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    • #734234

      Hi girls

      Every time I build up more than 4 or so outfits I tend to purge, usually a guilt or fear thing hits me in the dead of night, and yet I ALWAYS regret it, without fail.

      So I guess the question I really wanted to ask was, what is the one piece of clothing or accessory that you have purged and regretted the most?

      I never really got over throwing away a £150 breastplate.



    • #734235

      I have purged twice time since I really got involved in cross dressing. Once was a really major purge, during the emotional months leading up to a divorce. There was a second one some years later, but not nearly as extensive.

      I quickly replaced pretty much everything I lost, including clothes, wigs, breast forms, shareware, etc. But ever since, I have been searching for a light blue faux wrap sweater. Worst was the lost of my custom nail set. The company that made them went out of business, so they have proven to be irreplaceable.

    • #734236

      More time than I care to count.

      I had a really good collection of 90s style aerobic wear.  You see girls wearing the lululemon yoga pants but back in the day it was full on spandex leggings.  I had a few, and when you pair the spandex leggings with spandex aerobic wear, it was a awesome combo.   I loved wearing those items, but in the big purge they all got tossed.

      I tried to find some of those items on etsy/ebay, but the sizings are way too small and the sellers are asking vintage style prices knowing it is a collector’s item.

      So I know they items are out there, it is the asking price that prevents me from ever restoring even one item.



    • #734240
      Liz K
      Managing Ambassador

      I lost count.  At least a dozen times I’m sure.  Fortunately that’s all in the distant past.  I’m trans.  I have a largish wardrobe that continues to grow.

      This topic comes up fairly often.  The standard advice is to store your clothes in a safe, out of sight place until the urge to purge passes.  You’ll be glad you did!


    • #734241

      Like so many others more times than I can count. 3 years ago I had to toss a majority of my stuff due to an unexpected move.I’ve come to really treasure what I have now and hope to never choose or be forced to throw it again.

    • #734243
      Chrissie Smith

      Just the once I guess, over 35 years ago before I got married. Haven’t dressed since (😭) but interestingly the urge never diminishes. Will be getting a whole new outfit in June and spending a week en femme. So excited! You lot will be sick of hearing me bang on about it!

      • #734245
        Chrissie Smith

        I should add that I will almost certainly purge the outfit after my week en femme. I know a lot of you girls have been telling me to find an alternative solution but I don’t think there is one for me.

        Anyway if another opportunity presents itself it won’t be for a number of years, if at all, and then I can have the exquisite pleasure of choosing a whole new outfit. Wouldn’t want to wear the same one again!

    • #734246

      I have purged a few times in the past.  Shoes and tops that didn’t look good on me.  I also tried breast plates a time or two but they always looked fake and were easily torn so I don’t regret scrapping them.  Now that I’m alone and have my own walk in closet, I don’t have any need or desire to purge anything unless it is too small, soiled, or worn out.

    • #734251

      That guilt and shame is a cross dressers worst enemy…besides getting caught or outed.

      I have never purged nor ever will purge.


    • #734253
      Fiona Black
      Baroness - Annual

      I purged about half  a dozen times in the past but thankfully that’s all way behind me now. I currently have a large closet full of dresses, skirts, tops & shoes along with drawers full of lingerie.

    • #734288

      Too many times to count. There’s a few pieces I really miss and wish I still had. My current collection is mostly panties so the urge to purge hasn’t been strong. But it’s always around

    • #734324

      I’ve had two longish hiatus periods, being caught as a teen to grad school. I didn’t have much to purge. Then for marriage and my acquired kids I set aside a good enough collection for it to cause pangs. So, 1.5?

    • #734334

      Shoes, dozens of shoes, gorgeous shoes you just can’t buy anymore.

    • #734336

      Three gorgeous petticoats !

    • #734344
      Trish White

      Hi Vanessa, I purged only once but it wasn’t due to shame rather weight gain. None of the clothes fit any more but I still kept them for almost a year and then, sadly, decided to get rid of them. I’m now about 12 lbs less than when the clothes fit and there are several dresses and skirts I’d love to have back.

      Trish ❤️

      • #734379

        Such a shame, that you can’t get them back Trish. Your legs are quite incredible by the way x

    • #734346

      I have only really purged once, back in the nineties. When my former partner left me (nothing to do with dressing) I started buying lots of clothes and dressing at home regularly. But as this was the 90s no internet so all my clothes came from charity shops (thrift shops for those across the pond!). I had one wig, which my partner had for a fancy dress party. And no breast forms.

