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Hi
I live in the UK and have been crossdressing since my teens.
Now on my 60’s.
Stopped crossdressing when I married but started again about 10 years ago putting on my wife’s panties and dresses.
Started buying my own lingerie but after a couple of weeks would stop and through everything away.
I think I am a secret crossdresser my wife hasn’t said anything although she has found some panties lying about I just say they’re not mine.
Joined CdH 6 weeks ago after seeing the site online at beginning of year.
I have since joining bought 3LBD,2 skirts 20pairs of panties,2bras tops tights and hold ups.
I feel a lot happier now I can talk to other girls,and more confident.
This week I went outside as Helena only to recycling in back garden,but it was a first.
Don’t have wig, makeup or accessories.
Does the urge/desire to crossdress go away.
It hasn’t to Helena yet.
I hope Helena stays a part of my life for a bit longer enjoying having her around and being one of the girls.
Love
Helena
Does the urge/desire to be Sandy go away…for me No. I find it is growing stronger as I get older. It was something I hid while married but now divorced for over 14 years it came back stronger than ever. I love wearing feminine beautiful clothes. I find that I’m calmer and happier when I slip on a skirt or dress. I’m happier being Sandy than my alter ego male self.
Sandy
Warm welcome too you Helena.
The answer is no on the love of dressing, at any time. The thrill of flying enfemme or catching some other transport.
The range and style of clothing means anytime is a great time.
Now there is more acceptance getting around is a little easier.
You know this so a big welcome and continue to live life.
Best Wishes
JaneHi Helena,
Welcome to cdh. You’ve found a safe and friendly place to be. And it makes such a difference to know you aren’t alone.
Does cross dressing go away? I think the simple answer is no. It may ‘go away’ for a while, but also comes back, it would seem.
There’s been periods in my life when I haven’t really felt the urge while also knowing it’s not gone away. It took quite a while to accept it’s just a part of me. I’m not sure I could or would want to ratchet back these days. I feel better for it.
Marti xxx
I am now in my 6th decade of crossdressing and still love it. I have underdressed just about everywhere and dress en femme when possible. I went through a medically induced coma and wondered if I would be different after. Well I was, I began dressing more. Now I am a senior and will continue to express my female side.
The only time it goes away is when one shoves it deep down in the closet and locks the door… Eventually the lock breaks and one finds themselves in pretty panties and a dress or whatever it is one wears.
So… no one’s gonna talk about your wife finding panties and you saying they’re not yours? A lady knows her panties, so if she finds them and knows they’re not her panties, and you say they are not yours… well that doesn’t equate well.
Hi Helena nice to meet you and as these other wonderful ladies have said it will never go away its the pink fog girlfriend .. Its in your heart and sole so girl dont purge it just gets so expensive and you loose some pretty cute dresses in the process .. If that erge hits just pack them away for another foggy day he he .. As for the wife finding panties girl she knows either your cheating on her or the CD thing is a foot either way if you really love her and want to save your marrage girl the talk is needed im not a expert on this but the righting is on the wall.. I have been married just past 39 years and came out to mine just after we were married and she was accepting and supportive as where we live have never been out as Stephanie just not going to fly here in my area but couple of weeks ago went to Keystone conferance in PA. with some wonderful girlfriends from CDH and wife in hand we had a wonderful time so just something to think about girlfriend hope things work out and good luck ..
Stephanie Bass
No. I must admit there have been times in my life where I would hoping CD’ing would go away. Even though I’ve had multiple pauses in by CD’ing the urge has always come back.
It’s part of you and all of us here. We’re all special. J-
Every girl here will tell you…
NO IT NEVER GOES AWAY… EVER!
In my experience, no, it won’t go away.
What I would like see go away is the stigma of being a crossdresser. Wouldn’t that be nice.
Some studies have shown there is a physical cause for it. I apologize that I don’t know the science well, but it has to do with brain structure.
