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Hi Girls, sorry i have not posted a poll for a while, i have been mad busy!! Ok the thought for today is about venues and would you actually go to one if it was near you? we are talking about crossdressing venues here, i have given this some thought myself and i think i would be very tempted, but only if i had some moral support. Maybe you are different, maybe you would just go for the hell of it! maybe not, lets see shall we?
Fiona xxx
If I could pass, or at least not stick out like a sore thumb, and I had a reasonably high degree of confidence that no one I knew would see me (unless, of course, they were dressed too) I would try it.
Hi Kimmie You do not have get all dressed up to go to these events. If you see some one you know and they see you, just say hi and assume they are there for the same reason you are there. They have a interest . Just wear what you are comfortable wearing .You just want to see what it is all about. These events are for all of us who have a interest. It is a huge community. We all have the same fears. Just do not dress stupid. As you said try to fit in. That may mean just wearing cute panties under your jeans. Go and learn about your community. We are construction workers, policeman, firefighters, lawyers, Doctors . Luv Stephanie ❤️❤️
Hi Fiona I would love to go. I would want to get my nails done. Maybe my wig styled and put up. Some one to put my make up on and make me feel pretty. Buy a dress that fit and helped me look cute. Then bu y a pair of shoes to help me feel and look sexy. Then let’s go dancing and have some fun. What girl would not want to do that. Luv Stephanie ❤️
I would love to meet with my girlfriends. I go out now but it’s not nearly as much fun as it would be with all of you. A place where we could get all made up and dressed. Sooooo much fun.
You got it girl that what’s its all about having fun. We just donnot do enough of it. I can not thinkbof a better day than getting cute and strutting our stuff luv Stephanie ❤️
Yes I’m with you on that one. Sometimes I spend hours doing my makeup and dressing to impress, just to take it all off a few hours later without even setting foot outside my front door. It seems like an huge amount of wasted effort. I can’t go on like that. I need to get out and put my strut on. Feeling like that as I’m sure many of us girls do, you soon get to the point where discouragement and frustration sets in and it almost makes you feel like not bothering. There should be lots more TV/CD/TS friendly places in every town and city where you can just chill out, have fun and be yourself.
Hi Vicky There are places every where. There are millions of us out here. We all have to have some type of outlet for our anxiety to express our selves. There is a place here in Mass.called the Tiffany club I think they have changed their name.now. I used to belong twenty five years ago . I loved it. It’s still there. I am hesitant to rejoin due to a trans woman I know is a member. She is a loose cannon. She works in the same profession as I do. I can not afford to have her start sharing her secrets to her cis woman friends. Most of the woman I know. These private clubs are every where. Just do a little digging Luv Stephanie ❤️❤️
most of my outings are at support group events that i atttend with my wife
my wife has become friends with some other wives in my support groups which has made the events a lot of fun
I would prefer to have the company of another CD, so I could be certain of having someone to talk to, but the opportunity would be too good for me to pass up, in any case.
Not only do I go to venues, I go out even if there are no venues.
I have a support group that I go to 9-10 times a year. Another friend holds parties for CD/TG and supporters depending on her schedule. Sometimes the dress for these parties is party wear, and other times it is themed, even with costumes. So not only am I walking down her street en femme, but in a costume! I have another friend who holds 2 parties a year.
In addition, I’ve been into New York City several times (most recently for an opera about Stonewall last month). But I don’t need a venue to go out en femme.
I have an app through work that rewards you if you get to certain step levels (or equivalent) and sleep amounts each day. Weekdays it is usually not a problem reaching those levels, but weekends it had been. So I’ve been taking walks on the weekends to get in enough steps to reach those levels. After the first couple of times, I started walking en femme in my own neighborhood, wearing a skirt or skort and a tank top and just enough makeup to cover my beard. I have also gone to my local supermarket to pick up some items I forgot during the week. One day earlier this month before my walk I stopped into my local dress barn (about a quarter mile from my house) where they know me en homme. The way one of the saleswomen said “Oh, hi!” as she passed me in the aisle, I am pretty sure that recognized me.
