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Ladies,
I’m very curious if you would be intimate with your wife or SO if the tables were turned. Would you be intimate with her if she grew out her body hair, cut her hair short, and presented as male?No. And I totally understand why she wouldn’t either with me as a woman.
Interesting question!
My endocrinologist tells me that I am basically a lesbian, I identify as female but am still sexually interested in females SO. If you are asking if in the beginning then probably no. But after 26 years of marriage and as supportive as she had been of me h..l YES. And any way she has never groomed her body hair. So I guess that rather gives the lie to my first response even initially I was attracted to her. So I have to say a big YES to that question.
I have to ask… What would make an endo be a good source to determine your own sexuality?
This is interesting. My wife hasn’t grown her leg hair or anything like that, but she has adopted some more masculine traits. Her bras are white or gray stretchy sports bras and her underwear is stretchy boxer style also in white or grey. She sleeps in a regular t-shirt. This is in contrast to my lace panties, underwire bras and silky nightgowns. She wears minimal makeup, no earrings, short unpainted nails and a simple hairstyle shorter than my wigs, and dresses everyday for work in a polo, pants, socks and sneakers vs. me in a dress, hose and heels with full makeup, jewelry and nails. She also regularly refers to me as her wife, and takes the male role in the bedroom. So, while she isn’t really a CD or TG, she is much more masculine and dominant and yes, I love her, am attracted to her and I enjoy intimacy with her.
Betty, this is a tough one and would depend on the circumstances and reasons.
The 2 you have listed, body hair and short hair cut, aren’t entirely features of masculinity, and presenting as man wouldn’t be bad I guess if we were doing it for kink.
However, if she was unhappy with what makes her a female, and took steps to present herself as a man, vs. a tomboy or what have you, grew a mustache or a beard, I personally wouldn’t find that attractive.
I love the feminine form. I find femininity extremely attractive in a woman who knows her femininity… tiny lacey underwear, cute bras, earrings, makeup, perfume, walking and acting like a feminine woman, a girly girl.
I would have to say, yes. I feel that I could see through it and see the woman I fell in love with. She has amazing eyes, smile, voice and heart that everything else seems to be secondary. When we first met she was basic in her feminine style of dress and presentation. As the dating years and early marriage years progressed she upped her game and wanted to present more sexy and feminine. When our kids came along she simplified her life again reverted back to her old style and even beyond. She now actually wears many of my T-shirt’s, shorts, hoodies and sweat pants in addition to her own golf shirts, men’s styles jeans and no make up. Unfortunately now, we pretty much have the same style…mine. I’m not happy about it but if that’s what she likes and it makes her happy so be it. She has cut her hair short on occasion, much to my dismay, but hair grows back if desired. Once again, I love her for her.
I’ve only ever shaved my body hair once or grown my hair out a little bit. She didn’t like it so I’ve never done them again. Over the years I’ve tried items that are meant to physically present as “feminine” (hip pads, breast forms, bras, wig etc) but she told me that she thinks that they are really weird and extreme even though she’s never seen them. So I basically put them in a box to collect dust. For me now it’s just about the clothes, not presenting as a woman and continuing with our DADT situation.
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Yes I would but I’ve always known I was bisexual. In reality the wife would never do it.
My wife is a 1970’s girl. So, no grooming of body hair. As we are entering our sixth decade we both have short thinning hair on our heads, and unwanted hair sprouting from places we never imagined that hair would sprout. If that girl came to bed right now wanting some intimacy, just leave those cows out in the pasture! I wouldn’t want them ever to come home! Yes even if she started presenting as a male.
Lara xoxo
Lara,
I had not considered that about the different generations. My generation is pretty firm in shaving, waxing, tweezing, or lasering off any and all body hair. I’ve lasered off everything except a small area downtown that I shape differently from time to time to keep it interesting for my husband.
Thanks for your feedback,
Betty
Does this also mean that she will be the main bread winner for the family so I can stay home and maintain a nice clean home?
I would be ok with it. After so many years of me learning that I am different and that it is ok to be different and not fit in the box that society says we must stay in.
Nope, just wondering about reciprocity in the bedroom 🙂
I’m not sure if this is exactly what you are asking for in an answer, but here goes. My wife took on the daunting task (against my strong urging) to renovate a house. In reality, this decision on her part and my giving in to her desires (one of many that proved disastrous) started me down this path of CDing. Honestly! Why is that important? I wasn’t coming home to a meal on the table or at least soon to be and wife and family, I was coming home to a female variant of Bob Vila. Meaning I was to come up with dinner. Feed the kids. While she had all sorts of building materials dusting her hair, cuts all over her legs and arms, and if she wasn’t too tired for intimacy – I was getting in bed with a woman with VERY calloused hands. Get the picture? Add the fact that I probably only saw her in a dress was the wedding of two of our kids.
She was never going to grow facial hair, but she wasn’t keeping up with the leg and armpit hair. To put my reply in terms that might be understood, but not get me censored: she would have to grow more than leg and facial hair!
