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  • #652045
    Sable Allison
    Participant
    Registered On: January 31, 2020
    Topics: 5
    Replies: 23
    Has thanked: 83 times
    Been thanked: 118 times

    I just ordered a ton of sexy stuff online to my parent’s P.O. box. I’m 31 and I’m living at home for the time being while I figure out my next step. Once upon a time I had my own place and was ordering stuff discreetly through a friend, but life circumstances have changed and my desire to crossdress is overwhelming my desire to keep it a secret. My plan was to order a few things online and pray that everything came in generic packaging, come up with an alibi, and get away with it no questions asked. I fear this is not going to be so easy given the heavyhanded purchases I have just made. I have heels, wigs, boobs, corsets, dresses, leggings, and jewelry coming. I am so excited to experiment with it all, but it may mean coming out to my parents and I’m scared. Do I just wait and see what happens or do I try to head this off at the pass? My confidence seems to come in waves. XOXO Sable

Viewing 8 reply threads
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    • #654541
      Saleena Andrews
      Lady
      Registered On: May 14, 2022
      Topics: 4
      Replies: 24
      Has thanked: 47 times
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      If you order from Amazon, see if you can pick it up at a local hub. I talked it out with my wife and she does know about my cross dressing, she prefers not to have the packages shipped directly to our house. Our son is very curious 10 year old!

      You could try the pick up route…

    • #652968
      Kim Dahlenbergen
      Lady
      Registered On: November 18, 2019
      Topics: 1
      Replies: 122
      Has thanked: 78 times
      Been thanked: 373 times

      That’s not the way to come out to your parents. If at all possible, be sure you are the one to receive the shipments. And if you intend to come out eventually to your parents, give it a lot of thought and preferably do so after long and serious conversations with a competent therapist.

      3 users thanked author for this post.
      • #652991
        Aurora Borealis
        Duchess
        Registered On: October 25, 2021
        Topics: 1
        Replies: 142
        Has thanked: 460 times
        Been thanked: 415 times

        Fgreetings, its Aurora B. again. About coming out. One thig to think about is by coming about tour CD doings is be careful. I made the mistake of telling a friend after hw became aware of my fem dressing He as as also a pastor Im very close to.I reallty didnt that he be angry with me, thinking he would at least understand, but I was way wrong. He and I almost lost our friendship and I caught much stormy flack based upon his spiritual background. So I learned not to expect tolerance from fellow,Christians. Well, its ok now he hasnt mentioned it and I wont discuss it as ith him, knowing he hates anything associated with CD or transgender leanings.

        Happily now,were fine with each other were back to DADT.

        Another friend who is a mother of two great kids and was at one time a,co-worker is ok with it.

        Just knowcthe person you want to tell secrects to. Except for maybe a therapist or other nonjudgemental person.Thats why I trust those I knowvon CDH.

        By the way I dont have a wife or other type of SO.

        Love ya, Aurora B.

        1 user thanked author for this post.
    • #652202
      Aurora Borealis
      Duchess
      Registered On: October 25, 2021
      Topics: 1
      Replies: 142
      Has thanked: 460 times
      Been thanked: 415 times

      Hello there! Im Aurora and I buy most if not all of my girly things from online, nobody cares if its a male buying bras, tops, boobs or anything feminine as long as they get their money. Most retailers will ship discretely.I use my own address and debit card exclusively, no shame LOL. There are so many sellers of CD and womens,stuff on the net as Im sure you already know.

      Welcomehere and keep we gurls posted on your progress!

      Hugs, Aurora B.

      1 user thanked author for this post.
    • #652134
      Amy Catrelle
      Lady
      Registered On: January 2, 2022
      Topics: 10
      Replies: 162
      Has thanked: 460 times
      Been thanked: 762 times

      Hi Sable, this is such a terrible dilemma for most of us yet unique to each of us depending on our personal circumstances, so I wouldn’t dare to tell you what to do. Having read your later reply about coming out to some friends (good and bad results) I can see your concerns. We all have them. Reading between the lines it appears you want to be out (me too, if I’m honest) but it is scary. I don’t know why something as wonderful and harmless as crossdressing should be this problematic but hey, maybe that’s why it’s so much fun.

      I hope, whatever happens, that it works out well for you.

      Much love, Amy x

      2 users thanked author for this post.
      • #652139
        Sable Allison
        Duchess
        Registered On: January 31, 2020
        Topics: 5
        Replies: 23
        Has thanked: 83 times
        Been thanked: 118 times

        You’re exactly right, I want to be out. I stil mostly want to dress in private (for now) but I do want the freedom of having nothing to hide. Crossdressing IS such a beautiful and wonderful thing. So creative, expressive, and fun. The outing process could be kind of rocky though, and I want to avoid unnecessary pain. To go to the lengths I want to go, however, some big risks are required. And I’m not getting any younger.

