• This topic has 40 replies, 35 voices, and was last updated 3 weeks ago by Mona.
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    • #706598
      Mona
      Duchess
      Registered On: December 18, 2018
      Topics: 11
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      I love my life as a male and therefore it’s not a state of being that I need to escape from.  But as a stress reliever – definitely yes.   Transforming myself into a woman is very much a creative process that takes all of my time and attention (i.e., the pink fog).  I find that I lose myself completely in this process – I recall hearing this described as the “creative flow” (or something to that effect) which is common to other kinds of creative pursuits like painting. playing music, or enjoying a hobby.

      So dressing gives me the opportunity to stop ruminating about the usual day-to-day worries and responsibilities.  This is totally “me time,” when I can focus exclusively on the creative process of making something beautiful (i.e., myself) without worrying about what others think about me.

      And the bonus is the feeling of joy that accompanies the transformation.   Every time I dress, I am filled with a sense of wonder and joy that I have learned how to turn myself into a reasonably attractive woman (and still learning).  It is not only deeply satisfying but also just plain fun.

      3 users thanked author for this post.
    • #706369
      Jessica Skye
      Duchess
      Registered On: October 27, 2022
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      I do feel like like a completely different person when dressed. I channel my inner girl and can bring out my emotions easily and can connect more with them. I have a bounce in my step too.

      6 users thanked author for this post.
      • #706371
        Keri Law
        Lady
        Registered On: December 27, 2022
        Topics: 3
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        Hey Jessica.   Good luck with your SO.  It has been a pretty significant challenge for me and my SO, although we are in a good place now (both making compromises and with the help of a therapist learning to communicate with each other about my crossdressing in a non-judgmental manner).

        When asked by our therapist and my SO to try to describe how I feel when I crossdress one thing I shared is that it does make me feel like I have a spring in my step (I’m a very casual dresser—I have dresses but prefer skirts) so your post spoke to me (unlike most of the wonderful girls on CDH, I’m not a big fan of high heals so it’s easier to have a spring in my step–LOL).

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    • #706195
      Sandra James
      Lady
      Registered On: December 27, 2020
      Topics: 5
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      crossdressing appeals to me at all times, but when i am going through stressful times in my life i long to be en femme intensely. dressing makes me feel calm and happy with myself. in that sense it is an escape for me.

      4 users thanked author for this post.
    • #706192
      Roberta Broussard
      Baroness
      Registered On: July 20, 2020
      Topics: 7
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      For me my stress comes from living as a male. Living up to all of those expectations.  When Roberta time occurs, that is my escape. It’s like coming home. it’s coming back to a place of comfort.

      4 users thanked author for this post.
    • #706179
      patty williams
      Hostess
      Registered On: January 19, 2019
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      Hi Cathryn,
      I dont feel like Im escaping anything except that yucky drab mode I have to maintain to keep my life on the path I developed for years and not hurt my family.
      I just finally get to be who I want to be.

      maybe it does releive the stress of having to hide who I am some.

      There may be something to that but its not why I dress ,Its just who I am.
      Thank you for sharing what motivates you to dress we all have different reasons girlfriend and Their all good reasons
      Huggs Patty

      3 users thanked author for this post.
    • #706046
      Peggy Sue Williams
      Duchess - Annual
      Registered On: June 26, 2019
      Topics: 23
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      I am not “escaping” anything, when I crossdress.

      I have been crossdressing since I was five y.o., but there were lengthy periods, a few years in some cases, where I was unable to crossdress.  These were not good periods in my life, and I became addicted to alcohol.

      I am leaving out many details.  Suffice to say, today, I am in touch with who I am and in control of my life.  No, crossdressing is not an escape for me.  It is part of who I am.

      6 users thanked author for this post.
      • #706162
        Cathryn
        Lady
        Registered On: November 29, 2022
        Topics: 3
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        Then perhaps this post does not apply to you and you could just move on…

        There are many different people on here, not everything applies to everyone…

        2 users thanked author for this post.
    • #705927
      Rhonda Lee
      Baroness - Annual
      Registered On: September 29, 2021
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      Escape from what?… from who we really are? I think the stress relief comes from allowing ourselves to be who we really are instead of the people society expects us to be to earn their approval. When I am male I believe I am “escaping” my better half in order to conform to expectations. THAT is stressful! I recall a meeting I was in at an MCC, where no one has seen me except when as Rhonda (aside from Hallowe’en when I dressed up as male so no one would recognize me) where one of the ladies remarked that she admired me because I was comfortable in my own skin. She put it well. That is where I belong.

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    • #705395
      J J
      Lady
      Registered On: September 13, 2019
      Topics: 5
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      It is not an escape, just a transformation.

