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  • #419659
    Mary Jane
    Participant
    Registered On: September 30, 2020
    Topics: 10
    Replies: 88
    Has thanked: 155 times
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    I was out shopping in drab. Tyre kicking and browsing. And I spotted a CD or TG at a local shop.

    I won’t say she looked that feminine. Tall. Big boned. Big hands. But, she oozed confidence while making purchases. And neither the check out girl, nor the line up of people waiting to be served, seemed pertubed.

    There was no raised eyebrows. No rolling the eyes. Secretive glance. Surreptitious looks.

    I was hoping to say hello when she exited the store, but somehow missed her after glancing at my phone.

    Interesting thing is that she was blending in. Low budget everyday dress. Low key makeup, jewelry and hairdo. It was enough to pass at first glance.

    The other interesting thing was sitting down and really looking at people. (Surreptitiously of course.) I see a lot of us trying to pass with breastforms, hip and bum padding.

    But, I noticed many cis women didn’t have much in the way of boobs, hips, and bum. Of course many did.

    They just went about their shopping. Not concerned about others.

    I was looking for some nail polish. And looked at a few dresses. I didn’t find anything that interested me.

    I was approached a few times if I wanted help. I said, “I’m tyre kicking, and looking for stocking fillers.”

    Ok then, was their answer.

     

     

Viewing 17 reply threads
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    • #434276
      Polly Stewart
      Lady
      Registered On: January 2, 2021
      Topics: 2
      Replies: 168
      Has thanked: 183 times
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      Mary Jasne…

      I’ve been out as my male self shopping in posh stores for women’s clothing and lingerie without so much as a second look. Every one of the sales staff have treated me as they would a female customer (probably better ‘cos I am in my male disguise). I have bought my size items as easily as my own size in the male sections. Every sales assistant has been (as we say) all over me like a rash! If I wanted to look at a full corset… no problem and I’v even tried one of two things on saying I’m the same size as my wife!
      I have evn been back recently in my Polly persona to with exactly the same people… not an adverse reaction at all (I even tried on a corset). My wife has made me practice and practice some more… my walk, my talk, my stance, my jokes etc..

      Have I clocked others? Yes once or twice but have not spoken to them as not to break their cover nor mine.
      I have, however, had to take issue one day (when I was en femme) with a young fool strung out on P who was pissing in front of mothers and their children. I walked up to him and called himn out! For this I received a brain injury and even a caution from the police! TRhe one thing they never picked up on was that I was, in fact, a man!!! Thant is until they stripped me off in hospital before surgery… even then the female nurses were the most solicitous. Ousch…

      xx//Polly

    • #433012
      Samantha Joan
      Chat Crew
      Registered On: November 17, 2019
      Topics: 15
      Replies: 90
      Has thanked: 427 times
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      Hey Mary Jane

      What a great topic.

      You got me thinking about this and my first experience of noticing a fellow crossdresser was in a Starbucks years ago. I was with another person and we noticed her buying a coffee. She was really well turned out in a navy skirt suit and white blouse. We both commented on how confident she was and how well she looked. Inwardly, I was very envious but at the time, could not admit the other me.

      I have also come to realise that if I am buying dresses, skirts etc, in male mode no one will bother me at all, although I am sure I heard a couple once comment “he’s buying tights for himself” which made me smile. I am hopeful that I will be able to step out during the day as Samantha with a friend, even if it is for a coffee and a chat.

      Thank you again for sharing a great topic!

      Hugs

      Samantha x x

       

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    • #432244
      Cheryl Moss
      Lady
      Registered On: January 12, 2021
      Topics: 2
      Replies: 17
      Has thanked: 10 times
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      I love seeing girls out dressed, always makes me a little jealous though… in Leeds (in normal times), once a month there is an event called ‘Leeds First Friday’ girls come from all over to attend and I have seen many a girl out shopping on the day (before the night event). It always makes me feel warm inside and more determined to get Cheryl to where they are.
      one of my earliest memories of seeing cross dressers out and about was when I was about 14… I’d gone to Meadowhall (shopping centre) with my parents… at this time I was very much in the midst of my crossdressing discovery and seeing. 2 girls came up the escalator. They were dressed in trouser suits, holding hands and to me, although it was obvious they were crossdressers, they looked very glamorous and I felt a tinge of excitement at seeing them.

