Is crossdressing your escape?

[Cathryn]

I’m curious if crossdressing has become or is your release from stresses and other negatives in your life?

I feel like it is for me. When I get all dolled up for the day it is like I am a different person. In a way, I am. I look very different, do things much differently, and the whole day plays out completely different.

It does create its own stressors but one that I can control.

What are your thoughts? Am I doing it all wrong?

• This topic was modified 1 month ago by Emily Alt. Reason: No poll. Moved to general chat

Total of 40 users thanked author for this post. Here are last 20 listed.

Mona, JOJO, Jessica Skye, Sandy Craig, Emma Chase, Sable Allison, Sandra James, karley delaware, Dani Grand, Jenn Senon, Gemma Lovegood, Jill Quinn, Giselle Reeves, Katie Plowright, Michelle Cross, Keri Law, Jem H, April Sinclair, Lola Caprice, Robinette Robbyns

Topic

[Mona]

I love my life as a male and therefore it’s not a state of being that I need to escape from.  But as a stress reliever – definitely yes.   Transforming myself into a woman is very much a creative process that takes all of my time and attention (i.e., the pink fog).  I find that I lose myself completely in this process – I recall hearing this described as the “creative flow” (or something to that effect) which is common to other kinds of creative pursuits like painting. playing music, or enjoying a hobby.

So dressing gives me the opportunity to stop ruminating about the usual day-to-day worries and responsibilities.  This is totally “me time,” when I can focus exclusively on the creative process of making something beautiful (i.e., myself) without worrying about what others think about me.

And the bonus is the feeling of joy that accompanies the transformation.   Every time I dress, I am filled with a sense of wonder and joy that I have learned how to turn myself into a reasonably attractive woman (and still learning).  It is not only deeply satisfying but also just plain fun.

3 users thanked author for this post.

Lara Tucker, Keri Law, Cathryn

[Jessica Skye]

I do feel like like a completely different person when dressed. I channel my inner girl and can bring out my emotions easily and can connect more with them. I have a bounce in my step too.

6 users thanked author for this post.

Lara Tucker, April Sinclair, Cathryn, Sara Cousins, JOJO, Keri Law

[Keri Law]

Hey Jessica.   Good luck with your SO.  It has been a pretty significant challenge for me and my SO, although we are in a good place now (both making compromises and with the help of a therapist learning to communicate with each other about my crossdressing in a non-judgmental manner).

When asked by our therapist and my SO to try to describe how I feel when I crossdress one thing I shared is that it does make me feel like I have a spring in my step (I’m a very casual dresser—I have dresses but prefer skirts) so your post spoke to me (unlike most of the wonderful girls on CDH, I’m not a big fan of high heals so it’s easier to have a spring in my step–LOL).

4 users thanked author for this post.

Lara Tucker, Jessica Ann Flowers, Jessica Skye, JOJO

[Sandra James]

crossdressing appeals to me at all times, but when i am going through stressful times in my life i long to be en femme intensely. dressing makes me feel calm and happy with myself. in that sense it is an escape for me.

4 users thanked author for this post.

Brittney Andrews, Lara Tucker, Keri Law, Cathryn

[Roberta Broussard]

For me my stress comes from living as a male. Living up to all of those expectations.  When Roberta time occurs, that is my escape. It’s like coming home. it’s coming back to a place of comfort.

4 users thanked author for this post.

Brittney Andrews, Lara Tucker, Cathryn, Emma Chase

[patty williams]

Hi Cathryn,
I dont feel like Im escaping anything except that yucky drab mode I have to maintain to keep my life on the path I developed for years and not hurt my family.
I just finally get to be who I want to be.

maybe it does releive the stress of having to hide who I am some.

There may be something to that but its not why I dress ,Its just who I am.
Thank you for sharing what motivates you to dress we all have different reasons girlfriend and Their all good reasons
Huggs Patty

• This reply was modified 3 weeks ago by patty williams.
• This reply was modified 3 weeks ago by patty williams.

3 users thanked author for this post.

Lara Tucker, AnnaBeth Black, Roberta Broussard

[Peggy Sue Williams]

I am not “escaping” anything, when I crossdress.

I have been crossdressing since I was five y.o., but there were lengthy periods, a few years in some cases, where I was unable to crossdress.  These were not good periods in my life, and I became addicted to alcohol.

I am leaving out many details.  Suffice to say, today, I am in touch with who I am and in control of my life.  No, crossdressing is not an escape for me.  It is part of who I am.

6 users thanked author for this post.