Hi Helena, I am a senior crossdresser who just resumed it about five years ago. When I did I decided to be open and up front about it with my wife and family. The results have been wonderful, with my wife buying me clothes, wigs and posing for photo shoots with Paulette. It has been so much fun. I look forward to hearing more from you in the coming weeks. Hugs, Paulette
Helena,
I have very little to add. You can pack it away at times, forget its there then just like a “Jack In The Box” it pops up again. Usually as you get older your estrogen levels increase and the desire to be more feminine becomes even stronger. If you like the desire, embrace it for it can be wonderful. If you hate the desire, I sympathize since I have never heard of anybody being “CURED” from it. Hugs TERI
Omg terry you are so so right as I get older (66)now I’m really really really feeling much more femmine than I’ve have been in the past and I’m just LOVING it so so much to me it’s not a fetish but something that I really really love doing not as a hoppy but the way I love to live my life 24 -7 as ambermaria I keep my self femmine 95 percent of the time and it’s not. ENOUGH I definitely want. A 100 percent
Hello Helena,
Welcome to our amazing CrossDresserHeaven (CDH) site. So glad you have joined us here. Feel free to explore all that our site has to offer.
The Warmth, Compaasion and Hospitality of our community members can be found throughout the site.
Please do make use of the forums and articles or public chat room and friendships offered here on CrosDresser Heaven.
At any Membership level, You can contact any of us via [ PM ] Private Messages. You can find that link on each member’s Wall under their Profile picture.
Also, you may find what you need such as Help Center or Ambassadors by using the links in the top R/H drop down 3 bar [ hamburger ] menu.
Here is a good link to review the membership levels and the privledges for each. Such as Private Chat, Groups, etc.
https://www.crossdresserheaven.com/membership-account/membership-levels/
Regards,
Terri Anne, Ambassador
=========== Link to our public Chat room ==============
Negative
Hi
To all you girls that replied to my intro and question regarding urge/desire to crossdress go away.
Thank you.
I realize that for most of us it doesn’t.
I happy being Helena and finding CdH site has made me more positive and not embarrassed when buying more girly clothes and lingerie.
As I said I hope Helena stays part of me for a long time,and I get comfort for reading the stories on this site.
Love
HelenaWelcome to the site Helena!
I can’t answer that question because I’ve only been doing this a couple years and single. I don’t have experience in trying this as a non-single.
For me, I guess the question then reads… “Do I WANT it to go away?”… and right now, while I’m single, the answer is a resounding NO WAY! LOL. So much fun as a single person! The attention isn’t even comparable to my boy life… and my boy life was pretty active in that area of attention, and still, Carmen generates a million times the amount I can ever achieve as a man.
In my experience no. I believe we’re wired this way. There’s no cure. Some of us can repress the urge, but the urge always comes back.
Personally, I’ve known I was different since I was 4….when I tried to put on a bra. Decades of denial and countless purges followed. No more of that. I accepted who I am 6 years ago and started a physical transition last September.
For me, the urge to crossdress started around ten, with the usual sneeking of mom’s undies and standing in her pumps. When I got caught, it lead to years of therapy. There was no shame used, but they felt it was something which needed to be fixed. Since I found it easy enough to suppress expressing my feminine side is such a forthright fashion, I kept Charlotte hidden away for a long time, including decades into my marriage.
Then one day, Charlotte kicked down the closet door and told me things had to change.
So no, it doesn’t go away. For many, the nature of the need changes over time, often from being a sexual thrill to a comfortable and comforting normal.
If I may make a suggestion, regarding the matter of your wife finding your underthings and your denial. In my opinion, it is a bad strategy. She will likely be left thinking one of two things. Either you’re cheating on her, and your mistress(es) are leaving things behind, or that they are yours and you’re lying to her. In both cases she’s going to be hurt and resentful. The fact she hasn’t already given you an ultimatum suggests to me she’s assuming the latter of the two scenarios, and is patiently waiting for you to come clean and talk about it.
It doesn’t go away. I first tried on my mother’s nylons when I was 12, hasn’t changed since. I’ve been married twice, divorced once and during the last 9 years since my wife’s death I’ve let my cross dressing imagination run wild. I met a woman who wanted me to go out dressed, and now have a lovely young lady who doesn’t like me wearing bars but appears happy with everything else.
After lots of outdoor trips I’ve realised my cross dressing needs are sexual, and there’s nothing more fun than wearing nylons and then disappearing into a bedroom with a woman wearing nylons.
Nylon legs slipping together are the best.
I read all the comments after posting mine.
I don’t know how this works, but the reality is the urge never leaves.
Don’t wait to get caught. Lots of explaining after that. Don’t wear lacy underwear, make a mistake and have her find them and ask you a nasty question.
The whole CD thing can be fun, for both of you. Be honest, open, clear, wear sexy outfits and ‘wow’ your girl with your imagination.