      Until I finally just accepted the fact that I enjoy dressing it was a bit if a stressor, but with that acceptance that stress is gone. Dressing does relieve stress, just like going for a hike, run or bike ride does. They are all things I enjoy doing.

      There is a certain release involved at times since dressing makes me feel sexy and erotic, so there is often that “release” involved either alone or with my wife, and that always releases stress.😙

      6 users thanked author for this post.
    • #705231
      Rayna Carlian
      Duchess
      Registered On: March 4, 2020
      Topics: 3
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      CD activity was a form of stress and stress release simultaneously in the beginning.

      What differed for me was that it opened a door for me to be ME in more than one way.

      I’ve learned that I don’t always want to “pass” and be discreet. I have enjoyed wearing a skirt with a punk band tank top, high heeled Doc Martens, light makeup with 5 o’clock shadow… it’s all part of “Me”…

      I have gotten to a place where I am daring people to explain to me how an item of clothing has or denotes gender. Pants on a woman is ok, skirts on a man is not? WHY? I wear the clothes that speak to the world about me… some days that’s t-shirt, jeans, cowboy boots…. some days that’s a miniskirt, heels and a racerback tank top… some days it would be a mix of either…

      So, I have found stress release in discovering who I am… I find stress in challenging the world to tell me I’m wrong… Maybe the stress level is the same. But there’s comfort in knowing who you are in your own skin…

      Have fun out there!!

      XOXO

      Rayna

       

    • #705221
      Giselle Reeves
      Lady
      Registered On: July 10, 2022
      Topics: 1
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      crossdressing however rare it is i can dress allows  me be the real me for a short period of time

    • #705180
      Shawn S.
      Duchess
      Registered On: January 11, 2019
      Topics: 1
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       It’s definitely a stress reliever. It takes me away to another world where Shawn is herself and accepted by others.

      • This reply was modified 4 weeks ago by Shawn S..
      • #705182
        Sara Cousins
        Duchess
        Registered On: October 30, 2022
        Topics: 3
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        I agree with you except for being accepted by others. I live in Redneck north and if I was ever found out I would be run out of town as two other TG’s that worked at the mine here just couldn’t take it and left for bigger areas to blend in.
        So I guess I will keep to my privacy and be satisfied for the time being
        Sara

    • #704943
      Nikki Just Nikki
      Lady
      Registered On: September 29, 2022
      Topics: 5
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      Nope, not an escape. It’s a homecoming. Comforting when it needs to be, but always comfortable.

    • #704932
      Keri Law
      Lady
      Registered On: December 27, 2022
      Topics: 3
      Replies: 6
      Has thanked: 110 times
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      Thank you all for sharing.   I’m so thankful that I found CDH.  Crossdressing is a huge stress reliever for me and defonitely the way that I fe comfortable/happy.  When I have to change into “stupid boy clothes” to be with my wife I often get a little (or alot) cranky.  It seems as though as time goes on I feel a stronger pull to crossdress as much as I can;   in a perfect world, I’d eventually like to present full time as a woman but I don’t see that happening.   Nice to think about but I do love my wife and am not willing to walk away from our marriage.  So I’m rambling but the bottom line is that all of that makes the serenity that I feel when I am able to crossdress all the more important to staying sane in this situation.

    • #704921
      Lara Tucker
      Lady
      Registered On: September 29, 2021
      Topics: 2
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      Hi Cathryn,

      I think for me it’s finally realizing that there is this part of me. After more than five decades of keeping it buried away and hidden from myself, it’s like it boiled over just a few years ago, and there was this need to express my feminine side.
      For me, it’s not so much an escape as it is doing something I need to, to be myself. Lara will not be ignored!!😂
      So, when I dress because I am satisfying that need, it is very relaxing!

      💕Lara

    • #704919
      Fiona Black
      Baroness - Annual
      Registered On: November 23, 2019
      Topics: 1
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      I dress & present as a woman the majority of the time so no I can’t use it as an escape, Fiona has to deal with life’s many ups & downs. However, since I have fully accepted who I am and began presenting as Fiona, my stress levels are down considerably.

    • #704902
      Lola Caprice
      Baroness
      Registered On: May 26, 2021
      Topics: 12
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      It is absolutely an escape from the world of stress I normally live in.  Unlike some of the others who have responded, for me it’s not so much because Lola is the real me. I’m the real me in either persona and I love both equally.  It’s more because my girl time is all about me.  When I’m putting on my makeup and nails, styling my wig in the mirror, choosing my outfit and accessories, I am 100% focused on my Lola time.  It seems to be the only thing I have in my life where I can push away all the external stresses and just live in that moment in time.  When I’m putting on my makeup and watching the reflection in the mirror become more and more feminine with each step I am completely engulfed in Lola’s world where there is no stress, no deadlines, no bills to pay.  The only order of business is relax, enjoy, and maybe login to CDH and chat with you lovely ladies!

