’t do a full transformation often, only once in a blue moon.  I am just afraid that the day I do a full transformation to work in the “office” my boss reaches out to me to complete an urgent task and I don’t get to it until 1.5 hours later, which could land me in serious hot water.

      Mostly it is 2 days a week, which is the weekends usually.

      Pretty much now anything triggers my instinct to dress, which is work stress (and of late medical stress).  I know both won’t go away anytime soon, but it does provide me with a nice escape.

       

    • #640168
      Cece X
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      Registered On: April 8, 2020
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      Thanks for asking, Betty. I am enjoying this thread.
      I dress privately and underdress publicly every two or three months for about four or five days straight. On the first day, i enjoy it so much that I wonder why I do not do this all the time. By the fourth or fifth day, it begins to feel routine and not so special anymore. I never really lose total interest in dressing, but the high that it gives me on the first and second day fades to the point where the simplicity of wearing just t-shirts and going commando under shorts becomes more compelling. Often, the trigger to get me started again is the arrival in the mail of something new I ordered.
      CeCe

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    • #640098
      MelanieElizabeth
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      Registered On: January 9, 2021
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      Hi Betty. I dress about once a month or so but I’d like to do it more if I could.  I wouldn’t want to more than a couple of times a week and only for a couple of hours each time. I love transforming myself into someone different but it’s a lot of work at times so it’s not an every day deal for me. I don’t underdress generally speaking but I can see how it can be a nice stop gap measure for some. As far as triggers Betty, I don’t feel like I have one but I will say this. Absence makes the heart grow fonder! If it’s been months, I’ll be miserable and it shows! I simply need to scratch that itch so to speak.

    • #639640
      Donna Rice
      Duchess
      Registered On: August 14, 2017
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      Right now twice a month in private. Recently I have been having stronger feminine desires especially when I shop in boy mode.

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    • #639637
      Pumped
      Lady
      Registered On: November 22, 2020
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      I dress to some degree almost every day. Probably 3-4 times a week I fully dress, the other days partially, women’s jeans, tops, undies. Some days I might wear forms in male clothing. It is rare I am not wearing some article of women’s clothing.

      I am fortunate to have a wive that is accepting.

    • #639564
      Davina
      Duchess - Annual
      Registered On: April 15, 2022
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      Betty, I am new to crossdressing. My wife is not totaling on board with me doing so. Due to back problems I have to sleep in a chair, so at night I sleep in a nightie and bra. Currently,  I only cross dress when my wife goes to bed upstairs and before she wakes up in the morning (we are retired) so she gets up late.

      I have started to wear panties and bras under my male clothes. I look forward to the summer when I can put on a dress and sit out in my back deck in the morning.

      My wife and I are still working through this and I am hopeful some day to be able to dress in front of her.

    • #639556
      ANDREA RAVEN
      Lady
      Registered On: December 21, 2017
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      Hi Betty

      The urge to crossdress is for me something I have grown up with. I first started crossdressing at a very young age pre-puberty so it is not a result of depression or lack of  fulfilment in my relationship.  I believe I was born this way, it is genetic which despite trying for years to stop I never managed it. Now I have accepted who I am, both the male and female sides of me I am a far happier person. I dress two or three times a week sometimes more, depending on circumstances and I go for evenings and days out from time to time. If circumstances were different I would probably dress full time………….

    • #639555
      Darcy Grigsby
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      Registered On: July 1, 2020
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      I am closeted to most of the world (my therapist, a couple of MUA, and a couple of SA’s know). At home this is a deep secret. So with that my dressing occurs when the opportunity arises and I nearly always use those opportunities.

      I go to a gym most mornings and one of the things my spouse is okay with is leggings so when she bought some for herself that were the softest I had ever touched I asked for some and she obliged (prior to that it was men’s leggings). So now I just buy this female brand and wear those to the gym, I just love the high waist which gets hidden by my male tank top. Many men who wear leggings do so while wearing athletic shorts,but I don’t bother with the shorts and nobody seems to care. The gym is about 30mins away and since I leave in the dead of morning before anyone is up I will slip on a bra and my forms and enjoy the ride over like this. If time permits I will sit in the parking lot enjoying the weight of my chest and the softness of my legs as I get caught up on CDH and my Darcy email. Then I will remove the bra and forms and head inside. After my shower I moisturize and slip on my pretty panties for the day. This is what I refer to as my maintenance dressing. It’s not complete but it helps me cope.

      When opportunity comes about when I can fully dress I plan well for it. This happens when I can work from home when my wife is at work and the kids are at school. This is a special time and I enjoy it immensely,but it is infrequent. My other opportunity is when I have my monthly therapy session. I fully dress for this session (except for makeup). And it is one of the highlights of my month as I get to dress up and interact with someone. I plan my outfits well in advance.

      As for what triggers it all? Stress is a factor but it’s also just an underlying desire. I really just enjoy dressing pretty and escaping the the responsibilities of my male life. Dressing is fun and pleasurable. I dislike having to undo it all and return to male mode. I wish this weren’t a secret, I wish I could dress in the way I want but I also don’t want to hurt/disappoint those that I love.