-
Personally, it fades significantly but always returns. I usually don’t like to use the word “always” but it’s been about 40 years so….☺️
Hello Helena, you are welcome to a site of varied and doverse talents. Acceptance from others helps especially family, but it is what you feel. For me it has been a long journey, but lately, femming up at work, and socially.
You should always feel comfortable, so little steps forward worked for me.
Enjoy your life. Treat yourself.
Best Wishes
JaneHello, Your question brings me to tears.I have been dressing for 50 yrs now, I am 70 yrs. old.I love dressing,I makes me feel so alive,well,I should say,it made me feel so alive. My interest is slowly fading.I was dressed one day,I took a good look at myself in the mirror,both dressed and nude,I look like hell.I look so old,so tired,so ugly! I talk to my partner,she could care less.I need a shoulder to cry on.Any offers?
Hi Helena, this is Holly.
I just jioned CDH a few days ago, but saw your question and wanted to reply to it.
I can tell you from personal experience that being a crossdresser is something that does not go away. Ever. Sure, you can try and hide it from others and deny it to yourself, but if you’re a crossdresser, she’s a part of you that will always be there. She may not be out and she may not be obvious, but she will always be there with you.
My advice is to accept her and let her be part of your life. Whether you’re out and open is your own choice, but don’t make yourself miserable by trying to be someone you’re not. You’ll only make yourself more miserable by doing that. Plus, if you go through the whole binge and purge cycle that so many of us are familiar with, you’ll end up spending a lot of money over time that you then throw away, but then wish you had never done that, and then go out and replace those things again. It’s a crazy cycle and it makes you feel worse.
So be thankful that you have this part of you and embrace her. Most men will never know what they’re missing, which is really so sad. So be glad that you’re able to celebrate and experience this part of your life, because truthfully, it’s wonderful to be a woman!
Anyway, that’s my perspective based on my own life experiences. I hope it helps you somewhat.
Hugs,
Holly
I found it never goes away and boy have I purged but finally gave into my urges. My life has become whole lot more simpler with no more drinking.
So go for it and enjoy your feminine sideI guess it’s all been said Helen but again I have known hundreds of cds over the years in clubs and therapy and we all agreed it never goes away. Yea some girls have gone years without dealing with it but it always returns in life as my therapist says. So we accept it and just deal with it as an innate characteristic we were born into . Just accept it and enjoy the wonderful thrill we experience. I consider it a gift to be able to experience both lives and not a burden or pathology.
Hi Helena, for me the urge to cross dress is a part of me and has been since I was about 6 but back then I didn’t know what it was. In the 66 year since the urge has never gone away, it’s with me 24/7. Truthfully I would never want it to go away, Trish is as big a part of me as her male counterpart, maybe bigger. I read and article somewhere that said, if there was a cure for cross dressing would you take it? Almost all the girls who responded said no there’s no way they would take the cure. There’s nothing more exciting or satisfying that being in front of a mirror and watching your self slowly become a beautiful women.
Love,
Trish
Welcome Helena.I am in my sixties too.My official crossdressing start was 1972.There has been a couple of false starts at age five or so when I tried wearng my mother’s stockings without much success.Then at age ten my female cousin dressed me up in her clothes.But that first official time wearing my mum’s tights / pantyhosd in the autumn of 1972 was an awesome experience.Fifty years down the line it’s stayed with me all these years and means so much to mr.
I’ll be 70 this year.
At least 60 years loving the femme.
Didn’t start sharing until about 5 years ago. Practically totally with gg friends. Haven’t found any who weren’t accepting. Makes me realize what good friends I have, and how much time I’ve spent hidingRetired now so I have more chances to dress at home, go out underdressed, wear lipstick, earrings, and mascara.
I said all that to say this. It has not gone away.
I have accepted myself with counseling and those good friends.
If anything, it may be stronger. But not as sexual as when I started.
But so much more relaxing and comfortable with no sense of shame.
So much better after all these years-
I’m tearing as I write this. I’ve never been so honored to be apart of something, anything. I never fit in, though you would think I had it all.
I want to thank you all.
i am 55. Started at 10 and dressed off and on until little over a year ago. I always seems to go to Jocelyn when I needed someone in my corner.
As so many have stated, Jocelyn is my home. I can’t and nor do I ever want to know a day with her beating within me.
No the desire doesn’t ever go away. And I am so grateful it hasn’t.
I feel so blessed, and I don’t even know you girls. My heart does, that’s all the verification I need!!
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