        💗

        2 users thanked author for this post.
        • #652154
          Amy Catrelle
          Lady
          Registered On: January 2, 2022
          Topics: 10
          Replies: 162
          Has thanked: 460 times
          Been thanked: 762 times

          This is the conundrum and it is such a profound one for us. There are positive and negatives either way; the thrills and fears of secrecy, and the freedom and fears of being ‘out’. Personally, I don’t feel the need to walk to the shops wearing my favourite frock but I would love to have the choice. I really admire those with the guts to do so.

          PS. Speaking as a 55 year old, you’re still a young whippersnapper. Oh, to have started at your age!

          Amy x

    • #652066
      Barb Wire
      Duchess - Annual
      Registered On: September 16, 2021
      Topics: 17
      Replies: 690
      Has thanked: 3969 times
      Been thanked: 3331 times

      LOL!! Nothing like cannonballing into “The Life” with all that shopping! Christmas in June is awesome!

      Okay, you may have some issues if your parents are on the “conservative” side-of-life. If that’s the case, my thoughts and prayers are with you…

      At my age now, I just don’t give a rat’s-ass who finds out. In fact, my wife is supportive as are some of my neighbours, except the red-neck down the hall. He’s a bit hard to figure out, perhaps he’s a little sexually frustrated… Sometimes I wonder if… never mind…

      All kidding aside, I see you’re from out west. I think your part of the world is a lot more accepting than anywhere else on the planet. I’m in a conservative location in Ontario yet no one has said anything negative to me.

      Obviously, your cautious approach is the best one, especially at your young age. Keep the shields UP just in case.

      Oh! All the feminine shopping I’ve done all comes with discrete packaging. In some cases, you may have to request it. Where I live, I often don’t get it delivered directly to me, so I have to go to the Shopper’s Post Office. And more than once I’ve been given my packages with a polite, “Here you go, Ma’am.” Must be my long hair and mascara.

      Good luck to you, Sable!

      Hugs, Barb

      3 users thanked author for this post.
      • #652102
        Sable Allison
        Duchess
        Registered On: January 31, 2020
        Topics: 5
        Replies: 23
        Has thanked: 83 times
        Been thanked: 118 times

        My parents will be accepting, which is why I feel ok taking the risk, but it still may be difficult to open up about this side of myself. It’s more to do with my relationship with myself and my own identity than anything. A long time ago I came out to a couple friends and word eventually leaked to some people I had not planned on telling, including my brother, but when confronted about it I prettty much just shut down and nothing has been said of it since. To my face anyway. I’m sure more people are aware of my feminine side than I care to know. People talk, but few have brought it up to me. Anyway,I’m at an age where I need to dive into this even at the cost of a little awkwardness and shame. I don’t desire for everyone in my life to know, but I do desire the freedom and courage to be myself. Wish me luck, I guess,and hopefully my experience can be helpful to someone else down the road. 💖

        4 users thanked author for this post.
        • #652120
          Brielle Ross
          Duchess
          Registered On: August 14, 2021
          Topics: 5
          Replies: 446
          Has thanked: 2223 times
          Been thanked: 1905 times

          Hi Sable, it sounds like you are most of the way there! If your parents are accepting but they are helping with your expenses then letting them know about larger-than-normal purchases is just good manners. It’s up to you if you want to tell them everything. Since you are well into adulthood, your private life is your own affair as long as you respect “house rules” of course.

          I say it’s time to sit down with them and tell them how you feel. If you plan more than just some dressing (transitioning, going “full-time”, etc.), it’s better IMO to tell them everything you are struggling with rather than saying, “it’s just part-time at home”, the “I want to go out”, to “I want to get HRT”, and so on. They can deal with it if they know what’s ahead, but if the bar moves multiple times, loved ones begin to think – “what else aren’t they telling me about?”

          Your avitar picture is stunning! I don’t know if you do want to pursue more, but you are wise to not keep waiting. I just published an article that it took me about 60 years to admit to myself that I am trans and to start aligning my life to live it. But that means EVERYONE I know will be surprised/shocked and it is so much harder when this much time has gone by.

          I envy you for admitting what many of us don’t until it feels almost “too late”.

          Hugs, and good luck!

          Brie

          BTW, if they are available in your area, Amazon Hub lockers are a great way to have privacy for things you order there. Shein is the best low-cost clothing Website I’ve found, also!!