      💖Lola

    • #704899
      Caty Ryan
      Baroness
      Registered On: August 27, 2017
      Topics: 129
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      Yes and has been fro decades..

      1/. Initially and for decades, (as a therapist once told me), “Caty takes you to another place”

      That place was the pressure of being in my own business and being in an unhappy and frustrating, (yes… that… way….) marriage. When dressed, I “made love” to the image in the mirror.

      2/. When “troubles” arose, (ably fermented by my by then ex)  with my by then adult kids,  and I was still working and travelling extensively on business, again Caty came to the rescue.

      3/. Still does these days when things “dont go right”.. EG I sleep femme every night, bra, breast forms and nightwear according to season. EG Right now its summer in OZ and if we get a coolish night, silk sleepwear is just the best.

      Caty.

       

       

    • #704844
      Leah
      Baroness
      Registered On: June 13, 2018
      Topics: 3
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      my wife told me that while I am dressed, I am more calm and relaxed. Which really shocked me. Dressing does create some stress in itself, the fear of someone stopping by unexpectedly with no escape route to avoid being seen.

      In my childhood years, sine I was smaller in body size, I did not feel I fit in the male world,but in the female world< I was a better match.

       

    • #704843
      Jess Secret
      Lady
      Registered On: February 18, 2021
      Topics: 15
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      Stress relief is definitely one aspect of it for me since I have anxiety and stress in my life, but more than anything I dress because I love doing it – I love wearing beautiful lingerie at bedtime, there’s nothing like it.

    • #704841
      Sarah Cerise
      Lady
      Registered On: September 25, 2022
      Topics: 5
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      Hello Cathryn
      It’s about being my inner self however it is also an escape and a stress reliever as well,
      So basically it is a release physically and emotionally.
      Love Sarah xx

    • #704832
      Sara Cousins
      Duchess
      Registered On: October 30, 2022
      Topics: 3
      Replies: 146
      Has thanked: 299 times
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      I don’t think I can justify it as being an escape as much as cross dressing allowed me to find my inner self and if that release was an escape then I guess we could think of it as that.
      I am almost always en femme in some way shape or form when ever at home and that is how I feel comfortable.
      Sara

    • #704827
      Stephanie Flowers
      Ambassador
      Registered On: June 26, 2017
      Topics: 35
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      It’s certainly a stressful world and for half a century it’s been a trend I have followed to what society has been dictating and  what my family has honored in society’s  traditions. Our male world is extremely difficult always acting manly from early childhoods to becoming self independent and lastly responsibilities with our own famlies and careers.

      Seeing all those stressers I’ve always looked for anything that could help and being attached to feminine clothing certainly helped throughout most of my time. But more importantly later in life as I explored more into dressing than came to realize how much it reduced the stresses, anxieties which hampered me. Telling my wife 5 year’s ago started this process to explore and today I’m much a better person to which my wife adores , happier and more important healthier.

      Dressing ” Oh yes ” reliever in a big way….

      Stephanie 🌷

    • #704816
      Holly Morris
      Lady
      Registered On: April 15, 2022
      Topics: 104
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      Hi Cathryn, what a great question!

      From my perspective, it absolutely is! Being able to shed the role of being male, along with all the responsibilities that goes along with that, is absolutely stress relief. It also allows me to fully embrace and experience a part of me that might otherwise not have an outlet. Being able to become a woman, even if that is only on a part-time basis definitely helps to release stress, making me more capable of dealing with all the other things in my (male) life. I’m able to dress like the woman I long to be, act like a woman, express my feelings and emotions differently, and much, much more. Plus, even just the act of looking forward to being a woman helps reduce stress, as I know that is coming soon.

      So yes, many, many, many times yes! Being a woman is wonderful and definitely helps reduce stress.

      Hugs,

      Holly

    • #704815
      Kim Dahlenbergen
      Lady
      Registered On: November 18, 2019
      Topics: 1
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      You are not wrong. Cross dressing fulfills those needs for you. At the same time, it can mean something completely different for others.

      For me, not dressing creates stress…as though I am denying myself something that I need.

    • #704807
      Angela Booth
      Lady
      Registered On: August 1, 2020
      Topics: 9
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      Looking at the replies here and many similar threads here it seems that a lot of girls feel relaxed and a different person, taking them away from the stresses they endure. Could it be that you are living that male persona to the full and it is not really your true nature and the stress increases. The feeling of calm and relaxation is that you are able to allow those suppressed feelings out which would not fit with the male side as women are allowed to be like that and men not so, hence the release.

      There are other more male ways to relieve stress but we choose dressing which leads to other questions maybe. The fact is that it does you good, makes you a better person then it can only be a good thing.