      I do think it is easier for other crossdressers to ‘clock’ other crossdressers, it’s like a ‘Spidey sense’ 😁

    • #432004
      Amanda Burton
      Baroness - Annual
      Registered On: January 15, 2020
      Topics: 17
      Replies: 830
      Has thanked: 6558 times
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      Christ I thought you had hit someone with a clock for minute or two there Mary. But it’s true many people don’t clock you, or even give you the time of day when dressed. We seem to get  pr- set alarmed  that people are going to stare and gossip, when most just tick on by with no time in the world to clock us.

    • #431987
      Aoife
      Lady
      Registered On: October 11, 2018
      Topics: 65
      Replies: 315
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      I haven’t seen anyone I would describe as as a CD in a while, but for some reason the Kroger in my area seems to always attract MTF women when I’m there. Maybe I can’t always spot the difference, but that’s the impression I’ve gotten (and at least one I saw a trans pride flag on her car.) I have not connected with any yet, but it is always inspiring to see someone not “passing.” I may never get acceptance at home, but knowing the rest of the world is safer is good. Just today I was looking at a few stores – all all-gender, and getting confident just “creeping” in the nicer department. Ended up buying some tights, though that was at the drug store. Would have stayed longer if there weren’t a woman with no mask on nearby. Saw a very tempting skirt, but while it looked like it would fit, I just don’t know if a women’s large will work on me.

    • #431974
      Danielle Anaya
      Lady
      Registered On: January 3, 2020
      Topics: 1
      Replies: 13
      Has thanked: 1 time
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      Since I have a habit of often wearing clothes more appropriate for women younger than me with better bodies, I am sure I am noticed more than I even realize. Fortunately, I rarely experience any negative reactions and I think it is because I have been doing this so long I have quite a bit of confidence in my mannerisms, appearance and demeanor. Most people don’t really seem to care even if they do suspect something but, that doesn’t mean I am careless and don’t maintain awareness for hazardous situations. I avoid large crowds, especially where there are young people, male or female, drinking alcohol. It seems young girls pick me up on radar the most and are the most likely to say something derogatory. I am very careful not to visit isolated or dark places by myself and am careful when out and about at night alone just for personal safety. There have been some very bad things that have happened to girls like me.

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    • #423580
      Alice Robinson
      Lady
      Registered On: July 3, 2020
      Topics: 2
      Replies: 12
      Has thanked: 37 times
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      I live in a small town and I used to occasionally see a group of 2 or 3 CDs walking around town, clothes shopping and browsing.  They were not very convincing but they didn’t seem to care.  And nor did anyone else.  I only once saw anyone comment on them, and that was a guy giving a raised eyebrow to his wife.  These ladies just carried on, going about their business.

      I see another out and about who I think has been transitioning over the past couple of years. She is tall and really stands out and again, no one comments or stares.

      But I’m sure they’ve all had unkind things said to them, so as much as I would love to say ‘hi’, I wouldn’t want to go up to them and make them uncomfortable, as in drab, I’m just another guy and the odds are that strange blokes approaching them usually means one of two likely conversations.

      Each time I clock one of us, it gives me so much inspiration to take those next steps and get out there.  Maybe one day I will, and be the inspiration that gets another girl out of the house.  Then another, then another, and then we can take over the world!

      Alice x

    • #423543
      ChloeC
      Duchess
      Registered On: November 5, 2019
      Topics: 8
      Replies: 226
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      I’m beginning to seriously suspect we’ve all seen a lot more cd ot trans in normal settings  than we imagine and they’ve blended in exceedingly well . Where I used to live maybe more than 10 years ago now there was a true roadhouse restaurant (great hamburgers in a basket) we’d go to  ( way out from most medium or large cities) outside a rather ‘conservative’ town  and occasionally this one person would come in for dinner with her mother and other than a few initial glances there would be no additional glances. She was slightly overdressed, not greatly but enough. They always appeared to be having a decent time. At another slightly more upscale restaurant closer to town but near the expressway a family once walked in – mother and father in their forties son in his mid teens and daughter maybe early 20s who was leading the way and seemed to have no fear. And was she dressed and looking…good maybe like a model almost. Other 3 were in major drab and almost hanging back, tho the boy had the biggest s… grin on his face.   They all walked right past me as I was on the aisle but I couldn’t casually see where they sat. I’m not 100% she was trans but the years I’ve spent trying (and dreaming) to look like and be like that…well that old saying – it takes one to know one rumbled through my head for quite a while. Mostly I just wished I would have had the courage as others here have mentioned to just even say hi smile nod my head in positive encouragement maybe even compliment them and try to find out what helped them get the courage up to …be themselves. <big sigh here>