      After about 18 months I met my wife, and once I moved in with her all my girlie stuff had to go. She is very “conservative” and doesn’t agree or approve of what we do. So for about 20 years my chances to dress were very few, but once the kids had left home and I retired the urge to dress was overwhelming. And here I am.


      Helen xx

    • #734372

      Pink 4 inch pumps

    • #734382

      I have purged several times, most at the thought of having my SO finding my stash. I did toss a few pair of heels that fit me to a tee. Wished I still had them. The most costly purge came in 2016. I discovered I had stage 4 cancer and again didn’t want anything to be found, just in case! So as they say “out of business everything must go!” And it all went. Photos, media, shoes, bras, panties, make-up, dresses, wigs and more. If it was feminine it was trashed. Didn’t want somebody to discover what they shouldn’t. Just now starting up again.
      BTW, it took time, but I’m cancer free and very much alive now!

      Funny you posted this, I went to bed last night and started thinking of purging once again. No, no, no!

    • #734384

      I’m at the point where I’ve accumulated a lot of femme clothes and need to get rid of some of it because my closet and draws are stuffed.  Add to the overstuffing factor, I’m also down about 10 pounds with at least another 10 to go so some of that stuff is too big.  I wouldn’t call that purging though.

    • #734391

      I never tended to buy nice things so most of it would have been phased out by now or stopped fitting.  It would probably a pair of boots and/or booties that I had that just took up too much room to keep.

    • #734409

      I have purged a few times over the years, the last time a few years ago I met a girl and decided I should get rid of my clothes and give my all to the relationship, but I did keep a stash of clothes  I did get rid of some stuff that I wish I could have back now. The girl didn’t last long. LOL   Now I have been going through my clothes, since I have lost some weight and have been going through some clothes that I had put away that didn’t fit and now they do and bagging up others that are just to big now I am going to give them to some thrift shops so others can enjoy them……….

    • #734413
      Sarah Lee

      I haven’t, or have I. I have a small walk in closet. Male cloths were stuffed in a bag and thrown into the attic to make room for more dresses, tops, pants and skirts. The only things I wear that are men’s are my socks and work shirt. Even my glasses are from the women’s  section.

    • #734439
      Cass Fletcher

      Not so much me purging as someone purging on my (unbeknownst) behalf.  Though in hindsight there wasn’t much there that I haven’t replaced (or have evolved past style-wise).  Elaboration is probably in order. 🙂

      In my early 30s before my first marriage I very briefly lived with a girlfriend (Eastern European background, very strong willed) who decided a suitcase full of women’s clothing (predominantly lingerie from my 20s) that was in the garage needed to be thrown out. No conversation, just a comment in passing, “Oh, ya, I found an old suitcase in your garage full of crappy (slutty?) and threw it out.” She threw out the whole suitcase. That relationship did NOT last long.  Only items that I miss from that purge were some (as Wendy mentioned earlier to which I can totally relate) 90s (and late 80s) style exercise outfits that I still love the style of. I’m sorry, but high-on-the-thigh anything was awesome. Great- now I might have to go online shopping later. 😉

      Second not-self-induced purge was via my current wife very early in our marriage. My female wardrobe was mediocre at the time as I was still slowly rebuilding my wardrobe. And, due to the fact that we’re nearly the same height, much of her wardrobe actually works for me (*see profile or intro). The purge itself was more of a cleaning while I was at work, but the clothing had scared her a bit as her upbringing/conditioning meant girls clothes for me could only mean one thing. I think (I pray) we’re well past that now.

      Now, for the most part, my female clothes are hanging in the closet or in a dresser in our bedroom. The only purge I see forthcoming is more of my male clothes, particularly underwear.

    • #734485

      Too often! Two big ones I recall. One, the night before my marriage when I trashed a decade’s-worth of treasures. (what I wouldn’t give to have some of those things back) and another about ten years ago when I trashed all my clothes, make-up and writings- including a novel I had worked two years on! Never again. It solved nothing for me.

      I’ve heard of people who are “ex-crossdressers” but let’s just say I’m a skeptic.