Yes it’s fun if I can go out with friends. But I’m happy to go out on my own too.
Fiona, I love this poll, but being the troublemaker I am, I can’t check off just one box. In my case, I think all three of these apply:
“i am unsure about it, maybe yes, maybe no”
[but] “i would go if i had someone to come with me” and
“i would prefer to attend as a group”
Those at CDH who know me, know that I am über-closeted crossdresser, and am terrified of stepping out my front door – sort of like you, a scaredy cat.
BUT, if the venue was near me (short drive), and the venue was in a quiet, LGBTQ-friendly place where I could feel safe with the other CD attendees, then maybe yes. My plan would be to check into a nearby motel, a room on the first floor where I could park the car just outside the door. I would check in in drab, dress, jump into the car, then hopefully a short drive to pick up/drive with another CD. We could then drive together to the venue. I would hope there would be maybe a half-dozen or so of us at the meetup.
I would never go out alone en femme, or to a raucous event, even accompanied by other CDs. I am old and slow, and prefer tranquility to loud and crazy-wild.
Oh, and food. I love food, so I hope “the venue” would have a nice quiet restaurant on the grounds!
Great topic again Fiona. I definitely would go if we had a venue in my community. BUT, our city of 70,000 people in northern Canada doesn’t have a CD venue. The nearest big city is a 4.5 to 5 hour drive (with nothing else between except grizzly bears and moose) and I’m not sure if there is still a CD venue there or not; maybe had one a few years ago. Clearly a business opportunity but ours is considered a somewhat “redneck” community (lots of young men working in super-macho jobs). We were joking that our city’s crest should be a large dog sitting atop a quad (or snowmobile) which is sitting atop a jacked-up pickup truck with rifles hanging in the rear window. Nonetheless, I still go out in public en femme, and pass some of the time. Lucky to be living in Canada (the country where almost everyone is polite, even most rednecks!!!!) and even if you are clocked, people are too polite to say anything or just don’t care. Hugs, Krista.
Depending on the venue and company, if satisfactory, most certainly.
Some CD venues in this part of the world are not to my taste. eg Pubs in Industrial areas on a Saturday night.
If you widen out the “area”. I have been to many CD venues both here in “OZ” and in the UK and North America. But most of those were 20-30 years ago.
The most important one in recent times was “Transformal” up at Katoomba NSW in August 2017. Katoomba is up in the Blue mountains about 2hrs drive west of Sydney. (Took me at least 3…. I had not driven out of Sydney airport in 15 years)
So in summary a qualified yes. Tho I dont hesitate to go out in public “solo” these days if I gte half a chance.
Happy dressing
Caty
Yes I would definitely go. I need to be with other girls.
Well!!! many positive answers here!! gosh, you girls are fantastic! now…. i have been a little loose about the venue as Valerie and Rachel have noticed. To be fair i wasnt sure either! lets just keep it simple, a meet up with other crossdressers or maybe a night out at a bar etc, i’m not talking about anything drastic here or out of the norm, just a simple meet up or maybe a get together at a bar or maybe even just simply going on a walk or something, the point i was trying to make, is would you do it? would you go or not? geez, if only life was so simple!! i suppose its not just a simple yes or no question as the question raises even more questions!! but hey!! we like a good thinking session dont we? 🙂
Love and kisses, Fiona xxx
I’ve actually got a regular opportunity to do this I’ve been contemplating for a few months now… but so far I haven’t worked up the nerve. I think once I got past the anxiety I’d enjoy the experience, but my two concerns are being seen by my landlords (who I’m pretty sure wouldn’t understand) on the way out and being seen by someone I know while there since it’s in a public venue close to home. So definitely in the “maybe yes, maybe no” category. I think I may try the waters with a private trans club if anything, even if that’s a significantly more expensive option.
