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Hello Ladies,
I am looking for your insights and direction. Hoping this is not a downer for anybody, but need to share with you. My male self has been diagnosed with stage 3 prostate cancer. Gleason score 9. CT, Bone Scan, PET and MRI, done. Gone through the Urology Surgeon, who wants to remove the offending organ. But the Radiology Oncologist says that she (yes, she) can kill off the prostate with a 28 session treatment, 5 days/week for @ 6 weeks. followed by Hormone Therapy. The Hormone Therapy is interesting as it is anti-androgen drugs to remove/negate the testosterone being produced by my male self. Same drug as one would take who is transitioning, I think, with all the same pros and cons that come with it. Mood swings, loss of and/or thinning of body hair, increase in body fat, etc. All for an estimated 2 years.
So, I looking for insights , thoughts, information and ideas from all of you, especially any of you Ladies who may have already undergone this treatment.
I might add,…my wife and I are very together on facing this. After our initial shock and surprise, we have accepted the news, shared with our 8 kids, and have actually added laughter. So, mentally we are strong, but physically we have a road ahead of us. We fully expect our love for each other and our faith in God and our Doctors, will lead to a positive conclusion.
Thanks for listening and providing any insights.
Hugs,
Abby
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I’m so sorry to hear of your issues and wish you the best outcome possible.
I haven’t had prostrate cancer so I can’t give you specific advice but if it were me I would opt for surgery instead of going through two years of sickness.
Hey Michelle, You are a friend! Thank you for your support. I will post more as things progress. Have a Nice weekend. Abby
Sorry to hear about prostate cancer, I think that it’s what we all fear.
It’s hard to give a valid advice on a journey you haven’t had yourself and as long as you don’t know all the precise details.
Hope everything goes well, all my best wishes for you and your family
sent a PM
Hi Clarrisa, Thank you for all your feedback. With your permission, I will send you a private message. Have a great weekend. Abby
I’m so sorry to hear about your situation Abby. Our family has had several ongoing bouts with cancer over the years and I truly understand your feelings. While prostate cancer is not our family’s style we do share the weight that this disease puts on a family. Our current run is now going on 7 years and after the initial shock of the diagnosis the only thing that our family has all taken away from this is to really enjoy every moment of life. Chemo and radiation can be real taxing but so can surgery, It seems that you and your family have a good plan in place so I wish you all the success in the world. Incidentally, most of my doctors are female too. Marg
Hey Marg, Thank you for your insights. I think my wife and I have decided on a path forward, which, ironically, will advance my female side while moving my male side more to the background. I plan on giving updates as things move forward. I am sending you a friend request. Have a great weekend. Abby
I’m very sorry to hear about this, but I’m glad you have strong support and good humor. I pray for your recovery in the way you want. Which is why I bring this up, this is exactly the situation where I spoke with my wife and told her I would jump in for a full transition. Is your wife open to that?
Hi Vecca, Thank you for your inspiration. I know I am not the first to have ever gone through this. It is interesting, that even though we know how serious this health issue is, the gold lining could be that my female persona may be able to evolve. I have already asked my wife if she is ready for a new “girlfriend”. She smiled. As the hormones take effect, the body will be changing and with it, my wardrobe and actions. Who would have thought that it would take this to move forward? I will do updates as things progress. Have a great weekend! Abby
Abby –
Sorry to hear of your diagnosis. My father had prostate cancer, had surgery, radiation and hormone therapy which all worked for him. He did have some issues with incontinence, we weren’t close enough for me to know if he had ED issues, both of which can be side effects of prostate treatment. It sounds like you have discussed your treatment options with your physician, wife and family and all are in agreement that this is the way forward.
It is nice to hear that you have a supportive wife and family going forward and that you are able to add some humor to the situation.
Best of luck with your treatment and a speedy recovery.
