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Yup, I did it.
The other day, I went to Soma and bought myself a pair of panties and a bra. I was cool and calm going in, and when the sales woman asked if there was anything in particular I was looking for, I calmly said, no I’m just looking thank you. After a few minutes, I found a pair of black retro panties that were silky and satiny, and a lacy bra that I just loved. Best part: both were on sale, big time! I paid, and when asked if they were a gift I said no. The sales woman didn’t seem to care one way or the other, she just wrapped my items in a little tissue paper cocoon and off I went.
I didn’t get to try them on in the store – I was pressed for time, and honestly, I probably wouldn’t have tried them on in any case, for various reasons. So, later that afternoon, when I finally go a chance to pull that little cocoon out and try my new clothes on, I was sad to find the bra was too small. I am not exactly new at this, but it has been a few years since I last bought anything, so perhaps going with a remembered size was a mistake. Oh well, at least the panties fit!
Today, I decided that I needed to have the proper fit for my bra. I did a quick measure at home and girls, was I ever off! So, wearing my satiny panties, I went back to a different Soma today (again, there are reasons for not wanting to go back to the one I originally went to – nothing bad I assure you!) to exchange the bra for one in a better size.
I wasn’t nearly as calm and cool this time. I walked in and the sales woman asked what she could do for me, and I said I have an exchange – but it was a sale item (I was prepared to just let it go and be out a few bucks if that was an issue).
She said, “No worry! What was the problem?”
“Wrong size,” I said, quietly.
“Well, what size is she?”
…I felt like a spotlight was on me. I managed to very quietly mumble, “Its for me, I’m sorry I don’t know what the right size should be.” I don’t know why I felt so exposed, so afraid – I’m 6 ft tall with a manly-man beard, and I’m usually the most confident person in the room.
She must have sensed or seen how panicky I was, how vulnerable I suddenly felt, because she reached out her hand and put it on mine and said quiet enough so that only I could hear, “My dear, would you like a fitting?”
I almost started to cry. I asked if that would be ok, and she smiled the biggest joyful smile, and while still holding my hand brought me back to a fitting room. She asked what I wanted out of my bra: shape? lift? did I want to look like I had larger breasts? something pretty, or functional?
Once in the back, I felt less exposed and more confident, so I answered, “something I can wear under a shirt, without a lot of exposure, but with a little lift, and yes, please may I have one that’s pretty?” I also mentioned the lacy one I had picked out was a bit… uncomfortable – the lace felt rough. She laughed and said with a flirty wink,”Well, of course hon! That one is only meant to be worn for a short, sexy time – if you know what I mean. I can find something sexy for you that’s comfortable if that’s what you’re interested in!”
Then she did a few quick measurements, and told me to wait, she’s be right back. And five minutes later, she was, with an armload of bras. She explained why she chose each one for me, and how they should fit and feel. She asked if I needed any help with putting them on. She said if I did want help, just crack the door a little – she’d be right there.
Ladies, I was in heaven. I got to try on about 12 different bras. Three or so fit very well, but I am on a budget, so I only went with one – it was an even exchange for the wrong sized one. It isn’t black, so it doesn’t match my panties (I’ll fix that soon, I’ll buy some matching ones!) but I know that most women don’t generally care if their bra and panties match, as long as they’re comfortable. The one I picked was indeed sexy and lacy, in pink and white. It fits perfectly, and I don’t want to have to take it off. When I asked, the sales lady said it would be perfectly ok to keep it on, and wear out it of the store. When I left, she put a little heart around her name on the sales slip, and assured me she would be more than happy to help me whenever I needed it. I asked for a hug; without hesitating, she wrapped herself around me, and ran a finger up and down the straps of my new bra, saying into my ear, “I’ll be here for you if you need it, just call.”
Again, I was nearly crying – I felt like this woman, who doesn’t know me, doesn’t have to care about me (she could have treated me like any other customer) went out of her way to make me feel like I was special, like I had value beyond just a sale – she made me feel like I belonged. I walked out of the store feeling light as a feather. I’ve been underdressed now for a few hours at work and soon I’ll have to revert back to drab (gotta give the marks from the bra time to fade before I get home.) But now I know I have a safe place, and next time I will go in with confidence and a smile!
Gillian,
A standing ovation for you!!! I’m very happy to read how things went!
Gaby 💜
That must’ve been a wonderful experience- well done you for being so brave, and what fantastic luck to get such an understanding lady to help you.
That is a fantastic story – and so well told I felt like I lived it with you!
I’ll join the standing ovation.
Love Laura
Marvelous ! I’m proud of you. I think most of the people we run into are understanding and accepting .
Lisa
Gillian, I love your story. I think I would have cried. Which is something most people never see from me. Thank you for sharing.
Rochelle –
I am a crier. I love rom-coms – and I almost never make it through without crying. My daughters love to give me shit about it (teenagers. No respect lol.) This winter we watched a ton of those Hallmark Christmas movies – they had a fine time gently poking fun at me during every one of them.