I have been once with a friend she talked me into going. It was more a drag pageant. I would like to go and socialize with other Cd TG
Hi Kyle I don’t understand drag queens . I think they are gay men dressing as woman . I think they are entertainers. Cis woman love them because they exaggerate the female talking and female body movement. I am not a entertainer I just want to be accepted as simple,cute little sexy woman . Luv Stephanie ❤️❤️
They *are* entertainers.
I’d like to try drag sometime. Just like burlesque it’s a different way to explore my love of crossdressing.
(I know a couple of our local drag queens. Yes, they are predominantly gay and, to the best of my knowledge, do not otherwise dress. But I have nothing but respect and admiration from them for being a crossdresser, just as I admire their ability to create their persona and give their all on stage.)
Stephanie Kennedy I am a bit confused by the whole drag queen mentality to be honest. They are by rule of thumb gay guys who are interested in other gay guys, so why would they want to dress as women who gay guys are not attracted to, unless it was for sheer exhibitionism/entertainment purposes which it supposedly is. It’s like “I’m a guy interested in attracting guys but I dress as a woman that gay guys would not look at twice.” Can anyone else see what is wrong with this picture? When I dress as a woman I don’t want to attract guys OR girls, I just want to be seen as a girly girl just doing my feminine thing and hanging out. I don’t want to be hit on by anyone. I’m happily married and I don’t want or need any sexual advances from anyone. Girl, it’s so confusing. Lol.
This past April, when I was out of town, I got the opportunity to go to a T-Girl dinner. Not many girls, in fact there were only 2 of us. Myself and the one who put this together. Still, it was lovely and we had wonderful conversation. Later, 2 cis women who knew our host joined us and it really got going. I’d love to do this again and meet other ladies.
It’s definitely something I’ve thought about, but the only place around where I might be able to get away with it (but not entirely sure) is a local LGBTQ bar. I almost went there a few months back while my wife was out of town. I was all dressed up and feeling adventurous after filling my gas tank for the first time en femme, so I drove there but for some reason it was closed that evening. Still not sure if I would have actually gone in. I’ve been there before with my wife & some friends for a drag show, so I’m okay with the place, just not sure about their acceptance for hetero crossdressers (I would hope they would welcome us, but ??)…
Well, talking about this made me decide to call the local LGBTQ bar and ask if they were “crossdresser friendly”. The girl that answered replied that they don’t care what anybody wears and to come on down. I told here that I wasn’t gay, just a crossdresser and she said that everyone was welcome. So, as I was already fully dressed since the wife was out of town for the weekend, I got up the courage to go out (even though I was by myself). Upon entering, the bartender, a very pretty girl, asked me if I was the one who called earlier. She was so sweet and made me feel most welcome, complimenting me on the job I did with my makeup. At the time, the place wasn’t very busy yet since it was kind of early, but the other patrons didn’t seem to give me a moment’s notice, so I felt comfortable just hanging out. I ordered a beer and the bartender asked me my name, to which I replied, “When I’m dressed like this, it’s Tricia!” So we had some great conversation (she informed me that she was a lesbian, which of course is cool by me). I told her about my need to finally get out and be somewhere besides at home alone (tired of being all dressed up with no where to go) and she thought it was great that I was so comfortable in my own sexuality to do that. I told her that I was not looking for anything but some time out of the house, a couple drinks and good conversation – and that’s what I got. It was so nice! I did show her a picture of me in “male mode” and asked if she thought that I would be recognized by people that might know me. She said she didn’t think so. Another guy at the bar heard us talking and asked if I minded if could see my pic and he said, “No way!” Makes me wonder if I really could get away with it…
But the best part of the evening was hearing somebody call me “Tricia” (she was sure to call me by my name several times – it was so beautiful to hear) in person for the first time! I felt as if I was floating on air. And later in the evening as more customers came in (they have a drag show and it attracts people of all kinds – I had gone there several years ago myself with my wife for her sister’s birthday) everything was still going great. That’s when I experienced another highlight of the night when a young (hetero) couple sat next to me at the bar to order a drink and the girl told me I looked fabulous, loved my outfit, and that my makeup was impeccable and made me look very pretty. I thanked her (of course) and told her that it was the first time I had gone out like this and she said I should do it more often, that I looked great. I felt the best I think I have ever felt while dressed en femme. Through the night I got appreciative looks and many complements. Any fears I had were put to rest. Nobody tried to hit on me – take that as you will, I appreciated it because, as I said, I was not looking for anything other than a couple drinks and such. I am happily married (although still in the closet – sigh).