Lara Tucker, Emma Chase, AnnaBeth Black, Roberta Broussard, Leonara, Rhonda Lee

[Cathryn]

Then perhaps this post does not apply to you and you could just move on…

There are many different people on here, not everything applies to everyone…

2 users thanked author for this post.

Keri Law, Roberta Broussard

[Rhonda Lee]

Escape from what?… from who we really are? I think the stress relief comes from allowing ourselves to be who we really are instead of the people society expects us to be to earn their approval. When I am male I believe I am “escaping” my better half in order to conform to expectations. THAT is stressful! I recall a meeting I was in at an MCC, where no one has seen me except when as Rhonda (aside from Hallowe’en when I dressed up as male so no one would recognize me) where one of the ladies remarked that she admired me because I was comfortable in my own skin. She put it well. That is where I belong.

5 users thanked author for this post.

Lara Tucker, Lynda Jones, Emma Chase, Roberta Broussard, Peggy Sue Williams

[J J]

It is not an escape, just a transformation.

Until I finally just accepted the fact that I enjoy dressing it was a bit if a stressor, but with that acceptance that stress is gone. Dressing does relieve stress, just like going for a hike, run or bike ride does. They are all things I enjoy doing.

There is a certain release involved at times since dressing makes me feel sexy and erotic, so there is often that “release” involved either alone or with my wife, and that always releases stress.😙

6 users thanked author for this post.

Lynda Jones, JOJO, Roberta Broussard, Leonara, Lara Tucker, April Sinclair

[Rayna Carlian]

CD activity was a form of stress and stress release simultaneously in the beginning.

What differed for me was that it opened a door for me to be ME in more than one way.

I’ve learned that I don’t always want to “pass” and be discreet. I have enjoyed wearing a skirt with a punk band tank top, high heeled Doc Martens, light makeup with 5 o’clock shadow… it’s all part of “Me”…

I have gotten to a place where I am daring people to explain to me how an item of clothing has or denotes gender. Pants on a woman is ok, skirts on a man is not? WHY? I wear the clothes that speak to the world about me… some days that’s t-shirt, jeans, cowboy boots…. some days that’s a miniskirt, heels and a racerback tank top… some days it would be a mix of either…

So, I have found stress release in discovering who I am… I find stress in challenging the world to tell me I’m wrong… Maybe the stress level is the same. But there’s comfort in knowing who you are in your own skin…

Have fun out there!!

XOXO

Rayna

 

14 users thanked author for this post.

Jessica Ann Flowers, JOJO, Emma Chase, AnnaBeth Black, Roberta Broussard, Leonara, Deborah Sullivan, April Sinclair, Ashley Konners, Lynda Jones, Cathryn, Jill Quinn, Lara Tucker, Erika Henderson

[Ashley Konners]

Well put. I hear everything your saying and relate to it all.

3 users thanked author for this post.

Roberta Broussard, Lara Tucker, Rayna Carlian

[Giselle Reeves]

crossdressing however rare it is i can dress allows  me be the real me for a short period of time

7 users thanked author for this post.

Roberta Broussard, Denise Little, April Sinclair, Trish White, Lara Tucker, Erika Henderson, Sara Cousins

[Sara Cousins]

Right on Giselle. My feelings to a tee

Sara

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Lara Tucker, Erika Henderson, Giselle Reeves

[Shawn S.]

 It’s definitely a stress reliever. It takes me away to another world where Shawn is herself and accepted by others.

• This reply was modified 4 weeks ago by Shawn S..

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Roberta Broussard, Lynda Jones, Trish White, Cathryn, Lara Tucker, Erika Henderson, Sara Cousins

[Sara Cousins]

I agree with you except for being accepted by others. I live in Redneck north and if I was ever found out I would be run out of town as two other TG’s that worked at the mine here just couldn’t take it and left for bigger areas to blend in.
So I guess I will keep to my privacy and be satisfied for the time being
Sara

5 users thanked author for this post.

Roberta Broussard, Trish White, Lara Tucker, Erika Henderson, Stephanie Flowers

[Nikki Just Nikki]

Nope, not an escape. It’s a homecoming. Comforting when it needs to be, but always comfortable.

6 users thanked author for this post.

Roberta Broussard, Trish White, Lara Tucker, Erika Henderson, Katie Plowright, Sara Cousins

[Keri Law]

Thank you all for sharing.   I’m so thankful that I found CDH.  Crossdressing is a huge stress reliever for me and defonitely the way that I fe comfortable/happy.  When I have to change into “stupid boy clothes” to be with my wife I often get a little (or alot) cranky.  It seems as though as time goes on I feel a stronger pull to crossdress as much as I can;   in a perfect world, I’d eventually like to present full time as a woman but I don’t see that happening.   Nice to think about but I do love my wife and am not willing to walk away from our marriage.  So I’m rambling but the bottom line is that all of that makes the serenity that I feel when I am able to crossdress all the more important to staying sane in this situation.