    • #639550
      Janet Woodham
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      Registered On: January 21, 2021
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      Thank you Betty for this post.

      1. I fully dress every day and I fundamentally I want to be a woman but I do not feel HRT or surgery are for me but I would ideally be as close to full time as possible eventually.

      2. Stress has been a trigger in the past but it is now as I said above a desire to be a woman. It is debateable whether I am CD or transgender female. It is probably the former as I don’t go out in public at this stage and also for the reasons I have given above.

      Janet

    • #639522
      Michelle McQueen
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      Registered On: June 14, 2021
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      Sometimes we just have to take off our skin that we present to the world and jump about in our true bones.

    • #639518
      Michelle Smith
      Lady
      Registered On: March 22, 2022
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      Good morning Betty. Wearing female clothing is daily for me starting with my robe and slippers, excersise clothes. My SO and i share a underwear drawer from which select my daily panties. Might slip on a dress or skirt if I have laundry or other light housework to do. Later in the day I might wear yoga pants and women’s top for helping with dinner or relaxing watching TV. If there’s a trigger it must be when I wake up because I lay in bed thinking of outfits I would like to wear that day. Never has my desire to wear female clothing been tied to my current relationship. To me it’s a desire that’s inside me and I don’t believe tied to depression. Interesting that your therapist would suggest that but what do I know. Good luck

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    • #639515
      jennifer
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      Registered On: February 11, 2016
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      I dress in womans clothes 24 hrs a day every day even at work and now its getting warmer its harder to where my 36b bra

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    • #639507
      Emily Alt
      Duchess - Annual
      Registered On: August 24, 2019
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      I’ll answer from the time when I considered myself a CD.

      At first it was only when time allowed – a few times a month.  When my gender dysphoria became stronger, I underdressed every day.  I stopped underdressing when I began to realize I was more than a crossdresser.  Underdressing had become frustrating because I wasn’t being my authentic self.  So I amped up my therapy and went back to dressing whenever I could.  Fortunately, by then I was able to blend in.  My experiences were less frequent but more fulfilling.  That’s how things stayed until I decided to transition.

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    • #639409
      Gine Lynne Carter
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      Registered On: April 16, 2022
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      I’m still mostly cloested but I try to underdress at least in panties or a thong every day. In my valuable alone time I’ll slip on one of my bras under a loose shirt.

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    • #639164
      Jess Secret
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      Registered On: February 18, 2021
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      I wear lingerie or satin pjs to bed every night which is 99% of my CD wardrobe. It’s a desire to be as fem and girly as I can possibly be, and having a boyfriend to admire me in my romantic sleepwear makes it even better.

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    • #639128
      Patty Phose
      Duchess
      Registered On: May 7, 2016
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      I dress everyday because I love it. The thrill, excitement and euphoria I feel, I can’t get any other way.

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    • #639067
      Natasha Inaskirt
      Lady
      Registered On: August 6, 2020
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      A great question and some fascinating answers. I love this site for allowing us to discuss these issues.

      Firstly I dress with my wife’s knowledge when she goes out for a reasonable period of time, so it is probably about once a week fully, wit makeup etc.. But I underdress maybe two or three times a week.

      What triggers it is harder to define. The underdressing is just part of me I think, I enjoy the idea of a little secret. But, the need to dress fully is definitely always lurking and as others have said it is a compulsion, like many I have tried to stop. I now accept I can’t because I am probably gender fluid, although I only like women.

      I do think the more you chat and go on crossdressing websites the stronger the need is. I am not particularly under any stress, but it is definitely the case I am more easy going and relaxed after and during dressing. My wife has even noticed the change in me. Is that because I am not stressed about wanting to or is it some sort of stress release mechanism. I don’t know. It is as quite self re-affirming, I like to see myself in a skirt and think ‘yes this is me’, in many ways I like myself more as a girl. I guess there is also a minor sexual element, but not anything I act upon, perhaps it is just because of feeling good. Again, my wife says I have become far more sexual since I came out to her. So I think, in summary, because it feels so good and so right, but also as a stress valve.

      Lastly I was intrigued by those who say they dress more in the winter. I understand that and think it is because many of us like to feel nylon on our legs. Plus it is easier to shave them in the winter because we don’t wear shorts.

      Natasha x

    • #639057
      Regina Darkside
      Lady
      Registered On: November 10, 2020
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      Lately I’ve only been able to dress about once a week after work. I work at a jobber parts store and purposely delay getting the warehouse returns done until after the store closes and I’m alone so I can dress for a little stress relief.
      Had a nice couple hours on Thursday wearing garter hose and several outfits and relaxing.
      Trying to figure out how to pull off underdressing while at work…

    • #639056
      Paula Johnson
      Lady
      Registered On: April 16, 2022
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      For me it’s more and more every week. My wife loves shopping for me. I can’t wait until I retire so I can be more passable.

    • #639055
      Mia Mor’e
      Baroness
      Registered On: June 27, 2021
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      Not nearly enough!