    • #423540
      Tara Jeane
      Lady
      Registered On: December 12, 2020
      Topics: 2
      Replies: 61
      Has thanked: 633 times
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      I clocked someone as well today while I was in drab. I think it’s funny, since I joined this group, I’ve had my radar up more, so to speak. If I’d seen a CD or TG before I joined, I didn’t realize it. Maybe if I hadn’t been on the lookout, I would’ve just thought, well, that sure is a tall girl! She was with a GG at the grocery store and we all came in at the same time.

      I thought she had done a nice job. Pretty, long, blonde wig, white sweater, patterned tights and black heeled booties (I’m infatuated with them, so I always notice shoes now). She was looking pretty good. I think the thing that gave it away for me, was partially her walk (she wasn’t ‘lumbering’ or anything, but she wasn’t heel/toeing it either) and she kept her sunglasses on in the store.

      I was really excited about seeing her and I *really* wanted to say hello, but I just couldn’t make myself do it, especially since she was with someone. I did catch her walking down an aisle with me going one way and her the other and I caught her eyes with a quick glance and smiled (as much as you can tell someone is smiling behind a mask). I hope I conveyed I was being pleasant. I wasn’t trying to be creepy.

      Anyway, if she happens to be a member and reads this, I thought you looked great today!

      *kisses* tara 🙂

    • #419832
      Jessica Ross
      Lady
      Registered On: December 9, 2020
      Topics: 1
      Replies: 118
      Has thanked: 198 times
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      Mary Jane thank you for sharing.

      I think many of us can relate to this.

      When I first started going out I thought I blended in but I kept my head down, did not make eye contact with anyone and if I was in a store I tried to avoid others being close by.

      One day I was in line at a coffee shop and there was a CD or TG in line as well. I noticed she was interacting with others, head up, just going about her day.

      It was a great lesson for me.

       

      Jessica

       

    • #419814
      Jenny Thigh High
      Lady
      Registered On: August 10, 2019
      Topics: 8
      Replies: 245
      Has thanked: 1079 times
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      This brings two incidents to mind.

      First, when I was a teen, I was in the airport once and came across a very obvious CD. She was built very large, almost like a football player, but just with a wig and dress. Still though, I was enthralled and my heart was in my throat as I watched her. I was still confused a bit about dressing and sexuality, so there’s no way I would have approached her. But I still found her very sexy, due to her confidence and ease with which she just moved about the airport. She knew I was staring and even winked/smiled at me LOL.

      Another is a story I have told before here. I was in a hotel lobby and this gorgeous CD walked thru the lobby. Literally one of the most beautiful people I have ever encountered. Obvious CD still, but for different reasons than the airport encounter. She was much smaller, slimmer, very fit with a beautiful body, and hot mini dress and heels. Clear CD though because of the shoulders, hips, chest, and the legs were more muscular than a GG. She wore no padding – simply a (gorgeous) male body in a dress. A body most GGs would probably kill for. I would have said hello or something, but was on the phone. Damn it!

    • #419806
      patty williams
      Lady
      Registered On: January 19, 2019
      Topics: 64
      Replies: 1197
      Has thanked: 1955 times
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      Hi Mary Jane,

      Isn’t it fun to discover one of us girls out in public being who they do want to be.

      I saw my first this summer and do wanted to say hi and introduce myself.

      The broblem is how do you break the ice,what if your wrong and it isn’t a C/D after all.lol

      Well it’s tougher for me than I thought and I missed a good opportunity..

      I I hope the next time I am more prepared.