10 users thanked author for this post.

Emma Chase, AnnaBeth Black, Trish White, Lara Tucker, Erika Henderson, Leah, Michelle Cross, Cathryn, Allysa Grant, Stephanie Flowers

[Lara Tucker]

Hi Cathryn,

I think for me it’s finally realizing that there is this part of me. After more than five decades of keeping it buried away and hidden from myself, it’s like it boiled over just a few years ago, and there was this need to express my feminine side.
For me, it’s not so much an escape as it is doing something I need to, to be myself. Lara will not be ignored!!😂
So, when I dress because I am satisfying that need, it is very relaxing!

💕Lara

8 users thanked author for this post.

Peggy Sue Williams, Brittney Andrews, Trish White, Erika Henderson, Leah, Cathryn, Stephanie Flowers, April Sinclair

[Fiona Black]

I dress & present as a woman the majority of the time so no I can’t use it as an escape, Fiona has to deal with life’s many ups & downs. However, since I have fully accepted who I am and began presenting as Fiona, my stress levels are down considerably.

9 users thanked author for this post.

Deborah Sullivan, Dani Grand, Trish White, Erika Henderson, Leah, Stephanie Flowers, April Sinclair, Lara Tucker, Keri Law

[Lola Caprice]

It is absolutely an escape from the world of stress I normally live in.  Unlike some of the others who have responded, for me it’s not so much because Lola is the real me. I’m the real me in either persona and I love both equally.  It’s more because my girl time is all about me.  When I’m putting on my makeup and nails, styling my wig in the mirror, choosing my outfit and accessories, I am 100% focused on my Lola time.  It seems to be the only thing I have in my life where I can push away all the external stresses and just live in that moment in time.  When I’m putting on my makeup and watching the reflection in the mirror become more and more feminine with each step I am completely engulfed in Lola’s world where there is no stress, no deadlines, no bills to pay.  The only order of business is relax, enjoy, and maybe login to CDH and chat with you lovely ladies!

💖Lola

12 users thanked author for this post.

Sandra Lasco, Deborah Sullivan, Brittney Andrews, Trish White, Erika Henderson, Leah, Michelle Cross, Cathryn, Stephanie Flowers, Keri Law, Lara Tucker, April Sinclair

[Caty Ryan]

Yes and has been fro decades..

1/. Initially and for decades, (as a therapist once told me), “Caty takes you to another place”

That place was the pressure of being in my own business and being in an unhappy and frustrating, (yes… that… way….) marriage. When dressed, I “made love” to the image in the mirror.

2/. When “troubles” arose, (ably fermented by my by then ex)  with my by then adult kids,  and I was still working and travelling extensively on business, again Caty came to the rescue.

3/. Still does these days when things “dont go right”.. EG I sleep femme every night, bra, breast forms and nightwear according to season. EG Right now its summer in OZ and if we get a coolish night, silk sleepwear is just the best.

Caty.

 

 

10 users thanked author for this post.

Dani Grand, Erika Henderson, Trish White, Leah, Cathryn, Stephanie Flowers, Keri Law, Lara Tucker, April Sinclair, Lola Caprice

[Leah]

my wife told me that while I am dressed, I am more calm and relaxed. Which really shocked me. Dressing does create some stress in itself, the fear of someone stopping by unexpectedly with no escape route to avoid being seen.

In my childhood years, sine I was smaller in body size, I did not feel I fit in the male world,but in the female world< I was a better match.

 

11 users thanked author for this post.

AnnaBeth Black, Roberta Broussard, Erika Henderson, Trish White, Katie Plowright, Cathryn, Stephanie Flowers, Keri Law, Lara Tucker, April Sinclair, Lola Caprice

[Jess Secret]

Stress relief is definitely one aspect of it for me since I have anxiety and stress in my life, but more than anything I dress because I love doing it – I love wearing beautiful lingerie at bedtime, there’s nothing like it.

10 users thanked author for this post.

Roberta Broussard, Erika Henderson, Trish White, Stephanie Flowers, Keri Law, Lara Tucker, April Sinclair, Lola Caprice, Brittney Andrews, Leah

[Sarah Cerise]

Hello Cathryn
It’s about being my inner self however it is also an escape and a stress reliever as well,
So basically it is a release physically and emotionally.
Love Sarah xx

9 users thanked author for this post.