I stayed for the show for a bit and when I got ready to leave, the bartender gave me the biggest hug and told me what a pleasure it had been to meet and talk to me and said to be sure to come back. Of course I told her the same and also said I would return when the opportunity presented itself again (could be a while!). The guy working the door also talked to me for a while and informed me of other places I could go out dressed and feel welcome, which was great to know.
So, I guess what I’m really trying to say here is that if you have any doubts, call any place you think may be okay and give it a try. It was a wonderful experience to just go out and be the other person that I need to be with someone other than myself and without judgment or ridicule.
I can’t wait until I get the chance to do it again!
Tricia Lynn
I myself have just started venturing out theses past few months but it’s a couple of hours away, a big drive with lots of excitement along the way . But a local venue, yes would be great. Unfortunately the possibilities of meeting up with someone I know would be embarrassing but still getting out where more confinance is made I’m surely would be fun.
Stephanie 🌹
Getting out more I
That would be great I would really like that . Toronto is an interesting trip needless to say especially all dressed up and so far away from comfortability base . Hoping for the no unforeseens but what a lovely time and October nearly upon us. Humm. …
Stephanie 👗
Go for it !
Look for a local support group. My wife and I go to one near us (Bristol UK), I get changed there, as my wife does not want our neighbours to see me dressed. If you bump into someone you know, then they are there for the same reasons as you !
We may be going to a local group that meets in a restaurant tomorrow night, which will be the first time I would have been seen dressed in public (still local but about 10 miles away so far enough, I’ll still get changed in the loo there).
And don’t forget, there is safety in numbers. You are far less likely to be noticed.
At the support group we have the village hall to ourselves so can use either. I usually use the baby change one as there is lots of room. Apologies for the long delay, dressing has been on a back burner due to health issues lately.
Is Bristol relatively CD friendly?
I’m thinking of going to a “new” place after my next Brighton visit, and Bristol is totally do-able!
Maybe see you in January?
Love Laura
Hi girls.
One of the advantages of living near Manchester in the UK is that there is the gay village where there are weekly groups for CDs including changing rooms and no compulsion to dress in any particular way i.e. the curious dresser can go in male atire without issue.
Having said all this, I haven’t as yet attended. Lots of self promises and good intentions but thus far very little action.
That’s why I voted other.
Take care girls.
Anne-Marie.
I try to do just that every chance I can. Unfortunately, the closest T friendly club is a bit over an hour drive from me. I do try to get there at least once a month and always have a blast when I do. If I lived in Amarillo, I would probably be there every weekend, and even some special event nights too.
I would love to attend a venue near me as long as I had a friend to go with, i would need help with my make-up though as I’m not very good at putting it on, it would be great to dress up and go out and maybe go dancing or for a meal x
Yes I would love to attend a cross dresser event. I live in a small welsh town, I could go Cardiff or Swansea or travel further afield. I would maybe rather go further afield as I be among people I could be more open. It would be a great experience to be a woman in a unfamiliar location and with like minded people.
I have been looking for something like this for a while now. Even a gay bar that was open to having a straight man that just happens to like dressing up as a pretty lady. I just want a place to go out and socialize have some fun without fear of being harrased.
Hi Fiona,
I’d jump at going to a cross dressing event near me. But the likelyhood is it’d be several hundred miles (or more) away closer to a major metropolitan city.
