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Hi ladies!
If you’ve followed my polls for a while, you know I’m not shy about touching on topics that may be considered a bit sensitive. So yes, here’s another one! 😉
We all know that as crossdressers, we live for those times when we can dress. We plan for it, we look forward to it, we set money aside for it, and we often spend more time and money on it than perhaps we should (or at least I do). We also often tend to go overboard and don’t want to stop, to the exclusion of other things in our lives (like family, friends, work, etc.) that should take priority. In short, crossdressing is almost like an addiction.
Wait, what???
Well, let’s see, according to medical professionals, the definition of an addiction is: A condition involving use of a substance, such as a drug or alcohol, or engagement in a behavior, such as gambling, in which a person has strong cravings, is unable to stop or limit the activity, continues the activity despite harmful consequences, and experiences distress upon discontinuance.
Hmmm, that sounds strangely familiar in many ways, at least to me and based on my own past behavior.
And first, let me state that I’m not a medical professional in any way, nor am I involved in the medical field.I also realize that not too many decades ago, crossdressing was considered by both medical professionals and the psychological community as “deviant behavior” that could be cured. That’s not what I’m asking about here.
I also realize that this is a tricky topic, as for some of us, crossdressing is an outlet, for some it is a fetish, for some it is a lifestyle, for some it is stress relief, and for some it is a reflection of who we really are (like me). But this topic just came to me as I was thinking about some of my own past behaviors. The truth is, before I came to really appreciate and accept my feminine side and realize that crossdressing, for me at least, was a sign of something much deeper-seated in my psyche, I’m pretty sure that I was probably on the verge of moving from having crossdressing in my life to having a crossdressing addiction.
However, recognizing that I, and many of us here who have probably dealt with these kinds of desires to this degree, whether you currently do or whether it was in the past, that led me to consider things in a somewhat different light.
So of course that got me to wondering…
Is crossdressing an addiction? Or can it become one?
I’m really interested in the responses you all may have on this one!
Hugs,
Holly
For me personally it is not an addiction but rather it is an integral part of who I am. I am proud to be a long-time crossdresser and I fully embrace it. I feel extremely lucky to have such a strong feminine side coupled with my male side. This may sound like a cliche, but I truly believe that I have the best of both worlds.
Truthfully, I’ve been a crossdresser all my life, each and every time I was wearing male clothing.
Feminine clothing was what I was supposed to wear and always felt comfortable in. I never got a thrill from wearing girl’s clothes, it always felt right, I was at home in them, at peace. And now that is what I wear each and every day, no addiction whatsoever, just wearing my own clothes. 🙂
Hugs,
Ms. Lauren M
I understand your light hearted approach and think addiction can be applied in its loosest terms but has serious connotations in harming oneself and others in its extreme. Pastimes can become an obsession which can have similar outcomes to addiction but one has to be careful in this community as I think you have touched on a sensitive subject which has prompted my reply.
Crossdressing for a lot of girls here maybe more of a pastime taking what opportunity they can to indulge in their passion and do so within their means and opportunities. Some really do go for it to get to a level that is as perfect as they can get. This is where it may become obsessive but is it an addiction?
Those that are more obsessive about crossdressing could be more likely to be trans, have dysphoria or some kind of mental health issue caused by trauma. I do not feel that calling it an addiction is correct as, to me, it clearly isn’t as in some cases the harm caused to the individual or others is more likely to be due to another condition, crossdressing is not considered an addiction that I know of.
I have dealt with addicts and those with mental health issues so forgive me if I am being overly objective as there maybe those on this forum who may be dismayed to having their condition inferred to as an addiction while struggling with internal issues which aren’t due to being an addict.
Holly,
In my opinion cross dressing, like so many other things, can become a compulsion so strong that it causes someone to not be aware of or not care about the damage they are causing to themselves or others. I’m thinking that description applies to a small percentage of CD’s that I have run across so far. Is that addiction? I’m really not sure.