      • #734504

        Jennifer, I would also be a tad skeptical about “ex-crossdressers” . . . except that I am one. Well, sort of.  I crossdressed for years. The strain of switching back and forth, not to mention the strain on my marriage, became too much. My last purge came in about 2005. From then until July 2022 I never wore as much as a pair of panties. (I did read CD fiction on the Fictionmania web site, now and then but that’s not “dressing.”). Since July 2022, I dress all the time, every day. You see, I finally came to terms with the fact that my CD activities were just another layer of my continual denial of actually being transgender. Well bosh on that! Less than a year later, I am legally “Dana” and legally female. So STILL not “crossdressing”!  🙂

    • #734545

      I would have to guess, 3 or 4 purges. And they were costly, everything went. Now when I get stressed out and the toxic shame creeps back into my life. I imagine myself throwing everything out. This happened last weekend. I am glad that I didn’t do it. I went for a long walk and meditated instead.

    • #734550
      Janet Woodham
      Duchess - Annual

      Hi Vanessa,

      I have never actually purged but I am widowed and live alone and see no point in guilt as it won’t change who I am.

    • #734584

      Kim, I had the same problem. I have purged twice and have regretted it. Some of the lingerie I’ve tossed I’ve tried to find and repurchase. Unfortunately, no one makes it anymore. My favorite bra that fit perfectly was sold by a store that is no longer in business. Oh well……..

    • #734758

      I have lost a lot of items I treasured but a couple of the ones that hurt the most were a pair of heels and a custom corset. The shoes were four inch peep toe stilettos that fit perfectly and were incredibly comfortable. I could wear them for hours on end and they were a nude color that went well with a lot of outfits. I have never found another pair of heels that fit as well and are as comfortable as those were.
      The corset I had custom made for me by Spensers Corsets. They have been out of business for a long time but they made wonderful sturdy tight lace corsets and this one was black satin that laced in the front with side hooks covered by a zipper that made it very easy to get on and off and tighten. Going for that fitting was one of the more scary and exciting things I have ever done. I truly regret purging these items especially since I can’t look back on one purge now and say that I’m glad I did that.

    • #734965

      In 10 years, ZERO…

    • #734973

      Thank the Goddess I found CDH before ever purging, so whenever the guilt creeps back I just put my clothes away until I’ve had time to deal with it. And then, without fail, I start dressing again.

    • #735282
      J J

      Almost never…I did her rid of a few things many years back that I never really liked, but it was not really a purge. I did delete a bunch of photos once that I now wish kept.

      Since my dressing has evolved slowly over time, I have been able to accept this side ofyself as has my wife. She knows I enjoy dressing, and she enjoys making me happy, as I do her, so it works put well.

    • #735422

      Twice, sort of. As I related in an article, several years ago was really the start of my crossdressing,  I began with panties, only. Let’s just say my SO was not amused, so I got rid of most of them.

      The urge returned with a vengeance and I started amassing a collection that included makeup, lingerie, pants, blouses, jewelry, and a wig. Almost all of my collection (shoes, blouses, etc.) was things recovered from items she was donating to charity. Then, around Thanksgiving, last year, she was in a funk, and after a talk where I admitted I enjoyed crossdressing, it turned out that it was because she was missing the “man” she had married.  (She had never seen the full extent to which I was into it).

      I ditched everything, thinking that was all I could do.

      Well you know the rest of the story. After four or five months, I broke down and bought some panties, and well, I’m back in the closet, to say.

      The thing I miss the most, and spent the most money on, was my wig.

    • #735571

      I just purged my drawer of male 🩳 and 🧦 that had expired. I even found a pair of rough white gym socks that I had used in highschool! Oxidized elastic waistbands, handkerchiefs, and other stuff that I will never use again are all gone, to make room for some of my femme wear. I kept lots more (including, um, fun thongs & things), but they are still in great condition.

      No sense hiding it now, I was running out of hiding space anyway, and it will be more efficient getting dressed. Panties, belts & stockings, bras, breasts all at my fingertips.

      Let’s hope that I never have to purge my good, new clothes.

    • #737036

      I have never purged and never intend to. I fully accepted myself as a CDer before I started buying myself “women’s” clothes back in late 2015. Why waste the money if there was the possibility of guilt or shame?

    • #737039

      I have purged a few times and no matter the cost have always regretted it.

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