      Patty

    • #419785
      stephanie plumb
      Baroness - Annual
      Registered On: November 17, 2018
      Topics: 117
      Replies: 1333
      Has thanked: 1953 times
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      Hi Mary Jane

      It’s called “hiding in plain sight.”

      I have noticed many times that most people are totally preoccupied with themselves, and switch off from other people except at a superficial level, as long as the other people around  are not doing anything to attract attention to themselves.   We are all spatially aware of others in our immediate surroundings, but usually avoid interacting with them, unless they initiate contact first, or invade our comfort zone.

      Also its not socially acceptable to stare. And eye contact is avoided unless there is a reason to make it. Just watch people on a crowded underground train.  Nearly everyone goes to great lengths to avoid eye contact, and ignore everyone.

      On my walks I have deliberately studied and assessed peoples behaviour, so I can award my self an ‘acceptability score’.   So far I have scored very highly. Everyone is aware of me at a distance, and I am confident I have ticked all of their “it’s a female” boxes, so they switch off.

      After that they see what they expect to see!  Job done!

      At shorter distance most avoid eye contact and behave as if I’m not there, or are preoccupied with their phone or dog, companion or whatever, and I am ignored, or they glance briefly and look away.  A few might smile, but again the glance and  eye contact is brief.

      They only get a snapshot image of me, not enough to evaluate the finer details.  They see the hair, red lippy, a smile –  visual cues that I am female.   There are some men who notice my rack (at least a C-cup usually), and forget to look at my face. It’s one of my distraction techniques-  to draw the eye downwards, as is wearing a mini-skirt! And it works.

      It does require a high level of confidence though – no furtive behaviour, no taking avoiding action.    No, you must glide along with your best femme walk, head held high with a confident smile -instant facelift – (not a forced grimace.)   Hey look at me I’m just a girl out enjoying themselves! And that is 9 times out of ten what they see.

      If you walk past someone, glance and smile, and look away, I bet, ten seconds later, you do not remember what they looked like, other than a vague impression of their age maybe. Details of hair style and colour, eye colour  etc.  haven’t registered because they are not important. Your brain cannot process the huge amount of visual data it receives and protects itself by filtering out everything that’s not vital to your survival. I think it’s called “sensory gating.”

      This only works of course if you are not wearing a tutu or a clown costume, or attracting attention to yourself!

      So, girls get out there and hide in plain sight!

      Naughty Step(h)  xx

      • #432026
        Amanda Burton
        Baroness - Annual
        Registered On: January 15, 2020
        Topics: 17
        Replies: 830
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        They are probably watching 2poos chasing squirrels Stephanie, and plucking pheasants to notice you sweetie, clowning around in the woods.

        4 users thanked author for this post.
        • #432218
          stephanie plumb
          Baroness - Annual
          Registered On: November 17, 2018
          Topics: 117
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          Has thanked: 1953 times
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          Bu Amanda dear I need those huge oversized size 24  shoes to cope with the mud and puddles. I would look silly if I didn’t “white up” ( is it allowed to say that?) and wear that big frizzy ginger wig and thick red lips wouldn’t I –  it’s called “hiding in plain site” –  nobody expects a woman to look like that do they?

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          • #432232
            Amanda Burton
            Baroness - Annual
            Registered On: January 15, 2020
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            Well you can’t say “black up” with out the BLM wetting their knickers, and calling you racist, so I guess you can’t say “white up” because that’s deemed racist too.

            No sure how many girls have you fashion trend, but it could take off, especially the shoes Stephanie. Now circuses have shut could be more with a second job as dog walkers /entertainers.

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          • #432247
            stephanie plumb
            Baroness - Annual
            Registered On: November 17, 2018
            Topics: 117
            Replies: 1333
            Has thanked: 1953 times
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            I remember the days of Biggles and Chalky White and  “Cabbage crates over the briny, Squiffy!”    These days it would have to be  Beige White and  “EU planes over the channel,  Stuart!”

            Interestingly the first story Group Captain James Bigglesworth appeared in was … “The White Fokker.”      No comment.

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          • #432468
            Amanda Burton
            Baroness - Annual
            Registered On: January 15, 2020
            Topics: 17
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            Has thanked: 6558 times
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            The German’s were Fokkers in the 1st WW.