I chose other for it’s not a addition, its more like letting your feminine side out, being what you should be a female. woman dress like men and nothing is said about that so we can dress in female clothing. for me dressing up is a part of me and helps me relax and be less dressed and no panic attacks. if i don’t dress up then i am miserable
I voted no.
My non-professional understanding of addiction implies that clinical treatment is indicated to reduce or prevent undesirable behavior.
As we know, there is no practical treatment that will reduce or prevent crossdressing. Sheer willpower may produce that result….and will also result in one very unhappy individual. Hardly the outcome most of us want.
Further, there is nothing inherently wrong or undesirable with crossdressing. The negative views of crossdressers and trans people are purely social.
Other cultures embrace non-binary members of their society as a traditional third-gender. For example, Two-Spirits in Native American society fulfill ceremonial and social roles in their cultures. The behavior of these people is not considered an addiction.
I would offer that most of us were born this way. It’s how we’re wired. There is no fix and it isn’t going away.
Personally, I tried for decades to NOT be a crossdresser and then trans. Nothing worked. Not even 3 years of “conversion therapy”. I am who I am. There’s nothing wrong with me. I’m definitely NOT addicted.
/EA
Interesting question and I answered yes because the more ladies attire and under attire in different styles and colors the more I want. Every thing from panties/bras to leggings then tops and dresses and slacks. I would like to try ladies jeans but not sure about the sizing?
With men’s clothing jeans, T-shirts and go-fasters is an easy fix but shopping for women’s attire is so much more fun and exciting with all the different styles and colors
I have to stay away from the online sites because it is hard to slap the back of my hand and say “NO”
SaraYou described my feeling quite well. I think to a extent it is but also believe it is just a part of who I really am. I am confident if I had been born female I would have coped very well. I also think based on people around me that I would not present as well as a confident woman who takes pride in how she dresses and presents as I do as a crossdresser. And I have run the gamit from wanting to transition to where I am now. Just fairly happy being me.
Oh dear : I probably shouldn’t get started on this: but it is interesting! put it down to the ramblings of a daft old woman!
I think those who portray crossdressing as an addiction are looking for an easy oversimplification. I consider crossdressing and transgender as being on the same spectrum. Any behaviour can become “addictive” particularly if associated with significant emotional gratification, and helped by some jeopardy and thrill. So yes it could be. But on this side of the pond we feel continuance despite being aware of the harm and damage caused, and the need for ever increasing stimulation to get the same satisfaction are important parts of addiction. This is where it falls down as an “explanation”. We are basically the same person whether en femme or not, so have the same disposition towards addictive behaviours (perhaps to different degrees): and undoubtedly that could come out en femme, but isn’t in my view caused by it.
I can only speak of myself. I feel I am suffering from a chronic complex deficiency: of recognition and of feminity in myself. Having discovered it I want as much relief as I can get: but only to fill the hole. My dressing and recognition hasn’t harmed me: I think, as do independent councillors, even my wife who hates the whole thing, that I am more healthy, emotionally, mentally and physically for having recognised my feminity. Coming out to my wife and myself has challenged our relationship.. a relationship entered into at the height of my deficiency and without insite. Do I need more stimulation?: no. Now I can sometimes feel at peace as Thea wearing a flimsy set of tights under my mens clothing, sometimes fully dressed with makeup etc.
Right: got that off my chest! sorry about that, Hugs, Thea
Good morning ladies! The responses to this have given me pause to rethink my answer. I originally voted for addiction. That opinion could be somewhat stilted since I struggled with addictive substances in the past. While some aspects of dressing may have commonality with addiction, I now think compulsion may be a better answer. XO – Julia
An interesting question that I have pondered more times than I can count. It is definitely a compulsion, no denying that component. I have often wondered if this desire is similar to someone’s addiction to drugs or whatever else falls into that spectrum.
I am constantly shopping for clothes, thinking about the next outfit or outing, etc. If I had a few dollars whenever I said, “Never again!”, I would be able to take a very, very, nice vacation with those dollars. Like many, I have had my hiatus periods many times, yet the urge always returned.
