I am back (sort of)

This topic contains 9 replies, has 10 voices, and was last updated by  Dame Veronica Graunwolf 5 days ago.

  • Creator
  • #132930

    Michelle Elwin
    Registered On: December 6, 2018
    Topics: 1
    Replies: 0

    I joined Crossdresser Heaven once before, but had to leave. Not because of anything or anyone on the site, everyone was wonderful. I just took the chance of coming out to my wife, and it did not go well. In order to save our marriage as well as preserve my relationship with almost everyone I know, I had to pretend it was a phase and purge everything from my life that had anything to do with my femme side.

    And for a short time, it was okay. Then, it wasn’t. As I kept pushing down my thoughts and feelings, things got darker and darker for me (though, I believe most around me were unaware).

    Recently, I decided to again start buying some feminine clothes for myself. And I have found almost immediate peace from those demons. I will have to keep it secret, stay in the closet. But it seems like the only option open to me.

    So, that’s me! Michelle the mess. Thank you for reading, I look forward to getting to know you all better soon!

  • Author
  • #133501
     Dame Veronica Graunwolf 
    Registered On: May 8, 2017
    Topics: 32
    Replies: 1416

    Michelle…welcome home my sister. I am sorry for the pain you have suffered but living your life for others is very hard. Sis…be all you can be and be happy….things and circumstances chane. In the end we must be true to ourselves. Look forward to hearing more from you. If I can be of assistance….my door is always open.


    Dame Veronica

    1 user thanked author for this post.
     Kayla C 
    Registered On: February 8, 2018
    Topics: 4
    Replies: 105

    Welcome Back Michelle

    1 user thanked author for this post.
     rebekka moore 
    Registered On: January 7, 2017
    Topics: 25
    Replies: 286

    Hi Michelle,

    If I may, you might just try “underdressing” or even “hybrid mode” dressing.  Like I do, you can fly just under the radar, and maybe find more peace.  It is difficult, and the sacrifice you made before is evident you are a fine and caring person.

    I’m sorry you however you have to suffer and make the sacrifice because others are not as fine and caring as you are.

    Hang in there, do what you can to take care of yourself, and your feminine needs.  It is worth it, worth your health and well being.

    Love and hugs,


    1 user thanked author for this post.
     Michelle Newman 
    Registered On: June 22, 2017
    Topics: 2
    Replies: 181

    Welcome back Michelle!

    1 user thanked author for this post.
     Stephanie Flowers 
    Registered On: June 26, 2017
    Topics: 7
    Replies: 1416

    Michelle happy to have you back.  Sorry to hear about your wife . I  cherish my wife and would never hurt or harm her in any way in our marriage. I understand your concerns and would do exactly that to keep our relationship intacked. It’s so hard to not feel for being who you feel to be and I would find it very hard not to, so be careful and keep what’s most important to you. Best to you and your journey ahead. We’re here and will help and support you through this time.

    Stephanie 🌹

    1 user thanked author for this post.
     fiona moss 
    Registered On: October 7, 2018
    Topics: 42
    Replies: 210

    hi michelle. its good to have you back with us 🙂 . ive said this a hundred times, cross dressing never leaves you, you can purge, but somewhere along the way, you will start again. just enjoy being you. I hope things improve for you in the future 🙂 .

    fiona xxx

    1 user thanked author for this post.
    Registered On: December 5, 2018
    Topics: 5
    Replies: 30


    Purging seems to be part of the whole experience when we have to keep things secret, i got lucky as my Wife knows, but no other family do. However I still keep trying to put Lacey back in a box and nailing the lid shut … never succesfully

    Please be careful, Secrets with me do tend to come back and bite …….. i hate the sneaking round and double checking myself ….. but be true to yourself as well.




    1 user thanked author for this post.
    Registered On: September 27, 2018
    Topics: 0
    Replies: 163

    Hi Michelle, and we seem to be two of a kind… Want to exchange experiences?



    1 user thanked author for this post.
     Rochelle Mooney 
    Registered On: October 27, 2016
    Topics: 1
    Replies: 119

    Welcome back Michelle.


    1 user thanked author for this post.
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