XOXO
SuzanneHi Suzanne, Thank you for your support. We are strongly leaning toward the Radiology w/Hormone Therapy. Final discussion before we proceed is next Thursday. Even my wife is getting prepared to have a new girlfriend. I have sent you a friend request. Please accept. Big Hug. Abby
Hi Lauren, Thanks for your support. Abby
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Praying for you Abby! Weigh all side effects of both treatments, how long they take and the mortality rate for both. Find a support group and ask questions about each procedure…that way you will be informed and ready to face your future.
Sandy
I read an interesting article that the majority of prostrate operations are unnecessary, and cause more complications then they solve.
I’m not sure how old you are, but I suspect your mid 50s to 60s. (With 8 kids.)
The article mentioned that the majority of prostrate cancers are slow,and you can enjoy quality of life until an old age. An operation may extend your life, but at what expense of quality.
Ultimately its your decision ( family and God.) May God grant you all wisdom in how to move forward.
On a personal note. Cancers thrive on sugar. There is good research currently been done on the keto and carnivore diet in the treatment of early stages of cancer with great success.
Abby,
Sorry to hear that you have cancer period. As a former stage 4 cancer patient I will only speak to your radiology treatments. I had two weeks of chemotherapy over lapping 40 sessions of radiation for 5 days a week for 8 weeks. It wasn’t fun to say the least. What I had wasn’t operable. It was a nasty SoB! Anyway after enduring all the treatments and all the pain and suffering that goes along with it. (Which I won’t describe openly.) I still had cancer that need to be remove. The treatments I took, with chemo and radiation, I wish I could forget them. The doctor told us that the treatments only got 50-65% of the cancer, some areas weren’t effected by the treatments. The news that the cancer was not gone was heart breaking for all of the family.The oncologist offered me another series of treatments, after a cooling down period from the radiation. We said NO, He then offered me a 2nd option, which I qualified for. I went on to two years of Keytruda IV. once every 3 weeks I sat in the chair for 2 hours for the infusion. That got rid of the rest. Until about the 3 months left to go and a new area popped up away from the original area. 5 days of intense radiation got rid of it all, that was 3 years ago. Since then all clean scans.
For me, if my doctor had told me I could have an operation and by pass the other treatments I would have jumped on it. Even knowing what it would do to me. Radiation 5 days a week I’ll be harsh, if your not having any chemo that does make it better.
Yours is a hard choice for anyone to make. I wish you the best of luck in what ever you choose to do. I be praying for you.
Hi Abby
Like all the others responding to your article I am sorry for your situation and wish you all the best, whatever decision you may make. It is very comforting for you to have the support of your family at this time, and whatever decision you make, I am sure they will be there for you.
I look forward to hearing of your progress as this is a situation that so many of us will likely encounter in same form. And the question that we all face, whether it be for cancer, or just an enlarged prostate, is operate or medication (or radiation if cancer). An older friend of mine had an enlarged prostate (the dreaded night runs to the loo) and his doctor put him in medication (most likely the anti-androgens). Well very soon he was back to the doctor asking for a surgical solution. He could not handle the fact that he was growing boobs!!! How strange that for us gurls that at times may seem a blessing and dream come true. And that is not to diminish the seriousness of your condition, but rather to say what a topsy turvy world we live in.
I wish you all the best Abby, and hope for your speedy recovery..
big hugs Stephie XOXOX
Abby,
I only offer you my prayers for a return to good health. Like the rest of the girls here have mentioned, I’m thankful you have a large supporting family.
It’s nice to hear that you and your wife can have a strong relationship. Does she know about Michelle?Much love,
Raquel
I was diagnosed three years ago stage 2, Gleason score 6. Needle biopsy showed cancer cells in 9 of 12 sampled sites.i had Robot assisted laproscopic surgery at What at the time was Florida Hospital, Celebration Florida. My cancer had not spread beyond my prostate and my PSA scores after 3 years continue to be below the detectable floor. A previous comment said that MOST prostate surgeries were unsuccessful. I dont know where that data came from but my research shows the type of surgery I had is highly effective. My incisions were all sealed with super glue which worked great. I had ZERO infection. Was up and around within 5 hours of surgery. The most unpleasant aspect was the catheter I had for a few days, and the pain from thd residual inflation my body had to absorb.