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    • #639053
      Stephanie MacNeil
      Lady
      Registered On: January 31, 2022
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      I dress head to toe every day.  If I had my choice, it would probably be 3-4 days, but my wife insists and I comply.

      Before I told my wife, it was as often as opportunity presented, which was when she and the kids were out of the house or when I was on a business trip.  Even after I told her, the kids were still a limiting factor and my opportunities were still rare.

      As others have said, I didn’t experience it as triggers.  I always had the desire, which, with the stress of work and constantly being denied opportunity, pent up over time.  Then when opportunity presented, I would be absolutely compelled to dress.  The only times I wouldn’t when I had the opportunity was when I was sick or felt it was too risky (someone could come home).  I’ve always had that desire, and it has nothing to do with any deficiency on my wife’s part, or depression or anything else.  The seed was planted when I was 5.

      As a side note, I wanted to respond to those who said their desire to dress increased when  the weather turned cold.  I totally agree!  My desire would wane considerably over the summer, but came back with a vengeance in September.

      Stephanie

      • #639054
        Satesha King
        Lady
        Registered On: March 27, 2022
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        Hi Stephanie, I’m curious about your wife insisting after you told her. Please tell me more.

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        • #639094
          Stephanie MacNeil
          Lady
          Registered On: January 31, 2022
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          My wife’s businesses were doing really well and I was miserable in my job, so we decided I would stay home and take care of the house and her.  I had dressed before to do housework once or twice, and she knew that doing so gave me energy, focus and pride in what I was doing.  So as part of the agreement that I stay home was that I do so dressed and maintain everything to high standards.  She teased me and said “If your going to be my housewife, you may as well look the part too”.  After a while, it became obvious that she really enjoyed seeing me perform my duties dressed and it sparked her dominant streak.  She now insists that I dress each day and maintain myself to high standards.  She likes being the breadwinner and having me do all the things men used to make their wives do – wear high heels (3 in. minimum), maintain my figure, watch for runs in my hose, keep up my skin care routine, keep my legs shaved (and the rest of my body waxed), etc.  I comply and try to look nice for her and cook and clean well for her as a sign of respect, love and devotion.

          • #639517
            Darcy Grigsby
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            Registered On: July 1, 2020
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            That is living the dream in my eyes. I would adore that arrangement.

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          • #639166
            Satesha King
            Lady
            Registered On: March 27, 2022
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            Oh that is my idea of heaven.

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    • #639044
      karley delaware
      Baroness - Annual
      Registered On: October 23, 2017
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      Hi Betty

      Every morning after letting the dogs out ……..I dress in a simple  skater dress with thin shoulder straps…………..I have a SO approved….pony tail ……..enjoy the morning shadows of me in a dress and pony tail …….feeling the hair down my back……..drink coffee……………..sit in a rocking chair feeling so girly!!!  When I let the dogs back in………..the cool morning air ……the dress….the pony tail……mmmm…..so girly!!!   Then I set up SO’s morning meds and eye drops…….she can’t see very well for now, so I just put on a t-shirt over my dress……..and give her the meds and morning coffee…………while dressed!!  Talking to her while dressed is so …..exciting!   As her sight improves………..she’ll “see me”………maybe she see’s but is not letting on how much……………….I am a lot different than in guy mode……………..hope that helps …………………sometimes we have rational discussions about gender identity……….binary and non-binary…………….she likes my pony tail…..it was her idea……………..maybe she knows more than I think she does…………………………………….k

    • #639037
      ChloeC
      Duchess
      Registered On: November 5, 2019
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      Hi Betty,  well, I don’t dress as much as I’d like, but when we’re not traveling or there are no other unique events that we have to attend to, I dress usually twice a week, just in the mornings, when I’m alone and pretty sure no one will be coming around.  And I fully dress, heels, low or medium, bra and panties, a dress or shirt and top, wig, a touch of make up, maybe a bracelet, necklace, earrings, sometimes padding in various places, sometimes not.   I just feel so comfortable being dressed and just enjoying the morning, a little breakfast, checking email, etc. Just nice and relaxing.  And then all too soon, it all has to go away…until the next time.

      Hugs, ChloeC

    • #639036
      Anonymous
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      I wear high heels every day; fully dressed not as often as I use to, ie not just in the mood lately.

      Jennifer

    • #638971
      Peta Mari
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      Registered On: September 30, 2020
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      I have lost a lot of weight. 45kg. I have found womens skinny jeans fit me better than mens jeans.

      20 years ago I hurt my back. And pinched a nerve in my groin. My chiropractor suggested I wear support pantyhose. Which progressed to tights. After researching it, I discovered many men who are on their feet all day do like wise. Military, police, builders, barmen, airline stewards etc.

      So in that regards often. But I don’t consider that as part of cding.

      For me the dressing would be whenever my wife goes away for a few days.

      • #639046
        Stephanie MacNeil
        Lady
        Registered On: January 31, 2022
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        I wanted to congratulate you on your weight loss.  I’ve lost a smaller amount and I know it’s not easy.  It’s an accomplishment and I admire your strength and commitment.