       

       

       

      • #704909
        Lara Tucker
        Lady
        Registered On: September 29, 2021
        Topics: 2
        Replies: 1267
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        I really do think your insight is pretty spot on, at least for me.
        Lara

        3 users thanked author for this post.
    • #704798
      Kathleen
      Duchess
      Registered On: February 20, 2020
      Topics: 9
      Replies: 282
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      For me personally the only ting that could be all wrong would be to ignore Kathleen. She is a major and cherished part of who I am.
      Thanks Cathryn

    • #704796
      Suzanne Martin
      Hostess
      Registered On: January 8, 2020
      Topics: 5
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      Has thanked: 1816 times
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      I do find that when I am dressed my stress level decreases.  There have been times my wife has asked if I need some Suzanne time as I’m getting a bit stressed.  I find it to be relaxing to be able to slip into a persona who doesn’t have the issues of my male self.  I also find that being here is relaxing as I am able to open up and talk about things I can’t talk with others about.

      Thank you all for being in my life and sharing your journey’s.

      XOXO
      Suzanne

    • #704795
      Suzanne Martin
      Hostess
      Registered On: January 8, 2020
      Topics: 5
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      I do find that when I am dressed my stress level decreases.  There have been times my wife has asked if I need some Suzanne time as I’m getting a bit stressed.  I find it to be relaxing to be able to slip into a persona who doesn’t have the issues of my male self.  I also find that being here is relaxing as I am able to open up and talk about things I can’t talk with others about.

      Thank you all for being in my life and sharing your journey’s.

      XOXO
      Suzanne

    • #704794
      Rozalyn Richards
      Lady
      Registered On: July 27, 2022
      Topics: 0
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      Hi Cathryn I’m with the other girls on this one, when I’m Roz I’m much more calmer and contented with the world, all my stresses seem to disappear, as for you saying are you doing anything wrong well if you feel better as your Fem self then you are not doing anything wrong, we are all sister’s on here and we all feel the same sort of things, being our Fem self make’s us feel free and a whole lot calmer person X 🎀

      Hugs Rozalyn X 💋

    • #704790
      Cerys Burton
      Lady
      Registered On: February 2, 2021
      Topics: 73
      Replies: 233
      Has thanked: 213 times
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      In recent years, after a serious period of depression, I am half the man I used to be. I used to be confident. I could solve problems without thinking. I could take on the world. Nothing phased me. I am no longer that person. He is still there, but very rarely comes to the surface. I became afraid to tackle problems. I’ll push them aside. I cannot make decisions. I am a shadow of the man I used to be.
      Cerys gives me confidence. Cerys makes me feel more in control of my life and surroundings. Cerys makes me feel like I can take on the world…. Cerys is (almost) my superhero persona. The more I get down the more extravagant/sexy my dressing. If I’m not so down, and in a good mood, Cerys will be more every day woman about town.
      Whilst Cerys causes problems, she lifts me. The long and short of it is….
      Cerys saved me.

      Cerys.

    • #704785
      Karen Allum
      Lady
      Registered On: February 10, 2021
      Topics: 1
      Replies: 38
      Has thanked: 65 times
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      Hi Cathryn,

      Back in the early 1990s I had a very stressful job and I found that becoming Karen in the evening when I got home from work was definitely an escape from all the stress and worry. By putting on lingerie, a dress, make-up and a wig I became a different person – a calm and much more relaxed person.

      Now I’m retired I no longer have all that stress and simply enjoy being Karen whenever I get the opportunity.

      Karen x

       

    • #704778
      Thea
      Lady
      Registered On: August 30, 2022
      Topics: 7
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      Has thanked: 492 times
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      Not for the first time I find other ladies have put down just what I feel: though much more elegantly! More and more I feel like the cross dressing is the bit when I appear male.  When I can let my feminine energy flow I am more relaxed, happier, less stressed, more creative… Just more me.  It’s taken me a long time to feel like this, and initially it was an escape from the drab artificial world of maleness that had always been so problematic for me.

      Hugs Thea

    • #704746
      Emily Alt
      Hostess
      Registered On: August 24, 2019
      Topics: 24
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      Has thanked: 1403 times
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      Presenting as a male feels like a well worn act.  It’s fake and it induces stress.  If anything, that’s when I’m crossdressing.

      Presenting as my authentic self does the opposite.  Stress and dysphoria fade away.

      /EA

    • #704745
      Erika Henderson
      Duchess - Annual
      Registered On: November 26, 2022
      Topics: 5
      Replies: 204
      Has thanked: 1224 times
      Been thanked: 783 times

      It absolutely is for me!  Plus, I finally get to be honest with myself as to who I am.

      7 users thanked author for this post.
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