Questions- let me know
Dr. Vipul Patel
https://www.adventhealth.com/find-doctor/doctor/vipul-patel-md-1942259908https://urology.ufl.edu/wordpress/files/2012/08/index_clip_image002.jpg
https://i.ytimg.com/vi/C2v-CQHdtFg/maxresdefault.jpg
My I.V. Pump was talking to me the night after the surgery. Said
“Burnt offerings,” and, “Go to war.”
Personally, I would go with the surgery. I am not a fan of radiation treatments.
A good friend had prostate cancer about ten years ago, had surgery, no lasting side affects.
My dad just got through radiation treatments for prostrate cancer and his bone marrow has stopped producing red a white blood cells and his platelet count is very poor too.
Of course the doctors disagree, but some comment it from the radiology, some so no. Look it up on the internet and there is quite a bit of information of side effects of radiation treatments. My dad goes in weekly for blood transfusions, yes weekly!
Hi Abby
In the UK the prorate is not removed during GRS due to the sid effects such as possible urinary problems and damage to nerves.
Treatment of your condition may be looked at in 2 ways. Firstly having Radiotherapy and oncology treatment to gauge the response, and if unsuccessful go for surgery at that point. (However Surgical removal is not common in the UK so I dont have much experience or hands on information on this treatment option – but the link below has some in-depth explanations for you to read)
The below link is to the UK prostate health site with lots of good evidence based information which I hope will help you make an informed decision on your treatment options.
Hugs
Dawn
Hello Ladies,
I hope you all had great weekends!
Let’s call this “Update #1”. The Magical Medical tour continues this week, but picking up steam. 1) Today, Tuesday, had a Covid test so I can have a lung biopsy on Thursday, since they found a couple nodules on my lungs from the CT last week. 2) Wednesday, a new PET scan is scheduled, to get an updated look at everything before we proceed; 3) Thursday, lung biopsy; 4) Meeting with Radiology Oncologist, supposedly to finalize the plan to proceed with 28 treatments (5 days/week for @ 6 weeks) In conjunction with Hormone therapy, and all that that entails. 5) Next week, start radiation and hormones. 6) 6/8/2022, Urology surgeon still wants to see us to wrap up.
Whew, and we are 5 months in to the process and a long way to go.
MANY questions about our choice to go radiation vs. surgery. In a nutshell, it was determined by how far along I am. The cancer is no longer encapsulated which now makes it a better option to radiate everything.
Thank you all for your thoughts, prayers and insights, including your personal experiences. You can only imagine how much I appreciate everything.
My plan is to try to post updates only as things occur. I don’t want to burden anybody with my situation, but many have asked to be kept informed.
Otherwise, I plan on using the CDH site as usual, reading, learning and enjoying all of your escapades.
Thank you all. Keep smiling!
Abby XOXOXO
Abby
I want to wish you the best of luck with your upcoming procedures. I somewhat know what about your worries.
I was diagnosed with Prostate cancer two years ago but my cancer is the slowest growing type. After two biopsies, a DNA test and an MRI I’m on active surveillance and get tested twice a year. But I had all the worries about surgery , radiation and all the side effects. Which I may end up dealing with down the road. It’s still on my mind almost daily.
you have a lot of girlfriends here who will be thinking about you!
wishing you the bestNatalie 💋💋💋
Thanks Natalie, I really appreciate all the support. Talk soon!
Abby XOXO
I’m in the same boat. 2x year check up!
Abby. Send you positive thoughts, energy and prayers! You got this. Beat the crap out of it ! Hugs. Carole
Hey Carole, Thanks for the nice words. Sounds like we are in this together. Finally, this week, I should be able to move forward. Really interested to see what the Hormone Therapy will do for me. My understanding is I lose the “boys” and everything shrinks, leaving me with, for all intents, a clit. The breasts swell and grow. I am growing out my hair. My wife is in for mani/pedis. Skin softening, body hair loss…. a lot of positives to look forward to. We will see everything plays out.