        I have had sciatic nerve pain in my leg and foot sporadically for 30 years. I know what it’s like to deal with that too and I hope you have successfully managed it.

        Stephanie

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    • #638963
      Lynne Sobe
      Lady
      Registered On: June 2, 2021
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      Hello Betty,

      Looking at your profile, people might be missing your question.

      We all have things in our life we are more drawn too. I enjoy doing hair and makeup. I have always been into it since I was young. I would do makeup and hair every day 24/7 if I could. Now it is three or four times a week for a few hours. After hair and makeup, I will dress and relax. I have an SO that will let me indulge sometimes, when we are together. I do more dressing when she is gone. Since she is working now, I can do it often on my own. I would prefer to do it together daily with her, but that is not what she signed up for.

      Believe me that most of us just enjoy it, no triggers. I love my other, but sometimes it turns her off, because I’m more enticed when I am in Femme mode.

      Not a complete answer, but glad you are on the journey of trying to understand, why and stand beside him/her.

      Lynne Sobe

    • #638955
      Zenn
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      Registered On: April 4, 2022
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      I dress daily, skirt, thigh highs, panties, earrings nail polish.  Wife and I usually get our nails done every 3-4 weeks.  The only time I wear pants is working on the vehicles, or projects around the house.

      The trigger, I feel better, it took 64 years to first try nail polish, decide I liked how it made me feel, progressed from there.

       

       

    • #638934
      Marie Chandler
      Baroness
      Registered On: June 29, 2020
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      These days, it’s about once a month and I’ll only dress if I have the time to do it completely head to toe.

    • #638927
      Amanda Woods
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      Registered On: November 26, 2019
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      I underdress every day, and to some degree or another dress prior to or after work. When i work out, i am in workout leggings, spots bra and a top. When not working out i love to wear a dress and heels, i just enjoy it so much and try to feel as feminine as possible, love to you all sisters.

    • #638904
      Gabriela Romani
      Managing Ambassador
      Registered On: January 11, 2021
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      I have very few opportunities to cd. Mostly because I only do it whenever I may have at least a few days to make it worthwhile.

      Outside from those chances… not at all. Underdressing doesn’t appeal to me. Dressing partially either. Or even totally for a couple hours. I’m odd, I know! 😉

      It is just that while I certainly love having the chances to express more fully who I am, the clothes themselves are somehow secondary, since who I am doesn’t change regardless to what I may be wearing at the time.

      Not better or worse than anybody. Just different. Just me.

      Edit: I forgot to say… I’m most definitely not transitioning!!! Happy being who I am!

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    • #638890
      RachelAnn
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      Registered On: April 17, 2019
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      Good morning Betty,

      My dressing is very sporadic. Usually the urge hits hardest in the colder months. Why that is I have no idea. Probably because I use a lot of shapewear to achieve my curves and the heat is uncomfortable.   I do a little bit of underdressing from time to time but not much.  I would say that these days I generally dress fully 2 or 3 times a year. 90% of the time I’m fully dressed as a male head to toe. Some of that is circumstances and opportunities are few and far between, some is I just don’t have the desire to do so. If I could I would probably dress more, but probably not as often as weekly or even monthly. I’m sure you’ve heard the pink fog term, and mine is very random. It seems to pop up quickly and disappear just as quick.

      To the second part of your question, it can be a number of things that spark it.  Stress seems to be a large factor. From there it can be the sensory/feeling or comfort of it. Sometimes it just feels nice to step outside myself.  Sometimes I just want to feel pretty from time to time, lol.

    • #638877
      Becky Davis
      Lady
      Registered On: February 10, 2022
      Topics: 0
      Replies: 71
      Has thanked: 580 times
      Been thanked: 298 times

      I dress every morning, being by myself I will dress anytime although I don’t go out in public full dress but I’m always in panty’s and starting to get some camisoles to wear during the day. There is nothing that I can say triggers getting dressed it’s just fun. I enjoy looking on line at different places for clothes, a new favorite place Zulily, they have a lot of cute clothes. Been dressing since a really young age…

    • #638876
      Teri Linnealis
      Lady
      Registered On: January 28, 2022
      Topics: 10
      Replies: 89
      Has thanked: 221 times
      Been thanked: 428 times

      BETTY,

      Everyday: panties, light bra with small forms, light mascara and eyeliner, painted toe nails, shaved legs

      Once a week or “not nearly enough” I power dress with make-up and wig and….everything

      I do not dress for any reason other than “it makes me feel great”  Hugs, TERI

    • #638875
      Samantha Jo
      Lady
      Registered On: April 3, 2021
      Topics: 5
      Replies: 98
      Has thanked: 991 times
      Been thanked: 542 times

      Hi Betty

      I underdress every day in panties and bralettes and dress fully as Samantha at least once a week with full makeup and my wig. As for what triggers me to dress this is a question I have been asking myself for over 50 years, it could be the feeling of the different materials against my  skin or the delight of putting on lipstick and the feminine odour of my perfume, I don’t know all that I do know is that Samantha is a part of me and I would hate to be without her.

