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Good and bad really, but I think I’m at some new “phase”. This weekend, I put on all my makeup, did my hair, but threw on a cute blouse, bra, femme jeans rolled up slightly and wedges. I actually looked super cute… but very “regular every day femme” kind of thing. This was the very first time I actually dressed “normal woman” LOL.
Anyhow, even though I still had random men approaching or calling me beautiful, for some reason I felt “different”. It wasn’t as…. exciting… internally.
I felt different enough that I only spent a couple hours out and about (vs. normally when I’m out dressed in my short skirts or booty shorts I find a billion places to go and never want to come home).
When I got home, I took off all the makeup, changed into boy mode, added a little brow and mascara, and went out again and full guy mode. What I noticed is I felt more “alive”.
Maybe this has something to do with my prior post. Maybe it’s all related. Maybe what excites me is being “different” than what society “expects”. Maybe, it’s the challenge of “going against the norms” that keeps my interest and adrenaline going vs. it being tied entirely to being a crossdresser. Or maybe, that’s the main reason I crossdress?
First off, I am no where as gorgeous as you Carmen and have not had to deal with getting approached other than some random cat calls. For many years before going out much I only wore skirts and dresses, professional yet slightly sexy imho. Once I started going out more and more I still dressed like that but started getting into more casual women’s attire. Maybe because going to home depot in an above the knee pencil skirt and heels stands out slightly lol. It doesn’t take getting guys attention or looking sexy to make me feel femme as it one seemed to do. Just being out and femme a bit makes it wonderfully relaxing.
Morning Carmen.
I find I’m kinda doing the same in some ways. I went out to look at heels on Sunday morning with full makeup, clip on earrings, ball cap, my woman’s skinny jeans, white t shirt with white lace bra very noticeable, my toenails painted with sheer beige pantyhose and a pair of burks on my feet. It just felt normal to be out like this. When I go out full femme I really only need to add my forms and a wig , maybe some accessories and a small purse.From all your musings you are one that strives for perfection in anything you do. we have read the cross dressing journey and other activities such as your martial art. You had to be the best.
There was a program about athletes I was listening to. Some athletes have a myopic attitude to get to the top. Every angle of what they do they will analyse and look to where they can pick up a millisecond or increase fitness levels and so on. The issue that came out was what happens when they reach the top? One athlete that achieved the ultimate goal suddenly found an emptiness. Where do I go from here, they were lost.
Perhaps that is where you are. You’ve done it, you appear to everyone as a woman, cat calls and attention every time. So what now Carmen? I know that you had mentioned taking the sexual side further but you had reservations, I believe. Do you want to go for a full gender reassignment?
I am at a point in life where going out and about as a woman is quite normal. The early thrill, apprehensions, fears have all but gone. I am still a male but am taken as a woman so I am normalized now which is possibly where you are. I am happy to take that and have options I could take but my dream was to be able to dress as a woman. I now pretty much live as one.
So what next for you Carmen.
Aye my Angela dear, you understand me so well and exactly on point with my current thought process.
That’s exactly it. What’s next.
I think I just need a reset. I went and deleted every post I ever made on the “other site”. I posted one today about my makeup, but didn’t say anything about being “a man”. Even right this very second, I’m thinking I should probably delete it and/or edit it to put that “I’m a man” part back in it.
I don’t know.
Is anyone else here wondering why you post saying you are a man? How relevant is it to you and your thought process and expected outcome? I am curious to know. You say you posted without mentioning that fact and now have second thoughts. I am wondering if you are displaying signs of imposter syndrome…
I hope you don’t mind the inquisition as I find you a very fascinating young lady!
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