We’ll talk soon.
Abby XOXOXO
Hi Abby… thanks so much for your frankness!
I, myself have just had prostate surgery to remove a 13 year old problem and the end result has been a life changer for me. I will say that there was no cancer attached there or otherwise so I shall not comment on that as your problems are not mine.
If you have ever thought of life as a woman maybe the timing is ripe for a new direction for you and your wife. Is she supportive of your crossdressing? If so then go the HRT route. You have no need of your reproductive system with eight children so why not? 🤔 I don’t mean for you to get cut or anything!
I wish you and your family all the very best!
Bon chance, Polly 🌸🌼🌺
Hi Abby. I was in a the same place several years ago. The ten year survival rates in my case made the decision for removal easy. My doctor did not suggest hormones in my case. Personaly and I know we are all different but I would welcome the chance to start feminizing without needing a excuse. I would probably take estrogen at the same time. This is a very personal decision. I guess only you and your wife can decide what is best for you. It is a personal decision but I would use it as a opportunity. I hope your other tests go well. Best of luck. I should also tell you that my boy parts work like crap after the surgery. Best of luck and prayers.
Hey Michelle, Thanks for the note. As you know, circumstances dictate the best direction to choose. It just so happens that my Docs , my wife and I all agree to proceed with Radiology and Hormones. If the results take me down the path to femininity, all the better. I am writing to you as I am in the middle of a PET scan prep. The magical medical tour continues…. Hope to talk to you again soon. Abby XOXO
Hi Abby, so sorry you are dealing with this! I was diagnosed just before I turned 40. The urologist that did the biopsy suggested a testosterone blocker to keep the cancer at a manageable level until surgery could be done. We were trying for kid #2 (which is how it was caught) I was stage 4 but only 6 (I think) on Gleason. I wanted to try IVF so I turned down the hormones and found the best surgeon in the Southeast at the time. The surgery was done about two months later (me “banking sperm during that time) and had the surgery 2 weeks before my 40th birthday. It was successful, no radiation or chemo. The organ looked perfectly healthy outside, but would have gotten a tumor very shortly without the surgery.
Looking back, if I knew what I know now, I woud have told my wife about my secret feminine side and started the hormones after a short stint of banking. – multiple rounds of IVF were unsuccessful, BTW. I could have transitioned in my forties instead of my sixties and had 20 years of a happier life. Not to say the time with my wife and daughter weren’t, but I was wracked with what I know now is gender dysphoria and wasn’t very present for them anyway.
If you have plans to transition, this might be the opening to begin. The T-blocker won’t do very much at all without the estrogen boost. The doctor may recommend a very low dose of that or progesterone to keep you from hormonal imbalance. Expect to lose sex drive and your guys may shrink. If they put you on spironolactone, you have to modufy your diet to cut out all high-potassium foods – spinach, potatoes, nuts, beer, wine, yogurt, raisins, bananas to name a few.
If you opt for the surgery, it is a nreve-sparing procedure when done properly. I regained most of my “ability” not all, but there were other stressors in play. I was continent after the initial catheter was removed, and I reusmed most of my daily activities after a few weeks. Note: removing the prostate results in no sperm production and dry orgasms – maybe a plus? But it doesn’t reduce your testosterone blood levels.
Feel free to PM me if you want to chat. My broither got radiation “seeds” implanted, but I don’t know all he dealth with on that. He was 60 and surgery wasn’t as urgent as my case. We also have a Prostate Cancer support group here, if you are interested.
Hugs,
Brie
Hi Abby! So nice to meet you. Your last paragraph says it all for anyone going through difficult times. You have a very close relationship with your wife and God. I am a firm believer that your personal faith and having the love and support of all those closest to you in life increases the likelihood of overcoming any life obstacles 100%. Yes, please keep us informed of your progress. You know you have a lot of support here as well.