      Samantha x

    • #638869
      Katie Plowright
      Lady
      Registered On: October 15, 2021
      Topics: 4
      Replies: 195
      Has thanked: 1065 times
      Been thanked: 988 times

      Good question Betty and one I’ve wanted to pose myself. For me it’s on average once a week but I may go a couple of weeks without. Everyday is a thong and maybe a camisole under a shirt. My wife is fully accepting but I still anxious her seeing me dressed, maybe it’s to many years in the closet. Triggers are simply that dressing relaxes me and I love feminine clothes. Katie.

    • #638867
      Ashley Konners
      Lady
      Registered On: August 15, 2020
      Topics: 40
      Replies: 571
      Has thanked: 2064 times
      Been thanked: 2738 times

      Well like some have said it’s panties, bra and pantyhose ( in the cooler months) everyday. Even when kids are home I do what wife and I call my “morning fix” of pantyhose,jean skirt and top with panties and bra of course as I’m an early riser.  Again like others I’m wearing womens clothes a lot more lately when still presenting as a man. But for fully dressing , wig , makeup , accessories heels would be as often as time permits. I’m very lucky to have an understanding wife who had limits in the past but now knowing how much it helps with my anxiety she tells me to dress everyday if I want and to do what makes me happy. I do it nowadays as it’s become second nature and just feels natural to be dressing this way. I’m very in touch with my feminine side and absolutely love every second of it.

      • #638933
        Kathy Jackson
        Lady
        Registered On: September 3, 2015
        Topics: 0
        Replies: 114
        Has thanked: 6184 times
        Been thanked: 460 times

        Ashley, we have a lot in common.  I also have a bride who accepts “Kathy”.  She allows me time time to fully dress in the morning, when I normally read the newspaper.  I am up early, around 5:30 or 6:00, crank up the paper on my laptop and get dressed – usually fully dressed as Kathy – from the wig on down to heeled sandals or princes heels for a business or church look.  I usually emerge as Bob around 10:00 or so and do my regular guy stuff while underdressed, panties and usually a silky cami, sometimes with light “Nu Bra” self adhesive pads – depending on whatever shirt I am wearing for the day.  Only Dr appointments keep Kathy from wearing pretty undies.

        I have found that dressing puts me in a good mood and also seems to give me a different outlook on whatever the day brings.  I have dressed in feminine attire since I was 5 years old and tried on my sisters Sunday School dress.  I am now 74.  I do not go out dressed – it’s forbidden by my otherwise accepting bride.  She also will not let me shave my facial hair – goatee and a stache.  Likely as a way to keep Kathy at home and not out and about.  It seems like a fair compromise, all things considered.  She does not want to see Kathy “walking around the house in a dress”.  Too bad, I’m thinking Kathy might engage in more of the household chores if she could be dressed in leggings, capris or a cute little skort and a fun top.  Hey – it wouldn’t be a dress!!

        Hugs, Kathy

        6 users thanked author for this post.
    • #638862
      Raquel Smith
      Lady
      Registered On: August 26, 2021
      Topics: 19
      Replies: 912
      Has thanked: 3057 times
      Been thanked: 3004 times

      Hey Betty,

      1) Like many who have replied, but not all, I wear panties everyday. My wife knows I like panties (long story), but does not know I wear them everyday. As far as she knows, I only wear them on rare occasions, and still, not in front of her. I have kept my men’s boxer briefs and that is all she ever sees me in.

      My wife has never seen the rest of Raquel’s things and does not know the extent of my desires or the strength of my need to express my feminine side. I keep it bottled up. Just being able to express myself here on CDH, is a tremendous help.

      My wife and I both work from home, so I only get the opportunity to go full femme, maybe once per month on average. Sometimes, but not often, I’ll wear a nylon camisole under my polo shirt during the day., or if she’s going to be out for a few hours running errands, I’ll slip on some skinny jeans and a bra.

      2) Likewise, as others have said, there is no “trigger”. Raquel is part of me, always. It’s just that, I only get to express her outwardly when I am alone for extended periods or when I travel for business a few times per year.

      • #638894
        Betty Rockwell
        Baroness
        Registered On: March 9, 2022
        Topics: 16
        Replies: 97
        Has thanked: 229 times
        Been thanked: 814 times

        Raquel,
        Thank you and all the other ladies for your answers. I asked this question because while working with my own therapist, she said the urge to CD can (but does not always) come from a place of depression or from a lack of fulfillment in the relationship. I have my own issues to work on in regards to believing things that are beyond my control are somehow my fault. It made me question if my husband’s desire to dress sparks from me not being fulfilling as a wife and partner or perhaps he is depressed because I’m not meeting his needs and desires. While I know that his reasons for dressing are his own and have little to nothing to do with me, it got me thinking about what fuels the desire to dress in the first place and how that, in turn, dictates (or doesn’t dictate) the frequency of the dressing itself. I think in time I will better understand that his dressing isn’t “my fault” and also that it isn’t an insult or threat to my own feminity. Ultimately, I want my husband to feel comfortable and supported in however he chooses to dress or present but it takes time to understand and let my guard down. There are so many feelings that arise that you just don’t expect or see coming. I am extremely liberal and firmly believe people should have the freedom to do what makes them feel best and yet when it is my own husband, it isn’t as easy as that and it makes me frustrated with myself for being so difficult. We have a transgender child and a non-binary child and we fully support them. I think it is a bit more complex when it is your sexual partner.