Lovely story, loved reading! Being a Brit, I’m not sure what Soma is: I assume a chain store? My latest story (of many!) involves a UK supermarket. While doing some routine shopping I spied a rather fetching dress: longer length, high neck and long sleeved, multi layered. Just my thing! At the checkout, the lady remarked that my wife would look lovely. On impulse I replied that it was actually for me… then blushed when I realised what I’d just said. She smiled then said ‘I hope you have some nice undies to go with it’ some understanding folk out there!
Jade –
Soma is indeed a chain store – a sort of upscale Victoria’s Secret – better quality, less tarty, targeted towards older women, I think. All I know is years ago, I tried a Vickie’s bra and it was… not comfortable, even in the right size. Definitely designed for a smaller frame, even in a larger band. I am frequently in retail environments for my current job, so I see a variety of stores. This is a dangerous time of year – everyone is having big sales! Both Victoria’s and Soma taunt and beckon as I walk through the malls. SALE SALE SALE!
I enjoyed reading this thank you for sharing. Absolutely a wonderful experience ,you must of been floating on clouds . I would certainly look her up again and give her a big tip next time your there.
Stephanie 🌹
[quote quote=142355]Stephanie –
Oh I am going to be sure she’s there next time I want something. Is it common to tip at a lingerie store? I certainly will if it is – and likely if it isn’t! Today the thought never even crossed my mind, I was so wrapped up in the emotional roller coaster.
[/quote]That lady/SA is a keeper. She sounded very genuine.
I suspect that if CDs find a place, or even more important, a Salesperson, that embraces them then they have a customer for life pretty much – and they could be a very lucrative customer as well.[quote quote=142354]Rochelle –
I am a crier. I love rom-coms – and I almost never make it through without crying. My daughters love to give me shit about it (teenagers. No respect lol.) This winter we watched a ton of those Hallmark Christmas movies – they had a fine time gently poking fun at me during every one of them.
[/quote]Same here. Wife and daughter don’t give me shit, but they know I’m a sook.
(I spent most of my life thinking that there was something wrong with me – well maybe there is. I cry at chick flicks, and emotional scenes, I’m smaller than average, not into sports, don’t mind hanging out with the women at gatherings – it took me a very long while to accept that it was just how I am – and that is OK.
On the other hand, that is just part of me. I can spend a day on the chainsaw, or under the car, or in the yard, or at the drag races, and be quite comfortable with my male friends and family – and that is me and OK as well.).Well this has inspired me today to JUST DO IT and it was sensational.
After reading this I just went out and and found an Op Shop to buy some cloths but the difference this time I spent along time selecting them then trying them on in the dressing room, and it wasn’t just once as I went back out and selected more clothing to try one as few of my first section didn’t fit. In previous visits I would be more worried about who was looking at me and thinking to myself a they they talking about me and just have a quick look and walk out.
What a great experience it was, even chatting to the ladies next to me as I was going through the clothing and to my surprise the didn’t cut my hand off for looking through the ladies clothing 🙂
So on the way home I put on my new clothes that I would not normally wear in the car during the day, but what the hell, and no one seamed to notice that I was wearing women’s clothing. (my only concern is I have a highly visible branded vehicle)
But thank you Gillian as this post has taken allot of my anxiety away.
Gillian hey girl my name is Jasmine Jeffries I recently got a torrid credit card and I’ve been buying clothes like crazy from the store close to me and the manager there is so nice when she was talking about clothes for my wife I don’t know why I just told her between me and you then off for my wife there for me and she was so cool she smiled at me and said you only live once dearso now I’ve picked up close about four or five times I even got a credit card from there and she calls me Jasmine under her breath and one other customers that are he was I think your wife to show you in like thiss
Gillian, way to go and what a wonderful outcome! Thank you for sharing this with us all. It made me tear up with joy for you. I am pretty sure that the staff at the thrift store know even though I have not bought anything but do go in and browse, and all they do is say hi and let me know if you need any help. To hear that you had such an amazing experience shows that for many who we are is not a problem. Congratulations and I am sure that you will have confidence and a smile when you shop there again!
Hugs,
Michelle
I like Soma Boutiques as well, friendly and professional no snarky comments and not tryin to sell you the store or put you in something that doesn’t fit.
Keep building up confidence, wash and repeat it gets easier to try on things just be confident and genuine.
Soma will fit anyone keep in mind bras are for breasts not just women and it doesnt matter if forms are part of it or not. Many women wear forms because of one reason or another.
The one I go to is in a Big mall. I ask if I can be fitted and in any other place such as Lane Bryant ask if I can try these items on. Just be cool like any other time, remember they sell clothing and dont know or will not remember you the next day. Hundreds of people come in and go out.
Soma sales got me twice and so did onehanesplace. If 40B is out 38C will work. I bought a Soma max support underwire sports bra and a second balconette some lace and vanishing edge undies. Then from OHP I got more balconettes and supportive bras and 2 body briefers.
Thanks for sharing your wonderful experience. And congrats to the sales lady for making you feel so comfortable. I would seek her out next time!
That is such a wonderful experience
Robin
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