• This topic has 33 replies, 20 voices, and was last updated 2 months ago by Anonymous.
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  • #575359
    Anonymous
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    Here’s a poser for you girls….

    whoa, hang on…firstly……happy weekend and I hope you are all enjoying life….on the whole….💓💓

    Ok……big decision time…..

    what if one of your dearest…be it son or grandson comes to you, and your wife/ S.O….and wants to be accepted as a crossdresser…he wants to dress as a girl, maybe in the future, to take it further ..who knows.

    What would be your reaction…and what do you think your partner would say …or maybe he wanted to use you as a go between…so you can tell his mum and dad….how would you explain it….and how would it go down in your family…

    and how about this!!!!….would you let your secret out of the bag to ease him in???? reveal all to stand by him????……maybe just let him drown ????….could you, would you or should you ????

    Nuclear explosion…or happy families???

    I have been watching Cop 26……….

    ……( How much was spent on that???…more lobster Boris ????) and it did make me think to the future….if we have one!!!…hence the post….

    Love you, grace xx

     

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    • #576025
      PY Marshall
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      Registered On: July 21, 2018
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      Hi Grace ,we have 5 G Ks 3 girls & 2 boys . the youngest 10 cannot get home fast enough. He has been kitted out with kitten heels ,chunky necklaces that he likes ,little bracelets and clip on earrings  from my wife’s mum at 89 . Heaven starts at home. I  have discussed this with the family concerned  ,and i think at our age we all agree to stand up for him. PS no makeup and boob’s at the moment  but” WoW” he is so content and happy . My Daughter say’s ,we know where this comes from. Py xx.

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      • #576038
        Anonymous
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        PY….

        Firstly….hi!!!….love to you both xx.

        Aged 10 and kitted with kitten heels and chunky necklaces….and clip on earrings too!!…oh to be 10 again…I would have died for that!!!

        Huggs, grace xx

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    • #575930
      Bridgette VonSmirff
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      When my oldest son came out to me as being a daughter I told him…uh…her about Bridgette immediately. I think I said something like, “well, I know where that came from, because…”

      She’s about to turn 21.

      Bridgette

      • #576005
        Sylvia
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        Dear Bridgette ,

        Incredibile !

        So for you , this is reality.

        I think your new found daughter is  very , very lucky to have two understanding parents on her side.

        Love Sylvia.

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    • #575758
      Anonymous
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      Hi Grace

      An excellent scenario from my perspective my love for family is unconditional, I would support any of them totally good or bad. We all know how hard it is being a crossdresser for someone much younger ie teenage years, they haven’t the experience in life like us. I think it’s our duty to support them and help them with the difficulties that can and do arise. Another point from my situation is I know my wife wouldn’t support my crossdressing, however if a family member or friends came out she would support them. It’s also okay for some people because it’s not really their problem as such, but they would like to be there for them. I personally really feel for the people who have been rejected and are alone, I also champion younger people I really admire their open mindedness.

      Love Sarah

      xx

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    • #575743
      Tina Q
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      Would it not be an easier reveal when started at an earlier age? The younger generation is more accepting of a crossdresser lifestyle and optics. I think it is the older generation that is less accepting.

      Reading many posts on CDH, many of us only revealed ourselves later in life. We had established ourselves as male. I could be or was a big shock to our friends, family employers, etc.

      For someone to reveal themselves as a crossdresser at a young age, there would be less history of what people saw us to be and more support of what they are.

      There were not many places to get support before websites like CDH. Trial and error was how we learned (and sometimes still learn) Our support would be invaluable.

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      • #575745
        Anonymous
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        Tina….

        Imagine if most of us had got our parents support as we grew up….instead we battled through it totally alone……and how we could nurture and guide our kids so much more perfectly now.

        ….as Michelle said…we know how hard it is to be a crossdresser x

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    • #575740
      Trisha Smith
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      Registered On: August 24, 2020
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      Very good question.

      To start with I wish I would have embraced Trisha sooner in life. I see all these posts about going clubbing and to shows and I set here in my very early 50s and think about where I go. Coffee shop. Book shop. Stores. Hey. I want to go clubbing too. Not really.

      So I would support and assist him/her at every turn. I would probably reveal my secret to him/her immediately and if I needed to come out to protect him/her I would do it in full on Diva Trisha mode. Possibly with a trip to ulta for the 2 of us so we roll in like it’s a fashion show and we ARE the standard. And since I am a bit petty, probably do it at a large family function, like Thanksgiving or Christmas.