Hugs, Rochelle
Hey Rochelle, Thank you for all the loving support. It is nice to be supported by people you have never met, but many who have gone through it and others who are just loving. Have a terrific weekend!
Abby XOXOXO
Hello You Beautiful Ladies,
I know I said I would give regular updates on my Prostate Cancer. This will be short and sweet, but will call it update #2.
The past week, Covid Test (negative), PET Scan, head to toe; yesterday, Lung Biopsy , because of what was found last week on a CT. So here we go.
PET showed “legs” from the Prostate to the lungs AND to bone on my right hip, (left is ouchy, too.) Lung Biopsy was under General anesthesia, but went fine (good drugs, sleepy time). Went home, had soup and went to bed.
@ 9:00 PM, the Radiology Oncologist called to tell me she has seen the results, very aggressive, and she wants to treat it very aggressively. Anti-Androgens to destroy testosterone and Estrogens (several). Radiation will destroy the Prostate and the Lung nodules and the C attached to the bone.
My wife and I have another Tele-med conference with her tonight, probably to set up the schedule to start, hopefully Monday.
Attitudes are good. Everyone is confident. Abby is ready to Blossom and Bloom. Except for the cause, actually looking forward to it. Hope you all can relate.
Wishing all you Ladies a wonderful weekend. Talk again soon. Love you all!
Abby XOXOXO
Abby –
Thank you so much for the update. Sorry to hear it is an aggressive cancer, but sounds like your oncologist is going to be just as aggressive in dealing with it. It sucks that ti metastecized to the lung and bone. From what you said it sounds like the treatment will take care of it. Best of luck with your treatment regimen. A positive attitude is important and you have a loving family to support you. As you said Abby is getting ready to Blossom and Bloom, not quite the way anyone would want to do that but it is something positive.
Prayers for a quick recovery.
XOXO
SuzanneHi Abby, it sounds great that your doctors are so confident that they can knock out all the “hot spots”. Any way that testosterone can be flushed, they will do, sounds like. It may be they’ll want the orchi after you’ve recovered from the other procedures. Might depend on the results. I am so heartened to hear the positive updates and know you are in good hands – with both the docs and your loving wife.
Hugs,
Brie
Good Afternoon to all you Gorgeous Ladies, Here is another update. Yesterday was a BIG day!. Saw the Surgeon in charge and he presented us with a “Clinical Study” which currently has no results. After hearing him out and listening to our options, my wife and I opted to start our Radiology treatments and Hormone Therapy. So here are the specifics: 1) Got a shot of Lupron which will be good for 6 months (no turning back now). This will cause the medical castration and bottom out all testosterone being produced. 2) He has prescribed Prednisone in combination with Abiraterone (Zytiga). He wants to monitor and see how the body reacts. 3) The Radiology Oncologist has scheduled my mappings and measurements for tomorrow with treatments starting Monday to zap the prostate, lungs and bone.
So, after over 5 months, we have finally gone on the attack. A little achy from the shot, but hopefully that will get better. We, my wife and I, are on our way to a new life…and lifestyle.
Many of you ask how she is handling everything. Well…let me share. As far as I know, she does not have any idea or given any indication that she suspects my innermost desires. Like most of us, I have been reluctant to risk my great marriage by opening up to her, so I keep it hidden and inside. But over this journey we have many conversations about what is coming. We but know, clearly, that the “boys” are gone. We both accept that the “girls” will start to bud and grow. Hot flashes, mood changes, body hair thinning, skin softening, etc. are all coming and expected. She is fully on board with all of it.
To emphasize that, I offer two incidents. 1) After our appointment yesterday, we went to dinner. At dinner, SHE brought up, “What are my concerns?” I brought up the usual things we talk about. She listened and finally said “I Love you, no matter what! If you need a bra, I will get them for you, if you want. Whatever, you need or want, I will support it. As your body changes, I know that YOU are still YOU. ” Pretty powerful statement. Maybe she does know…. 2) I had to fast before my blood work this morning, so she packed me a snack. When I opened the snack later in the car, there was a note that simply said “I (heart) U, Always and Forever.” Again, in my opinion, she is telling me that she is in 100% with my treatments and my changes. Am I missing something?
