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    • #326443
      Anonymous

      My last purge was over 10 years ago. The usual story – guilt over having a secret, guilt over money being spent, fear of discovery, fear of being in a dangerous situation. Even a fear of crashing my car while en femme.

      For 10 years I pushed that aside. I wasn’t hurting anyone. I wasn’t unfaithful to my wife.

      Then 2 months ago. I got upset with myself. I got rid of all of it. My clothes, wigs, makeup, shoes. Pictures. Online profiles. E-mail account. All of it. I knew I was being drastic. I thought about hiding it all away, just in case. But no, I decided to get Pamela out of my life forever.

      Sure, like that can happen.

      Now I’m upset with myself for doing it. I know Pamela is part of me. So I created my new e-mail address. I joined CDH.

      I reached out to a few people that might have some of my pics.  Hopefully, and then I can post some here.

      My company grounded us. No travel during coronavirus. So shopping and dressing will have to wait.

      And so it goes.

      Hugs to all!

    • #326471
      Anonymous

      Lord, if I had all the clothing I’ve thrown out over the last 50 years I would have to have a storage trailer at least 53′ long, and the money!! But I’m alone now and I don’t have to hide from anyone and can do as I please so I have an extensive wardrobe these days and love to slowly go thru’ them wearing what I want.

      Jessica

    • #326472

      The dreaded purge!  I’m sorry that you went through it. I know many of us have done that and for the same reasons you mentioned above.

    • #326473
      Anonymous

      I threw away a few items last year.  Thank goodness Diane stopped me from getting rid of the rest.  She insisted she was here to stay!

    • #326494

      Hi Pamela,

      So sorry you purged your shoes, clothes and all.  That case guilt can be overpowering.  Let Pamela out and be yourself.  Don’t let your true self be hidden away.  You can decide that there’s no reason for guilt.  It’s time to step forward and be you.

      Alice

    • #326660
      Elaine
      Duchess

      I guess all of us have been thru that.  You have my sympathy.  Welcome back.

    • #326851
      Ashley
      Lady

      Sorry about that Pamela. My last purge was about a year ago and I still regret it. I had a collection that basically went back to the beginning of my CD’ing and I lost some things I really enjoyed and still haven’t been able to replace yet.

    • #332426

      Hi, I purged the number of times thinking the same thing that you did. I often think about all of the pretty bras, panties, lingerie Etc that I threw away and more that were such a joy 2 to me. I was unsure of myself and doubted whether I wanted to continue with this. I now recognize who I am and what I am. I love being feminine. I now have a giant wardrobe and everything I need. I particularly love bras and panties and continue to buy. I take pleasure now in every moment that I am in my feminine side.

    • #332529

      Many of us have been in that dark place more than once.

      What I have learned, and now practice, is Don’t Purge!!!!

      You will regret some of those lovely clothes, and, darling, life is waaay too short!

      Love Laura

    • #332757

      Well, one advantage with purging is that you get to repeat the same mistakes you made before; or not if you don’t want to. You especially get to buy more stuff. Time to dust off that credit card.

      But seriously, the next time you get the urge to purge, store the stuff away for at least a year. I never heard of a person who vowed to get rid of their feminine persona who did not regret it. But then I suppose I wouldn’t hear about the ‘success’ stories.

      Araminta.

    • #332836

      A long time since I purged. I just keep all my stuff very well hidden now and just get it out when I have at least 3 or 4 hours to myself and can do it properly. Use of a good dressing service is another good option as then you don’t have to worry about hiding anything, except the photos.

    • #332837
      Anonymous

      I worry if I don’t purge from time to time my clothes will go out of fashion. On the plus side if I live long enough my clothes come back into fashion lol.

    • #332849
      Patty Phose
      Duchess

      I began dressing a lot in my teens and all through college.After college I wasn’t dressing much and eventually donated of discarded most of my clothes. I bought a house, got married, kids came along, I built a larger house, I was building my career. Life was moving on and it was great. Dressing was like something I used to do. It was fun, great and I had a lot of crazy, enjoyable and memorable adventures as Patty.

      The the kids grew and went out on their own. With the empty nest, my wife commented it was like back when we started. One day she was watching a show with drag queens.”You used to do that. You should do it again”.

      I took out my old stash. WOW!. I used to dress sexy. Can’t believe I had the nerve to wear those things. I slid on some pantyhose and stepped into the heels. It felt so nice. I was surprised and pleased I was able to stand and walk in those stilettos like I hadn’t worn them in maybe a couple of weeks. I was beginning to feel the, excitement, thrill and rush I used to feel all the time when dressed. When I tried to put on a bra and dress, I realized I used to be a lot smaller. I managed to squeeze into a top and skirt, put my Daisy Duke wig on and stepped out to show my wife. She giggled. “You’re going to need new things.

      We went out and bought a few dresses, some pantyhose, bras panties and makeup. I dressed everyday and loved it. I went to a lingerie shop I learned had crossdressing clients, where I dressed, got makeovers and got to know others. Then I learned about Femme Fever. It has been several years now since I brought Patty back. I’ve been loving it.

      Purging when not dressing for a long time I think is understandable. To toss everything, thinking that will stop you from dressing is not a good idea. You will just be going out and replacing the discarded things. I’ve heard this happen so many times. Take the clothes, put them in a bin and store them. If you are not dressing for a long time and find you don’t miss it or want to do it anymore, then donate the clothes. If the urge and desire to dress returns, you can get the bin and begin dressing again.

      I have also found I tend to upgrade my wardrobe often. There is things I just don’t wear anymore. I have so many other things I like so much better. So I do replace. Don’t purge.

    • #332892

      Thanks for your article Honey.

      I have purged three times over the last 40 years, and finally gave up the last time.

      I travel for work and also grounded, but since I am isolated, have been living as Rachael for a week – and love it.

      Rachael

    • #333252
      DeLora
      Lady

      I have had the urge to purge many times, but I am something of a hoarder, or I just don’t like to throw anything away… either way, I have never thrown out femme clothes unless they really didn’t fit, or were so worn out as to be useless.

    • #337895

      Well, I think we have all been there, there feelings etc.  My guilt was always a few days later realizing I discarded hundreds of dollars of lingerie etc.  The bright side for me was always, when the feelings passed of guilt I got to buy more.  🙂

    • #338207

      Simply put-That Sucks!

      As your thread shows it is very common. My last was 2007 when I thought I had a potentially life ending disease. Fortunately I self diagnosed wrong-no doc here…

      Once I realized I was OK I admitted to myself this side would never leave me and I set out to embrace my fem side and have not turned back and never will.

      I hope you and everyone here can live as we wish to

      Sandy

       

       

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