        Thanks,
        Betty

        • #640286
          Nancy Beane
          Baroness
          Registered On: April 7, 2021
          Topics: 1
          Replies: 14
          Has thanked: 6 times
          Been thanked: 39 times

          No, no, no Betty – do not put this on yourself. I’m certainly not a therapist, nor a CD expert, but had to respond when you wrote that your therapist said “the urge to CD can (but does not always) come from a place of depression or from a lack of fulfillment in the relationship” . I have to say it riled me up that she would say that to you. Again, not a professional and not even a CDer myself so I can’t answer for the ladies. However, I would bet that they don’t dress because of a deep seeded lack of relationship fulfillment. It seems that most of the things I’ve read show that the gals don’t really know where the desire to dress came from, including my own husband. And, many of the men who dress have been doing so since pre-puberty or early teens, kind of negating the theory about relationship fulfillment. (Unless we are talking mommy issues which is a whole other story, lol).

          Crossdressing is nobody’s “fault”, certainly not the SO’s.  I think even using that terminology is demeaning to them, as I am sure most cannot help the urge to dress.

          I agree with you that no matter how liberal you are in your views, it is different when it comes to your life partner who has thrown you for a loop and potentially derailed your life. You are going in the right direction with open communication and supporting him as best as you are able at this point in the journey. You have every right to feel frustrated.

          Stay strong and keep taking those baby steps.

          4 users thanked author for this post.
          • #641098
            Raquel Smith
            Lady
            Registered On: August 26, 2021
            Topics: 19
            Replies: 912
            Has thanked: 3057 times
            Been thanked: 3004 times

            Thank you Nancy. It’s always nice to hear from the wife of a crossdresser, but I hope your views on this topic in particular, help Betty.

            And thanks in general, for being part of CDH.

            Much love,

            Raquel

        • #639520
          Raquel Smith
          Lady
          Registered On: August 26, 2021
          Topics: 19
          Replies: 912
          Has thanked: 3057 times
          Been thanked: 3004 times

          Betty, I hope your therapist can help you understand that some things maybe just aren’t your fault.

          Also, I’ve never heard anyone suggest that the need to crossdress comes from a lack of anything normally provided by one’s SO.  This should be particularly obvious, since most of us started crossdressing long before we even had an idea that “men and women were supposed to be together.”  And I put that in quotes, because I no longer believe that to be true.

          I personally feel that if anything is lacking in my relationship with my wife, it’s  due to my own shortcomings.

          While our reasons (or triggers) may share some similarities, we all are different.  However, based on what I’ve read here, something, be it nature or nurture, seems to have rooted itself in our beings long ago.

          Bless you for being able to support your TG and your non-binary children.  I can only imagine how tough it must be to discover your longtime partner may also be somewhere on the spectrum between traditional male and female.

          Thanks for providing at least some of us, with some insight into how our SOs might feel.

          3 users thanked author for this post.
        • #638941
          Kathy Jackson
          Lady
          Registered On: September 3, 2015
          Topics: 0
          Replies: 114
          Has thanked: 6184 times
          Been thanked: 460 times

          My wife and I have both benefitted from counseling with a person who is well versed in issues involved in crossdressing, and gender dysphoria,  both individually and as a couple. I especially appreciate her ability to help my beautiful wife to accept “Kathy” as and adjunct to the person she married over 47 years ago.  Your counselor should be knowledgeable in the issues of crossdressing.

           

          V/R Kathy

          4 users thanked author for this post.
        • #638898
          Anonymous
          Topics: 0
          Replies: 0
          Has thanked: 0 times
          Been thanked: 0 times

          My wife shares many of your feelings about being frustrated with herself for not being as accepting as she thought she was.  You are not alone.

          5 users thanked author for this post.
    • #638856
      Jennifer Lynn
      Lady
      Registered On: August 15, 2020
      Topics: 1
      Replies: 295
      Has thanked: 130 times
      Been thanked: 1643 times

      I dress everyday and have since January 4, 1995. It would be difficult not to dress since I don’t own a single item of male clothing. I could go naked but would be confined to inside my home.

    • #638854
      Leena Muller
      Lady
      Registered On: February 19, 2022
      Topics: 3
      Replies: 36
      Has thanked: 119 times
      Been thanked: 137 times

      I will fully dress when my adult child is out of the house and I have most of the day to be dressed, maybe once a month at this point. My wife has only seen me fully dressed one time. I’m still very self conscious of dressing in front of her. I do wear a nightie to bed most every day and always wear panties (have been for about 10 years).
      Stress and just wanting to feel the loveliness of womenswear make me want to don a skirt and blouse with my flats around the house.