      💕

      Trisha

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      • #575742
        Anonymous
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        Gosh Trisha….imagine having a Diva……for a dad!!!….being able to be the real you, at such an early age….with your parents blessing….well, at least one of them….would both be too much to ask for????

        Grace x

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        • #575748
          Trisha Smith
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          I had no support from either. I was caught multiple times with a myriad of items. Both stashed and on my person. Lectures about what boys do and mostly what they don’t do, cold shoulders, silent treatment, and exclusion usually followed.

          So yea, I would be all about that.

          💕

          Trisha

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    • #575728
      Jill Marshall
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      Registered On: June 28, 2020
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      Hmm how you want to think you’ll react and how you do may be two different things. On one occasion, not long after my wife and I had made progress sorting things about my own dressing, we went together to pick up my son from his day care. When we walk in, there he is in one of the dress up costumes, a princess gown complete with sparkly slip on one inch block heels! I think every synapse in my brain fired at once! My wife could tell it made me uncomfortable, but not knowing that it was mostly due to her presence and us witnessing this mutually–and of course she was like, “I would think you’d be thrilled about this!” I still don’t deal too well with the subject of my own dressing being decompartmentalized by surprise, or with the perception that being a CD gives me some special understanding of what’s going on with others.

      Fast forward years later to today, while I’d begin by letting them know they can have as much help or as much privacy as they want, and I’d have to listen pretty closely to figure out whether me revealing myself to them would actually be helpful and encouraging and something they need, or just make things weird! Maybe I’d put it like, its something I’ve done before. I can see from what my kids come home from school with–gender expression is a human rights topic in my daughter’s curriculum–that they are coming up with a completely different understanding of these issues than what I was given. We are on board with that, its one of the redeeming qualities of the modern world.

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    • #575726
      Anonymous
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      Funny you should bring this up Grace. My son and daughter in law had a little boy last weekend, thrilled to bits and it brings our grandkid total to 6 girls and 3 boys but it started me thinking what if one of them turns out like me, transexual\ transgendered. Is my family going to blame me for putting in the trans gene or will they just accept them and move on. All my kids know about me and they don’t care, my oldest told me it doesn’t matter what I look like or wear I’ll always be Dad. It made me feel really good, this was some time back when they were old enough and I officially came out so hopefully it will be jusy=t an oh yeah that’s nice so what’s for dinner kind of reaction. The younger generations are much more accepting and open to these issues thankfully.

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      • #575734
        Anonymous
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        Heather…

        Congratulations on the latest addition to your family….

        Nine….I expect there is a good chance one of them will surprise you with……..something !!!

        Grace xx

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        • #575970
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          Thanks Grace, that’s it we think or so we’ve been told, we’ll see.

           

    • #575700
      Brielle Ross
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      hi everybody, just to put a twist on this, what if your SO wanted to cross dress as a man or do ftm transition?

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      • #575706
        Sylvia
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        Dear Brielle ,

        What a twist indeed !

        First of all , I haven’t got a SO ( not married , single ) so for me this is purely hypothetical.

        To begin with , if She didn’t knew at that time , I would tell her that I am a Crossdresser.

        So then you are having not one , but two huge bombshelves at the same time !

        If you love each other I think there is ( almost ) nothing that would stand in the way of that

        ( but if there is one thing , this would certainly be it… )

        I the two of you could get past that , it would create a whole universe of new possibilities !

        Both could fully develop their true self , if one accepts the new “you” of the other in full , when possible.

        There could be a complete switch in the relationship between the Male and Female side benificial for both partners.

        Of course the sexual attraction between both partners would have to remain intact , or the relationship would soon turn out to be “just “a friendship and not an adult relationship anymore.

        But if you can get past all of these hurdles along the way , the relationship would stay the same only with complete reversal roles !

        Of course this is all hypothetical , but it could turn out to be THE strongest relationship possible……

        Love  Sylvia.

         

         

        ,

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    • #575686
      Sylvia
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      As I have no children Grace , that scenario won´t happen.

      But if  I had a kid and he would express those desires to me , first of all I would be very

      proud of him for having the courage to tell me ! and give him a big hug.

      Then I would reasure him that it´s allright to have those feelings , that there are many childen out there like him and that he should be who he wants to be.

      Over the years I would let him discover himself on his own , and when he gets older If those feelings are still there , and even grew stronger , so that maybe even transitioning would come into the picture , I would support him with that also , giving him advice as much as I can.