Roberta Broussard, Erika Henderson, Cathryn, Stephanie Flowers, Keri Law, Lara Tucker, April Sinclair, Lola Caprice, Leah

[Sara Cousins]

I don’t think I can justify it as being an escape as much as cross dressing allowed me to find my inner self and if that release was an escape then I guess we could think of it as that.
I am almost always en femme in some way shape or form when ever at home and that is how I feel comfortable.
Sara

12 users thanked author for this post.

Roberta Broussard, Peggy Sue Williams, Deborah Sullivan, Dani Grand, Erika Henderson, Trish White, Cathryn, Stephanie Flowers, Keri Law, Lara Tucker, Lola Caprice, Leah

[Stephanie Flowers]

It’s certainly a stressful world and for half a century it’s been a trend I have followed to what society has been dictating and  what my family has honored in society’s  traditions. Our male world is extremely difficult always acting manly from early childhoods to becoming self independent and lastly responsibilities with our own famlies and careers.

Seeing all those stressers I’ve always looked for anything that could help and being attached to feminine clothing certainly helped throughout most of my time. But more importantly later in life as I explored more into dressing than came to realize how much it reduced the stresses, anxieties which hampered me. Telling my wife 5 year’s ago started this process to explore and today I’m much a better person to which my wife adores , happier and more important healthier.

Dressing ” Oh yes ” reliever in a big way….

Stephanie 🌷

9 users thanked author for this post.

Erika Henderson, Trish White, Giselle Reeves, Cathryn, Keri Law, Lara Tucker, Lola Caprice, Brittney Andrews, Leah

[Holly Morris]

Hi Cathryn, what a great question!

From my perspective, it absolutely is! Being able to shed the role of being male, along with all the responsibilities that goes along with that, is absolutely stress relief. It also allows me to fully embrace and experience a part of me that might otherwise not have an outlet. Being able to become a woman, even if that is only on a part-time basis definitely helps to release stress, making me more capable of dealing with all the other things in my (male) life. I’m able to dress like the woman I long to be, act like a woman, express my feelings and emotions differently, and much, much more. Plus, even just the act of looking forward to being a woman helps reduce stress, as I know that is coming soon.

So yes, many, many, many times yes! Being a woman is wonderful and definitely helps reduce stress.

Hugs,

Holly

11 users thanked author for this post.

Roberta Broussard, Deborah Sullivan, Erika Henderson, Trish White, Cathryn, Keri Law, April Sinclair, Lola Caprice, Leah, Stephanie Flowers, Lara Tucker

[Kim Dahlenbergen]

You are not wrong. Cross dressing fulfills those needs for you. At the same time, it can mean something completely different for others.

For me, not dressing creates stress…as though I am denying myself something that I need.

10 users thanked author for this post.

Roberta Broussard, Erika Henderson, Trish White, Cathryn, Deborah Sullivan, Keri Law, Lara Tucker, Lola Caprice, Brittney Andrews, Leah

[Angela Booth]

Looking at the replies here and many similar threads here it seems that a lot of girls feel relaxed and a different person, taking them away from the stresses they endure. Could it be that you are living that male persona to the full and it is not really your true nature and the stress increases. The feeling of calm and relaxation is that you are able to allow those suppressed feelings out which would not fit with the male side as women are allowed to be like that and men not so, hence the release.

There are other more male ways to relieve stress but we choose dressing which leads to other questions maybe. The fact is that it does you good, makes you a better person then it can only be a good thing.

 

 

 

12 users thanked author for this post.

Roberta Broussard, Dani Grand, Erika Henderson, Trish White, Deborah Sullivan, Keri Law, Fiona Black, April Sinclair, Lara Tucker, Lola Caprice, Leah, Stephanie Flowers

[Lara Tucker]

I really do think your insight is pretty spot on, at least for me.
Lara

3 users thanked author for this post.

Erika Henderson, Trish White, April Sinclair

[Kathleen]

For me personally the only ting that could be all wrong would be to ignore Kathleen. She is a major and cherished part of who I am.
Thanks Cathryn

7 users thanked author for this post.

Roberta Broussard, Erika Henderson, Trish White, Lara Tucker, Lola Caprice, Leah, Stephanie Flowers

[Suzanne Martin]

I do find that when I am dressed my stress level decreases.  There have been times my wife has asked if I need some Suzanne time as I’m getting a bit stressed.  I find it to be relaxing to be able to slip into a persona who doesn’t have the issues of my male self.  I also find that being here is relaxing as I am able to open up and talk about things I can’t talk with others about.

