- May 15, 2022 at 5:37 pm #645494AnonymousInactiveTopics: 0Replies: 0Has thanked: 0 timesBeen thanked: 0 times
Hello would anyone like to join me in this forum?
- May 19, 2022 at 8:21 pm #646391Jessica Ann FlowersDuchessRegistered On: July 18, 2021Topics: 1Replies: 14Has thanked: 3 timesBeen thanked: 74 times
Let me start out by saying I love your last name. It is very smart, original and meaningful. I’m guessing from what you have shared that your last name is meant to represent both your feminine side and you’re religious/spiritual side. I think that taht is so meaningful and cool.
From what you have shared you sound a lot like me. I’m guessing from what you have shared that you are a woman who is somewhere in her forties to her sixties. I myself am in my early fifties and I know what it is like to have a Christan up bringing and to struggle with the conflicting thoughts, feelings and desires that come from that and the feminine side of myself. I too have struggled with the feeling, the belief that my pleasure from dressing in feminine clothes makes me a despicable sinner.
For me, there is a concept, I guess you could say, on the subject of morality that has been helpful to me when it comes to finding inner peace with my feminine side and the desires that it stirs up inside of me. That concept is simply this: ” In causing harm to none, do what thou will.” Looking at my feminine desires and preferences in the light of that concept has helped me to find some level of peace with who and what I am and what I like to do and wear.
As to your asking for input on a way to progress in coming out to the world may I offer this suggestion. You could try making small, simple changes in your day-to-day wardrobe. That is what I have been doing. I shop a lot in local thrift stores and doing so has given me the opportunity to inexpensively buy and try styles of everyday woman’s apparel that fulfills my desire to express my feminine side in my day-to-day public, but without drawing too much unwanted attention to myself. To that end I have bought tee-shirts, jeans and even shoes that are feminine in design, are meant to be worn by women, but don’t scream that “this person is a crossdresser’ when I wear them out in public. To a discerning eye it can be readily noticed that I’m wearing a tee-shirt, jeans and shoes that are actually feminine in nature and design, but to the casual observer they are just a tee-shirt, jeans and shoes. Wearing such gives me the confidence that I need to express my feminine side in public without blatantly screaming to the world that “I am transgendered”.
To be completely forthright with you wearing such clothing in public does make me feel a little self-conscious. I do worry that people notice and are judging me for what I am wearing. But such feelings are manageable. And in a way such feelings are a part of the fun. Those feelings and the simple pleasure of being out and seen in something pretty and feminine leaves me feeling a small. yet profound sense of pride and self satisfaction that I am expressing the full, real, true me. It feels good to let Jessica Ann come out and play.
In full disclosure. I haven’t come to the place where I feel comfortable doing this in all places and situations. But it is a positive step for me in my journey to come to peace with who I fully am and my to have the freedom to express myself in the ways that I have always secretly desired since I was in my early teens.
I could go on and share my thoughts and feelings about the bisexual aspects of what you have shared. But I think that I will leave that for another time. For now I will just say that for many, many of us who love to express our femininity with pretty, feminine clothing there is also a leaning, a curiosity, to experiencing sexual intimacy with a man. I glad that this something that you have had a chance to experience for yourself. I hope that it was a satisfying and fulfilling experience for you. I would love to someday hear the story behind such experience in your life.
I will end this by saying, thank you for starting this forum and that I wish you the best in your journey in coming out in the way that you desire.
Sincerely, Jessica Ann
- May 17, 2022 at 12:40 pm #645900
- May 17, 2022 at 5:07 am #645807Lara TuckerLadyRegistered On: September 29, 2021Topics: 2Replies: 862Has thanked: 19064 timesBeen thanked: 3066 times
- May 16, 2022 at 10:28 pm #645779LeonaraAmbassadorRegistered On: October 13, 2015Topics: 6Replies: 707Has thanked: 2836 timesBeen thanked: 2016 times
- May 16, 2022 at 10:18 pm #645776Paulette ParfoisDuchessRegistered On: November 17, 2021Topics: 2Replies: 405Has thanked: 1341 timesBeen thanked: 1415 times
Welcome Marcy! This is a great place to share and learn. I know it has been for me. I look forward to hearing more about your adventures as you venture ‘out and about’. As I have discovered going out en femme is a fantastic and exhilarating experience. And it certainly doesn’t hurt when some “dirty old man” gives you a wink and a smile! Take care. Hugs, Paulette
- May 16, 2022 at 9:50 pm #645772
- May 16, 2022 at 2:35 pm #645701
- May 16, 2022 at 12:51 pm #645683AnonymousTopics: 0Replies: 0Has thanked: 0 timesBeen thanked: 0 times
Thanks so much for writing and welcoming me here.