So, the journey continues. I appreciate more than you know the support from all of you Beautiful Ladies. Thank you.
Have a great weekend! Talk to so all soon.
Abby XOXOXO
Abby, I cannot provide any insight on this. But I do wish you all the best and a speedy and full recovery!
That’s all that matters, Dear.
Love, Hugs and all the best thoughts and wishes for you.
R
Hi Rebekka, Thanks you for all the thoughts and support. They all mean so much. Talk soon. Abby. XOXO
I was diagnosed with prostate cancer 18 months ago. I have had a biopsy which showed 2 areas of the prostate with cancer. My recent PSA was 4.9 and I just had a MRI of the prostate which showed a lesion. At this point My Doctor recommend to have another PSA in four months and keep monitoring it. Hormone therapy does sound like an intriguing option and something I may consider it I get to that point. Best of Luck to you
Hi Stephanie, My thoughts and prayers are with you as you follow your journey through this medical jungle. Stay in touch!
Abby XOXO
Abby,
I Just chatted with a friend of mine from South Florida. It was discovered in September he had prostate cancer. When all the preliminary visits were done he was scheduled for a December 7th operation. It was a robotic operation done with a de Vinci system by Intuitive. All was successful and he was back to work in January. He said the system is very good at nerve sparing. No chemo, no radiation and so far no complications.
Just thought I would pass this along to you.Hey Lisa, You are right, it seems there are always new clinical tests and trials going on, and many are great. Oftentimes, it depends upon each persons individual status. My case is very advanced and aggressive. The Oncologist is ready to get started and says she can get it all, prostate, bone and lungs. Should be starting probably next Monday. Mixed emotions. Excited to start a new life. Abby is ready to blossom and bloom. Expecting some discomfort along the way, but, we all have something to deal with.
Thanks for the info. We’ll talk soon.
Abby XOXO
Abby, Sorry to hear of your diagnosis.I just finnished radiation treatments for 28 days,for my cancer.Two months before that,they put you on hormone theropy.Three shots,one every 6 months. I didn’t have too many effects of it.Hot flashes,tiredness,and loss of sleep,was all i got.They list all the effect,you could get,but seldom do.I had a 4×4 gleason,still in capsule of the prostate.I considered surgery,but then your sex life is most likely over.There are exceptions.As of now I feel great,still a little tired at times,no restrictions,can do anything i like.I like to tell you,I also did strengthening exercise with rubberbands every other day,to stop muscle loss,and it worked..Still waiting for final diagnosis,but Doc. says looks very good,probable cure. With radiation,you mayhave diarrhea,but cleared with some diet changes.You can do anything you usually do,even sex during radiation,with no harm to you or your partner.So this I my story,I hope you cure this,and Good Luck to you
ConnieHi Abby,
Keep that great positive attitude. That is a big plus! I wish you and your family the best, and will put you in my prayers.
Lara
Thanks, Lara, always appreciated.
Abby XOXO
I really do not know how to respond to such news. Words seem inadequate to convey sufficient sympathy for the trauma of these situations. I can only offer some modicum of empathy with sincere wishes for the best outcome possible.
I see a lot of what appears to be quack, snake-oil remedies on-line and would advise proceeding cautiously with the best information available even when dealing with authorized professionals.
Using testosterone blockers can produce massive and unexpected changes in emotions so be conscious of potential effects such as crying jags for no explicable reason.
Araminta.
Hi Abby,
Thank you for sharing with us. I know it is always good to write your thoughts on paper, At least for me it is. Not that I am a doctor but I was wondering why he did not suggest an Orchiectomy. I have read that is one way to reduce the amount of Testosterone in your system permanently. I have heard of other men doing this when they have had prostate cancer.
I hope everything goes well and you are feeling better soon.
Yael,
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