• This topic has 16 replies, 15 voices, and was last updated 3 years ago by Anonymous.
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    • #405257

      Who Am I ?

      I am what my mind tells me I am.

      I am the woman I am and I believe I am just that! Nothing else.

      What am I?

      I am just another human being who wants to be happy and have my piece of sunshine in this world.

      I am who I am. My eyes speak of happiness since I became me but what lies behind that smile??

      Years of heartache. Years of suffering in silence and of abuse both mental and physical.

      What’s hidden behind a smile? All things lost and gone. A friend gone with just a goodbye. Where does that leave me? a Broken heart, an emptiness, a feeling of being lost in a wilderness. a Feeling of being thrown away like an old used up toy? The feelings of belonging and meaning something lost and the will to go on in life lost for now. What about tomorrow? I have to survive!

      I have to go on and be strong. For what?? Alone in this world and faceless virtual friends that tries their best to motivate and rebuild your broken heart. Faceless in that you can see them on video and you talk to them and you support each other but that’s it.

      Why? I’m asking myself. I have no one to hug, no one that can hug me, no one who can was or take away my tears and tell me it’s going to be okay. No one to hug me and comfort me. All alone in this world to fight my emotions all by myself. No one to take my hand and walk with me. Then it comes back to me. I lost my heart, I lost my soul and I’m broken.

      Then I ask myself again, Who Am I?? What am I and where am I going?

      I am a woman with the wrong parts. I am a woman in Mind and spirit and I am alone, going nowhere in particular but I walk into the future, unshure, still a broken heart and all alone!

      I am a transgender woman, newin this world and I have left the old world and the old life behind. My eyes shine with happines but behind that smile lies the pains of a lost friend, of lost family members and a life lost for the better. It’s not easy, but I have to be strong.

      I Am The Woman I Am! I am Ms. Catherine Anne Vos!

    • #405265

      Well written and said Catherine! A better introduction post I have not read. Most of us pay a price for embracing our feminine persona but you my dear appear to have paid that price and much more! Welcome to an online community that will welcome you with open arms. If I can ever be of service please feel free to contact me through this site and let me know how I can help. A post on my home profile page wall will get the fastest response. – Blessings from Teralynn

    • #405267

      Thanks Teralynn

      I’ll keep that in mind.

      Love and hugs

      Catherine.

    • #405277
      Anonymous

      Catherine

      Tear jerkingly beautifully written.

      While the girls here cannot physically ” hug you”….they can offer so many other things. There aren’t many who come here and are not amazed at the support and love they receive, me included….

      you are among friends here girl, so ask anything whether it’s serious or fun.

      Biggest hugs, grace 💋

    • #405385
      Evelyn
      Lady

      You are an inspiration xxx

    • #405392
      Dani CD
      Lady

      Beautiful!                                                                  Catherine , thank you so much for sharing that with us. No matter how alone you feel there will always be someone here for you.     Big hugs Dani👩🏻‍🔧

    • #405414

      Catherine, it’s a poor substitute for the real thing I know, but I’m ‘virtually’ squeezing you in an embrace as hard as I can.

      You are not alone.

    • #405740
      Stevie Steiner
      Managing Ambassador

      Quite often I’ll read a post that makes me smile, some warm my heart, and every now and then one connects and I begin crying over it.  This was one of those.  That was beautifully written Catherine and you have company in how you are feeling and thinking.   Alone, yes, but never feeling lonely when you’re here I hope.  Yes.  You are who you are, and I am very happy to meet you!!

      Stevie

    • #405775
      Emily
      Lady

      Thank you for sharing these intimate, beautiful thoughts. You are definitely a gifted writer. Proud to have you as part of this community!

      Hugs, Emily

    • #405905

      Welcome Catherine!!! Thanks for sharing a wonderfully written and thought provoking post. You are who you are… … you are Catherine.

      Please accept this virtual hug. Love, Stephanie 💖✨

    • #405941

      Ok that has brought a tear to my also. I’m on the verge of not posting or actively participating on this site as my SO has made me feel horrible about myself and this has lifted my spirits by bringing me to tears.

      Catherine do not try to get to know me as I will disappear soon. Thank you for your post.

    • #405970
      Anonymous

      take my hand and follow me. i will lead you out of this misery. into to the light where everything will be alright. you got friends that you never met. we are all here to help you to forget the pain you feel. dont look back, just look ahead. things will get better in time. 100’s of cds cant be wrong. youll forget all your troubles, it wont take long. and soon youll be singing a happy song. put on that dress and your fancy shoes, where we are going you have nothing to lose.

    • #405983

      Thanks Rachel! Excellent and poetic. -Blessings from Teralynn

    • #406054

      Catherine,

      So many things – beautiful, touching, honest and reflective of so many of us.  Thank you for sharing your beautiful words and feelings.  i am sure it touched many and certainly did me.

      hugs,

      suzette

    • #406078
      Cassie Jayson
      Duchess

      Loved your post Catherine!  It made me smile and made me almost cry.  So sorry to hear of those who are ( or were) close to you are completely unaccepting.  Then so happy for you in accepting yourself as you are.

      Sandy

    • #406091
      Stephanie Flowers
      Ambassador

      Beautifully written Catherine.. missing the company of a true friend is a difficult thing,  not having someone certainly does cause hurt in having that intimate connections.  To do things together,  to hold hands and whisper those personal words.  Virtually we have many but truly not the same. To lose a friend in real life or virtually is an heart breaking experience one unfortunately happens way too much. Embrace the opportunities when someone suddenly does drop in,  you may never know how important this person may become to you… 🌷

    • #410559
      Anonymous

      My gosh. That was beautiful! Thank you, ..there’s little that rouses me in this world other than expressed raw human emotion. Thank you for that share, and bless your beautiful soul. I too have suffered an unduly harsh number of devastating experiences, mental and physical abuse, so I can appreciate the struggles and what it means to overcome. …Left alone when you needed carried, left behind when you wanted to be pushed forward, all the conflicting harsh realisms and realities. All in all though, it has *eventually* made me stronger, resilient, focused and ferociously independent. So, …good for you for releasing your true potential and letting it shine and be your guiding light through unimaginable struggles! x

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