Interesting question. I have to say generally no. Speaking for myself, part of the appeal to dressing for me is the attraction to femininity. The male form does nothing for me and quite honestly a lot of it is gross, lol. Things like my wife not shaving for a few weeks or not wearing makeup and such doesn’t really bother me, but she maintains her femininity otherwise. I wouldn’t be attracted to an outward male appearance from her as it’s my attraction to femininity and women that inspires my dressing. I want to be clear and say I’m not dressing to replace anything she might not do or wear or whatever. I’ll try to convey this without sounding creepy and it sounds odd, but I’m so attracted to femininity and women that I want to experience it. Call it experience the feminine mystique maybe. That ends up turning into femininity multiplied by 100 with the lengths I go to create the curves I want on top of the shaving and everything else. I would say when I do dress it’s difficult for me to go halfway. I liken it to maybe a GG getting ready for prom or a wedding or something similar. A little bit of self pampering involved I suppose.
From my wife’s perspective on my dressing she knows and is relatively supportive, but doesn’t participate, and it’s not something she’s attracted to and that’s fine. It would be nice if it was the other way but it’s not something I need or expect from her. Her support is the main thing I need, anything on top of that is gravy.RachelAnn,
Thank you for your honest answer. The part where you refer to the male form as “gross” made me laugh. While I appreciate the beauty in women, it does absolutely nothing for me sexually and in that regard, I find women “gross.” The things that make a man gross for you are the opposite for me. I love the shape, the smell, the hair, the muscles, everything about a man is delightful to me. Men are so attractive that I wonder from time to time how every man isn’t gay. My husband hates facial hair and body hair but I love it. I love the way he smells after working up a sweat. I love that he is bigger than me and stronger than me. I love his broad shoulders, the way his arms are built, and the pecs that he sports. There is something so intoxicating about the male form and pheromones, it drives me crazy. I think my love of men is an obstacle to my understanding of his need to dress. How does he not spend his day thinking about what a sexy man he is when everything about him makes my cat purr?Thanks,
Betty“Men are so attractive that I wonder from time to time how every man isn’t gay “
Haha, I’ve thought the same thing about women. They are so amazing and beautiful I would occasionally think why every women isn’t a lesbian or at least bi. Someone once asked me that if I did transition what sex would I be attracted? Women of course. I guess that would make me a lesbian.
My husband is a very dedicated lesbian also.
My wife grew up in a tough family environment… (put it this way. I would castrate the grandfather if he was still alive.)
She works in a tough blokey environment where overt feminity isn’t encouraged.
On our farm jeans and shirts and boots are more practical. And she wears minimal makeup.
But time to time she / we love to doll up. Me in a suit and tie. She in dress and makeup.
Apart from occasional light makeup, and polished toes. (We go for pedicures together.) I don’t dress around her. I like being her man.
(For whatever reason in private, I like dressing enfemme.)
If my SO came to me and told me she was going to do things you described, if we had a truely great loving relationship before I would give it a try to make her happy. I would keep aware though of any situation that might come up that would make either of us uncomfortable (or worse). letting her know when she had gone to far. As long as we keep good communication between us it could work.
. Cassie
Betty, I’d be supportive and would be intimate on all but the body hair part. Body hair just isn’t appealing to me. But if my partner wanted to present as male in other ways and be intimate while I’m en femme, I say, when in Rome….I think it could be an interesting twist that has potential to be fun. Now I don’t know if it would just be a one time experiment or long term but yes I’d give it a shot and have fun with it.
I have read about many lives of transwomen. Many were married and their wives left them after they came out. I wondered about the reverse. Would the husband stay if the wife wanted to become a man? This thread reminds me of that thought.
I do not find other men attractive, but I would try and explore if that was my SO’s desire.
Mind=blown. What a great question! I’ve told my husband I don’t know that I would stay in the relationship if he transitioned but truth be told I love him so much I don’t think I could live without him.
Hi Betty, actually if she came out a a female CD, I think I would love it. I would find it very exciting if she was dressed as a man and I was dressed as a women every so often. Especially if we were intimate as well on occasion. But even if I was not a CD and she came out as a CD I know I would be a lot more accepting and supportive than she is with me. Thanks for the post.
Love,
Trish
Really interesting question and useful in reflecting on how amazing your partner is for accepting you after coming out to them.
I think it would simply come down to whether we still felt a sexual attraction and yearned to cuddle, be intimate and still be proud to call her my partner. Very hard to know for sure but I love my wife for who she is and if she did not change her personality then I think I would be fine with her CDing. I was attracted to her as she was a very pretty tomboy, good at sports, stronger than the average woman but could also be so pretty, feminine and cute too. She has always liked more masculine clothes but also enjoys being feminine but not really girly, just how I like. We both dislike body hair and I would find that a bit off-putting, but who knows?
Diversity is a wonderful and exciting thing!
My SO is a tomboy. We’ve even talked about doing a hand fasting ceremony with me in a dress and her in a tux. And I think she’d look amazing in a tux!
I’d still love her with short hair, and she’d probably have a fro if she cut it short. She dislikes body hair as much I do, we’ve been through some rough times where she didn’t shave as much. Still loved her and cuddled her.
This is a fair question. Goes to show how lucky you are if you’re SO accepts cross dressing.
Xoxo,
Dani
Betty,
I would think that here on CDH the “yes” answer would be considerably higher than the general public (understatement of the year). Many of us, not all, feel as if we have a feminine side to our personality and some of those that do, not all, admit to at least fantasizing about being with a man.So the likelihood that we would accept our wives if they wanted to crossdress FTM, and even be okay with (or enjoy) being intimate, is not a surprise.
Much love,
Raquel
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