I hate labels, but I don’t seem to be able to give up this side of my personality, so I guess, bad as I hate to admit it, I am addicted to dressing up.
Addiction is such a negative word. I think our dressing is more of a compulsion to express our inner feminine side. Society has such a problem with our dressing as they see it is “not normal” for a guy to want to dress up in ladies clothing. But yet a lady can wear whatever they want and no one bats an eye.
Holly:
Certainly not an “addiction,” but certainly a whenever possible advocation as I truly love who I am when dressed and my female persona becomes dominant. While not an addiction as defined, my desire to cross dress has become a powerful personal need especially when presented with opportunities to meet socially with other local area sisters. If I am dressed but alone,, the need is not as intense.
Maybe a question for future polling would have to do with how do you feel when returning to male clothing and lifestyle?
Hi Holly, I would say it’s not for me. But I am sure it could be for some. I think my addiction is shopping. I have to watch that. Hugs
I gave this poll a lot of thought, finally voting yes – not because it is addictive necessarily but because I can see where it might become one for some. For me personally crossdressing has given me great joy and psychological benefit – it clearly fills a personal void. I feel I am the better person for it, which extends to my male self as well. I do often feel a pull or desire to dress in order to feel the sensuality and euphoria again and again, and thoughts of dressing take up a large portion of my subconscious throughout the day. For me, these things are harmless as I can pull myself away from fantasy and return to reality even if I don’t want to. If I were to give up control and begin to live for the thrill or “fix” then it would fall into the range of a behavior that would be considered addictive, not of the chemical sort like a drug but of the psychological sort. From my personal perspective I think establishing a balance is the key and the difference between that which is pleasurable, even beneficial, and that which can become addictive.
Thanks Kris
Reading your analogy of this question clarifies to me a lot of my feelings and the reason I answered yes too. I am comfortable with my male self that I was born and have lived with for the past 72 years but I knew that there was another hidden side to me that just couldn’t be left behind any longer.
On face book there are all these side advertisements for all different online women’s clothing and lingerie sites and when I checked them out I see the beautiful clothes and outfits from panties and bras to dresses and slacks etc. and then started to imagine me in them and feeling the need to be wearing them.
My man boobs started getting bigger in my late 40’s and now fit naturally in a C cup bra and when I bought my first 2 bras for a Halloween costume and got home and tried them on and my breasts felt natural and comfortable that is when Sara was released from her hiding place on Oct 30th when I found CDH.
My profile tells the rest but I wear my drab clothes when I have to but my en femme clothes are pretty much every day all day when we are in the privacy of home with differing percentages of coverage depending on what we are wearing.
Women’s clothes feel more natural and comfortable once I got the sizing and styles down and now my inventory is growing.
There is a lot more to the story but I don’t want to bore you girls because all of you are my help and inspiration to be the woman Sara has become and we can never thank you all enough.
Sara
Is cross dressing an addiction? Heavens no!
An addiction is something that traps and holds a person prisoner, like drugs and alcohol.
Cross dressing is freedom! Freedom to accept who you really are, be the real you, and know peace.
This is a very interesting and important topic, which I have heard discussed at CD support meetings.
If you have CD support meetings in your area, they can be very helpful, IF the group is worth attending. Find out the reputation of the group, before attending. We have two groups here in Atlanta, one is not worth attending, while the other is an excellent meeting, sponsored by a local professional therapist at her professional offices.
I agree with this. I think “addiction” should be reserved to the bodily need for a substance of some kind. In general, that need can be controlled through emotional support and the development of alternative mechanisms separate from the body. Crossdressing is a fundamental part of my emotional and psychic being. There are no substances or alternative mechanisms short of death that could get me to stop.
Hi Kimmie
I tend to agree with you on this point. I am less than a month old here in CDH but saying that Sara is now the dominant 1/2 of this duo and the male is but a shadow that follows us around. The male part of us is a necessity of our everyday life because at our age even though we would like to do the woman thing in public as well as in our home and that is not going to happen. We have to dress drab in public.