Thank you all for being in my life and sharing your journey’s.

XOXO
Suzanne

8 users thanked author for this post.

Erika Henderson, Trish White, Cathryn, Lara Tucker, Lola Caprice, Brittney Andrews, Leah, Stephanie Flowers

[Suzanne Martin]

I do find that when I am dressed my stress level decreases.  There have been times my wife has asked if I need some Suzanne time as I’m getting a bit stressed.  I find it to be relaxing to be able to slip into a persona who doesn’t have the issues of my male self.  I also find that being here is relaxing as I am able to open up and talk about things I can’t talk with others about.

Thank you all for being in my life and sharing your journey’s.

XOXO
Suzanne

9 users thanked author for this post.

Roberta Broussard, Erika Henderson, Trish White, Cathryn, April Sinclair, Lara Tucker, Lola Caprice, Brittney Andrews, Leah

[Rozalyn Richards]

Hi Cathryn I’m with the other girls on this one, when I’m Roz I’m much more calmer and contented with the world, all my stresses seem to disappear, as for you saying are you doing anything wrong well if you feel better as your Fem self then you are not doing anything wrong, we are all sister’s on here and we all feel the same sort of things, being our Fem self make’s us feel free and a whole lot calmer person X 🎀

Hugs Rozalyn X 💋

9 users thanked author for this post.

Roberta Broussard, Erika Henderson, Trish White, April Sinclair, Lara Tucker, Lola Caprice, Brittney Andrews, Leah, Stephanie Flowers

[Cerys Burton]

In recent years, after a serious period of depression, I am half the man I used to be. I used to be confident. I could solve problems without thinking. I could take on the world. Nothing phased me. I am no longer that person. He is still there, but very rarely comes to the surface. I became afraid to tackle problems. I’ll push them aside. I cannot make decisions. I am a shadow of the man I used to be.
Cerys gives me confidence. Cerys makes me feel more in control of my life and surroundings. Cerys makes me feel like I can take on the world…. Cerys is (almost) my superhero persona. The more I get down the more extravagant/sexy my dressing. If I’m not so down, and in a good mood, Cerys will be more every day woman about town.
Whilst Cerys causes problems, she lifts me. The long and short of it is….
Cerys saved me.

Cerys.

11 users thanked author for this post.

Erika Henderson, Trish White, Lara Tucker, Lola Caprice, Leah, Stephanie Flowers, Natalie Jones, Angela Booth, Suzanne Martin, Thea, Roberta Broussard

[Karen Allum]

Hi Cathryn,

Back in the early 1990s I had a very stressful job and I found that becoming Karen in the evening when I got home from work was definitely an escape from all the stress and worry. By putting on lingerie, a dress, make-up and a wig I became a different person – a calm and much more relaxed person.

Now I’m retired I no longer have all that stress and simply enjoy being Karen whenever I get the opportunity.

Karen x

 

11 users thanked author for this post.

Erika Henderson, Trish White, Cathryn, Lara Tucker, Lola Caprice, Brittney Andrews, Leah, Stephanie Flowers, Suzanne Martin, Thea, Roberta Broussard

[Thea]

Not for the first time I find other ladies have put down just what I feel: though much more elegantly! More and more I feel like the cross dressing is the bit when I appear male.  When I can let my feminine energy flow I am more relaxed, happier, less stressed, more creative… Just more me.  It’s taken me a long time to feel like this, and initially it was an escape from the drab artificial world of maleness that had always been so problematic for me.

Hugs Thea

10 users thanked author for this post.

Trish White, Katie Plowright, Keri Law, Lara Tucker, Lola Caprice, Leah, Stephanie Flowers, Suzanne Martin, Roberta Broussard, Erika Henderson

[Emily Alt]

Presenting as a male feels like a well worn act.  It’s fake and it induces stress.  If anything, that’s when I’m crossdressing.

Presenting as my authentic self does the opposite.  Stress and dysphoria fade away.

/EA

15 users thanked author for this post.

Rhonda Lee, Trish White, Cathryn, Lara Tucker, Lola Caprice, Leah, Stephanie Flowers, Stephenie Derick, Suzanne Martin, Roberta Broussard, Sara Thomassm, Thea, Rachel Tyrell, Erika Henderson

[Erika Henderson]

It absolutely is for me!  Plus, I finally get to be honest with myself as to who I am.

7 users thanked author for this post.

Rhonda Lee, Trish White, Lara Tucker, Lola Caprice, Leah, Suzanne Martin

[Author]

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