    • #638852
      Darcy Grigsby
      Lady
      Registered On: July 1, 2020
      Topics: 34
      Replies: 211
      Has thanked: 67 times
      Been thanked: 1248 times

      Oh dang I just typed a lengthy response while I wasn’t logged in and when I hit submit all was lost!

      I’ll try to recreate it later when I have more time.

      5 users thanked author for this post.
    • #638849
      Anonymous
      Topics: 0
      Replies: 0
      Has thanked: 0 times
      Been thanked: 0 times

      I have my wife and three kids at home.  I wear my clothes everyday.   Everything I wear, jeans and tops, socks, shoes, boots, underwear, lounge wear, athletic wear, etc. is women’s and I wear them at home and to everywhere else I go.

      That being said, putting on a dress and or skirt and wig with makeup etc is probably theee times a week, more if given the chance… i.e. alone.  I do wear mascara and light color eyeshadow sometimes around the family.

      Even at work I have adopted certain jeans and tops that blend in enough to not be out, but still promote myself the way I wish.

    • #638846
      Kelli Marlowe
      Lady
      Registered On: August 4, 2020
      Topics: 13
      Replies: 168
      Has thanked: 2056 times
      Been thanked: 952 times

      Average is probably 3-4 times per week.Variant as to whether or not my kids are apt to drop by.Also variant as to how much work I have, right now I’m buried, and being a self employed solo act, it’s all on me.
      Stress relief, sexual relief, being able to be someone else for a little while…all these are triggers.

    • #638841
      Sandy Honey
      Lady
      Registered On: February 24, 2021
      Topics: 24
      Replies: 474
      Has thanked: 312 times
      Been thanked: 2464 times

      All my jeans are women’s, all my shorts are women’s, all my underwear are panties, bras and bralettes and most of my shoes and tops are women’s. So I dress in mostly women’s clothing everyday. Full blown Sandy 4 or 5 times a week. I dress because it makes me feel good, sane and happy. Plus I love the colors and styles of women’s clothing so much better than men’s clothes.

    • #638840
      Michelle Bailey
      Lady
      Registered On: July 17, 2020
      Topics: 1
      Replies: 188
      Has thanked: 8680 times
      Been thanked: 886 times

      Hi Betty I know underdress  every day and have been for the last 18 months before that grabbing any chance I got to dress as a female and now that my wife and I are retired now few and far between ,underdressing in bra ,panties ,pantyhose ,sometimes suspender belt and stockings all day long with a few exceptions and now its warming up ,some days no bra which I really do miss, to me the most important item of female underwear .

      The reason  I dress is   ,I just love to be wearing anything female which at present is undies ,given the chance I would love to live as a female  24/7 and get rid of all my male clothing   Michelle  xx

      6 users thanked author for this post.
    • #638826
      Carmen Cruz
      Lady
      Registered On: September 12, 2021
      Topics: 33
      Replies: 341
      Has thanked: 504 times
      Been thanked: 1987 times

      Hi Betty,

      Now that my hair is feeling gorgeous, I wear it down in boy mode every day… so I guess I can say I’m in femme mode 24/7. LOL. JK, since it’s my natural hair.

      Crossdressing, probably 3 or 4 times a week when the mood strikes. Kinda like the thrill of another hobby? That would be most accurate I think.

    • #638824
      Michaela Anthony
      Registered On: December 29, 2021
      Topics: 6
      Replies: 215
      Has thanked: 796 times
      Been thanked: 965 times

      Hi Betty.

      1) I’ve incorporated women’s clothing, either partially or wholly, into how I dress nearly everyday.

      2) I don’t have a specific trigger but do this out of a strong, almost overwhelming desire I’ve gained over a lifetime to feel like and to look and present as a feminine person.

      *** Kayla ***

    • #638822
      Jamie Taal
      Lady
      Registered On: June 14, 2019
      Topics: 8
      Replies: 186
      Has thanked: 1140 times
      Been thanked: 1088 times

      1) I underdress daily because the panty style I eventually found is sooo comfortable and better than any male underwear I’ve tried. Otherwise I dress twice a week when I work from home and my wife is at work.

      2) I dress mainly because I like the styles, material and colors/patterns of clothes I wear and I feel different when I do. It’s not sexual but a general calm that comes over me. It’s a change of pace from the basic drab male clothes that are so basic and boring. I don’t see myself as gender fluid since I do what I do for the clothes expression and not to present as female.

    • #638821
      Michelle McQueen
      Lady
      Registered On: June 14, 2021
      Topics: 28
      Replies: 1512
      Has thanked: 9809 times
      Been thanked: 7403 times

      I dress daily. When I wake up in the mornings I’m usually already wearing leggings and a womens tee so I put on a bra and forms if I didn’t sleep in them. I dress like this around the house but when I go out I remove the forms leaving the bra and panties on and put on jeans or pants.