Alice
Hi Alice! I love your name and my underwire bras! Come see me in Lexington, Ky. I have two gay bars near me in downtown, The Bar Complex on Main St. and Crossings on Limestone across from the courthouse
Absolutely I would go. I’d prefer to go with a friend but it’s likely I would go if I had a chance to check out the place first in drab.
Fiona, I have never gone to a venue for crossdressers. To have something close to me I would be there in flash, but with another crossdresser. Unfortunately I don’t know any crossdressers. Nor do I know of any venues. Maybe that will change!! Thank you!!! Now you done it, you got me thinking.. Kristen Lee
Me to girl I would love to have a place like that near me Oh! I have two 2 blocks away in downtown Lexington, Ky. The Bar Complex on Main St. by The Kentucky Theater and Crossings on Limestone across from the courthouse Both very CD/ TG friendly The Bar has wonderful drag shows twice a night Thursday – Saturday
There are some CD friendly venues in my area. I’d like to visit them, but haven’t yet. I’m not ready to venture out to a place like that on my own yet. I’ve been trying to arrange an outing with friends. One day, it will happen.
I don’t know if I would go. But than again I might.
See I’m not an everyday cross dresser. Oh, I wear womens clothes daily, but I wear a beard, don’t do make-up or Jewelry.
I don’t do the female impersonation thing.
I’m me and me being me upsets others. See I don’t quite fit in with one group. I have other cross dressers bash me, regular people bash me and everyone in between.
I am in Hippie’s league. I would love to go to any event or venue filled with crossdressers so I can chat with others who share similar inclinations. I would need to know that a man in a dress would be welcomed, however. Like Hippie, I wear a beard and do not wear make-up, jewelry, nail polish or wigs.
I recently learned about Club Linger in London, a weekly event for masculine crossdressers. Too bad it recently closed, because I might have made London a vacation destination.
I probably would if it was romantic lingerie specific! I don’t have much of anything else in my wardrobe other than lingerie.
Well I have the clothes and accessories, heels and all but would love to go to an event like that It’s always been about the lingerie for me Since I found and wore my first open bottom girdles
Being new at this after coming out as Sara there are 2 things I have to ask.
#1. If you attend one of these groups do you have to be cross dressed or partially would be Ok
#2. I am a closet dresser in the privacy of my own home so would that eliminate me from attending a venue.I would love to meet some other CDer’s for help and advice. I have some wonderful friends on here now too but face to face and talking would be so much more even if I don’t go out in public yet except for my under man clothes Femme stuff.
SaraSara, any way you want to attend would be fine. To get out with others to discuss a large assortment of issues, to allow us to be ourselves, a night out as Karynn, etc. How you present yourself is up to you. We have all started from square one and progressed at our own pace. You just have to follow your own path. No judgements.
Sara, I am nuch like you in that I only dress at home. I would leave my apartment in drab carrying my femme wear in a shopping bag. Upon arrival at the venue, I would slip into a rest room and change into my femme wear.
I would absolutely love to attend something. I have girlfriends and other supporters I have that would be right there by me. I know of 2 that would make sure Jane was absolutely perfect before I walked out of the house. To bad nothing like that is gonna happen where I live.
Hello girls, my answer is yes, definitely, I would not think twice, I really would love to have a place like this close to me where I can go and meet other people who understand and share this wonderful and beautiful lifestyle. , being able to talk with them and be in a femme in a completely safe and welcoming environment,
Greetings to all girlsYes I would and I already have. Two months ago I went to a support group where there were 5 other CD’s and earlier this month I attended a private dinner for a dozen CD’s. In mid-December I’m going to a xmas party with the same group from the private dinner where there will be around 20 ladies there dressed to the nines! Can’t wait.
I;m so envious as there is nothing I have found in the Lehigh Valley, PA. Enjoy your outing! Best, Marlene.