I have been closeted until very recently but have been secretly dressing since I was 12 years old.
I became more active with my dressing over the past 4 years. I love to dress and can love the feel of being feminine, but among my current challenges is how to find safe place to express my CD fem side, and secondly I have attracted some men to me on dating apps and I was previoously self professed heterosexual but over the last 3 years I have actual been together with some men.
This makes me feels conflicted because my strict religious background makes all of this seem forbidden and even evil.
My Question to you all would be :
Can you suggest a proper normal progression that could help keep me grounded while I figure if I can safely come out to my friends and family when most of them, I am afraid have their own values which may be offended if I tell them Dad, is now a bisexual crossdresser!
Is there a safe gradual way to come out rather than to give into this percieved drive to reveal all in a hurry while not thinking all of this through yet.
Thanks for letting me share!
With All of My Love,
- May 20, 2022 at 11:25 am #646532Holly MorrisLadyRegistered On: April 15, 2022Topics: 24Replies: 48Has thanked: 678 timesBeen thanked: 574 times
Hi Marcy and welcome to CDH!
You’ll find a lot of love and support here, it’s a wonderful, welcoming community! I know, I’ve only been a member about one month and have already met so many lovely ladies.
Your question about how to come out is a very personal one, and one that all of us here on CDH have dealt with in one way or another over the years. You’ll hear lots of great advice on what will work best and suggestions on how to actually come out, but at the end of the day, each of our situations is unique, so there’s not one “right way” to come out or one “right process” to follow. It would be nice if there was, but there isn’t. Whether you decide to come out only to a spouse, your family, come out to a good friend you think will support you, speak with a therapist, etc. really depends on what works best for you and what makes you feel the most comfortable.
You also mentioned the homosexual and religious aspects that you’re concerned about. I can tell you that while that is a huge concern, at least to those of us who have grown up in the church, there are many priests who you can speak with openly and honestly who will offer wise counsel and won’t condemn you. Remember, let he who is without sin cast the first stone. Not too many of us fall into that category, including priests and clergy members, so you might be surprised if you speak to one. I know that I was.
You also mentioned being a dad, so that means you have children, which is a valid concern. Depending on how old they are, coming out to them could be confusing, so I would advise caution there as well.
Anyway, the one piece of advice that I will give you is to get as much counsel as possible, not rush and to take things slowly. Regardless of your age, you have plenty of time to make that decision.
I wish you all the best, as I’m sure everyone here on CDH does as well.
- May 17, 2022 at 4:52 am #645804Raquel SmithLadyRegistered On: August 26, 2021Topics: 16Replies: 810Has thanked: 2883 timesBeen thanked: 2681 times
You have multiple issues here that probably won’t get resolved in a forum thread. Many here who have come out as crossdressers, or transgender, or bisexual, have benefited from seeking the help of a therapist. I strongly recommend you speak with someone trained to assist you on your difficult, complicated journey. I wish you luck.
- May 16, 2022 at 12:39 pm #645681
- May 16, 2022 at 10:15 am #645648Lauren MugnaiaRegistered On: November 1, 2021Topics: 6Replies: 175Has thanked: 1687 timesBeen thanked: 892 times
Hi Marcy, welcome!!
I too, love to feel oh so feminine, and I get to do it every day!! I have transitioned and now live and work fulltime as a trans woman, so I get to experience being, dressing and feeling as feminine as I please each and every moment of each and every day, it is truly wonderful!! There are definite benefits to going fulltime, I love long nails and have now grown mine to the longest they have ever been and get them gelled every 4 weeks, they look so amazing! And I was able to have my brows laminated so they truly look feminine and I never have to worry anymore about them “clocking me”. I can try different makeup looks each day, play around with hair styles, different lip color every day, the list just goes on! So yes, I love to feel oh so feminine!
- May 16, 2022 at 8:42 am #645631Stephanie FlowersAmbassadorRegistered On: June 26, 2017Topics: 35Replies: 6208Has thanked: 11971 timesBeen thanked: 12700 times
Marcy Welcome, get comfortable and start enjoying all that were about. Meet with many of our ladies here and talk about anything you like. Much to see and do . Nice to meet and look forward to seeing you around here soon.
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- May 15, 2022 at 7:23 pm #645514Christina IsmeLadyRegistered On: April 8, 2022Topics: 0Replies: 207Has thanked: 203 timesBeen thanked: 566 times
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