- This topic has 22 replies, 19 voices, and was last updated 5 years ago by
.
- Posts
I wish I had the courage to walk into a women’s clothing store as a man and feel comfortable enough to buy something for myself. I always feel like I’d be caught. I would like to think if I was asked about it, I can say it’s for my wife. But then, my wife is much shorter than me so that cover can only work for so much. And don’t get me started on shoes! I can never find size 13 shoes anywhere in town!
So of course I shop online, but it would be nice if I could find something, try it on and where it at home the same day without being embarrassed.
What are your struggles with this?
Hi Vanessa Marie, Just last Sunday, I was at a department store in the women’s underwear section. I was in male mode, picking out some shapewear briefs for myself when I was spotted by two friends, (husband and wife). holding a pair of shape-wear briefs. The wife said to me said to me, ‘they’d look good on you’. I was already holding pantyhose and women’s ‘v’ t-shirts. They then went on their way with no other comments. I thought to myself, ‘If only they knew that I was a crossdresser. I was not at all worried, Each time I go shopping for women’s clothes/lingerie, I am confident and positive. I am sure that real women have that 6th sense, and can pick up on ‘males’ that shop for themselves. Knowing what one wants to buy is a help.
Vanessa…..you will overcome your shyness with practice and experience. Keep the faith girl.
Lady Veronica
Hi Vanessa, I too do much of my shopping on line, however I often buy Tights (pantyhose) makeup and underwear in male mode and have never had any comment from anyone. In fact when browsing the makeup isle, in male mode, I was pleasantly surprised that no one took any notice of me. Once, when buying underwear in Marks & Spencers, a couple of young girls were looking at me and giggling, I just concentrated on what I was doing and carried on. Lady Veronica is right, as you build up your confidence you will find it easier, take it in little steps, you will get there in the end.
I mean yeah, pretty much just have to do all my shopping online for this reason. Some of us are bold and do buy stuff in stores, but I think you just have to decide what your level of comfortability is. What I’d really like is if when I’m out shopping with my wife, maybe I’ll throw a cute dress into the cart for me, too! In reality, though, I very rarely buy stuff for myself, from the men’s or women’s department. Too many other things to blow my spending money on first, plus I love to spoil my wife and buy her new things.
I do understand your struggles, Vanessa. It took me months before I was comfortable shopping in person for myself. I have always preferred shopping in person as I hate having to return items. Being able to try different items on is helpful to ensure proper fit and style. What I always found interesting is that I never felt nervous shopping for the women in my life, only for myself. I felt like the other patrons knew that I was shopping for myself, which makes no logical sense. I still occasionally have some nerves when shopping, but even that is slowly going away with each experience. Experience is definitely the best cure for nerves.
I will have to disagree with several members here. The only negative remarks and looks that I have received were from my fellow patrons. The sales associates at each of the retailers that I visited have been nothing, but helpful and courteous.
MacKenzie Alexandra
<p style=”text-align: center;”><p style=”text-align: left;”>I believe in the comments that say it takes time to build up confidence when you are out shopping for yourself in male mode I have been asked if I needed any help in the women’s department and I just said no I’m doing fine looking for something for my wife my wife is much shorter than me but nonetheless they don’t know that</p></p>
Hi Vanessa Marie
I too was terrified at first when shopping in person for clothes, make up etc. After a while I realised people don’t really care, they are too wrapped up in their own lives, and the shop assistants want the sale.
Last year I saw a beautiful Summer dress in a local supermarket and knew I had to have it, so I drove to another branch of the store in another town where I found it in my size. It was tagged ( damn ) so had to take it to a manned till rather than self service. I decided that if the female assistant serving me asked, I would simply say it was for myself, she would think I was joking. She only commented how lovely the dress was, I agreed and left with a warm happy feeling.
The buzz of shopping in person really is worth it.
I usually drive to nearby towns where nobody knows me.
Supermarkets with self service tills are great, as long as the items are not tagged.
