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Hi everyone,
My name is Sara. I’m in my early 30’s, married and living in the south of the UK, I am bi-curious but have never had the chance to explore.
I have only recently started crossdressing by wearing knickers and a non-wired bra, which make me feel amazing, I love the way they fit. I now wear knickers to work each day, changing them before I leave to come home.
I’m Awaiting my first order of clothes to arrive (hence no pic yet) and can barely contain my excitement at the thought of trying them on soon, hopefully they fit.
My wife doesn’t know (as far as I’m aware) and I’m too scared of losing her if I reveal it. I don’t want to put her through all of the possible emotions she might experience (naturally my imagination assumes the worst) and I think she would see it as a betrayal of trust.
I guess I’m just looking for a like-minded community/friends that might understand what I’m going through while I explore this new side of me and work out how far I want to go.
Love
Sara
Hi Sara,
You are amongst friends who totally get your journey and all the joy and questions it brings. Can’t wait to hear more about your adventures 😊
KariHi Sara,
This is a bit like talking to my younger self, because I have often thought about how I might have done things differently when I was in my 30s. Note: I did not fully come out to my wife until much much later in our marriage, long after our kids were out of the house on their own.
In my 30s she happened to discover some of my femme clothes when I was about to leave on a business trip. Needless to say, that was traumatic and took years of therapy and hiding things and underlying angst. As it turned out, our relationship was strong enough to work through it.
I am assuming you do not have children (yet?)
I am hesitant to give advice to someone I do not know, but I would say it probably would have been easier for me to share my feelings about gender identity and sexuality earlier in my marriage if I had found the right support. Realize that back in the 90s there was not even the vocabulary or understanding that exists in the world right now…
I would consider a couple questions:
– how long have you known each other, how much have you shared with each other and how strong is your relationship?
– how do you feel about crossdressing as part of your life? if this is truly part of who you are (and it took me a long time to finally realize it was for me) then you are going to need to express it some way.
My experience is that it is hard on one’s psyche to keep a secret like this from one that you love.
Good luck with your journey.
Love
EvieHi Evie
Thank you so much for your reply, very insightful and full of wisdom.
Im so new to all of this and the some of the feelings I feel are quite overwhelming. I want to see how far I’m willing to go before I consider broaching the subject with my SO. I will definitely think on what you’ve said/suggested.
Love Sara
Hi Sara, welcome to a brand new world of discovery. We often see things that we may draw a conclusion on that is nowhere near reality and often leave asking hard questions until we can’t handle not knowing anymore. More harm can be done to a relationship by hiding stuff than by open and honest. She may even be so relieved that her imagination was so far off that support may be offered. Most of us dream of having a fully supportive SO and some are actually fortunate enough to have that. Enjoy your journey
Hello Sara and welcome to CDH. You are not on this boat alone, as many here have the same thoughts as you about coming out to your SO. All I will add is that I’m very glad that I did very early in our marriage. Although I wish that after the 35 years of her knowing we would have gone out on a girls night out, but I don’t know if that will ever happen. What I do know is that I don’t have to hide something that is a very big part of me, and that is priceless. I wish you well on your journey.
Sherri
Welcome home! As your senior sister by more years than I care to admit, I will point out that we as a group have shared every fear, hope, dream that you have or will have. Not out to wife? many among us in the same relationship. Toughest question to master. When you find the friends here that are most similar to you, use them to help cope. May your journey be a smooth one.
Hi Sara. Oh I know the feeling of excitement you have right now waiting for the package to arrive. If I can ever be of any help or give advice, please pm me. Thank you for being here.
Rose
Hi Willa, I can’t wait 😁
I will be sure too drop you a PM, I will no doubt need alot of advice.
Love Sara
Hi Sara welcome to CDH it’s nice to meet you we are like one big happy family on here so don’t be shy come on in and join the family, I’m a mature crossdresser I’ve been dressing most of my life since i was about 8 or 9 years old when i tried my older sister’s lingerie on I’m still in the closet to my wife too, I’m a UK girl too I’m up in Shropshire, I’m sure you will find lots of friends on here so if you have any questions just ask and the girls will get back to you X 🎀
Hugs Rozalyn X 💋
Hi Sara
Welcome to CDH from another Crossdresser living in the South of England that is also in the Closet at home.
RachelHi Sara nice to meet you and sorry was out of town when you joined for give the late welcome but so happy you found and joined us girls here so get settled in relax and enjoy yourself here.. As a new sister and family member you are welcomed with open arms into our home as well as yours now also.. Girl there is so much to see and do here from reading the forums and posts from so many wonderful ladies here telling there stories about there journeys down the femme road they are on.. When you get comfortable with us please join in with a story or two about the life and times of Sara as she travels down her own girly path in life.. As for making friends here there are so many ladies from all over the world to build long lasting friendships with and best of all we are just a simple click away from you.. Again girlfriend nice to meet you and hope to see you around for a chat sometime soon..
Stephanie Bass
Hello Sara,
Welcome to our CrossDresser Heaven (CDH) site. So glad you have joined us here. Feel free to explore all that our site has to offer.
The Warmth, Compassion and Hospitality of our community members can be found throughout the site.
Please do make use of the forums and articles or public chat room and friendships offered here on CrossDresser Heaven.
At any Membership level, You can contact any of us via Private Message (PM). You can find that link on each member’s Wall under their Profile picture.
Also, you may find what you need from: The Help Center or our Ambassadors by using the links in the Top R/H Drop Down 3 bar Menu.
Here is a good link to review the membership levels and the privledges for each. Such as Private Chat (PC), Groups, Additional Photo Allowance, etc.
****** https://www.crossdresserheaven.com/membership-account/membership-levels/
Regards,
Terri Anne, Ambassador
======= Link to our Public Chat Room =========
Hello Sara welcome to CDH I am glad you have shared a part of who you are and having found us and made the step to become part of a family that is welcoming, understanding, compassionate, and supportive. While we are all similar and have many of the same desires we all differ on our goals or public expression and or level of personal experiences. I encourage you to explore the many forums, topics, polls and member biographies found here as there are a wide range of members all over the spectrum of feminine expression or those on the path to transition and those that have. There are also links to websites that have products and services that may help you on your own personal path of acceptance and self expression. Ultimately it is a place, home, or world were you can feel feel comfortable and confident in who you are; as being who you truly are as your authentic self of you being a man, a woman, or expressing your feminine desires feelings and or qualities. I am happy you are here and have made a choice to accept this part of yourself as self acceptance is the most important thing you can do for yourself and others. You can’t expect others to accept you if you don’t accept yourself all of you. As you are sharing a part of your authentic self here on CDH it ultimately lifts some of the burden that you may be feeling which many of us have carried for what seems like a lifetime you are not alone. Being here helps not only yourself but helps others gain acceptance and confidence I am happy you have made the step to be here. Welcome!
Hugs April
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