      Then , after his 18th birthday , I would probably tell him that : I have a big secret I want to shear with you , and only you , your dad has been crossdressing since childhood…. and that the apple didn´t fall far from the tree apparently !

      Love Sylvia.

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      • #575688
        Anonymous
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        Sylvia…imagine if any of our fathers had been crossdressers….and raised us in that protected way ….

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        • #575696
          Sylvia
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          I know what you mean Grace , but unfortunately it wasn’t meant to be….

          But Now at least , we can be who ever we wan’t to be….within certain limits of course

          ( Still in the closet myself ).

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    • #575670
      Celeste Starre
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      I don’t have kids of my own but ,if I did ,I would certainly help them should they ask including talking about my own CD activities. On the other hand if it was someone else’s kid, for both my physical and legal well being ,I wouldn’t touch that subject with a ten foot pole.

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    • #575627
      Michelle McQueen
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      Registered On: June 14, 2021
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      I have no children but if I did I would like to think I would be super supportive. I know how hard it is to be a crossdresser so I would want to help them as much as possible. I’m not sure if I would come out to them or not but probably would.

      I have two nieces who came out as lesbians and I have encouraged them to be themselves. Today one of them lives openly with their partner. Neither know of my dressing.

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      • #575668
        Anonymous
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        Michelle….spot on!!!!

        I know how hard it is to be a crossdresser “

        …they could not ask for better guidance…xx

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    • #575623
      Barb Wire
      Duchess - Annual
      Registered On: September 16, 2021
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      Morning Grace and CHD!!

      “Good for it!! By the way, son and daughter, I’d like to introduce you to ‘Barb Wire’”.

      Me and my SO (Senior Officer) have already and repeatedly let our kids know to follow their heart, no matter where or whatever spectrum they land on.

      And to “Get a JOB!” once done with university. (Tough parents!!)

      (Daughter currently an RN at our local hospital and son working on his PhD in AI – artificial intelligence – I was his role model – HA HA!!)

      Me and SO are over the moon!!

      👩‍❤️‍💋‍👨 Barb 🌖

       

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    • #575622
      Stephanie Kennedy
      Registered On: March 15, 2019
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      Hi Grace What a interesting question I guess you could say I live in a feminine house hold. There are three generations of woman. My wife. mother in law, and my 35 years old daughter who is slowly trying to move her self back in after experiencing a failed marriage. My wife and mother in law both know how I prefer to dress. { mostly androgynous  } I would say. Despite all my clothes being made for woman; It works for me right now. We are raising three grandchildren all boys. I would say I would wait to see how everything plays out. Its a little different today there does not seem to be a huge difference between feminine and masculine clothing  to day especially when it come to colors..  My middle grandson has very feminine tendencies. I watch as he is trying to figure it all out. We let all the boys wear what they prefer to wear without any negative criticism.. Just last week I was out shopping with my middle grandson looking for a new phone. We found one that he wanted when the sales lady asked what color he wanted black or bright pink, that was the only colors the had in stock that day he chose pink. I just said I like that color also. I just said black is so boring and it harder to find if you ever misplaced your phone. He had the cutest happy smile when when the saleslady handed him his new phone with a bright new pink case. Then we just moved on. He did mention to me during our ride home there were a lot of girls at his school that wanted to be boys. I just said its a difficult time in young peoples life it will all work itself out later in life, but in the mean time just enjoy being young. Getting old is not much fun. He said to me you will never get old and thanked me for his new phone then he said he loved me.  Just treat each other with empathy, kindness and respect. You would be amazed and quickly find out that the clothes you choose to wear that day really do not matter to the ones you love and those who love you back. My experience has been try not to go over the top with your dressing, save that for special occasions when you are out and about or going to places that there are people like us just trying to have fun while expressing how they feel. Sometimes life is not easy when cross dressing is a part of your life but when you stop and think about no one’s life is easy. We just have to make the best of what we are given and go on from there.

      Luv Stephanie

      .

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      • #575663
        Anonymous
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        Thank you Stephanie…a lovely read…

        It’s funny with colours…how men are usually expected to be dull and dark, while women are….anything they like.

        I will say I have seen a lot more men about town in brighter clothes, pink or yellow shirts are common…and brighter coloured trousers and jackets too….. maybe the tide is turning???