            Opps I missed out planes.

             

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    • #419764
      Grace Scarlett
      Baroness - Annual
      Registered On: July 26, 2020
      Topics: 47
      Replies: 1344
      Has thanked: 6430 times
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      Hello Mary Jane

      you said….

       

      “But, she oozed confidence while making purchases. And neither the check out girl, nor the line up of people waiting to be served, seemed pertubed.

      There was no raised eyebrows. No rolling the eyes. Secretive glance. Surreptitious looks.”

       

      “Interesting thing is that she was blending in. Low budget everyday dress. Low key makeup, jewelry and hairdo. It was enough to pass at first glance.”

      Your story says it all really….if you are thinking of going out first time, follow her lead, sounds like she has nailed it….

      It really is all about confidence!!!

      the more you go out and are accepted, you will feel better, more confident and then maybe you will feel like becoming a bit more daring in your choice of ” look”….that’s exactly what I have done, and I can confirm, It does work….just believe in yourself and be confident!!!!

      Love, grace ❤️

    • #419713
      Stephanie Bass
      Princess - Annual
      Registered On: November 30, 2019
      Topics: 9
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      Hi Mary Jane nice to meet you  as i cant go out of the house i do look when wife and i as a drab man get to go out. some times see a possible gurl and want to say hello or complement her on clothing makeup ??? when this covid crap is closer to shut down ill watch closer  and try to give some happyness to the gurls life ..💋

      Stephanie Bass

    • #419712
      Rachel Cross
      Duchess
      Registered On: October 13, 2020
      Topics: 22
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      Has thanked: 1153 times
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      blending in is ok, but i dont want to be like everyone else. i like to stand out in the crowd. guess im looking for that complement or acceptance.

      • #432214
        Laura Lovett
        Lady
        Registered On: March 26, 2020
        Topics: 12
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        Has thanked: 2425 times
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        Hi Rachel

        In my experience, both are cool.

        I like to go shopping in a pretty skirt and top ensemble, so that, if I see a dress I want to try on, I don’t have to faff about with zips or any of that nonsense.

        The tops usually have a relatively low neck to make it easier to get off over the wig.

        I also carry a pair of heels in a tote bag to get a better idea of what the dress will look like dolled up.

        Going out for the evening is a different matter – I have an addiction to sequined dresses.

        I’ve tried ballgowns, cocktail dresses, flapper dresses, all sorts, but always seem to end up in a short sequined dress. I feel so happy and sparkly in one, and it’s a great conversation opener – you can guarantee being approached and complimented on the dress, and take the conversation anywhere that feels good.

        One night I wore my most daring costume ever, but it had no sequins: It was Burns night last year, and I wore a white, see-through peasant blouse with a black full cup, lacy bra underneath, over the knee black socks with flamingos on (I like flamingos, and they ought to be Scottish, because they look such proud birds!), cute black Mary Jane shoes with 2″ heels – and the tiniest Tartan kilt. Not one of those silly tight ones, a proper, flare, pleated, heavy wool kilt that was only just long enough to cover my pristine, gleaming, silky white knickers (if there’s a chance they’re going to show, make sure they’re worth seeing – an ex-girlfriend who loved short skirts told me that).

        A gay guy came up to me and admired my outfit enthusiastically just a few moments after I left the hotel, and the evening continued in that vein!

        People love seeing other people who have made an effort to create a striking, yet tasteful image – so yes, sometimes it’s great to stand out.

        But if you’re going to stand out, be outstanding!

        Love Laura

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    • #419705
      Andi Persephone
      Lady
      Registered On: November 25, 2020
      Topics: 2
      Replies: 34
      Has thanked: 80 times
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      I always wonder if the drive to use forms and heavy hand (makeup, nails, etc.) is that we feel like we need to over correct the course of the ship to make up for not being genetically female?

      I wonder what others think about that?

    • #419661
      Bridgette VonSmirff
      Lady
      Registered On: October 18, 2020
      Topics: 13
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      I think that’s what I should hope for basically that nobody notices me. I mean, isn’t that what most of us strive for? Just blending in…

      Bridgette, v

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