          3 users thanked author for this post.
          • #653947
            Clarissa Cross
            Lady
            Registered On: July 17, 2021
            Topics: 6
            Replies: 122
            Has thanked: 877 times
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            Hi Brielle

            I’ve often looked at Shein and agree that their things are very cheap, I’ve never bought anything from them, have you bought  from them and how was the quality and their sizing.

            1 user thanked author for this post.
          • #654005
            Brielle Ross
            Duchess
            Registered On: August 14, 2021
            Topics: 5
            Replies: 446
            Has thanked: 2223 times
            Been thanked: 1905 times

            I’ve pretty much switched from buying any clothing on Amazon to Shein. Shein is very good with sizing and the quality is better (probably not as good as local department stores, but better that I expected). I’ve been more than pleased with everything I’ve ordered from them.

            The only slight negative is the extra week or so for delivery compared to Prime, but the last few things I bought from Amazon didn’t fit, were poor quality, etc. The shipping is very consistent and prompt for coming from China. They have petite, more generous sizes, and even tall for slacks.

            The jewelry I’ve gotten from Shein is very much better for the money than anything I’ve gotten on Amazon. I don’t recall if I got any shoes from them yet.

            Hope this helps. I’m fortunate that I’m not much bigger than most women, so it may be easier finding things that fit.

            Hugs,

            Brie

            2 users thanked author for this post.
          • #654081
            Aurora Borealis
            Duchess
            Registered On: October 25, 2021
            Topics: 1
            Replies: 142
            Has thanked: 460 times
            Been thanked: 415 times

            Hi Brielle,

            Aurora,here,en femme tonight as usual.Ive noticed that it doesnt take me as long to girl. up as it used to, maybe Im catching on!

            Will check out Shein myself, though Ive had good fortune with Amazon.com. Always on the lookout for good deals.I loyve myself this way the clothes, the,boobs, the whole smear.

            Still not ready to make make a big splash in public though! Hope,that things are going well transituon wise.

            Love, Aurora B.

            1 user thanked author for this post.
          • #654540
            Aurora Borealis
            Duchess
            Registered On: October 25, 2021
            Topics: 1
            Replies: 142
            Has thanked: 460 times
            Been thanked: 415 times

            For Brielle,

            Hi tried to look up Shien, coulsnt understand the pricing on their stuff, some other kind of currency. How do you buy things from them? Love, Aurora B.

    • #652061
      Jacinta Jones
      Duchess
      Registered On: June 6, 2022
      Topics: 3
      Replies: 34
      Has thanked: 66 times
      Been thanked: 182 times

      Hi Sable

      In my opinion, I would just wait and see.

      I ran into a similar situation as I am also currently at home while I find another place. I recently brought a large number of items from various stores.

      Luckily for me, I have been purchasing a range of things lately online so my family thinks it is just me adding to my collection of items that I have purchased. Sometimes they have been very large boxes, I have mentioned that it has been a bulk buy on a collection or if it looked like a parcel full of clothes and they said something, I would mention that it is a random item for my collection that is heavily wrapped cloths, paper etc (to secure the package).

      Nothing has been mentioned and I don’t think they are aware of it that is why I would just wait and see.

      I hope it works out for you however if they query about it, choose to answer with what you feel most comfortable with.

      Feel free to chat with me anytime if you need help.

      Lots of Love,
      Jacinta xoxo

      3 users thanked author for this post.
    • #652058
      danielle
      Baroness
      Registered On: December 30, 2016
      Topics: 2
      Replies: 25
      Has thanked: 0 times
      Been thanked: 104 times

      Either way it goes I hope it works out well for you. It’s your choice and all that matters is that your true to yourself. Good luck and have fun.

      2 users thanked author for this post.
    • #652055
      Danielle MacGuffin
      Lady
      Registered On: May 21, 2021
      Topics: 6
      Replies: 180
      Has thanked: 421 times
      Been thanked: 719 times

      That’s a hard choice. I wouldn’t be able to come out to my parents. And I lived with them as an adult for a long time too. Luckily I had some amount of privacy, but it was still a tough secret to have. My relationship with my mother is tenuous at best. I can’t imagine telling her, except as a petty way to make her life miserable. (And no, I don’t actually want to do that.)

      I hope you have a better relationship with your parents. Like another commenter said, maybe they suspect or already know. Telling them might relieve some tension. It might not. The only person who knows best is you.

      Good luck honey. Hugs!

      Xoxo,

      Dani

      2 users thanked author for this post.
    • #652047
      Chloe Grace Anthony
      Lady
      Registered On: May 30, 2022
      Topics: 8
      Replies: 88
      Has thanked: 1 time
      Been thanked: 192 times

      That’s your choice. In most cases it may be best to let them know before hand, but they may not even care or already know as well

      2 users thanked author for this post.
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