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    • #575616
      Anonymous
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      My wife and I have talked about this a fair amount. If one of my kids came out, be it related to their gender or sexuality, I would share with them that they are not alone in this, and that I have similar feelings. The last thing in the world I’d want one of my kids to feel is that no one understands them, or that their parents don’t have their back. Their happiness and health are our top priority, bar none, including any difficulty I might have in letting them know about how their dad identifies.

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    • #575612
      Anonymous
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      Hi Grace that’s a good question, I think i would support them totally, as for coming out myself I’m not so sure about that, I’ve got a really big family with 5 brothers and 3 sisters, numerous nieces and nephews and cousins I’m sure there must be another crossdresser somewhere in the mix, I can’t be the only one in the family who loves to dress 👗 up, maybe there is someone just like me in the family and they are in the closet too,

      Huggs Roz X

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    • #575598
      Connie Twirl
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      Registered On: August 18, 2021
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      Hmm. No kids, some remote nephews and second cousins I’ve never met, so it’s academic for me. I’d like to think I wouldn’t throw him under the bus, but I’m not sure I’d come out myself either. I’d make it known that I accepted it and that the family should too, and give what support I could. I’d fight his corner, for sure.

      Further down the line, who knows?

      Connie

      xxx

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    • #575593
      Raquel Smith
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      Registered On: August 26, 2021
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      Grace, first, I have no sons but do have several nephews.  I really want to think that if one of them stated a desire to crossdress I would wholly support them.  I doubt I have the courage to come out to my family to show solidarity in all honesty.  But, I hope I could be strong enough to at least reach out to him privately and let him know it was okay to just be himself and wear whatever he wanted.  I don’t know if I could even reveal Raquel to him, though.

      It’s funny, though, because I do have a niece who’s a young professional and lives in our city, which is hours away from any other family.  My wife and I suspect she may be lesbian.  Just gut feelings. So on my recent free weekend where I could be Raquel 24/7, I thought about reaching out to her.   I really want to confide in her. I chickened out.

      My natural human instinct for self-preservation overpowered any desire for having a confidant.

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    • #575367
      Laura Lovett
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      Registered On: March 26, 2020
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      If it was my own son, I’d be a) Over the moon and b) A bit amazed if he wanted to go all the way.

      My older son has always been sporty, enjoys football (the correct name for soccer), and has mostly traditional male friends and tendencies. He has always got on well with girls too, and I am a bit envious of how he so naturally seems to switch between groups of boys or girls (segregation starts in the playground, and my eldest doesn’t seem to recognise that, which is wonderful!) – so maybe he has feminine tendencies, or maybe he’s just nice to everyone. He is an incredibly easy going character.

      My youngest can be the opposite – very difficult and stubborn – or read that as very clear in his own mind about what he wants. He also doesn’t really recognise that boys and girls are separate – different, yes, but no boundaries.  Many is the time I’ve seen him dress up in female clothing at school or at home – not regularly, but any time he feels like it, he will, and won’t be at all embarrassed – and no-one here will pick him up on it. He’s also incredibly imaginative – all his teachers confirm this unprompted, so he’s likely to be artistic and wierd like me – and too right!

      If either said that they wanted to transition, it would really depend on how strongly they felt about it. As children, I don’t think they have the full picture, so I would strongly encourage waiting until say 16, but as I say, it depends.

      At 12, I thought I wanted to transition, but actually wasn’t too sure – especially about people’s reactions.

      Now that I care a lot less about people’s reactions to stuff that doesn’t concern them, I still wouldn’t transition myself, despite my loathing of male physicality.

      After all, I don’t see it most of the time, and I wear mostly women’s clothing anyway, so I don’t feel male – I just feel like me.

      So I would be supportive and listen to any child who had concerns, and try to help them celebrate and be happy with their “wierd feelings”, but not push the agenda.

      Love Laura

      • #575378
        Anonymous
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        How lovely,  just well written and explained and I would expect nothing less from you…

        Imagine….Laura and Laura junior hit Bournemouth….no Karaoke would be safe!!!….omg….huggs x

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    • #575362
      Angela Booth
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      Registered On: August 1, 2020
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      It wouldn’t be an issue in my family. They accept me all the way down the line from Mum and Aunt in their nineties and the new generation, three years old, (they only know Aunty Angela) so it would be fine. Happy days for any if they did want to come out.

      • #575364
        Anonymous
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        Angela…

        wow…total acceptance…you lucky girl…and what a great platform for a ” newbie “….thank you x

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