If you worry you may bump into somebody in a supermarket with incriminating stuff (bras, heels, foundation etc ) in your basket buy a newspaper to cover it, something I have done in the past😂😂😂
Relax, relax, relax, just say what you are buying is for you, they will think you are kidding !
Good luck,
love
Bianca
I was out recently in male mode. Purchased some capri’s and a top. Waited until the dressing room cleared to try them on. Nervous for sure but i had to take the next step. Funny when cashing out the cashier (female) asked me if i needed a gift receipt. No there for me i replied!!!Oops i got a shoulder bag too! Getting more relaxed everytime!
I bought a pair of pink flats online from long tall sally, and to save on shipping I had them sent to the store. Of course, that meant I had to walk into a women’s store and say “I need to pick up the shoes I ordered.”
I did just that this afternoon and the sky didn’t fall. The associate who helped me was very friendly, and asked if I wanted to try them on first or just take them home. I opted to just take them home, but as soon as I got to my car I regretted not taking the opportunity to try them on in the store.
Next time…
(They look great, btw)
I have been shopping in thrift stores recently. Oten find some adorable outfits and best of all inexspensive. Only once did a cashier ask if I found what I needed and then said the blouses I had should look cute. Wasn’t sure where she was going with that but had a big smile and then winked saying see you again soon.
I was worried a little, when I first started shopping for myself. Until I walked into a store that sells only women’s clothing. I took a dress off the rack, and was asked by the sales lady, if I would like a changing room. I was dressed as just a normal man. Imagine my surprise. I just looked at her, and said that would be lovely. No further comments were made.
Ill go into womens sections all the time, im not there to please anyone but myself.
They don’t know who you are shopping for and what reason. Ive gone into cosmetic shops and bought items all the time.
Im not saying they wouldnt know what im doing with it, im saying that you shouldnt be embarrassed by getting things you like without the gawkers and judgementalists.
When I am out, i go in male mode. I havent decided if I want to go public yet in lady mode.
😊
I shop in person. I still feel butterfly’s when I first walk in. I think it’s mostly that somebody I know will see me. I try to drive to an area that will limit the chances of being recognized. I swear to God just today I bought some foundation from a store and when I drove off – I saw a person I knew from high school (she now is a beautiful woman) going in the store.
I have bought dresses, bras, pantyhose, shoes, makeup (that’s the easiest) from stores. For some reason shoes are the most awkward. Nordstrom Rack and Payless has size 13 (for Payless you might have visit one in a more urban area). Places like Walmart (for undies) – they have self check-out.
Hi Jamie Noir, it does get easier. For those that shop for lingerie etc in male mode. The more we shop the more confident one will get. I don’t worry what others think. I do it for myself. Know what you want to buy, before going to the store. That way one will not draw attention to yourself. Be confident and pleasant. You will find that the sales staff will give a positive comment. I was told one time when I purchased a nightie that the colour suited me. All the best with your shopping Jamie.
I have been nervous too but I have been doing this a long time. I love to shop at Macy’s I go in to try on bras panties slips camisoles. Over the years I have heard only once or twice comments from others I just ignore it I am here to spend some money . I pick out the items I want to try on walk over to the fitting rooms & walk in to find empty one & close & lock the door then I just proceed to try on all the items I want to check fit of . It’s amazing how much difference bras bands are when size (42B) is the same from different brands My best luck is Bali, Playtex, Vanity Fair, Wacoal that’s why I love to check the fit of what I want . My latest was going in for new bras I wore in one my favorite bras with my breast forms in covered it with a lose shirt & vest & walked in found the bras I wanted & went to the fitting rooms & proceed to try them on . I bought 3 of them I know they know they were for me I bought because they were on sale for about 60% off super deal for me! I loved that & really had fun finding what I wanted ! Macy’s has been very good to me & they just want to sell merchandise .
- The forum ‘General Chat “Life as it Goes On”’ is closed to new topics and replies.
Recent Comments