Sara
I do not feel crossdressing is an addiction but rather a liberation. So many of us held who we are inside for so long, that now, having an opportunity to be ourselves, we let it out. Crossdressing isn’t something we just decide to try, but it is something that is a part of who we are. So yes, we may go a little overboard at times but that is only because we never had a female puberty to find out what works for us. We are all just trying to find acceptance and comfort in our life. Hugs to all you ladies out there, your are okay, enjoy who you are!!
In the year or so that I’ve been living alone, my femme wardrobe has grown to fill half a walk-in closet. I don’t think crossdressing is an addiction so much but more of a hobby. Depending on your sources of statistics, it a hobby enjoyed by maybe one in every 50 males. It may not be as common as say, golf or fishing, but it doesn’t really cost any more than those hobbies, and for those of us so inclined, provides at least as much enjoyment. As one of the other ladies mentioned, it provides a wonderful feeling of liberation from masculinity for a little while.
My wife would say its an addiction. I do not consider it such, I just love to dress and present as feminine as I can. It is who I am and expressing my feminine side is a part of who I am. I love my time as Julie. It would be impossible to stop expressing my feminine side bacause it gives me such joy.
I have recently posted the below comments on anther forum…
I find that when there are long periods when I cannot fully dress I am stressed because of that. So dressing helps me avoid the stress of not dressing – is this a sign of an addiction?
…and, now thinking about that, is the addiction of CDing the reason why the more I dress the more I want to dress?
I certainly feel slightly euphoric when I about to dress and when I am dressed – again a symptom of an addiction?
On the other hand, if it is an addiction, it is a non-destructive and non-hurtful addiction, so should I worry? I don’t think so.[quote quote=702657]I would like to try ladies jeans but not sure about the sizing?[/quote]
Go into a large store and try some on, then you will know your sizing. If a bit shy, pick them up in the lady’s department then walk over to the men’s dressing room. Nobody will care. If in the USA, maybe other countries, Gloria Vanderbilt Amanda are a good first start as they have decent pockets, elastic waist to help with the sizing, and a front zip. Best, Marlene.
I don’t know if crossdressing is an addiction, a fetish, kink or all three and much more than that. When I dress, I feel a special feeling of excitement. That starts when I’m putting on my pantyhose or stockings. Then that continues and grows as I slip on my shoes, put on my bra, dress and wig. Then I’m fully femme and feel different that whole time I am.
Then I’ve been out and got looks, compliments on my shoes, dress and hair, got asked about my pantyhose and been politely told I had a run in my stocking. Those incidents often brought about the most insane levels of excitement and incredible thrills. I can’t feel like that unless I’m dressed. So for me, dressing is many things. What I do know is no matter what it is, I love it.
I voted other. Pro for addiction: almost anything can become an addiction. I wake up every day wanting a smoke, cigar smoke drives me crazy, but I stopped 25 years ago and will not go back. Con: I feel crossdressing is totally related to your for lack of a better way to describe, genetic makeup. Addiction I feel is a learned trait. BUT, there are different spaces within this genetic room. I will not go into the various spaces due to time and space. Suffice to say the room I’m in has the feminine trait to want to and enjoy shopping. Not an addiction because I am able to resist buying everything I like. For instance we are born with a genetic trait to eat. But even as an infant, we don’t want to eat all the time. The addiction to overeating all the time was acquired. Now where did I leave that bag of Cheetos?
Well… literally anything can become an addiction, especially for people unlucky enough to be wired in such a way to be extra vulnerable to the sorts of behaviors and reactions that are involved in habits forming and eventually reaching full-blown addiction status.
So… while saying “crossdressing is an addiction” in general is definitely a false statement, some people probably are “addicted to crossdressing.”
Just like some people are addicted to gambling, some people are addicted to shopping, and a lot of smokers struggle to quit even after the chemical aspect of the addiction has passed because they also got psychologically addicted to the act of smoking (holding a cigarette, having it in their mouth, etc.) in addition to being physically/chemically addicted to nicotine.
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