Marlene,
You are not that far from New Hope, there’s a lot of CD activity there. Also, sign up for the Keystone Conference next March in Harrisburg, PA where you get to hang out with 100’s of CD’s.
Hi, Fiona. Thanks for your reply.
New Hope is quite a drive and I don’t drive at night. Don’t suppose there is much CD activity during the day. I was there once in the day maybe twenty years ago and did not notice any but then I was not looking back then
I would love to go to Keystone but we are in Florida when it happens. They should have another one in the Fall!
Best, Marlene.
I had never dressed or even seen a crossdresser until I attended my first Tri-Ess meeting in 2009. I thought it was a one-time venture to satisfy my curiosity, but I was immediately drawn to all of the members… both CDs and their spouses/SOs… the most life-changing event of my life… so joined immediately. I served as outreach chair for 6 years and am now national chair. The group offers support, confidentiality, freedom to explore one’s fem side with others and lots of fun events. Recently I went on a one-week cruise with 20 CDs and partners, dressing full-time from the moment I left home until I returned. It is so much more fun going out in the company of others. There are always new and exciting ways to push the envelope. During the cruise I risked such things as sliding down a water slide (an instant makeup remover) and trying zip-lining (refused because I was discriminated against, having no pants or T-shirt to wear as required by the male-dominated directors!)
I get out in the Southeast, primarily, hosting dinners and lecturing to university classes interested in learning more about who we are, but am willing to try to direct others to groups near them, wherever they may be.
If any have interest, I will be hosting a dinner near Atlanta on Thursday, Dec. 15 for CDs, their wives/SOs and/or other allies. I hope to glam up with others to attend a gala performance of the Nutcracker Ballet the next eve, attend a matinee performance of the Christmas Carol at Shakespeare Theater on Saturday, a Christmas party for CDs and their wives/SOs that night, and an MCC service Sunday. PM me if interested in joining me for any of those events or if you’d like my help in trying to locate a group near you or, better yet, help you start a group of your own.
I never go out alone, nor do I tend to gravitate toward bars or gay venues. I find it much more enjoyable to accompany/support other CDs and/or accepting cis-women in doing fun activities, or perhaps attending a truly accepting/supportive MCC service which is not only welcoming but provides changing rooms for those in need. I especially enjoy helping someone new take those frightening but immensely exciting first steps out the door and watching their femme side spring into bloom.
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If you get a chance. Glam it up. In a group like that it’s an ‘I’m like you’ badge.
I drove 3 hours to my only outing so far. I went solo, dressed from start to finish. It was great.
It’s way better than any FaceTime interaction. It was surprising how different the personalities were as I interacted with more than half of the attendees. You will find that while we appreciate each other’s similarities we choose close friends based on more personal details.
While you stretch to present as your prettiest self, go even farther and be as outgoing and friendly as you can muster. It will be appreciated and reciprocated. It’s a nice feminine trait.
I stumbled across my outing in OKC but I’m not aware of dates or times for anything within a 3 hour radius.
I wish members would share events when they are aware of them.Ok, here is an event…
I will host a dinner tomorrow 7:30 pm at Bahama Breeze, Duluth, GA, just east of I-85 and north of Atlanta. It will be a small friendly gathering.. usually about 10 crossdressers, wives, and SOs. Dressing optional. Confidentiality required. Friday eve is a chance to glam up at a performance of Frankie Vallie and the 4 Seasons at Cobb Energy Center. There is a support group meeting Saturday morning for CDs, wives, and SOs, in a hotel in the area and activities during the day and eve. If any have interest, PM me or reply to this note.
Thanks T.J. I love the road sign in our community which points the direction to Alaska. Actually we get shoppers from Alaska visiting us as we are the first city on their way south with cheaper prices and the lowest sales tax, saving them an additional 5 hour drive and a bunch of money.
Thank goodness I like cool temperatures. Our average summer high temperature so far has been around 66 degrees. Take care!!!! Hugs, Krista
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