      I used to dress whenever I got the opportunity but for the past few years since coming out to the wife its been daily. I do it for my mental health… it makes me relaxed and happy being able to express myself this way.

    • #638802
      Kate
      Baroness
      Registered On: March 27, 2020
      Topics: 3
      Replies: 70
      Has thanked: 667 times
      Been thanked: 410 times

      Varies quite a bit, in degree of dressing and frequency. If I had to average for a week, once all out in the evening and twice with just a skirt or dress but not much else in the morning for an hour or so. Maybe someday I’ll figure out the trigger!

    • #638797
      Celeste Starre
      Lady
      Registered On: June 26, 2018
      Topics: 51
      Replies: 1479
      Has thanked: 389 times
      Been thanked: 5443 times

      1.   All the time.

      2.  Mostly because it makes me feel good and more like a woman.

    • #638779
      Stephanie Bass
      Hostess
      Registered On: November 30, 2019
      Topics: 25
      Replies: 3915
      Has thanked: 56087 times
      Been thanked: 13851 times

      Hi betty a great question .. I dress every evening after work in a nighty panties and lipstick for bed .. As wife is 100% on board with Stephanie then almost every weekend also all dolled up and looking cute as the woman in side me comes to light ..Like i said wife is ok with this side of me and she can tell when Stephanie need to be here as some weekends things just dont work out for her to be here ..

      Stephanie Bass

    • #638775
      Trish White
      Baroness
      Registered On: December 2, 2021
      Topics: 3
      Replies: 358
      Has thanked: 1654 times
      Been thanked: 1354 times

      Hi Betty, I dress at least once a week usually 2 to 3 times. Since I’m up early everyday I usually have morning coffee in my satin teddys before anyone else is up. I would probably dress almost every day if I had the opportunity. Nothing really triggers the desire to dress, for me, it is always there. The thought never leaves my mind.

      Love,

      Trish

       

    • #638763
      Lara Tucker
      Lady
      Registered On: September 29, 2021
      Topics: 2
      Replies: 1075
      Has thanked: 23739 times
      Been thanked: 3819 times

      Hi Betty

      I am no out to my wife. These desires just started a few years ago, and I have not been able to bring myself to tell her the guy she married almost 38 years ago would just love to be in a summer dress, and heels sometimes. Or a sweater dress, and heels…

      We are retired so I only dress fully when I have the house to myself for at least 3 hours. So that adds up to once or twice a month maybe.
      Underdressing with panties is a 2-3 times a week thing. I add stockings or pantyhose with them once in a while to feel even more feminine.
      Slipping into a pair of heels in my home gym between exercises to practice walking in them is a nearly daily activity.
      Leggings have been an every evening thing this since the beginning of winter. I usually wear a flannel shirt with them so it’s not too girly looking for my wife. I guess it will be getting too warm for them soon.😢

      I wear some very sort shorts in the summer but only in the house.
      The mood doesn’t always dictate when I dress. I’m almost always dressing when the opportunity comes, because they are not as frequent.

      It’s kind of weird, but that is what works for me at the moment.

      I don’t really know what category I would fit in. I took a gender pole a few months ago here that had me at 70% feminine, but that doesn’t sound right.
      Maybe androgynous? If there were a switch, or a pill I could take to change back and forth between genders that would be perfect for me! Maybe 50/50?

      💕Lara

       

    • #638760
      Tiffany Smith
      Lady
      Registered On: December 2, 2020
      Topics: 0
      Replies: 1
      Has thanked: 0 times
      Been thanked: 8 times

      I fully dress 3- 4 times a week on average. I wear some type of womens clothes almost daily. For me it’s a form of stress relief and something I’ve come to love and need.

    • #638759
      Cassie Jayson
      Duchess
      Registered On: September 29, 2019
      Topics: 58
      Replies: 1021
      Has thanked: 2395 times
      Been thanked: 4673 times

      I dress every day. At least underdressing all day, and most days dressing all day at home. Most nights dressed in bra, forms, panties and a nightie. It is easier for me since I am divorced even though the X lives upstairs.
      Asking what the trigger is? The desire to dress in something at least a little pretty and the feel of the wonderful fabrics. then the satisfaction to see the fem me in the mirror.

      . Cassie

    • #638753
      Stephaniewy
      Lady
      Registered On: September 24, 2021
      Topics: 18
      Replies: 199
      Has thanked: 909 times
      Been thanked: 1090 times

      I generally dress somewhat everyday.  Mornings mostly, wearing leggings or pantyhose, maybe a skirt, usually panties, bra, blouse and a some type of lounge wear robe if not in skirt and some jewelry and lite makeup.   Underdress with panties and bras often out and about.  At night I wear a cami  a with  loose matching pantie to sleep in with a matching robe.  For me the trigger is it just feels good and right for me.

    • #638743
      Liara Wolfe
      Lady
      Registered On: August 14, 2021
      Topics: 3
      Replies: 1607
      Has thanked: 3155 times
      Been thanked: 5432 times

      I dress about two or three times a week. What usually triggers it is an overwhelming desire to be feminine.

      Hugs, Liara

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